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don't laugh at my sparklegator (icon by @heysye!)

[crocogatordile]

some days you feel like The Specials - Ghost Town / Why? / Friday Night Saturday Morning album art right skeleton but other days you feel like The Specials - Ghost Town / Why? / Friday Night Saturday Morning album art left skeleton

[crocogatordile]

when you think about it dark souls 2 is about chess because there's like knights and shit in the castle and the queen has the most power while the king is a shriveled old man with like two attacks. and choosing to perpetuate the cycle (i.e. playing another game of chess) is the bad ending (opinion)

[crocogatordile]

crazy how there's people out there convinced that we're like on the cusp of uploading all our brains to a mainframe just because they ask jeeves 20 times a day

[crocogatordile]

straight up I think I could be trusted with blood magics and accursed sanguine armaments and stuff because if I saw the blood too much I'd get lightheaded and kinda queasy so I'd have to stop well before I could fall for the temptations of their baleful power

[crocogatordile]

someone keeps adding more and more redundant qualifiers bit by bit to a footnote about chopsticks on the philippines wikipedia page

[crocogatordile]

I had to change cars recently and went with a subaru and so far I have noted a nearly 100% rate of people I know talking to me about it and then subsequently mentioning lesbians, so I mean like I can only assume when the keys were given to me on a big carabiner it was a deliberate signal

[riku-usi]

🐊🐊

[crocogatordile]

loving the current ad rotation on here where if I don't have my phone muted then every five posts or so of scrolling is punctuated with the first half second of insanely loud screeching from some guy sliding down a tube in an autoplaying ad for some fuckass puzzle game

[crocogatordile]

magic the gathering is crazy from an outside perspective like the base stuff going on sounds like normal solid trading card game type stuff for building a deck with but every time you hear people discussing what they're actually doing with it they're posting pictures of cards at each other and saying like Dude Yes Orzo Cycling Is Sooo Fun To Build A Deck Around and when you look at the card it's some guy called like Orzo, Augur Of Light and its only ability is Whenever You Attack You May Remove Orzo, Augur Of Light From The Game Permanently

[crocogatordile]

you're telling me they're putting the undertaker in elden ring??

[crocogatordile]

I think essentially my entire cohort turned 30 and just in general Stopped Doing Things at a critical period where I seem to be genuinely succumbing to cabin fever

[crocogatordile]

have never set up and adjusted a camera as quickly as I did just a bit ago in the couple minutes I had between seeing how red the moon was (wildfire smoke) (in michigan) and running out of time to photograph it because it was actively lowering out of sight

[crocogatordile]

I love how The Algorithm for online shopping ads is like, Just Try To Sell Them More Of What They Just Bought No Matter What

like a couple months ago I bought one little replacement seal to repair a toilet so I was instantly added to the Real Shitters Mailing List so now like one in three ads is checking in to see if I want another random toilet piece since I must surely have either a toilet repair hobby or a perpetually breaking toilet

[crocogatordile]

sun tzu really didn't say anything about going into the x2 or the -20 gate when you're a small group of soldiers running up a road with an infinite wave of zombies coming from the other direction so it's really no wonder they always lose

[crocogatordile]

some theologians contend that adam and eve were in fact the first "chicago dogs" to be dragged through the garden

[crocogatordile]

they named this guy like if punch-out added a french canadian character

[crocogatordile]

my idea for a new card in balatro? add the bishop from chess. its power is that instead of going straight across it can go diagonal