Cruzando Universos

[haveihitanerve]

huge fan of the headcanon that Duke can just... turn invisible and no one except for the BatFam/certain Associates know/can avoid him

Like Bruce is leading Clark and Diana through the Manor and chatting and randomly walks around the middle of the hallway for no reason and Diana follows him while Clark just walks headfirst into Duke and neither Duke nor Bruce realized what they'd done

Tim is casually talking with a couple of friends he has over and randomly picks up a sandwich from the plate in the middle of the table and holds it over his shoulder where it just disappears

Steph is helping Alfred set the table and just shoves a glass bowl into the abyss and lets go and Alfred is two seconds away from screaming when he realizes 'oh, Duke is holding it' and Steph didn't even realize he wasn't visible.

Hal is gesturing while telling a story on the Watchtower and turns to look at nothing and goes "You were there, tell them" and the emptiness starts talking and Barry nearly has a heart attack until Duke flickers into existence.

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

Batlantern goes public only when there's a ring on someone's finger and the house has been drilled thoroughly on how to survive whatever interrogation that Gotham believed they were entitled to

Well, Bruce Wayne has been vocally taken (happily, might he add) for years now. The only difference was that there's a name and face for this elusive partner

Hal was prepared for an onslaught of privacy infringement and maybe some cruel comments from Gotham's more conservative blocs

What he doesn't anticipate is Gotham's people... liking him??????

The first time he goes out with the kids in broad daylight since his identity came out, street vendors are flocking to him, all mesmerized by him. Someone is pushing free food into his hands and snaps at him for trying to take out his wallet. ("Bah! I'll take it out of your husband's pocket. He's paying for all my girls' colleges anyways.")

He makes polite talk to old grannies in Damian's school, and they make a point to just gush about how Hal is everything the late Thomas and Martha would love for their boy, and absolutely thrilled about the equally unhinged glint in his eyes, reminiscent of their late lady darling's unhinged passion for the arts and the family

Dropping by Wayne Enterprises is a whole new thing. Lucius drags him down to Engineering, letting him take over, talking about the transport tech and efficiency. Hal is always looking over his shoulder to make sure people didn't think of him like a know-it-all, because he knew how much Bruce cared about his co-workers. But no, everyone in the room, interns and senior managers, were all lighting up at the prospect of meeting this incredibly brilliant and seemingly mundane-looking Mr. Jordan-Wayne to be

Hal is about 93% confused and sure that common people with half a brain were just being nice to make up for the slander that he and Bruce must be getting from the elite class.

But nope! Even the high class of Gotham are keeping their comments on the surface of decency.

Hal brings it up to Alfred at some point when the suspense becomes too much, and god knows the kids won't tell him anything.

"They're... relieved. The city is relieved by your identity, sir," the butler patiently explained.

"Relieved?"

"Well, the last two times Master Bruce appeared on the verge of marriage, it was to the heiress of Gotham's criminal underbelly, and the leading lady of an entire death cult organization. Knowing that their prince is marrying, well, a test pilot from across the country, is remarkably tame."

"...well, they're in for a ride then if they find out I'm a Green Lantern!"

[narrows eyes at him]

"Sorry."

[januariat]

college AU supercousins <3

[ghostie-ghosty]

His husband is the coolest person on earth and you'll never convince him otherwise

[burned-scones]

I wonder if the Bats ever answer honestly if a goon/villain/etc asks “what is wrong with you???” while on patrol. Like.

Dick, 10 years old: “A bunch of my classmates decided to play a racist prank on me and my teacher punished ME for reacting. I got detention!”

Goon: *taking a moment to look him up and down*

Goon: “…but you’re white.”

Dick: *looks into the camera like he’s on The Office and sighs before KOing the guy with a single punch*

Dick, talking to the unconscious goon: “I wasn’t always this white you know. I can’t help that Gotham is allergic to the sun! But also racism can be against an ethnic group! It doesn’t have to be just skin color!”

