for @likelyrachrl, who isn't feeling well and wanted to read wygig Caitlyn and Vi being domestic and working through Caitlyn's stash of apples!
"I don't understand why you told everyone we'd do a pie," Caitlyn says.
"Because Serena and Clagg like pies," Vi says. "And it's Clagg's birthday."
"Does he like pie more than any other baked good?" Caitlyn asks. "I've never heard him express a particular love for pie."
"Well, Serena brought that pie over that one time."
"That doesn't mean that Claggor adores pie. It just means that Serena made a pie once."
Vi tips her head back and sighs loudly. "Cait. I'm hearing a lot of complaining and not a lot of apple-peeling."
"I can do both," Caitlyn says loftily from where she's standing at the kitchen island.
"But you're not. Okay, new rule. You can do one complaint for every five apples peeled."
Vi frowns at her from across the island. "That's not how you negotiate."
"I drive a hard bargain."
"Okay, whatever," Vi says, completely exasperated. "Just keep peeling."
Caitlyn picks up her peeler with what, in Vi's opinion, is entirely too much attitude for a lovely afternoon activity.
There's a moment of peace as they both peel quietly.
"What if we just brought some apples?" Caitlyn suggests.
Vi's jaw drops. "We can't just bring over a bunch of half-peeled apples!"
"We can say that it's a treasured Piltovian custom that I've brought to Zaun."
Vi gives her a flat look. "No one will believe you. They'll all know that we tried to bake a pie and gave up. Do you want Pow to make fun of you forever for being unable to finish making a pie?"
"No," Caitlyn says sourly. "That's a good point."
Vi waves the peeler at her in triumph and picks up another apple.
They finally finish peeling all the apples.
"Now what?" Caitlyn asks, pouring the rest of her peeled apples into the larger bowl.
"We do the next step of the recipe."
"And what's the next step?"
Vi thinks about it. "Well, we gotta do the crust. Then we put the apples in the crust and bake it."
Caitlyn turns to look at her. She narrows her eyes. "Vi. Do you not have a recipe for this?"
"Who needs a recipe? We can wing it."
"Vi! We can't wing it! We need a recipe!"
"It'll be fine! I wing shit all the time!"
"Yes, when you cook! We're baking! It's different!"
"We're winging it," Vi says with full authority.
Caitlyn groans. "Vi! It's not going to work! It's going to be apple mush, not a pie. We need a recipe."
"We don't have time to get a recipe! We need to bring the pie over tonight!"
"Then we don't have time to fail at creating a pie either!"
Vi goes to the oven and turns it on. "Your lack of confidence hurts my feelings."
She glances over her shoulder to see Caitlyn giving her a flat look. "Violet."
"Caitlyn." Vi smiles banally at her and goes to get the flour to start creating a perfect pie crust.
She can't stop laughing. She's on the floor rolling around about it. Every time she looks up, Caitlyn is still holding a handful of goopy, soggy crust, staring at her with the most unimpressed expression that Vi's ever seen her do.
"I don't understand the science behind this," Caitlyn says thoughtfully. She looks down at her hand, where the pie crust is oozing between her fingers. "It should be scientifically impossible for something to go through the oven and come out looking like this still."
Vi laughs harder. "I'm a genius. I'm incredible."
Caitlyn lets the pie crust goop fall back onto the pan. She looks at her hand with distaste. "Now that I've allowed you to destroy many dollars worth of ingredients, will you allow me to go find a recipe?"
"Sure," Vi gasps out, still trying to catch her breath. "It's gotta be a quick recipe, though."
Caitlyn washes her hands and then goes to the front door. Vi crawls after her and finally manages to get to her feet, laughing to herself whenever the mental image of Caitlyn's face when Vi took the failed crust out of the oven surfaces again in her mind.
Caitlyn puts her shoes on and walks right out the front door. Vi stumbles after her without bothering to get her shoes.
Caitlyn walks down the hall and stops in front of one of their neighbours' doors. She knocks briskly on the door.
After a moment, the door opens. "Oh, Caitlyn!" their neighbour says, her baby on her hip. "Hello!"
"Good evening, Sienna," Caitlyn says. "I was wondering if you happen to have a recipe for apple pie."
It turns out that not only does Sienna have a recipe for apple pie, she has a bunch of pre-made pie crusts in her freezer. She's happy to give one of them to Caitlyn and Vi, which sames them a lot of time.
What also saves them a ton of time is using Sienna's recipe to make the filling for the pie, instead of Vi experimenting until she manages some semblance of a filling.
"This actually looks much better than I thought it would look," Caitlyn says once it's finished.
"Should we bring our first draft too?" Vi asks innocently. "Everyone might want to marvel at how much progress we made in such a short amount of time."
"No," Caitlyn says. "In fact, I want it promptly removed from our home. It scares me. I think it's close to gaining sentience."
Vi looks over at the lump of batter still in the pan on the counter and bursts out laughing again.
They bring over the final draft of the pie to Vander's apartment, which is where Claggor's birthday party is being held. It's very well-received; Claggor loves it, and everyone else is very impressed with Caitlyn and Vi's baking. The only exception, of course, is Powder, who says "this is kind of a fucked-up looking pie."
"If you think this is fucked-up, you should see our first attempt," Vi says gleefully through a mouthful of pie.
"That's very rude, Powder," Caitlyn says from the other side of the table. "Especially considering you brought nothing."
"I brought my sparkling personality and beautiful hair," Powder says. "That's far more valuable than a pie."
There's a chorus of "no, it's not," from around the table.
"It's so sad to be treated like this on a birthday," Powder says.
"It's my birthday," Claggor says mildly.
"It is," Powder agrees. "I said 'a' birthday, not 'my' birthday."
Across the table, Caitlyn sighs loudly. Vi cracks up.
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