Your Body: Demystified

Just your friendly local Red Tent operatrix talking about the female body, since doctors and health educators apparently won't.

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My #1 Women's Health Tip

DO NOT - under any fucking circumstances - cut up peppers, wash your hands once, say "that's sufficient", and go put in a menstrual disc.

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Sex Shouldn't Hurt (not even the first time)

Vaginas are pretty cool. At rest, the walls sit lightly closed, and the depth is pretty short. There is a little natural moisture, but not much. But arouse her, and she begins to open, lengthen, and lubricate.

Pain during sex, like all pain, is an indication that something is wrong. The easiest explanation is that you aren't fully aroused. Arousal isn't instantaneous. It takes time. Bartholin's glands are the primary source of a woman's lubrication, but they're on the outside of the vagina, and the vagina itself makes minimal moisture. And again, the vagina isn't just some open gaping hole ready for penetration at all times.

Fluid alone is not indicative of arousal occurring at all, and it isn't indicative of the level of arousal. It doesn't mean you're "ready". Some women, like me, are just really well hydrated and we, eh.... overproduce. Oftentimes a woman's body will turn on the sprinklers at the first sign that penetration is possible simply because it will help protect her vagina from damage.

I was very fortunate that when I had sex for the first time, I had a more experienced partner. While I thought "spread legs + shove in" was what was supposed to happen, he knew better. Because he was actually willing to wait and prepare me, my first sexual experience was completely painless.

Lack of arousal isn't the only reason for pain during sex. There are a number of medical reasons for dyspareunia - pain during sex. Vagina atrophy (when the muscles lose tone and therefore have more difficulty adjusting) isn't uncommon. It can come from other medical conditions, or just from not having sex in a long time.

Vaginismus is a condition that causes your vagina to tense up automatically. It can be caused by generalized fear and anxiety, trauma such as sexual assault, STIs, chronic conditions like endometriosis, yeast infections, fear of pregnancy, or nerve damage. It can also be an early indicator of menopause.

If you experience severe or recurring pain during sex, it's more likely to be medical. Please speak to a competent medical provider as soon as possible because there are options to alleviate it, and it's probably a sign of something more major going on.

If you experience pain or discomfort during sex due to a lack of arousal, please speak to a competent sexual partner as soon as possible because you deserve enjoyable sex. I'm being glib, but keep in mind that most sexual partners you have don't want to hurt you and don't want to be bad at sex. Say something. If they think you're into it, why would they change? You can give them the opportunity to improve. It can even be mutually enjoyable to coach your partner in what you like.

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Let's take a quick look at some of the body parts that women need to be acquainted with.

Here's a detailed illustration, lest you think the female reproductive system is some damn easy bake oven. But we're starting with the basics!

Bartholin's Glands: These are located on either side of the vaginal canal and emit mucus that ranges from almost watery to thick and gooey depending on the need. This mucus combines with the plasma produced by the vaginal walls during arousal. The mucus from the Bartholin's gland is acidic, ranging from 3.8-4.5 on the pH scale (7.0 is neutral).

Cervix: The cervix functions as a gate between the vagina and uterus. It is a deceptively small part of the system when "inactive" but it can dilate significantly to accommodate a fetus. While something inserted into the vagina may touch the outer opening of the cervix, the cervix sits closed most of the time, so you're at no risk of losing a tampon. The cervix opens a little bit during ovulation, menstruation, and childbirth.

Clitoris: Research into the functions of the clitoris has been extremely limited. It has both an internal and external aspect, with the external being located above the urethra, and the internal wrapping around either side of the vagina. The only known function is arousal and sexual stimulation, which also improves fertility.

Fallopian Tubes: The fallopian tubes catch eggs released during ovulation and hold them in the ampulla until the egg is either fertilized - when the then-zygote is sent into the uterus to attach - or not, and released during menstruation.

Labia Majora: The external set of labia is called the labia majora. The labia majora functions to protect the rest of the vulva, the urethra, and the vagina. The labia majora typically swells with blood and slightly parts during arousal.

Labia Minora: The labia minora are the small, inner set of skin folds going from the clitoris to the bottom of the vaginal opening. Like the labia majora, their role is to protect everything encased in them. Unlike with labia majora, it isn't common to grow hair on the labia minora, which may cause discomfort and ingrown hair, leading to infection risks.

Ovaries: Ovaries are small round-ish sacs that contain eggs, the female half of the human gamete. Every month, a new egg drops out of the ovaries and floats (hopefully) to the fallopian tubes. Ovaries aren't attached to the fallopian tubes, so sometimes the eggs just get released into the abdominal cavity. During sex, sperm typically also ends up in the abdominal cavity, and that's how we get extrauterine pregnancies (ectopic pregnancy). Even without a uterus or fallopian tubes, a woman with even just one ovary can still experience pregnancy. Ovaries are also one of the biggest hormone controlling mechanisms in the female body.

Pubic Hair: Beginning at the start of puberty, girls develop pubic hair. By womanhood, this hair typically comes from the pelvis all the way down, covering the labia majora, extending onto the inner thighs, and down and back over the perineum and up around the anus. Pubic hair is there to help us keep clean. Typically the texture is springy, coarse, and curled. This helps prevent detritus from reaching the inner labia and vagina, which can cause irritation and infection. Pubic hair also wicks sweat and moisture away from the vulva. This is a very important function as the vagina and vulva are typically a little wet, due to discharge, and that moisture needs to be removed as it is replaced.

Skene's Glands: Located on either side and slightly under the urethra, these glands can release an "ultrafiltrate" of blood plasma, but typically only during (a really good) orgasm in a phenomenon known as female ejaculation/squirting/gushing. This is not urine. Fun fact: The fluid from Skene's glands is sweet, and has a very high concentration of both glucose and fructose.

Uterus: The uterus is an interesting and multi-purpose structure. Most commonly referenced, the uterus holds a fetus, develops the placenta, and does most of the work in reproduction. However, the uterus also serves as a "weight bearing" organ helping to define and maintain the structure of the abdominal cavity. Newer research is also indicating that the uterus plays an important part in hormone control, and overall health - for example, a hysterectomy increases your chance of developing dementia later in life.

Vagina: The vagina is a tube-like muscle organ that connects up to the cervix. When 'at rest' the vagina is quite short, but when a woman is aroused it lengthens. (Average vagina depth directly correlates to average penis length within a group - if the average penis length is 4-5 inches, the average vaginal depth when aroused is 4-5 inches.) As it's made of muscle, the vagina is highly maneuverable and can be clenched and released whether to increase pleasure during stimulation, or to help push a baby out.

Vulva: The external portion of the female reproductive system, comprising of the labia majora, labia minora, vaginal opening, clitoris, urethra, and associated glands. Everything you can see is the vulva. (|i|) << all vulva.

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Today I explained to a 40 year old woman, who gave vaginal birth to three children, what her cervix is - and what it is not.

I want to go apeshit.

Major medical texts don't have clitoral anatomy. Most people think female ejaculation is urination. Doctors don't even think the cervix has nerve endings. The uterus is treated like a bloatware app. Basically nobody knows how the HPV vaccine has changed the cadence of gynecological exams.

It's unsafe. It's unreasonable. It's unfair.

I am extremely fortunate that I have reliable, knowledgeable women I can speak to. All women deserve that opportunity. I'm going to talk generally about important things. If you have questions, ask.

While the female body is beautiful, glorious, and magical, it's long past time for it being mysterious.