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#if there is 1 song people associate with me i want it to be this one #it’s the greatest song ever written and my favorite song of all time #the white stripes #music

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#won therapy yesterday when my therapist affirmed i am not out of line for being mad about things my uncle said after my mom died #the man turned to me as i am standing in front of my dead mother IN HER CASKET and said #as hard as it is to lose your mother it is equally as hard to lose a sister #i could write a novel of all the rude and insensitive things he’s said or done in my lifetime #and i’d still have enough material for a second volume #he’s my uncle and i love him but i really really don’t like him

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#started with a new therapist today #made it approximately 3 minutes before i started crying #and cried through the entire session #but she seems great so far

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#it was very nice of noah kahan to put out a new album 5 weeks after my mom died #i don’t want to be happy anyway #i needed new songs to soundtrack my grief #he’s a real one for that

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#i just want my mom

15 days ago my mother died of a cold. it was very traumatic and unexpected and nothing in my life makes sense anymore so, naturally, i am 2 seasons deep in an ER rewatch.

#i am heavily medicated #shout out to citalopram & hydroxyzine

my mom died yesterday. this doesn’t feel real. i keep thinking this is just a bad dream.

i don’t really know how to live without her.

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#not to brag but i really outdid myself with the cinnamon roll focaccia i made this morning #padough doughzier my sourdough starter quite literally never lets me down #(yes my starter has 2 first names)

hyacinthlbridgerton

OUTLANDER: BLOOD OF MY BLOOD | 1.10 Something Borrowed

#yeah jamie fraser’s hot but his dad is hotter #I SAID WHAT I SAID

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#have not watched a minute of football since the chiefs season ended #and it’s been great #and it’s nice to see the etsy witches have been working overtime #vanquishing my foes & such #and i hate the hoosiers and my ideal ending would’ve been a sinkhole opening up and swallowing both teams last night #but it’s a shame that lil cutie quarterback is going to end up in las vegas and i’ll have to actively cheer on his downfall #but again it has been so nice mostly having my saturdays and sundays back

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#nah i’d rather drag my labia across concrete than cheer for any of these teams in the cfp #LEAVE YOUR CONFERENCES #PLAY WHOEVER YOU WANT TO PLAY #FIND YOUR OWN BROADCAST DEALS #KEEP YOUR REVENUE #STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR CONFERENCES #and while i’m at it #bowl games are dumb and more teams should be declining them #why risk your players health & safety for a truly meaningless game #all in the name of making some greedy fucking corporation more money

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#don’t get me wrong i am a proud hoosier #but i don’t give a FUCK about the hoosiers in any capacity #if i had my way both teams would lose the big 10 championship today #and the big 10 as a whole would be eradicated #and they’d take every last conference with them

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#my youngest niece is 10 today and i find that really hard to believe #because i swear she was just a newborn not that long ago #she has been just the most fun & joyful person since day 1 #i can’t wait to see how her next 10 years unfold

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#when i show up to the sonsio grand prix in may in head to toe RLL gear #DO NOT get it twisted #i am only here for mick #the rest of that MAGAt ass team can stay away from me

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#very nice of the chiefs to not ruin my experience seeing the chiefs #(they almost did tho)

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#god blessed me the day i was born by making me a chiefs fan #they are my team and i am with them until i die and then i’ll be cheering for them from the afterlife #but i HAAAAATE this team #the o line has been a problem for 3 years #jawan taylor specifically has been a problem since day 1 #he’s either not lined up properly or moving too early or grabbing a face mask #they call one penalty on him and the entire team melts down #and then it’s just penalty after penalty the rest of the game #and it’s so obvious pat has zero faith in his offensive line #i am going to be in arrowhead next sunday and i would really like the chiefs to not ruin my experience watching the chiefs #(they ruined it last time i saw them but made up for it by winning the super bowl that year…i have no such hopes for that this year tho)

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#can’t help but believe they brought back the night manager for me and me only

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everybody pants now!