i havent been feeling super super close to God, how do i rebuild a closer relationship with Him? how can i start praying? how can i get myself to start reading the bible? how can i try to reduce sinning? these are all things ive been wanting to do, but just can’t get myself to. i don’t know how to start.
hello! first of all thank you for this message and apologies for a late reply, i personally was going through something very similar to this as I fell into repeated sin so I can share my experience which will hopefully help you!
The number one thing you have to always remember is God never leaves our side and God never stops loving you. God is the definition of true love. Praying is simply talking to God. The Bible mentions the importance of talking to God in a quiet place. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35) If Jesus retreated to a quiet place to pray, then so must we in our search to be Christ-like. To be completely honest I know this can be hard, not only due to living circumstances but also due to our own mind overthinking. The quiet comes with practice and I too sometimes get distracted during moments of quiet reflection and prayer with the Lord. The important thing is to keep going and to not stop searching for God. Also, I can speak from experience is that I prioritised other things before praying for many years and would pray only a little before sleep. Now I still mainly pray before I go to sleep, but it is important that you set aside time to do so. For me what struck me was when I read somewhere that said, 'okay you have time to scroll on your phone for 3/4 hours a day but do not even have half an hour for God'. After that I was like oop okay that convicted me hard and I slowly started building up a habit. Thanking God when I get home safely, or thanking God before eating or just filling the silent moments with the Jesus Prayer helps. Also, I recommend starting each day, before you go on your phone or worry about anything else but praying the Lord's prayer and saying a few words to God every morning, thus you root your day in God!
Additionally, we are not bound by sin! Jesus died on the cross for our worst sins and then rose from the dead after three days, defeating death, defeating sin. Therefore, we are not chained to any sin, even though it can feel like that sometimes. "The fire of sin can be extinguished by the tears of repentance", Father Spyridon. Come to God as you are and talk to him, open your heart and be honest. God loves you. He never stopped loving you and will never stop loving you.
I recommend the Athon Bible App because it gives you three prayers a day and short excerpts from the Bible and teachings from Saints.
Reading the Bible can seem very overwhelming. I would recommend starting with the Athon app I mentioned or even the 'Bible' App which has free courses you can take that explain verses in the Bible. Personally, I would recommend starting with Psalms only because I think they are easy to read and it is easier to decipher teachings from them. Additionally, starting with the New Testament might be easier, because I started with the Old Testament and started getting confused with the events because I think understanding it requires more time and research into the history. What would help with this is buying a Study Bible, or simply online there are many websites that can help. One thing I do want to mention is please beware of many Christian influencers on social media. A lot of them, I am sure have good intentions, but some of them do not. So be careful what teachings you allow to enter your mind. Guard your heart and mind and soul. Get your teachings from verified sources such as:
Orthodox priest serving in ROCOR.
Above i linked one of my favourite youtube pages, Father Spyridon.
Now something I have come to terms with, and this is something Father Spyridon mentions in his videos, is that we are all sinners. We are. We can never be perfect. Only Jesus Christ is sinless and perfect. But, through him we receive salvation if we repent. Truly repent. Even if we fall, we have to get back up always. As Father Spyridon says: Paradise will not be filled with sinless people. It will be filled with people who have repented.
I also want to quickly mention something I realised is that you have to be so so so careful with what you consume spiritually and mentally. For example, listening to music glorifying sin. I have spent years doing that thinking 'eh it's okay i am just listening'. But when I stopped (for the most part I still listen to some non-Christian songs but mainly try to listen to Christian songs) I realised how much better I felt. I also realised there are sooo many good artists out there in any genre you want. I am a metal, goth-metal fan and was so pleasantly surprised to find Christian metal bands. So, whatever genre is your favourite, I am sure you will be able to find artists. Linked to this, even movies, books, etc. I am not saying everything you read or watch must be Christian but just be careful. You know your weakness and be honest with yourself and do not watch things that could cause you to sin. Obviously this is hard, and again I am far from perfect I do not do this always, but it is something to keep in mind.
The Holy Spirit has been putting on my heart how important it is to keep the company of other Christians and to have a support group around you. This is something I do not have yet but I encourage you to get involved in Church groups as much as you can.
I just want to reiterate I am far from perfect. It took me a long time to get to the stage now where I can thank God when things do not go the way I wanted them too. That is not to say I do not get anxious or frustrated or angry at times but something to always remember is that God is working for our good, for our benefit, not against us. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we want and desire and think 'oh i want this job or i want this opportunity or i want this person to be my person' BUT God is all-knowing and all-seeing. He knows and sees things we do not know and might never see. Hence, when things do not go the way we wish for them to be, remember it is a blessing. You might not understand now but one day you will. All in God's timing. What helps me is praying the Lord's Prayer, specifically I repeat to myself sometimes "thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven".
All of these things I have said are things that helped me which I hope can help you. Being a Christian is all about love, at the end of the day. The more you read the Bible and surround yourself with Christians, the more your soul will be Christ-like.
I pray that you feel God's love more and more every day!
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