Cosmo Corvid's Media Blog

I post my music here. I also post a variety of short stories as well. Any/All

[cosmocorvid]

new layout

this site is so pretty now

[cosmocorvid]

Cosmo Corvid Presents is out

[cosmocorvid]

Officially retired from Twitter here's the best image I ever posted to that app

[cosmocorvid]

Nvm they unsuspended me

[cosmocorvid]

Officially retired from Twitter here's the best image I ever posted to that app

[cosmocorvid]

The Album

its about 70% done so expect it pretty soon

[cosmocorvid]

Throckmorton

WHO THE FUCK IS THROCKMORTON

[evnuwu-deactivated20230531]

i really dont wanna go homeless in portland where theres already a lot of people that want to violently eradicate the homeless population

but sadly i only got 500 dollars a month and cant drive and have a hard time doing things on my own and that isnt likely to change for a long time even though i will be forced to do things on my own, i simply wont

maybe if i camp on the beach it will be ok but idk what im doing and nobody can help me because nobody has a spare room or anything like that and im on...

really really short notice

[cosmocorvid]

The Résumés

After years of fifteen years of physical training and mentally preparing, I thought I was finally ready to take this mercenary shit seriously. See, I put out a recruitment ad about two weeks ago and I'm convinced that I'm the victim of a massive trolling campaign. The people who are applying have low ability, no ability or are flat out hurting themselves. You don't believe me? Just listen to this shit.

" I think I would be a great fit on your team because I am strong"

That's all they wrote on the form too. No name, no address and it wasn't even in an envelope. I don't even know how it got to my mailbox. But never mind that, the worst thing about this entry is the lack of elaboration. Like, how strong is "strong"? Is this "Orc strong" or slightly above average gnome? There's a big difference y'know. To be fair, I've met some strong gnomes. I saw one fighting a dwarf in a nightclub once. Took about twenty bouncers to get them separated. They called them the "Pint Sized Pugilists." This is only the start though. It gets worse. Look at this one.

"I am unmistakably a great fit because I have the spectacular ability to turn into a sun flower."

Putting aside the fact that sunflowers are quite beautiful, what is the real world application of this? How am I gonna fight somebody with a sunflower? By spitting seeds at them? Aggressively throwing petals? Oh yeah, the motherfucker has to go through the full sunflower life cycle before he can turn back into a human. To top it off, If he dies as a plant he's fucked! He's dead as a human too! I gotta pour water on this dude for two weeks! This is why my uncle told me he always worked alone. Of course he got ganged up on by fifty elvish militants with swords and corium cannons so maybe its not the best idea to try to fight an army by yourself.

Now you see what I'm going through right? I can't get the Lord's tax money without you giving me a chance to get said money into my pocket. Give me some time, I might have the money in a week, a month, or maybe even in a year. Alright buddy, I'll have the silver in a month. If it takes any longer, I'll leave "Stapleton" for good. I won't even send my pet otters after you. Deal?

[cosmocorvid]

#REAL

I'll serve cunt but I wont serve this cuntry

[cosmocorvid]

[phoub]

girl who drills holes into my head

[cosmocorvid]

You know they called Vivaldi a starving artist

Mainly because he was baroque as hell

[pi-slices]

Bubbling Glass - 230201

[cosmocorvid]

Paul Pelosi's attacker not being apologetic is reflective of the republican party not even attempting to hide it's violent tendencies anymore but instead pretending that they were provoked by outside factors whether it be supposed "groomers" or "attacks" on freedom and liberty.

[cosmocorvid]

Frogger

it was a commentary on car centric infrastructure

[cosmocorvid]

These fries are 6 years old. It wasn't an experiment or anything I just wanted to see what would happen. They're just stale fr

[cosmocorvid]

I cant listen to 90s rnb no more bruh

every fucking song, all I see is "produced by R. Kelly" I cant escape this mf bro. I just wanna listen to some rnb. I don't need to be reminded of a sex criminal.