My Crazy Little Universe

writing my thoughts and feelings. It's 2021 and Im still kinda lost and sealed in a box floating in the sea. No, Im not gonna change my blogs name after 6 years since the last time I opened it-- still, my life is crazy. 

[crazylittleuniverse15]

Beautiful Goodbye

Hi!

I think its time for me to finally say bye. I take your queue blocking me in social media as permanently deleting me in your life. ano nga ba naman ang significant ko di ba?

im happy you are engaged and finally found the one for you. you deserve all the joy and love in the world.

its me. im the problem. i will never be good enough for you. you're successful, im not. you have a good family and financially stable. my family isnt. hindi ko kaya pantayan kayo. but im glad you found her. better than me of course. as far as my stalking skills go. she came from a good and wealthy family too. deserve nyo isat isa. Same course, same company, same vibe. perfect match.

its a sweet and beautiful 17 years of knowing you. im happy na ikaw ang naging puppy love ko at laman ng buong diary ko. i guess there are a lot of unspoken words. 17 years and counting na rin sakin ang pillow na binigay mo as first gift.

my sumpa siguro ang pag pilas ng picture. we were in high school back then, i was teased because your picture fell off my wallet. i dont like to be teased. so i teared it apart. bata pa and immature. if i knew that it will bring no good, hindi ko na sana pinilas. anyway, i still have scrapbook full of your pictures. i print our pictures especially nung mga bday celebration mo. i kept your sweet messages sa old phone but di ko na ma recover coz i cant open that phone anymore.

im sorry, i was vulnerable and scared when i was in macau. my relationship after jas. wasnt supposed to happened. i lied to you when i told you nung umuwi ako at makikipag kita sa dad ko. in fact, i made it as an excuse because i was scared of my ex. its a long story. he punched a wall when he found out that i will meet you. so binantayan nya kada lakad ko. i was scared that he will do something when i came back.

macau was a mess. i was coming back to Philippines to see you but peer pressured me to get into marriage. there's a lot of things happened that nobody knows about. i kept everything to myself until to this day. ive been wanting to speak with your mom but i just couldnt.

past will not change whats in the present and in the future. but know that im always proud and happy. youve grown into a responsible, fine man that any woman is lucky to have in their life. i've seen you even if its just online, how happy you are with her and how all of you are living comfortably and happy. Nanay must be super proud of you too.

take care of her, yourself and the life both of you will have. i wish you all the best and happiness in the world.

To your mom,

Hi Mommy! thank you for everything you have done for me and my mom. Thank you for making me feel welcome in your family. You've always treated me as part of your family. Please know that you will always be my 2nd mom and know that I loved your son wholeheartedly and will always have special place in my heart. I thank God that I was able to meet you all.

i cant remember how many times i shed tears because of him. and i dont know if these tears now are a happy tear or a brokenhearted tears. im sorry for all the trouble i caused. and for any mistakes i have made. Im sorry i wasnt brave enough to speak with you the truth.

This feelings of mine should be buried in the ground. i dont deserve anyone.

xoxo

Tasha

[crazylittleuniverse15]

I want to talk to you and ask you, when did you stop loving me? when did you realize that you no longer want me to be part of your life? i wanted to reach out to you and talk to you and ask how have you been? maybe when i hear it from you, i can finally close the chapter. we never got closure. i know-- not having closure is a closure but for me it isnt.

are you happy? what does she have that i dont? what went wrong?

have you ever seen my posts in tumblr? why did you deactivate all of the sudden? what was your reaction?

i might be crazy writing this at 5:05AM. I wonder if our paths will ever cross again in familiar places thats why i keep coming back. maybe if i see you happy, that could be closure for me. i really wanted to reach out to you but there is no means.

im sure you are happy right now.

[crazylittleuniverse15]

Alternate Universe

In the alternate universe, it could’ve been us together. Dreaming, dancing, laughing, drinking together. It could be us from the very beginning we met each other.