Goon: *unconscious*

Dick: “Unbelievable! Twice in one day. Today’s the freaking worst!”

——————————

Tim, 15 years old, looking haggard as he types away on his wrist computer, *sighs*: “Some jerk attacked me on my way home from buying a Father’s Day gift and it was ruined! It was expensive, too! And my girlfriend thinks I’m giving her the silent treatment, and like, I am, but not on purpose.”

Goon, tied up: “Oh…um…well, is it really the silent treatment if it’s not on purpose?”

Tim, pausing: “…you know…that’s a really good question.” *turns to Dick lurking in the corner* “Hey Nightwing—“

Dick, immediately: “—if it’s been at least three days after a few months of dating, yes, otherwise you’re fine.”

Tim, 25% more relaxed: “Oh cool! We’ve only been together officially for a month so I’m good!”

Goon: “Uh, I don’t think that’s how that works.”

——————————

Stephanie, 17, loudly fake crying to make the goons uncomfortable: “Batman was being mean to me while I’m literally on my period! How could he? He knows when my periods are! Or…at least he should! Don’t you think he should? He’d know Nightwing or Robin’s if they were girls!”

Goon 1: “Um…”

Goon 2, side whispering to Goon 1: “Yeah I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.”

Stephanie, deadpan: “Pussy.”

Goon 1: “Wha—“

Goon 3: “How dare he. What a bitch.”

Stephanie: “RIGHT???”

——————————

Jason, 20, holding a goon in a headlock during an interrogation: “As in right this very moment or in general?”

Goon, wheezing: “Are those different answers?”

Jason: “One is significantly longer than the other.”

Goon, incredulous, not expecting this in the middle of an interrogation: “Whichever’s shorter!”

Jason: “I’ve got a permanent wedgie going on right now because I bought the wrong sized underwear and honestly it’s kind of making me want to shoot you in the face if you don’t start talking in the next thirty seconds.”

Goon: “Can I change my answer?”

Jason: “Sure but the longer one’s gonna make me want to shoot you in the face in only fifteen seconds.”

Goon: “…damn.”

Jason: “It’s a hard-knock life, buddy.”

——————————

Bruce: …

Goon: …

Bruce: 😠

Goon: 😰

Bruce, backing goon up against a wall, towering above him, growling: “Your mom.”

(The goon’s mom is in fact the big bad of the night and she interrupted a very nice dinner planned with Selina.)

[papayafromtv]

do you guys think Jason takes advantage of the fact that he has so many underage vigilante siblings by telling them to secret shopper his goons and check that they adhere to the 'no selling to kids' rule? because i do and i think each child fucks up the job in their own spectacular way.

Nightwing, landing on a rooftop where Red Hood's speaking to one of his subordinates: yo, Hood, what's going on?

Jason: hey. just getting the report for that secret shopper thing i was gonna do with the Wayne kids.

Subordinate: yeah... uh, why are Bruce Wayne's kids taking part in this again?

Jason, without missing a beat: because non of their neighbours need their laws mowed and Brucie says it's important for kids their ages to start learning the responsibility of having a job. anyway, Damian was up tonight, right? who was he buying from, 'cause i already know they failed.

Subordinate: yeah, Rick let the kid buy from him, so he needs to be punished i guess. bought two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke without Rick even blinking.

Jason, frowning: yeah, call that guy up for me to 'speak' to-

Jason:

Jason: wait Damian bought what?

Subordinate: ...two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke?

Jason:

Dick: what's wrong?

Jason, shooting off a grapple: that little shit only gave me back the weed-

~

Jason: *crying with laughter in the middle of the street*

Dick, landing nearby: ...you ok Hood?

Jason: *wheezing*

Duke, faintly, from Jason's phone: ITS NOT FUNNY.

Dick: what's happened?

Jason: Duke- *wheeze* Duke was supposed to do his secret shopper assignment tonight, but he didn't read the memo properly and tried to buy from a group of four of my guys as Signal instead of himself,

Duke: -SHUT UP JASON.

