Craw Me A River

Official blog of the Messenger of the Court of Craws, now (mostly) recovered from the silk plague which had gripped them

[craw-messenger-official]

CRRRRAW! CRRRRAW!

CAW! Apologies for my prolonged absence… I am happy to be back to my Messenger duties! I… I know there was nothing I could have done about that Nosk that came to this account when I was comatose, but I hope I am able to make up for it somehow.

Bugs of Pharloomblr, I am your humble messenger. If you have had prior dealings with the Court of Craws, we have likely met before. If not, I am pleased to meet your acquaintance now.

Who am I? This craw goes by the name of Maven. But who I am is unimportant. I am a messenger first, a craw second. Many craws serve the Court and Crawfather; I am merely one among them.

CRAW! Did you have a message for me? Or did you merely wish to converse?

OOC: This is an rp blog for Maven the Messagecraw run by @30trillioncellsinatrenchcoat. The Craw is… well ill is perhaps not the correct word here, but certainly unable to respond for the time being; although asks are still open.

OOC posts will simply be tagged “ooc craw messenger” for simplicity’s sake. Posts from me will be tagged “musings of the messenger”; asks and rp interactions as “taking a message”. I also tend to include tags with the names of any characters I'm interacting with, as well as tags for various arc names; pretty self-explanatory.

The current arc is {wings bound in silken ties}

Rules:

Respect all characters pronouns; Maven uses any but will not tolerate misgendering of any other Pharloomblr denizens.

Interactions with other RP blogs are welcome! (It’s kinda the whole reason this was created in the first place after all)

Asks are always open, I don’t get many but am often busy with other things so I’ll respond as soon as I can! It just might be a bit.

Open to longer story arcs! Many blogs tend to avoid them but feel free to start longer lore arcs (just please ask before you do anything massive or character-altering like Infecting them or something similar)

Nothing NSFW!

This blog WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS for Silksong, including Act 3. Block if need be!

[craw-messenger-official]

(You are now

GREEN

Mwahahaha!!!!)

GET GREENED IDIOT WMAMANWAAAA

-The Anon who Greeens

What? What are you talking about? I don't... huh?

How did you

What did you

HUH?!?

CAW?!? CAW?!?!??!

[ask-goal-thewatch]

Y'all aren't green by default?

[craw-messenger-official]

I mean it’s

It’s not like they call it Greenmoor?

[craw-messenger-official]

(You are now

GREEN

Mwahahaha!!!!)

GET GREENED IDIOT WMAMANWAAAA

-The Anon who Greeens

What? What are you talking about? I don't... huh?

How did you

What did you

HUH?!?

CAW?!? CAW?!?!??!

[craw-messenger-official]

CAW! CAW! Congraduations to the latest graduating class of Harbird Law School! Our selection of prosecutors is now better, more just, and readier to go along with whatever the Crawfather says than ever!

[craw-messenger-official]

I know I know, we get this question every year. Yes, it is pride month (finally!) and no, you are not exempted from your craw summons during pride month, no matter how gay you are. Be Gay, Do Crimes, but don’t forget the third part, Be Held Accountable For Your Actions!

[craw-messenger-official]

Reasons To Hate The Citadel Number One Billion: they literally paved their transit ways in shinies but everyone gets mad about “structural integrity” or something stupid like that when I try to take it

[craw-messenger-official]

*offers you a bunch of craw nesting materials* :D

CAW! My thanks! My thanks!

*the Craw is very pleased as they get to work improving their nest*

[craw-messenger-official]

🫪

BLAGH!

<the Craw is startled and quickly flaps away>

[craw-messenger-official]

I wonder… what is the justice system of Hallownest? What fine institutions does our neighboring kingdom utilize to rightfully punish wrongdoers? Does someone on here know?

[craw-messenger-official]

You. Send a message to... everyone except the steelwyrm. There will be a wedding at Fleatopia. All are welcome. And if there is any violence, Pablo will personally remove the offenders limbs.

Does Pablo owe the messenger for their services?

CAW! CAW! A wedding! A wedding at Fleatopia! Come and witness the joyful union! All are welcome, but violence will be punished justly! Cone and join the celebration upon this wonderful day!

Steelwyrm, this message does not concern you. Move along.

Pablo, my services shall be cheap. Shall we say 25 rosaries?

[craw-messenger-official]

give you 9,999,999 Geo,101 Rancid Eggs,6 Pale Ore,14 Wanderer's Journals,17 Hallownest Seals,8 King's Idols and 4 Arcane Eggs

<Sadly, the Craw was crushed to death under the weight of obscene quantities of goods>

<Fortunately, this was not canon.>

[craw-messenger-official]

are crawlids from hallownest a type of craw

they have "craw" in the name 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Oh! CAW! CAW! If they are called Craw then surely they must be Craw! Some distant cousin in a far-off kingdom! How exciting! I need to see…

…

Erm.

Perhaps names aren’t everything?

[craw-messenger-official]

LOCAL CRAW DECIDES TO STRUCTURE SINGLE POST AS NEWS HEADLINE FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BRIEFLY SCARING SIMILAR CRAW NEWS OUTLETS

@craw-mailbox-official @craw-boy-news

[craw-messenger-official]

*dumps a carton of apple juice onto you*

you DRENCH the Craw? You pour apple juice onto their body like a cup? Caw! Caw! Jail for anonymous! Jail for anonymous for One Thousand Years!!!!

[craw-messenger-official]

Well now that @craw-boy-news and @craw-mailbox-official have brought their news to pharloomblr, it seems there’s a bit of a craw news feud taking place! Now, this poses a problem for me, because when I’m called upon to deliver a Craw Summons to an important victim - CAWgh - defendant, through which news blog am I to spread the word that some important fellow is soon to meet their end, that is to say, be justly tried?

Well, I certainly hope one of them makes me some kind of offer soon… I take just about any bribes… nudge nudge…

Ooc: unless I’ve misread this situation entirely, in which case just ignore this lol

[craw-mailbox-official]

Two Of Our Competitors Remain Inactive For a Day

ooc: @craw-boy-news @craw-messenger-official i liked you guys but don't tell anyone i said that

[craw-messenger-official]

CAW! I’ve been busy, ok? Busy doing, um, important stuff! Like weeding out the lifeblood from Craw Lake! Definitely that! Definitely wasn’t stuck in a box, no!

[craw-messenger-official]

🪤

🪤🐦‍⬛

Ooo, what is this?

<thud>

<muffled shrieks and caws>