What's Wrong with Your Country Song?

Here, I'll tell you.

[countrycritic-blog]

Love Don't Run

Written by Rachel Thibodeau, Joe Leathers, and Ben Glover, "Love Don't Run" is about sticking with a relationship, no matter what. It's sung by Steve Holy. STEVE HOLY.

This is gonna hurt, this is gonna hurt like hell This is gonna damn near kill me, sometimes the truth aint easy I know that you’re scared of telling me something I don’t wanna hear, but baby believe that I’m not leaving, you couldn’t give me one good reason [Chorus:] Love don’t run, love don’t hide It won't turn away or back down from a fight Baby I’m right here and I aint going anywhere Love’s too tough it wont give up no not on us Baby Love don’t run

Look, I get it. I think it's important to put effort and work into relationships. But maybe you should hear what she has to say before you promise to never ever leave her. As my dear friend Abby (who sent me this song to write about, so thanks!) points out, "CREEPY.  Also, what if he is not the father?!  THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO INTERPRET THAT."

She's exactly right. Steve could be about to get some really bad news. Examples:

- He's not the father

- She's going to jail for 10 years (or longer! Or shorter! It all sucks!)

- She was faking the whole time

- She likes sex, just not with him

- Her side job is piracy

- She thinks they need to break up

- I DON'T KNOW! YALL TELL ME!!!!

Anyways, yeah, it's a little creepy. Dude need to back off. I think we can all recognize that. 

Seriously, though, what do you think she's going to tell him? My money's on, "Darling, I went and got a restraining order today. You need to move 15 feet away from me now."

[countrycritic-blog]

Country Music and Suicide

I don't actually really like any songs right now, so here's this.

[countrycritic-blog]

You Ain't Much Fun

(Another one without an official video? What's going on here? Am I just not searching far enough on youtube?)

Written by Toby Keith and Carl Goff Jr, "You Ain't Much Fun" is about a man who loves drinking, but sobers up. 

I used to come home late and not a minute too soon

Barking like a dog, howling at the moon You'd be mad as an ol' WET hen, up all night wonderin' where I been I'd fall down and say come help me honey You laughed out loud, I guess you thought it was funny I sobered up, and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin' Now I'm paintin' the house and I'm mendin' the fence I guess I gone and lost all my good sense Too much work is hard for your health I could've died drinkin', now I'm killing myself Now I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash It's honey do this, honey do that I sobered up, and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin' Now I'm fixin' the sink and I'm mowin' the grass You made me a list and I'm bustin' my - WELL.... All broke down, tail's been draggin' It's a tough ol' life up here on the wagon Now I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash It's honey do this, honey do that I sobered up, and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin' Yeah, I sobered up, and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Alcoholism Test:

Do you lose time from work because of drinking? Doesn't seem to, so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Is drinking making your homelife unhappy? If she's laughing at you because you're falling down drunk, then probably.

Do you drink because you're shy with other people? I don't think Toby Keith is shy. No.

Is drinking affecting your reputation? Probably.

Do you ever feel remorse after drinking? It sounds like he's got a hell of a hangover after drinking. I bet there's remorse.

Have you ever had financial difficulties as a result of drinking? I don't think so. No.

Do you turn to inferior companions and environments when drinking? For some reason, I doubt Toby is hanging around intellectuals when he's barking like a dog and howling at the moon.

Does drinking make you careless of your family's welfare? Umm, if he's making her come out in the middle of the night to help him inside? Yes.

Has your ambition decreased since drinking? Did he ever have ambition? Whatever. Saying yes.

Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily? Probably. Yes.

Do you want a drink the next morning? I'm guessing yes, based on how drunk he got. 

Does drinking cause you to have difficulty sleeping? Doubtful. Probably just passes out.

Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? Judging by all the chores he gets once he's sobered up, YES.

Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business? Yes?

Do you drink to escape from worries or troubles? Nah, I think he just drinks.

Do you drink alone? Probably. Sitting at the bar, drinking alone? Sounds about right.

Have you ever had a loss of memory as a result of drinking?  HAS to be.

Has a physician ever treated you for drinking? Doesn't sound that way.

Do you drink to build up your self-confidence? Umm, I don't think Toby Keith needs to build up self-confidence.

Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking? I don't think so.

You answered 12 items out of 20 Yes.

Your score is 60%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered more than half of these questions Yes you should definitely seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional as soon as possible.

Even if this weren't a song about how he misses being an alcoholic, it's just...bad. It's not HER fault that he's no longer trying to kill himself with alcohol. In fact, he should be thanking her! She could have kicked him out.

Also, that list? Really not that bad. At least he's not cleaning bathrooms and doing all the laundry. It sounds like a pretty equitable division of ordinary chores. Nothing outrageous. I could definitely come up with a lot more awful things for him to do. Those are all just plain old adult things. Things you have to do to be a contributing member of society. In other words, Toby here has just discovered that being a responsible adult sucks. Yup, that's about it. It's not that she's less fun; rather, life is less fun. But probably healthier and overall more enjoyable. Cheer up, Tobe!

(Also, if you are struggling with a drinking problem, then please get help.)

[countrycritic-blog]

Back When

(Evidently there's not an official video for this? Weird.)

Written by Stan Lynch, Stephony Smith, and Jeff Stevens and recorded by Tim McGraw, this song waxes nostalgic for a nicer, sweeter, more innocent time. What's bothered me, though, is that I can't quite figure out what time it is he wants back. Tim sings:

Don't you remember

 The fizz in a pepper

Peanuts in a bottle At ten, two and four A fried bologna sandwich With mayo and tomato Sittin' round the table Don't happen much anymore We got too complicated It's all way over-rated I like the old and out-dated Way of life Back when a hoe was a hoe Coke was a coke And crack's what you were doing When you were cracking jokes Back when a screw was a screw The wind was all that blew And when you said I'm down with that Well it meant you had the flu I miss back when I miss back when I miss back when I love my records Black, shiny vinyl Clicks and pops And white noise Man they sounded fine I had my favorite stations The ones that played them all Country, soul and rock-and-roll What happened to those times?

I've seen people put peanuts in Pepsi as recently as 2007, but I haven't been looking recently. I'm pretty sure my grandfather still eats fried bologna sandwiches most days. And maybe we're a crazy family, but when I go home to see my parents, we still eat dinner together around the table. I guess Tim hasn't hung out in East Nashville too much, because if he's looking for records, he just needs to find the hipsters (or audiophiles, which, again, is East Nashville).

But Tim (or the writers, rather) uses a list of slang words to refer to a time that he prefers. So let's see when that time was:

When was a "ho" a "hoe"? Some time before 1999 (http://www.etymonline.com).

When was coke a Coke? Sometime before 1908. (Although "Coke" wasn't trademarked by Coca-Cola until 1944, according to Wiki.)

Crack was crack cocaine by 1986.

Screw meaning DOING IT dates to 1926. 

Blow has referred to fellatio since 1933.

"Down with that" dates to the 1990s.

I don't know. Maybe Tim is nostalgic for 1907? I don't know that I would be. Some terrible things happened that year. I don't think it was all that better than 2010, to be honest. 

Look, I get the whole nostalgia thing. I do. I often think that college was better in the 70s. Cooler hair, lots of disco, fun rock music, no cell phones. But in 20 years, people will be saying the same thing about the early 2000s. It's pointless. But if you're going to be all sentimental about times gone by, then at least figure out what time period it is you're actually missing. Come on, Tim.

[countrycritic-blog]

Barefoot Blue Jean Night

Congratulations to Jake Owen (and writers Eric Palsay, Dylan Altman, and Terry Sawchuk) for writing a song that I just can't hate.

Oh, sure, it bothers me that the ladies in this song are just "girls" and it really bothers me that the song talks about a REDHEAD (holla! that's awesome) but then the video features a brunette (who is oh-so-cute trying her darndest to wakeboard like the boys, but she's just a girl, so she CAN'T ugh), but all in all? I still love the song. So enjoy! Go have a barefoot blue jean night of your own. 

(Um also I don't know what your screenshot for this video is, but he certainly looks like Jesus in mine! Awesome!)

