crap doodles of a sewingyoukai

just a place for me to dump doodles and shit cause i want someplace to do that

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Tells a person about ish a time to hangout is good, gets ready in time for that to happen, person and hour later "I'm heading out soon"

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Random quick life update, my life is still shit, but at least my new job hasn’t been, and everyone so far seems fine with my dark humor and will make the same kinda jokes with me, like yesterday seemed to be me pulling knives and a crossbow outta the donation bins and a taser that works cause hadda try it, so they were like “should we be worried here?” So yeah. Job is shipping for an donation/thrift store and the store I’m working at just started doing online listing for their bidding website. I got trained on kinda everything, so taking photos of items, listing them as well as sorting threw donations, but I’m mostly shipping, so I have me own little world in the back of the place for now. Also it’s just nice having a job that I don’t want to shoot myself in the face instead of going to, I like going to work and it’s fun seeing what gets donated (like the porn book of big dicks that the whole back area passed around). So yup, least I get to spend 8 hours every mon threw fri at a place I don’t mind being at. Also sorry for lack of anything, adjusting to new job and still trying to claw my way out of burn out hell (sadly with no luck) has made it hard to make or do anything, let alone be online.

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Not gonna hold my breath on this, but if this new job sticks I'm gonna try working on getting out of this shithole. Again not gonna hold my breath with all the shit going on, but atleast I can work on actually setting money aside again, which I haven't been able to do since working at joanns

[the-big-mood]

Manage your very own video store in the early 90s! Rent, sell, decorate and expand your business from the ground up and relive the golden ag

[throwbackblr]

[ruinedchildhood]

[jacensolodjo]

There's also Bookshop Simulator!

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Fabrics for pj pants and probably a pillow case for the yard piece

Pillow case kits

Minky!

Mini squares and a quilt kit

These I got cause I loved them, an yes that's a toilet paper roll one

Some Halloween and Xmas fabrics for my stashes, hoping to make those cute tree gift bags with the xmas stuff

Some more cute stuff for stash

Halloween panels

Sadly I wasn't sure if it was ohk to take photos of the quilts on display.

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

My dumb ass spent over 1000 bucks on fabric, but I did manage to find 108 wide minky fabric, and two more fabrics for making pj pants for a friend, as well as fabrics to make chunky boy pikachu. So yeah.

Now to just be able to actually sew without having to deal with the fucken noise and it’s fucken tv, cause god fucken forbid you don't have it turned up as loud as possible, than throw a bitch fit when asked to turn it down

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Kinda wishing I could go to sakuracon cause artists I follow and love will be there and I would love to throw money at them (yes I know I can buy from their online stores), but I don't have the money (still fucken jobless) and I don't have the means to go across the state (I can walk over to fucken Idaho, so no not everyone who lives in fucken Washington state is in Seattle, sorry). Yes theres the train, but it leaves here at 2 in the fucken morning, which means I either pay for a uber to drive across fucken town, leave my car downtown for three to four days (which it'll either be stolen or towed, than I'm fucken cause no car), or find someone to drive me, which I don't have anyone who gives enough of a fucken shit to do that, and no buses aren't a thing cause they stop running after like 10pm and they don't come anywhere near state line...anywho's rant over, I'll probably kill this off after the weekend or a few days fucken if I know, I'm tired and still spiraling to shit with no means of an end since I'm trapped in a fucken hell.

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

I don't know why I'm even trying to live, there's no reason to

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Why the fuck are all the jobs on job sites right now nursing jobs? I have no experience or want to do that kinda job, how bout trying treating them better than shit?

I just want a steady job that doesn't make me want to kill myself every waking moment, is that too much to fucken ask for?

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Caved and got an iPad mini (mainly cause I have some digital copies of movies from iTunes) so I can take it with to cons an stuff, but also maybe try drawing on it, and I don't have money to pay for monthly things sadly so most the nice drawing apps are out, but I don't know what free ones are good (like have layer options) so yeah....I dunno...

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Just some sketches, not the best but whateve

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

Today's fuck my life is, getting screamed and food thrown at me for just waking up and walking to the kitchen, didn't even say or do anything, was just gonna wait till they were done and out of the way, but no they hadda throw a fit cuase I was just there.

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

I'm at my wits end, every job "opportunity" that pops up ends up being either a dead fucken end or as soon as I get time to sit down and fill out the application it's gone. I hate this so fucken much, I hate this fucken job, I hate this shit hole "home" and I hate living the life of a piece of shit no one fucken wants. I really am just ready to end it all

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

So work just hired someone and everyone is telling me that this is their first ever retail job, yet they keep telling me that they’ve worked for JoAnns, which is a retail job? Like I don’t understand here, if you’ve worked retail at any point in your fucken life it’s really kinda stupid easy to just fucken fall back into even after years of not doing so (yes new computer shit and reg shit to learn, but truthfully it’s all pretty much the fucken same), so yeah I’m just don’t know...I’m so over this job and it’s fucken bullshit of trying to be party city, joanns, michaels and a homes good store now? And their shit fucken talk about how much money the company is making and they still can’t give us hours and better pay? Idk, maybe I’m just overly tired from working a closing shift last night than a seven am one today, and this is just day four of my eight day work week.

And yes I’m trying to find something anything else, but the job market where I’m stuck is mostly retail and factory stuff, and to get a factory job you eithet have to know someone with the power to hire or fuck someone. I hate my life so god damn much and is so close to just putting and end to it

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

It really hurts and is a huge ass slap in the face when my manager gives a part time associate more hours than me the part time fucken manager, like why the hell are they getting 25 hours for the week and I have 17 hours and working three fucken days? Like shit bitch just tell me you think I’m fucken worthless

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

The longer I’m alive the emptier I become.

I hardly feel much of anything any more, nothing excites me, nothing seems to bring me any sense of joy or anything for that matter, I’m just empty and tired and needing to never wake up again

[crapdoodlesofasewingyoukai]

I want to be creative and be able to do the things I like doing to just do, but I'm so exhausted and tired that doing everyday things are hard as shit to do. It's even harder to do when I have a shit job with no set hours and the fact that it doesn't pay enough for me to even live, I even have tried looking for a new job, but I'm just so tired that I can't even do that.