I have to admit, I always dream of being with you. Wondering how is it like to be with the man I have loved first, the man who makes my heart beats so fast, the one who gave me butterflies. I wonder how it feels to be loved by you. To hold your hands while walking, to sleep on your shoulders when i get tired. I ask why US didn’t happen? Maybe its in the alternate universe and not in this reality.

i have always love you, you will always be my first love never dies. Sometimes, I wanted to try if us will work. I just want to feel you. I just want us to happen like what i wrote in mg diary. I always remember writing down, “hindi ako mag boboyfriend if hindi ikaw” but look where i am right now, where you are right now. Us will never happen anymore.

maybe its fate, its destiny. We are meant to know each other but never to be together. Our stars crossed but never met. It never aligned, it will never be.

Something happened in the past that never got ended for me, at least. The chapter was never close. And so sometimes, i wanted to write it and finish what we have started. It’s like a missing page was torn apart and was never read in the first place. We were almost there— but it had paused and never played. I wonder what it could be?

i have to write all of these to get out of my system. And if I die, i wanted you to know about this. You told me I was the one who got away. I will never forget that. Coz you are too. Things happened so fast that again, us didnt happened. Im so devastated.

on the other thought, i felt like i cant fit in your family anymore. All of you have great source of income, can spend thousands over a weekend, and i dont have it. All of you likes sports, i dont. You all like drinking on friday night, i dont. All of you can buy expensive items, i can but i wont. Just thinking about this makes me feel left out or me trying to squeeze in just like a can of tuna. Its like our world is very opposite. Ita gonna feel like i have to level up my gaming so i can stand as one with you all. Haaay. I dont know. I mean i know all of you since i was in grade 6. But again, things changed, people changed. A lot of things can happen in a year.

if i leave this earth, know that you will always be my first love and it will never die. I have always always love and wanted you.

As I write this, im also happy that maybe you have found the one for you. I can see your eyes happy and contended. I can see both of you are legal in both sides. I think she’s great. I think she will take care of you.

til we see each other in the alternate universe, Poy.

p.s: it breaks my heart when i found out you’re getting married next year. But its just me— one sided feeling. Did you ever wanted to be with me in the first place? Or it was never me? Or it just me who’s dreaming and thinking about you and us. I know what i feel right now is wrong in all aspects. But there’s a pinch in my heart. I dont think this ache will fade away even if we both grow old and have white hair coz you will always have a place in my heart and i cant throw it away.

[crazylittleuniverse15]

What its like to start having your own family while being the breadwinner

It sucks. TOTALLY SUCKS!

Im married and pregnant for 14 weeks. And im starting to have my own family. Idk if i can be happy. Its hard when you support your parents and siblings. Ayoko na. Pagod na ako. Mentally.

Paano sila pag nawala na ako?

gusto ko lang naman mag start ng pamilya at ibuhos obligation ko sa kanila.

Pagod na ako. Pagod na pagod na ako. Simula nag trabaho ako, hindi naman ako tumigil tumulong sa kanila.

pero im growing old. I want my own life. And its exhausting to this point.

lahat naman gingawa ko pero bakit parang maling mali na tumigil ako mag ibang bansa?

when people ask me if im okay, i want to say Im not.

im not okay anymore. I dont have to have depression coz there’s a human being growing inside of me. And i dont this feeling affect my child.

so its so hard to keep all this to myself.

lahat ng pangangailangan nila, sakin. Naisip plba nila, my sarili akong buhay? My mga pangarap ako sa buhay ko at mga plano na gustong tuparin pero hindi ko magawa kasi ang daming umaasa sakin.

Pang-kain ng mga kapatid ko sakin. Pag my sakit anak nila, sakin, kapag kulang pera sakin. Lahat sakin. Paano na lang ako? Kasalanan ko ba? Bakit parang pasan pasan ko pati problema nila? Matatanda na sila.

Nakulong kapatid ko, sakin pa din. Nakaka awa pero kasi hindi ko naman kasalanan. Pero sakin kumukuha ng gagamiting pera. Ni hindi mag hanap buhay.

so? Paano na lang ako kapag lumabas na tong anak ko sa mundong to? Paano ko mabibigay ng maayos na buhay kung my ibang tao pa kong binubuhay?