[countrycritic-blog]

Mean

There's no one to blame for this awful logic except TSwizzle herself, since she writes it all by her lonesome. And while she's partly right (some people are just mean, I guess), she sort of contradicts that herself, in this song. Here:

I bet you got pushed around Somebody made you cold But the cycle ends right now Cause you can't lead me down that road And you don't know, what you don't know... Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city And all you're ever going to be is mean Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever going to be is mean Why you gotta be so mean? And I can see you years from now in a bar Talking over a football game With that same big loud opinion But nobody's listening Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing But all you are is mean All you are is mean And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

So this antagonist was pushed around. S/he used to be a nice person, but someone made him/her a mean, cold person. And Taylor's going to stop this cycle right now by...calling the antagonist names. And making predictions about the sad trajectory of this person's life. 

Well Taylor, that just seems...MEAN. I don't know. My mother always told me that mean people usually have a reason to be mean (they're jealous, they're insecure, whatever). If Taylor REALLY wants to stop the cycle, perhaps she should DWJWD (do what Jesus would do, which seems like something TBaby would be into) and turn the other cheek, be a friend to her enemy, that sort of thing. Perhaps then she really could stop this cycle. She could help this antagonist figure out something s/he is good at, so s/he can stop talking about how much Taylor sucks. (Although there might be a lot of people talking about how Taylor sucks?)

Anyways. Taylor gets on my iffy-list a lot. I think she generally writes songs that are a little lady-hating ("Other girl is BAD and I am GOOD because I am DIFFERENT!" Reverse is also true, honey) or are lacking in the logic department (see: Love Story) and so I'm not really willing to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one. Taylor! Breaking the cycle? You're doing it wrong.

(Also, don't you love how TSwizz is the only one allowed to be pretty in the video? Of course.)

[countrycritic-blog]

Pretty Good at Drinking Beer

I think Billy Currington (or Troy Jones, who wrote this particular song) needs some career counseling. I'm sure that there are people out there who are legitimately talented at mowing yards (how DO they get those different colored stripes in the grass?), but it's not something you really have to be good at. You just do it. I know, because I've done it. Let's look at all the things Billy says he's not good at:

I wasn’t born for diggin deep holes I’m not made for pavin long roads I ain’t cut out to climb high line poles But I’m pretty good at drinkin beer I’m not the type to work in a bank I’m no good at slappin on paint Don’t have a knack for makin motors crank, no But I’m pretty good at drinkin beer So hand me one more That’s what I’m here for I’m built for having a ball I love the nightlife I love my Bud light I like ‘em cold and tall I ain’t much for mowin thick grass I’m too slow for workin’ too fast I don’t do windows so honey don’t ask But I’m pretty good at drinkin’ beer A go getter maybe I’m not I’m not known for doin’ a lot But I do my best work when the weather’s hot I’m pretty good at drinkin’ beer So hand me one more That’s what I’m here for I’m built for having a ball I love the nightlife I love my Bud light I like ‘em cold and tall I wasn’t born for diggin deep holes I’m not made for pavin long roads I aint cut out to climb high line poles But I’m pretty good at drinkin beer I’m pretty good at drinkin beer [Spoken] oh hand me one more boys… That’s what I’m here for

So. Billy says he's no good at digging holes. That's not really much of a talent-driven job, I don't think? My brother-in-law goes to the beach and digs deep holes. I wouldn't say he's particularly skilled at it, but he still does it. Billy could probably pull that one off. 

Now I don't want to offend anyone in the construction business, but paving long roads is, again, sort of something that you learn how to do and then you just...do it. Maybe you need patience, but that's learnable too.

As for high-line poles, well, if you have a fear of heights then that one might be out of reach. I don't think I could do it. I get vertigo when I go to the indoor climbing wall. You get a pass on that on, Billy.

Maybe you're not the type to work in a bank. I'm not. I'm no good at numbers and Ihate the smell of money. So there's another pass. But slapping on paint? It sounds like a technique problem. You don't generally slap on paint. That's when it looks sloppy. See, Billy? You CAN do these things! You just need to learn how.

You know, I don't know about making motors crank. I suppose that's something you could get the rudiments of, but if you just don't have that sort of mindset then it might be too challenging. I don't know; I'm a girl and we weren't encouraged to take shop class (although I think I WOULD have a knack for making motors crank).

Here's the part of the song that just kills me, though. You're too slow to work too fast? No. You're just LAZY. Although...is that my privilege showing? Is this really a commentary on homelessness or dependency on social services? Well now I'm not sure that I should be talking about this.

