Memento Mori

Music and more// Guess you can say im lost// They say we get better who cares if we're never alive? 177.6 shifting down to 120

[fuzzywerewolfhideout]

( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)

200 lbs IM COMING FOR U

[iwantthatassgap]

Me coming back to Tumbler after a relapse and pretending I haven't been offline for months:

[crownthemenace]

I dont understand how im not losing weight. Ive been to the gym the last 2 days, the 2 days before were hectic at work. Ive barely eat for the last week. Yet im up 1.8lbs. Ill never get out of the 190s let alone into the 150s again.

[crownthemenace]

Im back up to 210lbs. I think at least 5lbs of it is surgery swelling weight (i had 2 cysts and polyp removed from my ovaries). But its really pushed me back into my starve era. I wanna lose 10lbs before christmas, and then be around 170 before download next year. I will do a download being skinny.

Im gonna rejoin the gym in jan when im healed and go when i can around work.

[scremm]

You know it gets bad again when you result into going back on tumblr 💀

[crownthemenace]

I still feel gross at 180, i had dropped to one 155, but i cant be too upset when i started at 275 and havent got anywhere near that again

[crownthemenace]

Maybe if i was thinner my hookups wouldnt ghost me 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[crownthemenace]

Think im gaining again due to my pain meds. Im up 3.6lbs in 2 days but havent been eating more so maybe its water weight? Im so annoyed i wanted to be near 270 by sunday.

A side effect of these meds is nausea so ill just pretend i feel sick and pull at 36/42hr fast to try and drop it.

[crownthemenace]

Fiance insisted on ordering dominos, i ate so much. Back on the grind and im doing a 36/48 hr fast to drop it again quick. All the weight loss meds tomorrow no matter how sick they make me feel on an empty stomach.

Tomorrow:

Work 7am-3pm, 2x fat metabolisers, 2x thermogen, 2x raspberry ketones, 2x ACV. Take all the same again in the evening.

Monday:

Work 7am-3pm, 2x fat metabolisers, 2x thermogen, 2x raspberry ketones.

Eat after work monday then take all again plus 2x ACV and an orlistat.

I fucking need to be under 175 for york on the 9th.

[crownthemenace]

Orlistat is no fucking joke. I ate a tiny bit of chinese yesterday and today im shitting pure fat/oil. Its so gross seeing all that oil in the toilet, but worse to think that it could have been in my body.

[crownthemenace]

7.2lbs lost in a week, i wont be at my goal weight for the gig on tuesday, but ill be fucking close. Im just happy to see the back of the 180s again

[crownthemenace]

2 days of heavy restricting and ive finally lost the 4.8lbs to get to 180. Ive got the rest of week to continue with the routine ive been doing since my shifts are perfect. Maybe ill get to 178.

[crownthemenace]

I cant fuck by fuckbuddy again until im under 180

I cant dye my hair again until im under 180

I cant drink that coffee i have in the fridge until im under 180

Only 3.4lbs to go

[crownthemenace]

My mum asked if my work trousers were new because they looked looser on me. Ive only lost 10lbs and i dont feel i look any different. I wasnt expecting her to notice until i lost at least 20.

But i also ate more than i had in the past 4 days combined today, but im not too upset because im shattered from a concert last night and nearly passed out at work multiple times today. It was still under 1000 so i should be ok, even if im up on the scale tomorrow, itll be due to food weight, not fat.

[crownthemenace]

Wanted some advice on what other supplements to take. I currently take

A multivitimin

2 different fat metabolisers twice a day

Matcha extract

Apple cider vinegar pills 2x daily

And orlistat when needed.

Anything else that should be in the mix?

[wishingtobeskinnbones]

[crownthemenace]

Why cant i consistantly lose weight. I kkow its science, i eat below my bmr everyday (normally below 1000), i burn at least 500 cals at work everyday so i physically cant fast longer than 24h and be safe working with animals.

Why doesnt this work