PAGOD NA AKO. GUSTO KO NA LANG MAWALA MINSAN TAPOS KUNIN NYO NA LANG PERA KO SA INSURANCE. PAG HATI HATIAN NYO NA LANG YON.

[crazylittleuniverse15]

mahal kita :*

There will always a space in my heart saying those words too.

[crazylittleuniverse15]

August 2, 2021

I went to Studio City after duty to unwind. This wasn’t on my plan nor on my to-dos. Today, I felt jealous and frustrated. How could my man stands 5 hours drinking sesh with our girl housemate? While im lying in our bedroom and cannot sleep. I could hear them laughing and murmuring. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. All I hear was like bees. I thought he would notice that IM WIDE AWAKE. But no, he didn’t. Still, he went down our apartment and bought some more beers and snacks to share. How come?? And tell you what, he is the one who initiated the shot. I was the last one he told. How come he could invite knowing im morning shift the next day? How many times I mentioned to him that i am morning shift? Yet, he continued and lasted for 5 hours. They finished when my alarm went on. They knew they had to stop because I will be “awake” by then. Who knows when the time comes that they will fall for each other? I hate how much unsecured I feel with him. Nothing is so certain like this pandemic. And I told him but his response was “it’s nothing” yeah, maybeeee for you it was nothing. But for me? It is something. Make a wall between the two of you. Respect me as your other half. I am not tightening my belt but you should know your boundaries.

[crazylittleuniverse15]

So I drunk this Iced Mocha yesterday and im blaming it for making me awake 36 hours and counting. I dont feel sleepy even if i took 2 cups of jasmine tea had a decent 1 hour foot massage with free 10 minutes upper body massage. I never felt of craving for sleep this much. I scream for sleep. No matter what I do, even if i close my eyes and try to meditate, still, my body’s full awake. I just want to sleep early tonight because I have passport appointment tomorrow morning. I don’t want to make puyat again and put more bags under my eyes. Bruh, let me sleeeeeeeppppp!!! Im so much alive that I feel dead on the inside.

[crazylittleuniverse15]

July 29, 2021

It’s been 2 years and 4 months since I had my first heart break. I have been with him for almost 7 years. What did people said when two people reached 7 years being in relationship? Oh yea, it is 7-year itched where 2 people starting to feel nothing and stagnant and become irritant to each other or whatsoever it’s the year when they are stating to fall out. We didn’t reached that-- Almost, few more months and we could’ve reached that moment. 

I should have done this before; writing here. But only today that tumblr crossed my mind. Only today that I remember I can write again here and express myself. Well, most of my thoughts and feelings are in my diary. It’s not getting old. I still love writing them on my notebook. So someday, I have something to read and reminisce. 

Today, I stalked. Again. Her. The woman he’s in love with. The woman who stole his heart and attention from me. The woman who makes her happy now. The woman who sits on passenger’s seat, the woman who he travels with and starting to fulfill his dreams. 

For 2 years and 4 months, never I ever stopped looking into her twitter to see an update about him or them. I wanted to know what makes him fall in love with her. I wanna see him. I know you will say at this point that I should have stopped looking so I wont get hurt. But it is not easy being said. I loved him more than anything. I loved him will all my heart. He is my greatest love and no one could ever replaced that. It’s like there’s a place in my heart that only him could fill. It breaks my heart how I saw on her tweet that they are starting to save money for their future house. I shouldn’t be hurt because we are no longer together. I shouldn’t look into their profile because it is totally none of my business. It breaks my heart how much he spoils him in every little way just like what he did to me but at the same time it makes me happy. Because I can see how much he loves her to do those things. I saw how much he changed. They’ve been wearing couple shoes, shirts etc. He’s giving her bouquet of flowers and sending it to her house. He is visiting her in her hometown and checking in to hotel like Okada. I don't know how much influence she made. But I sense a changed person in him through photos. 

