Hiding in my apartment, watching reruns of Real Housewives sounded like an okay idea for my day off, but now I'm wondering if I still have my sanity.

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@cory-lam-blog
Hiding in my apartment, watching reruns of Real Housewives sounded like an okay idea for my day off, but now I'm wondering if I still have my sanity.
"Some stupid teenager hit my car and ran today. I hate people."
"The damage isn't too bad though, right?"
CORY LAM;
a playlist for the boy who traveled to escape expectations set by himself. may he find relaxation. [ listen to the whole playlist or keep reading for individuals ]
i. richard cory by simon and garfunkel ii. well respected man by the kinks iii. ghost of corporate future by regina spektor iv. goes without saying by anchor and braille v. cats in the cradle by harry chapin vi. pet sematary by ramones vii. the boxer by mumford and sons viii. sentimental heart by she & him ix. bukowski by the modest mouse
I scrubbed in on an open heart surgery, so I'd like to think that I was at least a little festive.
"Um… Then maybe you should have a few… or more then a few…"
"You're enabling me-- I don't appreciate it. But I can admit that you're probably right. "
I’d be careful with the generalization there, but I can tell you what one girl thinks. It’d be a biased opinion though seeing as that “one girl” is a professional tattoo artist. A little, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying they’re the same. I mean, the nose eventually heals over time and then good as new, no? A temporary tattoo won’t magically become a real one over time. Plus, it lacks all originality and individuality. I can make it good for shock factor though…are you afraid of needles?
No no, that wasn’t that…um…
…well, I have goosebumps because it was that horrifying…ly terrible. Just…could use some work. You sounded like a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western themed Sprite commercial.
Alright fine, not all. Most. A lot. That's generally what I hear, okay? You're a little biased, but pleasantly so, I suppose. "Good as new"? Oh god, no. Not at all. If you don't set a broken nose, it heal all wonky-- aesthetically speaking of course. It can heal on its own but it isn't pretty. Think Owen Wilson or most athletes. I see your point on temporary tattoos, though. But are any tattoos actually original? I feel like most people are copying someone else and saying they have their own meaning-- doesn't sound too creative. Me? Scared of needles? What? No! No way. I'm going to be a doctor, I love needles.
Okay fine, I don't mind using them on other people. On me, though. Yes, they're terrifying.
Clint Eastwood in a Sprite commercial? You're kidding, right? I had to be better than that. I was hoping for at least a villain from A Pup Named Scooby Doo...
Depends. Who exactly are you trying to impress? I could powder it for you; take off the sheen. Still wouldn’t be passable for most, but if you own it, you know, wear it with confidence…could work. Can I see your best tough guy impression? Es necesario…for safety purposes.
Well, there's a cute girl in my building-- don't all girls think tattoos are dreamy or something? And I think it'd be pretty funny to send a picture to my family-- they'd go nuts over it. Mainly because I'm the last person they'd ever expect to get a tattoo. But you can actually do that? Make them look a little realistic? I set a broken nose so that it looks like nothing ever happened, that's kind of the same thing, right?
My uh, my best tough guy impression? Yeah, okay sure, here goes nothing--- Hey, buddy. You owe me a soda. Get me a sprite or pay the price. I'm warnin' ya. That was shameful, wasn't it?
"After today, I defiantly need a drink."
"I hear that. Unfortunately, I have to wake up early in the morning and one drink can never quite quench my thirst."
I can lead the way to the grocer’s down the street. They have one of those temporary tattoo vending machines. Less commitment. Cheaper too. I mean, fifty cents is quite the bargain. Muy muy barato. Just stay away from water and your street cred will stay intact.
Ah yes, the tough guy skull and crossbones or the classic rose or some Chinese phrase that I can't read would definitely suit me much more than the real deal. But would they look authentic? Do you think people would know they're fake because I'm trying to look tough here.
You know, choosing a tattoo really shouldn’t be an impromptu decision. You can have a look at my portfolio, or we could brainstorm. Do you have any ideas of what you want?
Oh god, oh god. This is a real commitment, isn't it? I thought it was something I could just decide on a whim but now that you mention it, this is a big deal. I can't even think of something important enough to tattoo on myself, I just want to seem tough.
"This— this— is ridiculous.”
What is this?
Very serious.
Oh, uh, alright. This is a little confidential, but the prostitute kept her money-- I'll just say it was hidden really well. So much so that they doctors had to find it and help her pull it out. And every time they'd find some, she'd tell them that she had more up there. I think they eventually found $130. But she was convinced there was $50 more to be found.
"That’s awesome.”
That is not awesome, it's freaky.