But don't you call me honey, you lazy drunk. 

[countrycritic-blog]

Pray for You

Remember this song? It was on the radio a year ago or so. "Pray for You" was written by Jaron Lowenstein and Joel Brentlinger. And it's a terrible, terrible song.

I don't care what someone's done to you, you don't wish them DEAD. That's essentially what he's saying here. "I hope you are killed in a terrible accident." But he's doing it under the couch of religion, and that makes it even worse. Lyrics!

I haven't been to church since I don't remember when Things were going great '˜til they fell apart again So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do He said you cant go hating others who have done wrong to you. Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn. Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them. I pray your brakes go out running down a hill I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the  head like I'd like to I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls I pray all your dreams never come true Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you I'm really glad I found my way to church 'Cause I'm already feeling better and I thank God for his words. Yeah I'm going take the high road, And do what the preacher told me to do, You keep messing up and I'll keep praying for you. I pray your tire blows out at 110. I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with  his and her tattoos. I pray your brakes go out running down a hill. I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the  head like I'd like to. I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls I pray all your dreams never come true Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your  car, wherever you are honey, I pray for you. I pray for you

Well Jaron, perhaps you need to go back to church and brush up on how we treat people these days. We don't pray for their brakes to go out while they're driving their car. It doesn't matter what she did to you, that's ridiculous.

And the real kicker? It has to be admitting that he wants to "knock [her] in the head." Domestic violence is BAD. 

[countrycritic-blog]

Smoke A Little Smoke

It's been a long Monday. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess. I didn't drink or smoke (trying to be healthy, yo) but...I DID listen to this song. Enjoy. I promise I'll be better about posting tomorrow.

[countrycritic-blog]

Love Story

Let's talk Taylor Swift!! Particularly her song "Love Story." It's...ugh. Well, there are lots of problems with it. First, the lyrics:

We were both young when I first saw you. I close my eyes, and the flashback starts, I'm standing there,  On the balcony in summer air. I see the lights, see the party, the ballgowns. See you make your way through the crowd, And say, "Hello",  Little did I know, That you were Romeo,  You were throwing pebbles, And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet." And I was crying on the staircase,  Begging you, "Please don't go". And I said, "Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run. You be the prince, and I'll be the princess, It's a love story, baby, just say, 'yes'." So I sneak out to the garden to see you, We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if he knew, So close your eyes,  Escape this town for a little while. 'Cause you were Romeo,  I was a scarlet letter, And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet." But you were everything to me,  Begging you, "Please don't go". And I said, "Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run. You be the prince, and I'll be the princess, It's a love story, baby, just say, 'yes'." "Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel. This love is difficult, but it's real. Don't be afraid, we'll make it of this mess, It's a love story, baby, just say, 'yes'." Well, I got tired of waiting, Wondering if you were ever coming around. My faith in you was fading,  When I met you on the outskirts of town. And I said, "Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you, but you never come. Is this in my head,  I don't know what to think," You knelt to the ground,  And pulled out a ring and said, "Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone. I love you, and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress,  It's a love story, baby just say yes." We were both young when I first saw you...

Ok. So I don't know why Romeo and Juliet is so romantic to people. It's been a while since I've read it, but from what I remember, these were two dumb kids. They met (and Romeo was on the rebound, btw), decided to get married RIGHT THEN, I think they consummated their marriage (and Juliet is like 13), then blah blah blah she takes fake death potion, he sees that, kills himself, she sees he's dead and kills herself. They knew each other like a week. I have plenty of friends I've known for a month or two and thought they were great but then I realize how stupid they are or whatever. Maybe Romeo and Juliet should have dated or something. I don't know. Seems smart.

But my point is, comparing yourself to Romeo and Juliet is not romantic. It just means you're an idiot and have no idea what actually makes love work. It's shared experiences and growth and respect and all that. But beyond love... seriously, Taylor, let's talk about being a self-actualized woman. Or at least a woman who partially respects herself. 

I get that we all want to be loved. Sure. I want that too. But you know what? We don't all GET to be loved. Or at least, not all of the time. So why waste your life waiting on a man to come back for you when you could be out there doing awesome things with your life? 