She must have been lucky to have him; and I am 100% sure that no matter what happened, She wont let him go. I know Jasper from in and out. And I know his capabilities. I know he can take care of her and her son. I know he can be a great dad to him. He accepted her with whatever happened to her in the past. So no matter what the future holds, I know he will be there. It just hurt so much that you can imagine-- seeing all these, thinking that no matter what, we will no longer be together-- again. That he is totally over me, that he is deeply in love with her. So much pain I am feeling right now. So much that I wanna talk to him once more. I wanna feel him again physically. I wanna see him. I wanted to go back to the time that I wish it didn’t happen at all. I wanna go back to the time that I wish I turn into blind-eye and just let it passed. Too late. It ended 2 years and 4 months ago.

[100wordsneversaid]

[crazylittleuniverse15]

Today (nov.4)

Happy birthday baby! I love you. Haha. Kala ko pag ginawa kong japanese tapos pag binago babalik sa dati, di pala, message ko yun sayo eh. Hhhahah L by the way, di ko na tanda lahat yun. Huhhu

Gusto ko lang, maging healthy ka lagi. Tsaka mag-iigat po lagi ha? Tapos ayun. Pray lagikay Lord. And thank you ng madami . thank you for everything. Sana magustuhan mo yung video. Tapos ayun. Binati na kita sa personal, tas ayun. Last part ng gift ko sayo toh. Sana magustuhan mo talaga. (ang inet sa comshop. Err) tapos, heheh. Wala na ko masabi, nalimot ko huhu. :’(

Super bait ni Lord. Pinakilala ka nya sakin. :”>

The first time we talk, parang ang tagal na nating magkakilala. :”> ang gaan agad ng loob ko sayo. Napapakita ko kung ano talaga ako. :”>

Ayun I love you!!! :”>

“There comes a point when you just love someone, not because they're good, bad, or anything really. You just love them the way they are..” ß This. :”>

“Your smile is contagious, no matter how angry or sad I am, all I need is to take one look at your smile and everything seem a little better.” ß this one again. Kaya kahit magtampu-tampuhan ako sayo, di ko matiis , pano pag tumitingin ako sayo, nangingiti ako :”> ikaw na cute (pagbgyan birthday eh. HAHAHA )

  “Everytime I think of you, I get the biggest smile on my face and you still don't understand how much you mean to me.”

  Tanjoubi omedetou jas-kun!! Koishiteru" (to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with)

Happy Birthdaaaay!! I love you!

  Spell LOVE? J-A-S

Saying ILOVEYOU

Is not the words I want to hear from you  It's not that I want you  Not to say, but if you only knew  How easy it would be to show me how you feel  More than words is all you have to do to make it real  Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me  'Cause I'd already know 

--> hhuhu wala ako ngayon sa tabi nya. di nya ko kasama so, gumawa ako ng way. duh, technology is you know HAHAHAHA. 

bngyan ko sya ng gift na damit sa penshoppe which is sya pumili pati yung 11:55 na cologne sa oxygen HAHAHAH adik ko noh? kunwari kay kuya ko HHAHAHA

Tapos nag alarm ako ng 11:57 para i greet sya ng 12:00 ang korni. yung msg ko kasi nasa memo tapos my send via dun. so send via sms, eh 7 pesos un. naging mms, ahaha di nagsend agad so i have to chopchop hahaha. gasing pala siya nun. nag-aantay ng text ko. 

today, i made a video. :"> tapos gumwa ng letter sa word doc, gnwa kong wedwings ba yun? kala ko pag inopen tas gnawang arial, mababago di pala. TT_TT so inulit ko. K. ang ganda pa naman nung una. hahaha

tas ayun hahah kunwari pa check ng grammar . XDD

sira kasi yung PC sa bahay, kung hindi sira yun, malamang, mas maganda pa yung video na ngwa ko. :(( 

ang inet sa comshop. naulan pa haahah 

HAAAAAPPY KAARAWAAAAAN! I LURVE YOW. :p

[aysayako]

[s-e-l-f-murder]

[crazylittleuniverse15]

i don't understand you

</3. 

