#grammarmakesitbetter

[countrycritic-blog]

"This Is Country Music"

Written by Brad Paisley and Chris DuBois, "This is Country Music" is an ode to...country music. SURPRISE! It's not bad. I especially like the part at the end where he sings one line from all those other songs. That's fun. But what IS wrong with this song is that, well...he's wrong. 

THIS POST COULD NOT HAVE BEEN WRITTEN WITHOUT ABBY! So thank you, Abby, you're awesome!!

Let's look at the lyrics. 

You're not supposed to say the word cancer in a song. And tellin' folks Jesus is the answer can rub 'em wrong. It ain't hip to sing about tractors, trucks, little towns, and mama, yeah that might be true. But this is country music and we do. Well you like to drink a cold one on the weekend and get a little loud Do you wanna say I'm sorry or I love ya but you don't know how? Do you wish somebody had the nerve to tell that stupid boss of yours to shove it next time he yells at you? Well this is country music and we do So turn it on, turn it up, and sing along This is real; this is your life in a song Yeah this is country music. Are you haunted by the echo of your mother on the phone Cryin' as she tells you that your brother is not coming home? And if there's anyone that still has pride and the memory of those that died defending the old red, white, and blue, This is country music and we do. So turn it on, turn it up, and sing along This is real; this is your life in a song Just like a road that takes you home Yeah this is right where you belong This is country music This is country music He Stopped Lovin' Her Today Hello Darlin' God Bless the USA Amarillo by Morning Stand by your Man Momma tried Take Me Home I Walk the Line Country Boy Can Survive 

Is country music the only genre that sings about cancer, little towns, mama, tractors, trucks, drinking, weekends, getting loud, saying you're sorry or "I love you," telling your boss to shove it (that one was particularly on the nose), or patriotic things? Uh, obviously! 

Also, that should have been, "...those WHO died defending..." (the exact same thing we saw in "Gimme That Girl").

(SO! Which song was your favorite?! Make sure you got them all: The Verve, Kanye, The Wurzels, The Lacs, Fergie, J Lo, Kanye again, Snoop Dogg, Rebecca Black, Black Eyed Peas, OutKast, Olivia Newton-John, Dead Kennedys, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, Metallica, Paper Lace, and Brian Cadd.)

[countrycritic-blog]

Country Must Be Country Wide

I hadn't happened across any songs on the radio that I was ready to write about just yet, and it seemed too lazy to just put up a Toby Keith song and say, "XENOPHOBIA!" and be done with it, so I brought up the Country Top 40 chart. I scrolled down until I saw "Country Must Be Country Wide" and then I stopped. What in the world could this song title mean? 

As it turns out, Brantley Gilbert (or whoever wrote this song; wikipedia is failing me) meant to say that "Country Must Be Countrywide" which actually means something. It took me a few minutes, going through the lyrics, to figure this out. "Country Must Be Country Wide"? I wondered. Does he mean that a country is a unit of measurement? (Sure, it sounds dumb, but as we've already seen, logic isn't always present when people write songs.) No, indeed, what Brantley Gilbert meant was that the idea of "country" (country music, the country life, hillbillies, rednecks, etc) is country-wide; it spans this great nation and isn't limited to life beneath the Mason-Dixon line. Which is, honestly, true and something to remember, especially for those of who did grow up in the South. 

Anyways, another example of why it's better to just go with standard English and spell words correctly. "Country wide" should be "countrywide" or "country-wide" because that's how it makes sense. Seriously.

[countrycritic-blog]

If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

Look. I get that the subjunctive isn't easy to grasp. Heaven knows that, when my adult students at the Centre Sociale in France asked me what I found most frustrating about French, I replied quickly, "The SUBJUNCTIVE!" And they laughed and said no one really uses it anyways. 

In America, it's even worse. I don't think I was ever actually taught the subjunctive mood. But that's no excuse, really. It's one of those things that just sounds better. 

"If I were a rich man, dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah!" (Were there enough dahs in that?)

"If it please the court..."

"Truth be told..."

"I wish it were summer."

Those are all examples of the subjunctive. Another one? "If heaven weren't so far away, I'd go there more often."

And yet here we are, with this song. "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" is sung by Justin Moore and was written by Dallas Davidson, Rob Hatch and Brett Jones. It was originally recorded by Rhett Akins (remember him? "Gimme That Girl" writer?) but didn't chart when he released it. 

Anyways, there's not much of a need to go into the lyrics, because the problem is glaring at us right there, right in the title of the song. Obviously, this sentence needs the subjunctive. Do you know what's worse? The meter would be better with "were." "Wasn't" is clipped into "wadnt" but honestly, "weren't" fits much better into a single syllable. 

So, country songwriters, take note: another example of when proper English actually makes your song BETTER.

[countrycritic-blog]

One More Drinkin Song

I kind of like this song, actually. And also, I guess all the lyric sites (or, ok, the 2 I clicked on) copy and paste from each other, because they have "grove" instead of "groove." That makes me laugh. But this happened:

Today I wanted to write a tune started strummin' this little groove,  I could've wrote about love or money something sad or something funny

I tried it out. He could have written "written" instead of "wrote." But I guess that wouldn't be country enough, huh? Look, Jerrod, you are obviously country. And my ability to conjugate verbs properly in no way prevents me from riding a trail, driving a truck, or drinking beer. Let's look in to some proper English next time, shall we?