Culture in Media

This blog will look at how different television shows depict gender roles throughout different cultures 

[crossculturalpsych]

Ali’s Wedding

This week during quarantine I had the opportunity to watch many movies. One of these movies was called, “Ali’s wedding”. This movie was all about the life of an Iraqi-born man growing up in Melbourne, Australia. This man goes through many hardships and jumps through many obstacles after he lies about his academics. By watching this film, I was able to learn a lot about the Iraqi culture, and their religious culture of Muslim. I was very intrigued by this movie because, of all the films I watched when looking at family dynamics, this culture was the one I knew least about.

Ali is one of three children; he had another older brother who suffered a tragic accident in Iran and passed away. He has a loving family with a stable mother and father. In this movie the parents play a very prominent role in Ali’s everyday decisions. They have a lot of say into what their children will do. Ali’s mother is very evidently more of a supporting role in the parenting duo. She is helpful and does most (if not all) of the chores around the house. She is a shoulder that they all lean on, but she is not the dominant one in the home. She is very well respected and is very kind, but she does not work, and she is not typically the one that her children go to when they need serious advice. When something is wrong, she is the one to fix it however, she does not seem to be the one that handles the big decisions. Ali’s father, like all of them, is very strong in his faith. Although they are all very religious, he is very clearly the most well practiced and loyal Muslim of them all. His father is not quick to anger and even says at one point “I wish I could raise my voice back at you but my religion doesn’t allow it”; with this being said he is a very mellow man who is guided by Allah in his everyday lifestyle. His father has very high standards and expects a lot out of all of his children. One thing he emphasized greatly was education. He was most proud of his son when he was well educated. Both Ali’s parents understand and emphasize the importance of marriage constantly throughout the movie; in fact his father says to Ali,  “no many is complete without a wife”.

These are some of the men/elders with in their religious community. The man in the center on the right is Ali’s father.

 As the movie continues his mother tries to set up Ali for marriage. There is one scene where she approaches him and asks what is most important to him in a wife, intelligence, appearance, or cleaning. She decides that she thinks cleaning will be the best quality to have. I thought this was very telling because in typical American culture this would have been found offensive to women however in this movie it is not frowned upon nor is it offensive in any way; it is just their normal way of life.  It is evident that his mother is not interested in what he is looking for in a wife. In fact, when he shows interest in another woman his mother makes it clear that she only wants him to marry an Iraqi woman who was born in Iraq like their own family. They wish to stay within their culture and in-group. This, I felt, was similar to many other cultures. Ali’s parents set him up to have tea with a woman; this tea ceremony is a way to propose the possibility of marriage. Because Ali is not aware of the traditional customs, he mistakenly finds himself engaged by the end of this tea ceremony without having had any say in the decision. It is clear that he does not want to go through with this but does not want to let his parents down. It is evident throughout this movie through scenes like that and many more that all Ali would like to do is please his parents and be a “good” Muslim. The parent’s approval means everything in this movie, and it appears as if this is common in this culture based on the other Muslim characters in the film as well.

The most interesting aspect I noticed in this film, that has differed greatly from what I have seen in the other movies I watched, was the women's’ unwavering desire to please the men. When Ali is having tea for the second time with his fiancé, they have a very interesting conversation. His fiancé when asked how many kids she wants says, “however many makes you happy”. As he purposefully makes up scenarios about their future together that make himself seem unappealing and unbearable, she responds with “as long as you are comfortable, I will be too” her joy is prided in his comfort and making him happy. I found this to be very interesting because having never spoken to him before she was already willing to conform to his wants to make him happy; she completely neglected her own opinions. This is far unlike what I have seen in traditional American culture.

Similarly to how in this movie, the women were expected to clean and conform to the men, they were not to further their education. In this movie, the women in this religious culture were not praised as highly as men. Rather, they were hardly praised at all. For example, one of the men in their community scores a 96.4 on his medical exam to be a doctor and is paraded through the mosque and raved about. He is given a trophy and treated like royalty. A woman scores a 99.1 and is completely neglected. They also do not expect her to go to university afterward because she would have to mix with the men. Even after passing her exam with flying colors, the woman who scores a 99.1 on her medical exam chooses not to become a doctor because her father does not approve. She said that she believed that there needed to be a Muslim to look after the women and he did not agree. She explains to Ali that he would have a “heart attack” if he found out she even played basketball. The women were not seen as equal to the men in this film. Interestingly, although the women were not treated as equal as men, and were thought to only please the men, most of the women in the movie did not mind at all. This was something I realized that would differ greatly from American culture. In this movie, the women seemed to be okay with conforming to the men and limiting themselves; they were very happy and content.