HI! i really dont understand you. or should i say, i really dont understand whats happening. Well, hindi ko alam kung masasaktan ako sa nakita ko. Hindi ko din naman ineexpect na makita pangalan mo dun. </3. bat ganun? ;(

BAKIT YUNG PINSAN KO NA MINSAN MO LANG NAKILALA, NAGAWA MONG BATIIN, PERO AKO HINDI MO NABATI/BINATI?! KINALIMUTAN MO NA BA KAARAWAN KO? O NALIMUTAN MO LANG?! IS IT BECAUSE FACEBOOK DIDNT REMIND YOU?

hindi ko alam :'(

Life is UNFAIR. YOU ARE UNFAIR. 

may nagawa ba kong hindi maganda?! bakit ganun?! bakit ka ganyan? 

nung chineck ko profile ng pinsan ko, nakita ko name mo, binati mo sya. nauna lang birthday nya sakin ng anim na araw. pero BAKIT AKO? HINDI MO BINATI?! BUTI PA TITA MO, NABATI AKO. 

nag expect ako, nag expect ako ng mga 25% na babatiin mo ko. THAT 25% MATTERS. </3.

we havent talk yet since the day that we met. That's the sad part. AND UNTIL NOW, HINDI MO PA DIN AKO KINAKAUSAP! whats wrong with you?! 

hindi ko alam kung nasasaktan ako. pero nung nakita ko pangalan nya sa wall ng pinsan ko, parang nanghina ako bigla. at napagisip ko gumawa ng blog. gusto ko sabhin lahat sayo toh. as in lahat. gusto ko mabasa mo toh. but never it will never happen. 

NAHIHIYA NA KO SA PAMILYA MO. totoo yun. i dont feel comfortable. hindi ko alam kung bakit pero, TT_TT i feel sorry for them. nabigo ko sila. TT_TT </3. NAHIHIYA PA KO LALO KASI MAYAMAN KAYO. KAMI MAHIRAP LANG. but i thank your family for being such a good friend. they never forget me. :)))

TIME WILL TELL. sinasadya ko ba ma fall out? eh hindi nga tayo nag-uusap. kahit man lang chat eh lalo naman sa personal. OO NOON ACTIVE TAYO. TEXTMATE TAYO, CHATMATE TAYO, SABAY PA TAYO MAG MASS. noon yun. IKAW RIN NAMAN EH. U LIED. na akala ko hindi mo gagawin un. I TRUSTED YOU. BUT YOU BROKE IT. nagkaroon ka din ng Girlfriend. Kahit hindi mo sabhin. Obvious. Hindi naman ako nag stalk . it just appeared. balita lumapit sakin.

naiilang ako pag nakikita ka. kinakabahan ako everytime na pupunta ako sa bahay nyo. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. matagal na tayo magkakilala BUT WE NEVER HAD CONVERSATION. and that's sucks you know? EVEN THOUGH IM THE ONE WHO STARTED THE CONVERSATION, NOTHING HAPPENED. 

hindi ko alam nangyari sayo pero huhu. PLEASE BRING BACK THE OLD YOU. 

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

[athnamrie-deactivated20121022]

Hehehe. Namimiss ko lang si Rj! Si Rj na singkit na nakakaalam ng mga sikreto ko na nakakaiyak nakakalungkot nakakasakit nakakakilig nakakatuwa HA HA HA HOTDOG! Tapos ngayon napakalayo nya na sakin like ohmahygahd. Laguna tapos Parañaque. Di ko ma-reach! Magtetext siya tapos GM lang! Lagi ko nga...

[crazylittleuniverse15]

OO NGA. TT_TT 

samin din wala. haaay.

Namimiss ko na sila. di naman nagpaparamdam si bebehar. :(( si rj gmz lang huhu :(( 

miss ko na galileo

[crazylittleuniverse15]

I have a friend. i told him. "nadala na ko. ayoko na. takot na ko. baka maulit ang nangyari."

