“Andrew When I was a kid I would sometimes secretly call myself Andrew Would tug at the crotch of my pants the way only pubescent boys do Ran around pounding on my bare chest like Tarzan It’s not that I thought I’d grow up to be a man I just never thought I’d grow up to be a woman either From what I could tell neither of those categories seemed to fit me But believe me, I knew from a very young age never to say “Hey dad, this adam and eve thing isn’t really working for me I mean, what about all the people in between?” In the third grade Lynette Lyons asked me where all of my barbies were I lied and told her I got in trouble, so my mom took them away I didn’t dare say: Barbie sucks, Lynette! And for that matter Tommy, so does GI Joe I wanna grow into something none of us have ever seen before And gender is just one of the ways we’re boxed in and labeled before we’re ever able To speak who we believe we are Or who we dream we’ll become Like drumbeats forever changing their rhythm I am living today as someone I had not yet become yesterday And tonight I will borrow only pieces of who I am today To carry with me to tomorrow No I’m not gay No I’m not straight And I’m sure as hell not bisexual damn it I am whoever I am when I am it Loving whoever you are when the stars shine And whoever you’ll be when the sun rises Yes, I like girls Yes, I like boys Yes, I like boys who like boys I like girls who wear toys and girls who don’t Girls who don’t call themselves girls Crew cuts or curls or that really bad hair phase in between I like steam rising from the body of a one-night stand I like holding hands for three months before kissing I like wishing your body was Saturn My body, a thousand rings wrapped around you You wanted to be a Buddhist nun once Last night you held my cervix between your fingers I thanked gods I don’t believe in for your changing Tell me we’ll be naming our children beautiful and nothing else Tell Barbie she can go now Tell GI joe to put his gun down and find a boyfriend Or a girlfriend Or a girl/boyfriend Fuck it, GI joe just needs a friend, y’all I mean, he’s plastic And not even the kind of plastic that bends I want to bend in a thousand directions Like the sun does Like love does Like time stopped So the hands of the clock could hold each other And we held each other like I held these words for too many years on the tip of my tongue I am my mother’s daughter I am midnight’s sun You can find me on the moon waxing and waning My heart full of petals every single one begging Love me, love me, love me Whoever I am Whoever I become”
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