The idea of someone being your "everything" is ridiculous. You should have your own friends, outside of your Romeo figure. If your significant other is your entire social circle, then you are probably co-dependent and need to get out of that relationship. Or s/he might be abusive and trying to isolate you so s/he can do bad things to you. Either way, it's not good. So let's stop pretending that it's romantic.

And lastly. Scarlet letter. Really, Taylor? Did you even read the book? Are you saying that you slept with the minister and had a baby? That you're a puritan? No.

(Also. The video? Wrong time period. But good try, TSwizzle.)

[countrycritic-blog]

Online

Brad Paisley has this song about being an unattractive guy in real life (or IRL, as we internet geeks say...er, write). But when he's on the internet, he lies and says:

'cause online I'm out in Hollywood I'm 6'5 and I look damn good I drive a Maserati I'm a black belt in Karate And I love a good glass of wine

It goes on. Here's my problem with these lyrics: it's pretty obvious that Brad Paisley, Chris DuBois, and Kelly Lovelace haven't actually spent a lot of time online. Because any time someone tells you that they drive a Maserati? Pics or it didn't happen. Ditto for modeling for Calvin Klein. Want to be a success online? Brag about...I don't know, how often your tweets get retweeted (or re-google-plussed) or how many times the author of the AV Club article you commented on has replied to your comments. Things like that are impressive. (Or so I've heard.) No one believes the person commenting online (or with a dating profile online- again, pics or it didn't happen!) is 6'5" and drives a Maserati. Besides, that's generally not what matters to the women who are ALSO online. Or so I've heard.

Whatever. Brad, get back to me when you've spent some time on 4chan.

[countrycritic-blog]

Am I the Only One

IT'S MONDAY! Can you tell by the lateness of this post that I was off having a fabulous day? Because I was. And because I'm so happy, I'm not snarking on anyone. I just like this song. Enjoy!

[countrycritic-blog]

"This Is Country Music"

Written by Brad Paisley and Chris DuBois, "This is Country Music" is an ode to...country music. SURPRISE! It's not bad. I especially like the part at the end where he sings one line from all those other songs. That's fun. But what IS wrong with this song is that, well...he's wrong. 

THIS POST COULD NOT HAVE BEEN WRITTEN WITHOUT ABBY! So thank you, Abby, you're awesome!!

Let's look at the lyrics. 

You're not supposed to say the word cancer in a song. And tellin' folks Jesus is the answer can rub 'em wrong. It ain't hip to sing about tractors, trucks, little towns, and mama, yeah that might be true. But this is country music and we do. Well you like to drink a cold one on the weekend and get a little loud Do you wanna say I'm sorry or I love ya but you don't know how? Do you wish somebody had the nerve to tell that stupid boss of yours to shove it next time he yells at you? Well this is country music and we do So turn it on, turn it up, and sing along This is real; this is your life in a song Yeah this is country music. Are you haunted by the echo of your mother on the phone Cryin' as she tells you that your brother is not coming home? And if there's anyone that still has pride and the memory of those that died defending the old red, white, and blue, This is country music and we do. So turn it on, turn it up, and sing along This is real; this is your life in a song Just like a road that takes you home Yeah this is right where you belong This is country music This is country music He Stopped Lovin' Her Today Hello Darlin' God Bless the USA Amarillo by Morning Stand by your Man Momma tried Take Me Home I Walk the Line Country Boy Can Survive 

Is country music the only genre that sings about cancer, little towns, mama, tractors, trucks, drinking, weekends, getting loud, saying you're sorry or "I love you," telling your boss to shove it (that one was particularly on the nose), or patriotic things? Uh, obviously! 

Also, that should have been, "...those WHO died defending..." (the exact same thing we saw in "Gimme That Girl").

(SO! Which song was your favorite?! Make sure you got them all: The Verve, Kanye, The Wurzels, The Lacs, Fergie, J Lo, Kanye again, Snoop Dogg, Rebecca Black, Black Eyed Peas, OutKast, Olivia Newton-John, Dead Kennedys, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, Metallica, Paper Lace, and Brian Cadd.)

[countrycritic-blog]

Country Must Be Country Wide

I hadn't happened across any songs on the radio that I was ready to write about just yet, and it seemed too lazy to just put up a Toby Keith song and say, "XENOPHOBIA!" and be done with it, so I brought up the Country Top 40 chart. I scrolled down until I saw "Country Must Be Country Wide" and then I stopped. What in the world could this song title mean? 