Sabi niya. "Hindi naman dapat kinatatakutan ang love eh. "

Ako "eh kasi eh. alam mo naman yung nangyari di ba? So yun"

Siya " tiwala lang. hindi un mangyayari. "

SANA TALAGA. Sana eto na un. 

Turn on " those who are patiently waiting."

[tongueena]

Sammy

yii. XD. yan tawag nila saken. napalitan na. HAHAHAAHHA. parang dati, si chaii lang tumatawag niyan sakin.. ngayon sila pauli na <3 si allicah kase pauso eh. AHAHHA loka talaga yung babaeng yon <33

[crazylittleuniverse15]

From my Private blog

HI AKO SI PATRICIA you can call me Chaii|Pat|Chuchay|Trisha|Ysha. Sa unang tingin akala nila sakin masungit o suplada ko (ewan ko din bakit eh muka ba?) yun kasi karamihang sinasabi ng friends ko when we talked about FIRST IMPRESSION. Well, I don't Care naman eh. :) alam ko kasing di ako ganun. Coz when we bond im madaldal and im not Snobbish girl as what their first impression. HAHAHAHA.

Mabait ako sa lahat ng tao. Hindi ako marunong magalit. Siguro mainis lang, Oo lalo na kapag alam kong ayaw akong paniwalaan kahit alam ko ako yung tama. :)) Friendly ako. Im trying my best na maging socialite especially im taking up Tourism Management. (Duh, sabi nila, kelangan marunong ka makipag- Socialize sa tao) Mahiyain kasi akong tao.(dati) HAHAHAH ako kasi yung tipong pag di mo kinausap, di rin kita kakausapin. HAHAHA. ganun. But when i got into Junior Life in High School, Ayun, untin unti ko na nare-realize na kelangan maging Friendly ako at marunong makipag socialize. Well, Natuto naman ako eh. :)) saya di ba? Andami ko naging friends nung 3rd ako, mga lower years. =)) ang saya lang. Hindi din ako madamot. i love to share what i have, what God has given me. di ba nga share your blessings? so yun. My parents thought me that way. 

i love funny people. i love those people who makes me laugh till i cry. gusto ko kasi Happiness. ayoko ng sadness though I know not all the times happiness will come, there's always sadness contrary to all someone's happiness. i want to bring joy to others. it makes me feel so good. kahit papaano kasi, i want to help my friends. gusto ko kahit minsan sa kanilang buhay napatawa ko sila o di kaya'y napasaya ko sila. I love eating (oh well, sino bang my ayaw?) HAAHHA gusto ko ng chibog HAHAHA. gusto ko deserts. ♥ like ice cream specifically vanilla and cookies and cream im not fan of Chocolate flavors but I do love Chocolates except for those which has a nuts and almonds. Cakes, of course but im more on Red Ribbon Cakes. HHHAAHA ♥ i love surprises (who wouldn't want?) natutuwa lang ako pag sinu-surprise ako. kahit na maliit at mababaw na surprise lang, i easily get happy. I easily get turn-off with a guy.