Jason: *still struggling to breathe* so he- so he rocked up and asked to buy as Signal, and my guys all assumed he was arresting them for possession,

Dick: oh my god.

Jason: they dropped him everything they fucking had and bolted, and now he's panicking on the other end of Crime Alley because four peoples' entire product inventory is too much for him to carry in one go and he's scared of leaving any behind for kids to wander across, so he's- *collapses into more laughter*

Dick, in awe: he's just stuck guarding it?!

Duke, from Jason's phone, incredibly distressed: THE RATS ARE CIRCLING IN. I'M NOT USUALLY OUT THIS LATE. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO COME AND FUCKING HELP ME-

Jason: *loses it*

~

Dick: hey, Tim did his secret shopper thing tonight, right? how'd that go?

Jason: *head in his hands*

Dick: ...did the guy fail?

Jason, muffled: no.

Dick: then what happened?

Jason: i had him try to buy from the same guy as Damian, to see if he'd 'learned his lesson', and he refused to sell to Tim point blank.

Dick: ok...?

Jason: but then Tim got offended that he'd sold to Damian and not him, so he pulled a gun on the guy and robbed him instead.

Dick:

Dick: the fuck did he get a gun from-

Jason: i don't fucking know Dick.

~

*Dick and Jason getting food on patrol when Steph calls Jason*

Steph: so i did the thing and it didn't work but i don't think it didn't work because i'm a kid.

Jason: ...what do you mean?

Steph: well i walk up to these two guys and ask to buy, right? and they say sure, what do you want? and i go 'four', and these guys say 'four what' and i'm like ??? the fuck do you think? four drugs. and-

Jason: *puts his head in his hands as Dick chokes on his hotdog*

Steph: -they look at me like i'm the fucking idiot, like, you should know how to count if you're gonna be a drug dealer, it's not like you guys have cash registers to help you out, right? and they start arguing with me and telling me that clearly i'm already high—which, fuck you guys, my makeup is awesome tonight, i do not look like i did it while high, how dare you! so i said maybe they're high and i should call their boss and snitch for stealing his supply, and they were like 'nuh uh blondie, nuh uh!' all mocking and shit, so i kicked one guy in the balls and the other guy grabbed me and now they won't let me leave until i prove that you sent me.

Jason:

Dick: *crying*

Steph, brightly: so yeah, if you could come pick me up~

Jason: i hate all of you.

[stellae-something]

[papayafromtv]

do you guys think Jason takes advantage of the fact that he has so many underage vigilante siblings by telling them to secret shopper his goons and check that they adhere to the 'no selling to kids' rule? because i do and i think each child fucks up the job in their own spectacular way.

Nightwing, landing on a rooftop where Red Hood's speaking to one of his subordinates: yo, Hood, what's going on?

Jason: hey. just getting the report for that secret shopper thing i was gonna do with the Wayne kids.

Subordinate: yeah... uh, why are Bruce Wayne's kids taking part in this again?

Jason, without missing a beat: because non of their neighbours need their laws mowed and Brucie says it's important for kids their ages to start learning the responsibility of having a job. anyway, Damian was up tonight, right? who was he buying from, 'cause i already know they failed.

Subordinate: yeah, Rick let the kid buy from him, so he needs to be punished i guess. bought two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke without Rick even blinking.

Jason, frowning: yeah, call that guy up for me to 'speak' to-

Jason:

Jason: wait Damian bought what?

Subordinate: ...two eighths of weed and an ounce of coke?

Jason:

Dick: what's wrong?

Jason, shooting off a grapple: that little shit only gave me back the weed-

~

Jason: *crying with laughter in the middle of the street*

Dick, landing nearby: ...you ok Hood?

Jason: *wheezing*

Duke, faintly, from Jason's phone: ITS NOT FUNNY.

Dick: what's happened?