As it turns out, Brantley Gilbert (or whoever wrote this song; wikipedia is failing me) meant to say that "Country Must Be Countrywide" which actually means something. It took me a few minutes, going through the lyrics, to figure this out. "Country Must Be Country Wide"? I wondered. Does he mean that a country is a unit of measurement? (Sure, it sounds dumb, but as we've already seen, logic isn't always present when people write songs.) No, indeed, what Brantley Gilbert meant was that the idea of "country" (country music, the country life, hillbillies, rednecks, etc) is country-wide; it spans this great nation and isn't limited to life beneath the Mason-Dixon line. Which is, honestly, true and something to remember, especially for those of who did grow up in the South. 

Anyways, another example of why it's better to just go with standard English and spell words correctly. "Country wide" should be "countrywide" or "country-wide" because that's how it makes sense. Seriously.

[countrycritic-blog]

Little White Church

It's a catchy song, isn't it? But it's a terrible sentiment. I mean, this narrator is ridiculous.

Charming devil, silver tongue Had your fun, now you're done Mama warned me 'bout your games She don't like you anyways No more calling me baby No more loving like crazy No more chicken and gravy I ain't gonna have your baby! Repeat Chorus 1x Take me down to the little white church, take me down, Take me down, take me down to the little white church, take me down, take me down, take me down, take me down to the little white church, take me down to the little white church, take me down to the little white church

Lady. This dude clearly does not like you. And why do you like him? He is probably a liar and a cheat and your mother did warn you about him (trust me, all the times my mom warned me about a guy? Wish I'd listened!). And yet, AND YET, you still want to marry him? Well that's a recipe for divorce if I've ever heard one. 

I'm glad you're not going to have his baby (everyone should practice safe sex and have a reliable method of birth control), but perhaps you should rethink this whole marriage thing. Please. Respect yourself a little and just tell him goodbye. Oh sure, it'll be hard, and you'll want to go back and "just be friends" and that sort of thing, and he'll probably call you up on the phone (see: this song) and try to get you to come over for a movie or something and you'll end up falling for it (and him) again, but BE STRONG.

Well that got maybe a little too personal, but you get the point. This girl needs to move on. Dude is not going to marry her. And she shouldn't want to marry him. Ugh. People these days. Am I right??

[countrycritic-blog]

I Wouldn't Be A Man

Sometimes, it's something little that bothers me about a song. And sometimes it's the entire song. Josh Turner's "I Wouldn't Be A Man" is an example of the latter. Written by  Mike Reid and Rory Michael Bourke, it was originally recorded by Don Williams in the late 80s. Which is where it belongs. I suppose it's asking a lot for country music to embrace alternative ideas of sexuality, but this really isn't that extreme. Here's the chorus:

I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like this I wouldn't be a man if a woman like you Was anything I could resist I'd have to be from another planet Where love doesn't exist I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like this

Ok. In the "reaching for the progressive stars" part of things, not all men are attracted to women. That doesn't make them less manly; it makes them homosexual. Still a man. 

In the "oh come on now" part of things, people have different tastes! Guys I've thought were ugly somehow managed to get lady friends. It's entirely possible that a fellow could look at this woman and resist her. In fact, I bet it happens all the time. Doesn't mean he's from another planet. Just means he's...not attracted to her. 

Then again, I suppose, "I wouldn't be a man who's attracted to women, if I didn't feel like this/ I wouldn't be a heterosexual man who finds you attractive if a woman like you was anything I could resist" just...doesn't work as well. 

Also, does the "anything" bother anyone else? Should it be "anyone"? (Just like in "Gimme That Girl" with "a girl that's beautiful...".) I'm not sure on this one.

[countrycritic-blog]

What Do You Want

You know what? It's Monday. How about a song I DO like?

Nothing less than truth in these lyrics. Written by Jerrod Niemann, Richie Brown, and Rachel Bradshaw, there's nothing mean, misogynistic, or grammatically incorrect in this song. 

AND OK, MAYBE THIS SONG IS KIND OF APROPOS FOR ME RIGHT NOW. Whatever. It's still good.