it all boils down to love: essays by eli

a collection of creative non-fiction essays ranging from travelogues to literary journalism pieces, but even with all the different genres, what makes them the same is how they all boil down to love.

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The Wholeness of a Loss

           A quintessential question: if you had to lose one body part, what would it be? My friend, Carlo, sarcastically told me that I should choose my appendix, because it is basically useless, but I opted for the more meaningful loss: my eyes.

           Of all my body parts, why my eyes?

           Even if I know that many people would go, “But the eyes are the windows of the soul!”. I stray toward a different path.

           Although the ability to see is always great, I think that if I lost it, I would not lose a lot. One thing I wouldn’t lose in my life is music. Without my eyes, I would still be able to listen to music, something that I treasure dearly. Without my eyes, I would still be able to use my piano and saxophone, two things that I don’t think that I could live without.

           Another thing that I would not lose is food. Even if people say that seeing is part of eating, I beg to differ. To me, eating only needs two things: tasting and smelling. Without my eyes, I would not lose any of those. Even without my eyes, my taste buds and my olfactory receptors can bring me to places I could not have gone with my eyes. Both my sense of smell and taste can give me a strange visual journey, in spite of my blindness.

           Along with the things I wouldn’t lose, why I would choose my eyes to be lost is because of my attachment to a certain Marvel superhero, Daredevil.

           Daredevil, or Matt Murdock, used to be a regular child, until chemicals were coincidentally spilled into his eyes, permanently blinding him, but granting him heightened senses. Although he was blind, his heightened senses still allowed him to ‘see’ like the rest of us, as if he was not blind in the first place.

           I idolized him for a while. It amazed me how he could still see even though he was blind, and he was even more perceptive than those who had actual eyesight.

           In a way, Daredevil inspired me. Even without his eyes, he was still able to function like a normal person, even better perhaps.

           Even if I would never be able to have such superhuman powers like Daredevil, he taught me that seeing isn’t exactly everything, and that there are other ways to ‘see’, and perhaps these ways are even better, more substantial.

           With the inspiration of a blind superhero, and the things that I wouldn’t lose, my adamance in my willingness to lose my eyes is cemented.

           But the more that I think about it, the more I realize how fortunate I am to have even the ability to think about losing a body part. I realized how privileged I am to have been born with a complete set of parts; no more, no less. Even if this quintessential question stifles the minds of many, the mind-boggling idea really is: should we really care about what we are willing to lose, when already have everything that we need?

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Unexpected team pulls off big event; the Ateneo Cup is born.

           A Mobile Legends tournament was not an unfamiliar sight to the Ateneo Hearters, but the Ateneo Cup was something new, something big.

           Back in December, the Ignatian Servant Leaders Council gave a daunting task to each and every organization to come up with a way to raise funds for the upcoming GradBall for the graduating Grade 12 students.

           There, a strange but synergetic collaboration was made between the Sacred Heart School Esports Association (SEA) and the Knights of Loyola (KOL) as they pushed for a Mobile Legends Tournament, open to all.

           But this idea of a huge tournament never came to fruition. With the Corona Virus spreading far and wide, the school could not afford to open the gates of the school to strangers from wherever. The protection of the students came first.

           This setback did not stop the leaders of the two organizations though. Christian Omandam of SEA and Marc Salomon of KOL fought hard to hold a tournament and raise funds no matter what.

           Meeting after meeting was held and members from both organizations racked their minds as to what was the next best alternative.

           True enough, an idea was born: An All-Star Mobile Legends Tournament for the different houses of the Senior High School: Faber, Loyola, and Xavier.

           From there, members from the collaborating organizations scrambled to make the necessary preparations for the upcoming event.

           On February 21, history was made as the Ateneo Cup took place in the Virginia Chiongbian Theater. The venue was packed with students from both Junior and Senior High attending the event as a result of their shared love for Mobile Legends.

           The event itself did justice to the amount of people who attended the event. The matches between the houses were heated, only to be ignited further by the bombastic commentators John Ungab and Victor Revilla.

           The cries of the commentators coupled with the screams from the audience allowed for the energy of the event to go through the roof, a testament to its success.

           In the end, House Faber claimed victory as they defeated both House Loyola and House Xavier. The Php 9000 prize pool was shared proportionally among the three houses.

