milo 🐄🪲 @cowastronaut - Tumblr Blog

spoiler alert: he ended up developing a false sense of security.

i’ve officially been on testosterone for about a month and a half now after knowing it’d probably be apart of my transition journey for like 4-5 years

and it is SO weird! when i seriously started to pursue actually starting it, there was like this weird questioning of whether of not i deserved too, was i trans enough?? what if i got on it and immediately regretted?? what if i’ve actual been faking the whole trans thing this whole time!

and since getting on it like that whole line of questioning has stopped, if anything i feel MORE trans. because like why the fuck do i still look like me. why aren’t major changes happening. why do i still have to wait!!

it’s this weird like purgatory i’m in. while like the subtle changes i’ve experienced (some bottom growth, more hair on my stomach, very light hair growth on my face) are so affirming! but theyre so slight that like. it doesnt feel like a big enough change, i need to pass as a man NOW. or else i die. and i know the changes i want will come with time, and my next appointment in 3 months, i will be upping my dose to the max (i’m on a middose right now, because as stated before there was that whole ‘am i even trans or am i performative’ line). but it’s like not enough, i need it now. and that is my tidbit

#also i used to be like hahaha yeah guys i’m just ‘transmasc’ and i’m not sure when i softlaunch to people…that i do think i’m a trans man..#transman with HELLA internalized transphobia #thats like the whole ‘transmasc’ labeling i’ve done is like.. well i’ll never be a real man sooo #but yeah. really weird experience all these things i thought about myself for years were real????#i WASNT just LARPING??!! being trans what!!#anyways #thank you no contact with my parents #thank you i saw the tv glow #there is still time!!!!!!!#ALSO THANK U STAG DANCE AND TORI PETERS. you are genuis #and describe transness as something so gruesome and gross and it speaks so deeply to me

brellstudiosart

the obligatory trolley problem post

i will be dragging my partner to watch PHM with me, and i NEED to see that film a second time.

but i fear nothing will beat my first watch. the friend i saw it with not only had seen the movie twice beforehand but also had read the book.

so when i was watching it, i really thought once rocky broke out of his bubble thing to save grace he was dead, and i turned to her with tears in my eyes and go ‘You sick bastard’ just for her to giggle at me! and i fear nothing will top that cinematic experience for me

#dude i put off going to see it because i was like ‘it cant be thattt good’ just for it to be THAT good #I WANNA GRADUATE COLLEGE!! I JUST WANNA GO TO THE CINEMAS EVERYDAY #project hail mary might be the first dvd i start collecting beca #wahhhhh i wanna go see it again what do u mean im busy til may :((((((((((#project hail mary

rovermcfly

rocky's crew dying from radiation exposure, something humans go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of and ryland's crew dying in their "sleep" with nobody watching, something eridians go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of. cool book that is easy to read through your tears.

#ow.