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Today's Document
Jules of Nature
pixel skylines
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Xuebing Du
noise dept.
Three Goblin Art
styofa doing anything
Peter Solarz
tumblr dot com
#extradirty
h
KIROKAZE
blake kathryn
wallacepolsom
Andulka
DEAR READER
i don't do bad sauce passes
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@cronversrations
It was Union Square Ventures...
Jonny: What is USV?
Jonny: Ugly Subaru Vans
Kris: Unspeakable Sailor Vowels
Jonny: Umbrella Safety Video
Kris: Urban Soft Voices
Jonny: Undead Siamese Vultures
Kris: USB SMH VHS
Kris: Unkempt Salty Values
Jonny: University of Shitty Vampires
Kris: Upper South Vestibule
Jonny: Unforgettable Spanish Vowels
Jonny: Usher's Sexy Viola
Kris: Unclear Super Villains
Jonny: Unwed Special Victims
Jonny: Uncle's Secret Vitamins
Kris: Unnecessary Scuba Valve
T-shirt sizes
Jonny: "If you gave me a case of red bull and two weeks I could rebuild this"
Jonny: "If you gave me a tombstone pizza and a 12 pack of Charmin ultra strong toilet paper, I could build this in a week"
Kris: "If you give me a case of Mountain Dew, I'm either going to pee myself or get through this"
Jonny: "If you gave me a case of red bull and three weeks, I could finish this in a week"
Kris: "If you gave me a handful of quarters I could do laundry"
Jonny: "if you gave me some drugs, are you a cop?"
Jonny: "If you gave me more mushrooms and stopped turning into a dragon, I could sleep at night"
Jonny: It smells like expired food in here.
Kris: That's my new cologne. Expired Food by Old Guy™
Jonny: Street Man by Calvin Klein
Jonny: I want to cover Cat Stevens songs, but scatting... Scat Stevens.
Kris: Scats in the cradle.
Jonny: Scats in the cradle and the silver SPIBBITY BOP-BOO-BOP!
Emojis
Jonny: *emoji of an amateur snake charmer*
Kris: *emoji of another emoji with multiple personalities*
Jonny: *emoji of a ripoff emoji called an emogli*
Kris: *emoji of an impostor*
Jonny: *transparent emoji*
Kris: *Dyslexic ejomi*
Kris: This is the look I'm going for.
Jonny: Confused Fisherman?
Jonny: The Colorful Lumberjack.
Kris: Trust-fund Dockworker.
Jonny: Pastel Miner.
Jonny: Fashionable Junkie.
Kris: Festive Park-sleeper.
Jonny: Trendy Bird Whisperer.
Jonny: The Vibrant Mountaineer.
Forever Dolph In Love
Jonny: It's about half past Connan Mockasin thirty...
Kris: mmmmhmmm
Kris: *snap snap*
Jonny: *floats away holding umbrella that is actually a stork wearing a sombrero*
Kris: Only one search result for wooden pickle?
Jonny: Thanks Obama.
Related searches
Kris: Related search for captcha: catcher in the rye.
Jonny: Same thing.
Kris: Captcha in the rye.
Jonny: Captcha, did you mean "catcher and all around good guy Dan Wilson?"
Kris: Great guy. Wonderful. Just wonderful.
Jonny: Captcha, did you mean "cappuccinos contain less milk than lattes and they are better?"
Kris: Captcha. Did you mean fjuejd or did you want to see a new word?
Jonny: Captcha. Did you mean "mike is a real asshole, don't trust his lies?"
CHEEZ-IT!™
Kris: CHEEZ-IT: Equally Delicious and Disgusting™
Kris: Take Home Some of the Grossest Baked Snack Crackers. You are Going to Love Them. Probably. CHEEZ-IT!™
Kris: CHEEZ-IT: Made With 100% Real Cheese. And TBHQ, for Freshness!
Jonny: CHEEZ-IT: Life Isn't Going too Great Right Now…™
Kris: I Guess I'll Eat These Now. CHEEZ-IT.
Jonny: CHEEZ-IT: So this is what it's come to…™
Jonny: CHEEZ-IT: You're Probably Wearing Sweatpants Right Now™
Kris: CHEEZ-IT: 100% Real Cheese! At Least That's Something™
Jonny: CHEEZ-IT: The Healthy Snack That Won't Love You Back : ( ™
Jonny: CHEEZ-IT: The Official Snack of Falling Asleep In Front of The TV
Buffets
Jonny: All you can eat almonds.
Jonny: That needs to be a thing.
Jonny: Nut buffets.
Kris: Almost all you can eat
Kris: Not quite all you can eat
Jonny: A little less than you can eat.
Kris: Let's Not Get Crazy Here Buffet
Jonny: You Don't Need THAT Much Buffet.
Kris: Let's Be Reasonable Buffet
Kris: Eat Until you are Full, but No More, Buffet™
Jonny: Free All You Can Think About Eating Buffet
Kris: Listen Fatty, You Don't Need that Fourth Helping… Uh… Buffet
Jonny: You Don't Need Seconds Buffet
Good talk
Jonny: Crawfish?
Kris: m
That Girl From That One Band
Jonny: Beach flavors: Peach Kelli Pop
Jonny: Girl from White Wires
Kris: Don't know either of those bands
Jonny: Girl from Saskatoon Rectangle
Jonny: Girl from Trash Sleepers
Kris: Oh, the Girl from Crafty Union Workers?
Jonny: No, you're thinking of that other girl from Sloth Eyes
Jonny: I'm talking about the girl from Hand Sandwich
Kris: Oh, so not the girl from Tooth Panic?
Jonny: No, but she looks a lot like her
Jonny: Wasn't that girl in Broken Mustache?
Kris: Yeah, she was in a band with that guy from Festive Troubles
Kris: And then they formed ____crunch_____ with the drummer from Placemats/Placehats
Jonny: Oh yeah! I was so surprised when he left Ambient Face to start up Festive Troubles
Kris: They were just terrible
Tate Slade
Kris: There's a bunch of potato salad upstairs. SO MUCH.
Jonny: TATER SLADE?
Kris: Tate Slade. Outfielder for Cincinnati Reds.
Jonny: Ball went right off his head and out for a home run once...
Jonny: Ended his career.
Jonny: He was too ashamed to come back out.
Kris: Right off his noggin.
Jonny: That's why people say "Way to pull a Tate" when a player gets hit in the head.
Kris: He overcame the concussion, but not the shame.
Jonny: His vision came back, but not his pride.
Reggie "Kind of a douche" Platters
Jonny: If there are no more veggie platters, I am going to be IRRATE!
Kris: vreggie
Kris: reggie platters
Jonny: Now batting, Reggie Platters
Kris: Reggie Platters was a great 3rd baseman
Jonny: DIVING STOP BY REGGIE PLATTERS!
Kris: too bad he died
Jonny: It was a sad day.
Jonny: A freak chewing tobacco incident.
Psssssst
Prince: i want 2 make it so coconut water comes out of my kitchen sink does any1 know how 2 do that also u should know my kitchen is purple
Jonny: He transcribed that using whisper-to-text software.
Kris: psssst4u pro
Jonny: psssssst2txt purple