Jason: Duke- *wheeze* Duke was supposed to do his secret shopper assignment tonight, but he didn't read the memo properly and tried to buy from a group of four of my guys as Signal instead of himself,

Duke: -SHUT UP JASON.

Jason: *still struggling to breathe* so he- so he rocked up and asked to buy as Signal, and my guys all assumed he was arresting them for possession,

Dick: oh my god.

Jason: they dropped him everything they fucking had and bolted, and now he's panicking on the other end of Crime Alley because four peoples' entire product inventory is too much for him to carry in one go and he's scared of leaving any behind for kids to wander across, so he's- *collapses into more laughter*

Dick, in awe: he's just stuck guarding it?!

Duke, from Jason's phone, incredibly distressed: THE RATS ARE CIRCLING IN. I'M NOT USUALLY OUT THIS LATE. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO COME AND FUCKING HELP ME-

Jason: *loses it*

~

Dick: hey, Tim did his secret shopper thing tonight, right? how'd that go?

Jason: *head in his hands*

Dick: ...did the guy fail?

Jason, muffled: no.

Dick: then what happened?

Jason: i had him try to buy from the same guy as Damian, to see if he'd 'learned his lesson', and he refused to sell to Tim point blank.

Dick: ok...?

Jason: but then Tim got offended that he'd sold to Damian and not him, so he pulled a gun on the guy and robbed him instead.

Dick:

Dick: the fuck did he get a gun from-

Jason: i don't fucking know Dick.

~

*Dick and Jason getting food on patrol when Steph calls Jason*

Steph: so i did the thing and it didn't work but i don't think it didn't work because i'm a kid.

Jason: ...what do you mean?

Steph: well i walk up to these two guys and ask to buy, right? and they say sure, what do you want? and i go 'four', and these guys say 'four what' and i'm like ??? the fuck do you think? four drugs. and-

Jason: *puts his head in his hands as Dick chokes on his hotdog*

Steph: -they look at me like i'm the fucking idiot, like, you should know how to count if you're gonna be a drug dealer, it's not like you guys have cash registers to help you out, right? and they start arguing with me and telling me that clearly i'm already high—which, fuck you guys, my makeup is awesome tonight, i do not look like i did it while high, how dare you! so i said maybe they're high and i should call their boss and snitch for stealing his supply, and they were like 'nuh uh blondie, nuh uh!' all mocking and shit, so i kicked one guy in the balls and the other guy grabbed me and now they won't let me leave until i prove that you sent me.

Jason:

Dick: *crying*

Steph, brightly: so yeah, if you could come pick me up~

Jason: i hate all of you.

[robs-your-robins]

It happens very rarely but Batman being at a scene with all of the vigilantes is a sight that triggers two responses.

"We're fucked" because why does Batman need all his backup. Robin, yeah that's normal, Batgirl too, maybe but Nightwing? Red Hood? Spoiler? Red Robin? And The fucking Signal too??? "We're screwed".

"awww" because look it's a big Mama Bat, look at his babies following after him like ducklings (they're arguing, complaining, one of them is snacking, one looks barely semi-conscious)

[bat-raccoonz]

I feel like all the batkids have stolen Bruce's credit/debit/(whatever it is in English) card in order to annoy him/make him mad. Except... well, he's glad they do so. That's basicly a love language of his.

(In no order ↓)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dick!Robin: I stole your (Idk) card and bought myself the most expansive thing I could find! *presents a fairly expansive comic book*

Bruce: good job, chum.

Dick!Robin, now confused: yeah, thanks..?

- - -

Damian: I bought a cat tree for Alfred (the cat)

*gestures at a cat tree the size of a truck, complete with something that looks vaguely like a training course.*

Bruce, kinda impressed: that's good, I like the colour you picked.

Damian:

- - -

Jason, not fully back home and angry at Bruce: I used your money to pay for my house

Bruce feeling glad, but in the most monotone voice: how did you get that?

Jason, thinking he cracked the secret to angering him: a magician never reveals his secrets.