           The Ateneo Cup was an event born of a strange combination of organizations, but it was one of those weird pairings that one would think would be bad but is actually quite good. It was through the passion of the members of both the organizations in the preparation and execution of this event that contributed to its success. Without said passion, an event as successful as the Ateneo Cup would not have come to be.

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Chantal Therese

           I was scared of her at first, but she was more than I perceived of her to be. I knew her best as Cadet Captain Chantal Ramos, First Platoon Leader of the Bravo Company, and I got to know her even more now as her classmate.

           What most people do not know about Chantal Ramos, known as ‘Channie’, is her immense grit. She strives hard to do her best in everything that she does.

           Ever since her grade school days, she has maintained her streak of being an honor student. Her academic prowess only increased over the years, continuously becoming better, bolstering her intelligence and attunement to the academia.

           Her abundance of medals that accumulated and continually added to her collection was not born out of thin air. These medals represented tireless nights and bloodshot eyes in her quest for excellence.

           Aside from her outstanding performance in regard to academics, she is also skilled in the art of layouting. In Junior High, her talent was put to use in the publication widely known as SEEDS. She was instrumental in the creation of the first newspapers from SEEDS (both English and Filipino). As for the annual magazine that SEEDS published, she contributed immensely as a layout artist, and as a writer to boot.

           Her skills were not wasted once she entered Senior High. As a member of Molave, she continually exercises her talent as a layout artist as it (Molave) publishes online graphics (made personally by Channie and other artists) as visual aids or eye candy for the readers of their articles to look at. Prime had recently released their annual magazine, in which Chantal was instrumental in its creation. She had big contributions in the layouting of the magazine, making it easy for the readers to read, and to maximize the aesthetic that Prime aims to have.

           Chantal Therese P. Ramos is a multi-talented and intelligent individual. What she does, she does out of love, like when she does layouting or studying. As I’ve gotten to know her more and more every year as her friend, I have come to realize all these things about her. Who Chantal is today is an accumulation of her past actions, and her grit and resilience as a student.

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What Walking On Top of Dead People Is Like

           Angelicum is something that I see every day. It is along the route I take as I journey towards school as it is in Angelicum that lies the third Gate for entry into SHS-ADC, a gate that I take frequently, if not all the time.

           Before my father was able to pick me up from school every afternoon, I would have to walk through Angelicum on my way home. It was not until sometime last year that I was finally able to walk through Angelicum once again.

           The special quirk about Angelicum is that it does not bear the usual qualities of a cemetery. Other than the fact that it is very well-maintained and still very spacious, the tombstones are placed below the Bermuda grass. Because of this, you cannot see a tombstone unless you are very near. From afar, all you can see is the pristine grass, creating the notion that Angelicum bears the features of a park, and as you go closer, you are subtly reminded that you are walking through and along dead people.

           This cemetery disguised as a park inadvertently created an environment to do deep thinking. Though I am not alone, as cars filled with living people are inside, and coffins with dead people ‘staying’ in them are my company as I trudge through Angelicum.

           Nonetheless, I still feel alone. Alone enough for me to be able to think, and let my overthinking take over my subconscious, taking me to places I could never go, or would ever hope to go. There were times when I would even surprise myself as I had not realized that I’ve already walked for such a long distance. Of course, this was because I was lost in my thoughts, wandering in my day dreams.

           To me, Angelicum does not only contain dead people, it also contains my thoughts and yearnings. It is there where I have let myself be vulnerable to myself, thinking about things I am not able to think when I am with others. It is there where I am able to become one with myself, getting to know ‘me’ better.

           Walking along Angelicum again brought me back to a time when I was able to reflect on my day and my own life on a daily basis. These days, it is seldom that I am able to think, or have time to myself basically; but I think it is time to reflect again. It is time to walk through Angelicum once again.

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The Author: Who is eli?

Elian “Eli” del Mar is a non-fiction writer beyond his time. Although his works are not yet appreciated in the 21st century, he is sure that in time, when culture is elevated and the enlightenment of society is at hand, his works will become comparable to Karl Marx’ Das Kapital. Aside from creating works of art beyond the comprehension of the current generation, he likes walking along the beach and listening to piano instrumentals. He loves reading. Among his favorite works are Friedrich Engels’ The Communist Manifesto, Margery Williams’ The Velveteen Rabbit, and Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. He is a nature man, and will do anything for the environment. A loving father, mother, brother, and sister, all in one man. Most of all, he dedicates his life to one thing, and one thing only: Creative Non-Fiction.