[crossculturalpsych]

Crazy Rich Asians

My most recent blog post will explore the gender roles and culture of an Asian family. I recently watched the movie, Crazy Rich Asians, which I really liked I might add. This movie is a modern movie that was just released in 2018. This movie is about an Asian American woman named Rachel Chu. The plot is all about her going to meet her boyfriend, Nick Young’s, family for the first time. She comes to find out that his family is extremely rich and well respected in Asia. She has to face many challenges during her trip to Singapore, however the greatest challenge is pleasing Nick’s disapproving mother. This movie shows a lot of family dynamics and interactions so it seemed to be a good basis for how an Asian family may behave and how the gender roles are within the family.

One aspect that seems to be greatly valued in this movie is family relations. In one of the beginning scenes, Rachel asks Nick why they will not be staying with his family, she says “shouldn’t you be staying with your family like a good Asian son?”. Nick simply replies with, “Well I am not a good Asian son”, jokingly. I thought this line was important because it showed that Rachel believes that Asians place a lot of value in family. This point is emphasized many times throughout the movie. Another time this emphasis on family relations can be seen is when Rachel and Nick go to meet his grandmother. It is explained that since nick is the most liked grandchild, he has the highest status in the Singapore community. He is a hot commodity because he is his grandmothers favorite. She seems to have a lot of “power” and influence on the status of her family members. In the Asian families depicted in this movie it is clear that the elders are greatly respected. The most respect goes to the grandparents, then the parents, then the children, etc. Nicks mother states later in the movie that it is good Rachel appreciates her family, because they have learned to put their family first and not their passions unlike the American’s.

Another major emphasis in the movie was education level/ job status and amount of personal choice towards education. In other words, in this film in particular, it was clear that the people who were more educated or of higher intelligence were more well liked. Nick made sure he told his mother that Rachel was an economics professor and that she also could speak a second language to try and get her approval. His mom seemed to be impressed with this and expressed that Rachels own mother must be proud,  however; when Rachel explained that back in America her mother was “just proud of her because she knows how much she loves her job and it’s her passion” the mother responds with “Passion, how American of you. Your mother is very openminded, not like here where parents are obsessed with shaping the life of their children”. Another example of this emphasis in the importance of job status throughout this movie can be seen when the characters speak of their spouses. The mother explains that when duty calls her husband goes and that he is rarely home, in the other family the man is embarrassed that his wife is the main bread winner so he works very hard to greaten his status, one of the women explains to Rachel how her job as a lawyer is not that impressive and whenever a character is introduced to Rachel their educational background/ job is always mentioned.

Like stated previously, in this film it seems as though men are thought to be the main breadwinners of the family. One of Nicks cousins has to hide all of the items she buys when shopping because she is afraid it belittles her husband’s worth. She explains at the endo of the movie that she turned down many job offers and hid her wealth from her husband because it made him feel less of a man. Differences in gender roles seem to be that the woman are just there to support the men. The women do all of the cooking in this movie, the men are at work primarily the entire movie. Nick in this movie, is the “heir to his family’s throne”. The family states that he as the favorite son will get his families wealth. Although it may differ in other Asian families, in this movie the woman decides who is worthy of entering into their family and their approval greatly effects the status of who they like or dislike. In this movie when the grandmother or mother requests to speak to the son there is absolutely no hesitation to see what they wish. It is hard to depict whether this importance of the mother’s role is due to the family’s wealth in the movie or their culture.

[crossculturalpsych]

La Casa de las Flores

This week in my blog post, I looked into family dynamics within the Mexican culture. I continued to explore gender roles and how they may or may not vary from that of our American culture. I watched the show “La Casa de las Flores”, or the house of the flowers. In summary, this show is somewhat of a drama therefore, it may not be the best depiction of the Mexican culture. However, with that being said it still does emphasize many things that are relevant and appear constantly in Mexican culture.

     In short, this show is a Netflix original about a family called the Rosa family. They are a large family that displays their wealth early on in the series. They face a tragic death early on in the episodes of the show, (I’ll spare the name, so there are no spoilers) that ends up revealing many secrets about the family that was not previously uncovered.

     In the first episode alone, there are clear gender roles and ideas that are of cultural importance that can be easily identified. One of the main cultural ideals in the family that was emphasized in this show was the idea of the family alone. The Rosa family, along with many other Mexican families feel very strongly about protecting and being close as a family. They, in this show, were not generally welcoming to those from outside of their culture. They took great pride in their Mexican culture. Family comes first.