- - -

Cass, pointing at a white statue of her:

Bruce, touched and actually emotional: where did you get that? It looks great, we'll put it in the garden.

- - -

Tim, playing a game on a suspiciously expansive looking gaming set-up that wasn't there before: hey boss.

Bruce, mentally noting down the game: morning sweetheart.

Tim, bafled:

- - -

Duke, feeling kind off bad: Bruce, I might've bought something with you money.

Bruce: that's okay, sunshine, what did you get yourself?

Duke, somehow feeling worse about what he did: just something little.

Bruce: okay sunshine

- - -

Stephanie, after buying the ugliest piece of Spoiler merch she could find: sooo bossman, whatcha think?

Bruce, wearing a too-small purple t-shirt with a slightly tilted Spoiler logo: it's too small and you really could've gotten a better quality one with my money.

Stephanie: will do next time!

Bruce, waving a good bye as she skips away: you do that, sweety

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

I like to think that, in the batlantern/batfamily, Hal was only ever "Bruce's boyfriend" at first

Sure, he's funny and the old man is a little more tolerable because Hal is around to tamper down his temper on everyone's behalf, but the kids, for the most part, had only ever seen Hal as a fifo roommate who kisses their dad and has clearance just a level below their own

...until they got kidnapped in space.

They forgot who started it; but somehow with each person who got kidnapped in a rogue airship within the solar system, another two followed in an attempt to "rescue" them.

Now Dick, Jason, Damian, Tim and Cass were all comically suspended in cages, bickering about who gets to execute the rescue protocol and have to explain to Bruce why they're on an off-planet mission that he specifically blacklisted any heroes of their level to go on

Mid-bickering, the ship experiences trouble. The aliens are panicking, and they're all but ready to leverage the lives of their 5 young Earthling hostages to get out of the solar system aliev

And then there stood Hal Jordan, Greatest Green Lantern that Ever Lived, the Man Without Fear in all his furious glory

He starts speaking in tongues at the aliens, but the aura was very much giving "Give me back those kids and then FUCK OFF from MY solar system!"

The aliens are simpering apologies as they carefully free the kids under the discerning gaze of a clearly pissed off looking Green Lantern

Dick at least thought there would be a fight, but the aliens digressed.

"We apologize sincerely, Lantern Jordan. We did not know these were your children!"

"And if they weren't? Kidnapping them is fine? 😠 They're literally babies! It is not safe for them to be away from home for so long! 😤"

"Yes sir, we are so sorry now please do not make us all explode internally..."

Tim makes the mistake of coughing. COUGHING. It's just dust, he swears, but Hal goes livid and the cussing starts all over again because "THESE BABIES ARE CHRONICALLY ILL 🤬 HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN SCAN YOUR HOSTAGES YOU GALACTIC AMATEURS"

And the kids are just... babies? We're Hal's babies? When did that happen?

Cut to them being inside of the Watchtower, guiltily eating Batburgers while Hal is on a call with the Lanterns of the next sector about how "MY BOYFRIEND'S KIDS GOT KIDNAPPED BECAUSE A PIRATE ENTITY TRESPASSED YOUR SECTOR INTO MINE 😰😠"

Bruce isn't doing anything.

Matter of fact, that man is figuring out how to give Hal a baby.

[nina-s0]

Head cannon that even though Bruce is against tattoos (because he thinks they make u far too identifiable) the bat brothers have em anyways because why tf would they listen to Bruce, what were u expecting really?

Also I think the tattoos they have are accidently matching. They all have the Robin symbol.

Dick has the Robin R over his heart. Tattooed by Roy sometime after Bruce fired dick. Was it stupid? Yes. Does he regret it? No. He got it originally to keep his parents close to his heart. Then to keep Jason near his heart after Jason died. Then to keep as a reminder that all his brothers were robin. And that they were Dick's Robin's.