After my HS life, syempre another Chapter to begin. After din ng HS life ay ang first heart-ache . (Ouch! ) Di ko rin yun ineexpect. We both waited naman eh. Kaya lang He gave up. (di sya loyal) HAAHA. hindi ko din masasabi na naging kami. or what. "It's Complicated" nga daw eh.  Siguro, ang hindi namin napagkasunduan ay ang Public Display of affection. Well, for him, Hindi ako proud sa kanya kasi ayaw ko i hold yung hands nya in front of others. Especially kung nasa tagsay kami. (Hello, ang liit liit lang kaya ng school. makikilala agad kayo) Oo, ayoko. kasi alam ko hindi tama. hindi naman kami para gawin yun. at ayoko din nung inaakbayan nya ako or when he put his hands around my waist. lol. As if naman na kami pag ginawa yun di ba? and another thing, im not into PDA. Mas ok ako na walang ganun if i will have relationship. Mas ok ako na kasama ko lang yung taong yun(whoever will be), i'll be happy na with that. For me, Hindi naman nasusukat sa PDA yung Love mo sa isang tao. kung proud ka sa kanya or what. Simple mas maganda =). Time will come siguro para sa mga ganun. Sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, after netong kay HS, ayoko na muna ma involve sa gantong situation. lalo na kung magiging complicated. at gusto ko makahanap ng taong kaya akong ligawan ng totoo at handang maghintay ng apat na taon para lang sa isang salita. Sana hindi na manyari sakin to pag dating ng College. Gusto ko ng Sincere na ligaw. yung totoo talaga. :)) hindi lang puro salita. Words can be broken. words can be forgotten. Ayoko din dinadaan sa chat or text. Remember, Text or chat can be deleted. alam ko din mahirap manligaw sa side ng mga boys, Well, sabi nga nila, kung gusto mo talaga, You will find ways. madaming paraan naman eh. :)) Kung mahal mo, ready ka mag sacrifice. Mas gusto ko sa future yung bang, Kilalanin ko muna yung tao. friends muna. hanggang sa maging close. yung ganun. gusto ko magkakilala muna kami ng mabuti. Hindi naman ako mahirap mahalin. hindi din ako choosy. HAHAHAH. gusto ko lang hindi agad "mahal" For me kasi saying "iloveyou" is sacred. sasabhn mo lang yun pag kayo na. and if ever i got into this kind of (relationship?) i dont know what the right term to say, I dont like na mag assume siya o ako as if kami. FRIENDS. yung ganun lang turingan nyo. No holding hands, as in no lahat. there are a lot of time. May right time para dun. Not to fast. Duuuh. ayoko na ng ganun. 

I AM PROUD TO BE SCIENTIAN! 

who wouldn't be? HAHAH.Sabi nga nila swerte nga daw at dito ako grumadate. Oo ang swerte ko kasi masasabi ko na may utak ako lol. HAHAHAH Sabi din nila, hindi din kasi biro yung dito ka mag-aaral. Advance yung lessons. Advance subject. but it will help naman daw when i get into college years. Sabi din nila, Selected students lang ang nakakapasa (woohooo!) Sabi din nila may allowance kaya nag take ako HAHAHAHA. Puro sabi na lang nila. Sabi ko, tama lahat sila HAHHAHAH. Coz whenever someone asked me where did i graduated and when i told them "tagsay" they will automatically say " wow talino " but in my mind " Chamba nga lang ako dito" HAHAHA. kahit na nakaka haggard, ang saya. Sanay na nga din ako mag cram lol. HAHAHA lalo sa mga projects and output na laging pinagsasabay ngmga teachers. :| HAHAHHA 

Ngayon na malapit na ko mga college, I really dont know what to do. I dont have any idea about college. :| all i know from what i've heard, is that "college is hell" ngayon, hindi ko ma gets kung bakit hell. dahil ba mahal ang tuition? :O HAHAH kaya nga nakaka-kaba. mixed emotions ako ngayon. I feel excitement, Sadness, Nervous etc etc. Basta ganun. tapos nung fourth yr kami, ayaw pa namin grumaduate. halos lahat naman daw ata ganun sinasabi pag 4th yr na XD. Well, Kelangan eh. para sa future. :)) Sa ASIA PACIFIC COLLEGE ako mag-aaral. no choice eh. HAHAHA. maganda na rin naman yung school. No doubt na rin naman ako. Though alam kong mahal. Pero ok na un. at least hindi hassle sa byahe. ngayon hindi na pedicab sasakyan ko, jeep na. JEEP NA! at mag-isa na lang ako uuwi. Hindi ko na kasabay sila kenneth, camille at ritchel pauwi. WALA NA! hindi na kami magkikita sa isang school! ang lugkot. pero syempre kelangan mag move on ( sa pag graduate at sa heart-aches)

GOD BLESS TO ALL OF US 

ang haba pala netong nasa isa kong blog. Oh well, Thanks sa pag read. I hope you get to know more of me. :)) 

[tongueena]

Turn on: Lalaking maganda ang kamay.