 In this episode, the family finds out that the father had been having an affair with one of the workers at the shop and instead of the family being angry with him, the daughter comforts her father after the loss of his mistress and the mother decides to act as though nothing has happened; she asks her family to take this secret to the grave and willingly gives her husband a second chance.  This is very different from the family aspect seen in “A Marriage Story”, where we saw that after her husband’s affair she was not forgiving; in fact, the wife got a divorce and split her family up. This Mexican culture focuses greatly on family ties and maintaining this strong bond. Throughout the show, we see that regardless of how each individual is treated or what they may be experiencing individually they always come back to their family. Simply put, the Rosa family always has each other's backs. They will do anything for their family. 

     In regard to the gender roles, there seems that a strong matriarch figure is an important aspect of this culture. The mother of this household was continually calling the shots and there was no questioning or going against what she had to say.  She was a strong figure in this show, and it is my belief that this is how most Mexican households operate. The grandmother of this family established the family business and years after, her daughter, the wife in this series, took over the business. This show displayed a strong female role. Although the father figure was also strong and established, it was evident that the mother primarily made the decisions. One way in which they show the mother's “masculinity” in through a scene where she is seen smoking a pipe. The mother had just found out that her husband had been having an affair with her and instead of crying or being expressive about her feelings she smokes a pipe. This is typically a more masculine activity and by the directors showing her in this role and the father crying, they have shown the hierarchy of the household.

     This Mexican culture is similar to that of the American culture displayed in “A Marriage Story” because they both show strong females and a growing switch from males holding the power to females calling the shots. Although these females are expressing their freedoms and “power” in a different way they both have a growing role in the home. It is unclear if this growing matriarch role in both American and Mexican is due to the newer generations or if this is their cultural norms. There is a possibility that it is both. In contrary to the American culture, Mexican culture places far more emphasis on keeping their family ties and maintaining a strong relationship between relatives no matter what. Whereas Americans were more willing to sacrifice their family to improve their own happiness, those of the Mexican culture were more likely to stick to their family even if it jeopardized their individual happiness. My overall analysis is that those in the Mexican culture are far more interdependent than those of American culture.

[crossculturalpsych]

Gender Roles in US Film

Culture varies in many ways. One way culture varies is through media and gender roles. In the following weeks, I will be comparing cultures to that of our western American culture by watching various tv shows and movies to observe different gender roles through film. In order to compare to western culture, it is important that we look at American gender roles in film first.

I recently watched the film, Marriage Story, directed by Noah Baumbach. It is a Netflix original starring Scarlet Johansson, Adam Driver, and Laura Dern. This movie depicts the story of an American couple who is currently going through a divorce and trying to maintain their family structure. It is a very realistic film about how divorce can affect different people and how the couple feels toward one another. Throughout the film, we get to see the gender roles of both the mother and the father and how their roles shift as they separate more and more in the film.

At the beginning of the film, it appears that the mother works more than the father. It appears that the father is more observant, however; the mother does play with the child more. In the short videos below, we see, even in the more simple aspects of life such as opening a jar or cooking dinner, the mother is portrayed as more intense and strong and the husband is shown as more soft and sensitive. In previous years the more stereotypical response would be for the mother to remain home with the child. In this culture the family structure, although it is important, it’s not the most important thing for these characters. They do not worry about the disapproval of their parents nor do they seem to be too torn up about the destruction of their own family. Both the mother and the father place a large emphasis on their success in their work and their happiness with their jobs. The mother in this film has many traits that are stereotypically associated with the opposite gender; there is word that she is an alcoholic, she is colder than the man, she does not do the cooking, and she is portrayed as very sloppy. All of these qualities are more closely related to the behavior of men in the United States. In the United States, we have a very independent culture, meaning we place a great emphasis on our own well being and thoughts as opposed to an interdependent culture that relies heavily on the relationship one develops with others. 

The lawyer in the movie, played by Laura Dern, states to the mother, “People don't accept mothers who drink too much wine and yell at their child and call him an asshole… We can accept an imperfect dad. Let's face it, the idea of a good father was only invented like 30 years ago. Before that, fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish and can all say we want them to be different. But on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely don't accept those same failings in mothers. We don't accept it structurally and we don't accept it spiritually. Because the basis of our Judeo-Christian whatever is Mary, Mother of Jesus, and she's perfect. She's a virgin who gives birth, unwaveringly supports her child and holds his dead body when he's gone. And the dad isn't there… You will always be held to a different, higher standard. And it's f$*@ed up, but that's the way it is.” I think this quote is very telling and maybe one of the most important lines in the whole film. This explains perfectly the culture that Americans portray about gender roles. The mother is expected to be the caretaker and stay with the child and it has become a new idea that the father can also be present.