Jason got a Robin R tattooed at the pulse point on his neck. It's crudely drawn and fading, but he did it himself whilst in the league of assassins. He likes the dramatic irony of it. He is a literature nerd after all.

Tim has the Robin R on his ankle. It's bold and hard to hide but that was on point. He was drunk. And sad. And had just recently took up the mantle of red Robin when he got it tatooed by Leslie. He got for himself. As a reminder for what robin stood for.

Steph got it on her collar bone. Right under a left over scar she had from black mask. Cass did it for her. It was small and easy to cover up. Steph liked it. She figured it was accurate for her robin anyway.

Duke got the robin R tatooed behind his ear when he led the "we are robin." movement. He was angry and proud and he wanted to show it. It was wonky and done by a teenager in a Gotham alley but he liked it like that. After all robin definitely wasn't perfect.

Damian got it tatooed on his wrist. His is by far the most visible. He's proud. Proud to be apart of the legacy of the robins. (not Batmans, nor the al ghuls, the robins) It was a promise. To himself. To everyone else too, but mainly himself.

Errr also yeah Tim deffo got a sleeve done at some point, Jason has a back tat 100%, dick has one of them cool collarbone ones that look like rope, duke has his parents initials on his forearm, Steph deffo has a black widow quote somewhere on her body and Damian has stars littered on his shoulders.

[welcometothejunglebitch6138474]

Clark and Bruce thinking Clark's jealousy and possessiveness and obsession with Bruce is a Kryptonian thing. Bruce feeling like the crazy one because he's just as obsessed and possessive and jealous but there's no biological imperative driving him like it's driving Clark. Until Kara talks to Clark one day and is like.....No girl we were normal on Krypton that's all you. You guys are just Weird™.

Anyways I would like to read more jealous!Bruce fics so drop some recs pls

[arkhamochi]

unconditional filiality ☺️

[robs-your-robins]

Wally: Why are there no Flying Graysons any more? I get there was the whole accident or something but why didn't they just, I don't know, just continue it on?

Dick: Well, it was a family business and 60% of my family weren't breathing.

Wally:

Dick: It sort of made it hard to do flips and stuff. Yeah 😐

[papayafromtv]

goodie two-shoes newly adopted jason todd is one of the funniest fucking things to come out of the batfamily fandom, actually. y’all remember that episode of the office us where dwight gets fired and the day afterwards micheal is all sad like ‘why haven’t the cleaning ladies arranged the toys in my office and watered my plants?’ and everybody tells him ‘no dwight used to do that.’ ? in the funniest way possible i want this to be bruce and jason.

jason todd who was such a sweet eager-to-please kid. he literally adored bruce for taking him in and letting him be robin, so he was doing literally anything he could think of to make his adoption worthwhile to bruce. being the model student at school, keeping his room immaculately clean, training as much as he could--the enthusiasm was genuinely baffling to bruce, who up until that point had only ever dealt with dick motherfucking grayson as a child under his care. at first he thought something was wrong with jason, or that he was covering something up. alfred had to pull him aside after a few months just like 'no he's genuinely this much of a people pleaser, master bruce. this isn't an act'. they had no idea what to do with this kid.

bruce doesn't even know most of the stuff jason does, he just assumes these little things Happen to Happen, and doesn't consider that it isn't alfred or that it might not be a coincidence. he counts himself lucky that jason is a well behaved kid and doesn't look too far into the details of how far that behaviour goes. so through the years after jason's death, bruce is genuinely just... fucking baffled.

"alfred, why did you stop making those little smoothie pots and leaving them in the fridge for my breakfasts? i really liked them, but you never have them anymore."

"...what smoothie pots?"

"the ones you always left in the door of the fridge for me, with the post-it notes telling me to have a good morning."

"i have never made you a smoothie pot, master bruce. i fear this was another of jason's little habits."

"...shit."

"indeed."

