The Rules Of Hell: Live At Last.

I AM A ROLEPLAYER. I DO NOT OWN ANY PICTURES POSTED. Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just going to bash your brains in...I'm gonna bash them right the fuck in! “I am only responsible for my own heart, you offered yours up for the smashing my darling. Only a fool would give out such a vital organ” "I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." “I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.” “Man can never know the loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in the woman's womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. Woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which she is bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love a taking of man within her, an act of birth and rebirth, of child rearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to be. But for woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment man rests inside of her.” “When your beauty struck me, it dissolved me. Deep down, I am not different from you. I dreamed you, I wished for your existence. I see in you that part of me which is you. I surrender my sincerity because if I love you it means we share the same fantasies, we share the same madness.”

[calimarikid]

Metallica

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[jaymzcatfield-deactivated202105]

© Jay Blakesberg

[crematorycrypt]

Baby

[jaymzcatfield-deactivated202105]

© Jay Blakesberg

[mightyjameshetfield]

[lilmamabeyellin]

[rarerotic-deactivated20180205]

[gnegar]

[stonersandchoppers]

[dog--child]

[crematorycrypt]

My body is a canvas that is ready to be marked, painted and decorated in bruisings and scratches. I am full of lust, full of yearning to feel the familiar pull deep in my stomach when I am on the brink of losing all control.

[chien-espagnol]

recovery 

cc: @theruleset

[floatingcrownythingz]

sweet mercy

[weirdwoman83]

[crematorycrypt]

New me.

While I spent majority of my life in this angsty lifestyle, consumed by my own hatred for myself, my parents and everything else the world offered- believe it or not, I've changed. I don't know what happened. I just woke up one day and asked myself what the fuck I was doing. What was I really living for? What was my aim and what the fuck did I really want out of my life? For that matter, what did I truly expect to gain from being so unhappy? I was using men to get what I wanted while I racked up thousands from never having to spend a dime of my own money. Disgusting, isn't it? I look back now, not able to fully grasp what trauma I had endured to bring me to where I had been. My parents weren't that fucking bad. My life wasn't that bad. I had everything a girl could dream of, yet I was so unhappy. I took people down with me through my own demise. I was a rude, inconsiderate money hungry troll. I broke hearts. I did the shit without hesitation, without second thoughts. I slept peacefully every night with not a single care in the world. Now I lay awake at night, longing for one single hour of sleep. My demons haunt me, the skeletons in my closet come out to play and torment me to their fullest potential. I still hate myself, only now I know why. I no longer have all these men at my fingertips. I gained a conscience, my heart feels again. I feel bad for everything that I did. I don't let people know it. I gave up the bad girl attitude, I'm just me now. Instead of being hellbent on being the hottest, and bitchiest I'm more concerned with the wellbeing of myself and others. I care entirely too much. I think way too hard. Am I enough? Do I do enough? I'll never know and I yearn to find the reassurance that I am doing everything right. Anxiety is my new best friend. I sound like a hot mess, I'm really not. I like to think I handle it all with a unique trait of balancing everything with such precision you'd never tell I'm a raging mess inside. My demons are slowly being laid to rest. The skeletons are retracting. My days are brighter. I'm getting happier. Time heals all, but the question is this- Is time really on my side?

[crematorycrypt]

Vixen.

Most women yearn to have all eyes on them, especially when it comes to men. Not the type of deer in headlights, wide eyed mouth on the ground type of look either. The kind of look that you feel. The ones that leave you deciding if you're uncomfortable or just flat out aroused from how hard he is eye fucking you. You know how it goes. They stare. Hard. Their tongues glide along their hungry lips while their hands itch to feel how perfectly your ass curves or how plump your tits are. Those are my favorite, and they come often. I guess you could say I almost expect it. I have no shame. Confidence isn't an area I lack in. In fact, most people who really know me would say I am a cocky, man eating know it all. They're right. I spend my mornings walking around my little one bedroom apartment, catching a glimpse of myself in a mirror any chance I get. I never quite understood how I got this way. Maybe because of how easily I could trick these needy men into thinking I was exactly what they wanted. I'm quick to figure someone out and I will use it to get what I want. Don't get me wrong, I have compassion. I have feelings and I have a heart- I just don't take those things into consideration while having conversation as much as your average joe. I'm a female pig waiting for my next feeding, waiting for the moment to feel someone's eyes pierce into me as if I were going to be their last lay. I live for the shit. To say it gives satisfaction is an understatement. It's more like a drug for me. Knowing I can have someone at the palm of my hands to do whatever I please with makes my heart race, adrenaline sky rockets and I go for the kill. My quick tongue is the bait, my body and good looks are the hook. I am fishing in a pool of men who dream about getting a chance with a woman like me. Someone who knows what she wants and isn't scared to get it. I'm not looking for relationships. I'm only 23. I have plenty of time to settle. Who am I kidding though? I've never been one to settle. My first taste of a good fuck was all I needed to get me here to this life of sin. I was raised by a couple who fully believed you weren't supposed to climb into bed with someone until you were married. I'm laughing. Who really has the energy to be shackled to a foundation with four white walls that are just like every other set? Stuck in a life that brings nothing but money and boring days. Not fucking me. Don't get me wrong, money is nice but Plain Jane, mommy and daddy's girl wasn't my style. I made sure they knew it too. I'll never forget the look on my mothers face when she walked in to my room only to find me riding some strangers face while his cock was in the back of my throat. I swear her eyes just about popped out of her head while she fell to her knees. I didn't stop. I've been a bad seed from the beginning. I still don't plan on stopping. I sound like a real greaser gutter slut right? I ain't sorry. I know where my coochie has been. Damn sure ain't been a hallway for all these lil sausage links to slide in. I mainly just use the men I allow myself to be involved with for their time, their compliments. Money. Lust. Temptation. It's all part of the thrill. It's all a game in my head. I have the rules set in stone. It all starts when I'm finished getting all dolled up. Men can't resist a set of cherry red lips and a bangin ass set of legs covered by a pair of stockings that leave their minds wondering if they're attached to a matching lace garter belt, which is usually the case. For me lingerie is just as important as the air We breathe. They're a necessity in my wardrobe, that extra umph that really brings an outfit to life. It never hurt anyone to show a little skin. My style and heart are stuck back in the 40s. I have a closet full of pinup attire that brings attention to my every curve. Heels that accentuate every muscle in my legs with each step I take. While I give off the good girl look from a distance, I'm far from it. I will flutter my full lashes at you, show you my biggest smile and laugh at your every piss poor joke. I'll have you thinking you're the man of my dreams but in my head I'll only be thinking about ripping your clothes off. Hanging off your arm while we stroll around town, showing me off to everyone that we come in contact with. You'll think you're a king. You're wrong. I will use you until I am bored. I'll fuck you so good you'll think you're falling in love. I am a man eater. I have no shame. No inner demons or regrets. Don't get me wrong. I've always been this raging cocky bitch, but I've had my fair share of broken hearts and bad days. Life isn't always peachy fuckin keen. Took me a while to realize that too. The broken hearts that I've endured tie into the way I am such a man eater these days. I know not all men are the same. Neither are all women. Masking my heartache was the easy way out when it first happened. It made sense, and it felt right.

[tamper]

[rewind01]

[lehnathebastard]