I used to work at the zoo, and one time, a gorilla died of old age
Problem was, it was the only gorilla in the zoo because it wasn’t very profitable. The gorilla was by far the most popular attraction, and they couldn’t afford to go a single day without it.
So the zoo owner came up to me and said, "For an extra $100 a day, do you want to put on this gorilla costume until we can afford a new one?"
Of course, I said yes.
Pretty quickly, I became the biggest hit at the zoo. Everyone wanted to see the human-like gorilla.
About a month later, the craze started to die down, but they kept pressuring me to get people’s attention again. So, in a desperate attempt, I climbed over to where the lions were and started hanging off the net.
Suddenly, this massive crowd gathered, and everyone looked terrified. I could feel my grip slipping — I couldn't hold on any longer. I started screaming, "Help! Help!" — and then I fell.
The lion rushed toward me, and just as I thought it was over, he leaned in and whispered, "Shut the fuck up before we all get fired."