"so you don't know how to make these smoothie pots?"

like- i want jason to have literally been doing the most random fucking stuff you can think of. he was organising bruce's sock drawer, watering the plants in the downstairs bathroom, stapling together all the WE files in bruce's office so that bruce wouldn't misplace any of them. he was going above and beyond to make bruce's life as easy as possible in any way he could think of for YEARS, and he did it all so quietly that bruce never noticed until jason wasn't around anymore and all of a sudden his life was real fuckin' inconvenient and he had no idea why.

i just think it would be funny if red hood does a big identity reveal in front of all the bats and bruce just instantly bursts into tears in jason's arms weeping about how 'alfred let the fern die and they had to buy a new mop bucket because nobody knew where jason had stored it last' and jason is just. very confused holding a sobbing batman because he genuinely forgot that he used to do any of that stuff. meanwhile dick's in the background next to tim and he's just like 'so were you the one that organised the west attic? 'cause tim thinks it was the spirit of thomas wayne and we've been arguing about it for six months.'

bonus points if the league of assassins comes into it because at some point talia comes to visit damian and her and bruce get to chatting about jason, and bruce gets all teary and fond as he waxes poetic about how amazing and helpful jason was as a kid living around the manor, all the stuff he used to do, and then he turns to talia to ask what he was like living with her and she looks at him with the eyes of a long-dead veteran to tell him 'within his first two months he'd blown up two watchtowers, taught damian to call us all slurs in six different languages, and shaved a strip of my father's hair off while he was asleep. over his time with us he has personally contributed to the creation of ninety-three new rules around the compound, and the day before he left for gotham i personally watched him set fire to one of our helicopters.' and then there's just a really awkward period of silence because bruce has no idea what to say to that because HIS time with jason was fuckin great.

[ultraviolettefan]

Jason, storming into the Manor: "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!"

Tim, raising a brow: "What crawled up your ass?"

Jason: "HIM! DICK-FUCKING-GRAYSON!"

Cass: "What did he do this time?"

Jason: "WHAT DIDN'T HE DO?!"

Tim, rolling his eyes: "It's the same song and dance with those two."

Jason, grumbling: "Perfect little golden boy my ass-" Picks up a vase.

Bruce, tired: "Stop. No. Just- here." Gives Jason a jar with milk inside.

Jason: "? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?"

Bruce: "Let your frustrations out with it. Shake it until you're no longer angry."

Jason: "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Bruce: "Better than you shattering one of my mother's vases again."

Jason: ".... Fine." Takes the jar and starts shaking aggressively.

Cass: "Momma, what's in that jar?"

Bruce, petting Ace: "You'll see."

Jason: "What the-?? Why is it turning solid?!"

Tim: "!! Is that milk??"

Bruce, burying face in Ace's fur: (Muffled) "Yeah."

Jason, baffled: "?! YOU'RE USING MY ANGER TO MAKE BUTTER?!" More aggressive shaking.

Bruce: "Okay stop, that's enough. It's formed now."

Jason, confused as fuck: "I can't believe you made me put all my anger into making butter."

Bruce: "Hush. At least you have butter now. You like the ones from Texas Roadhouse, right? You said they go nicely with the bread?"

Jason, hopeful: "....Yeah?"

Later

Dick, finally coming home after arguing with Jason: "I'm home. Listen Jay, I'm really sorry about- why do I smell fresh bread??"

Bruce, cuddling Jason: "Welcome home, Chum."

Jason, mouth full of bread: "Shut the fuck up, dickwad. You can't have any."

Dick: "??? Rude-"

Idk man, this just came to me while watching yet another reel of someone making butter. (What is it with me and dairy today-)

[ultraviolettefan]

Red Hood: "I think this plan is stupid."

Superman, knowing that Jason is just fucking with him at this point: "..."

Superman, finally losing his patience: "Let me tell you something, Red Hood."

Red Hood: "What."

Superman: "You may be playing chess, but I'm fucking your mom."

The Justice League: 😦

Batman: 🤦🏻‍♂️

Red Hood: "WHAT?!"