The shitstorm that is my life

We're talking some Old Testament style smite here. And it ALWAYS happens to me.

[94389o395739j953275-deactivated]

[cumonthevoid]

these

fuckin

white people

[paranoidrobot-deactivated201110]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

Say what you will about the Catholic Church (We still disagree vehemently about LGBT issues), but this is how it is done.  BOOM.

[newkidssonmycock]

[weirdspartan]

The fuck just happened here? Did they rescued the black girl from the projects? or is she just drunk as fuck on regular basis? 

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

So I'm planning a family cookout...

And I don't know how I missed the fact that my entire family hates me/each other. Now, how in the actual fuck do I get them all together in one place? This booze tab is going to be astronomical. Please let them not kill each other before then. They probably will though.

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

Happy Birthday!!

Today is a face-meltingly awesome woman's birthday. Jesus tried to steal her thunder with that whole resurrection thing, but I'm making sure she gets what's due. Happy Birthday, Amanda!!!!

[communitythings]

[publius-assholeius]

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

I'm perfectly comfortable with being single for the rest of my life. Considering I can't date without a guy becoming insanely clingy and bitchy, I feel this is a smart decision.

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

Happy Birthday, Hayley!!!!

Seriously, hope the day is awesome!

[quityourlife]

[cracked]

Just like new.

[thefrogman]

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

This is why I am deathly afraid of goats.  They're evil evil creatures.

[theawesomestuffblog]

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

This made my night

[meme4u]

[tumblegags]

Now this is what I call hilarious

[luigilessa]

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

Bahahahahahahhahahaha!!!!

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

Things you can't unsee.

Tonight, my father walked into the kitchen wearing leather ass-less chaps over his jeans.  He is convinced that these are in no way gay, and make him look like a super cool biker.  Scars that won't heal...

[memelade-blog]

[theinturnetexplorer]

he’s such a kidder.

Ohhhh Jesus.

[couldntmakeitupifitried-blog]

Annnnd I'm screwed.

How do you accidentally spend all night on the phone with someone you don't know at all?  And why am I not upset that I won't be sleeping until tomorrow night?  I should be irritated and cranky.  Instead I'm just content.  Sooooo screwed.