idk what it is as of late, but I truly do not feel like I want to be here. like, I stay in peoria for my family. I stay on this earth for my friends. life is mundane and repetitive. I've wanted to cease existence for a few years now, I just can't find the courage to do it. all in all, the only people I really worry about are my nephews. I don't want to scar them with the knowledge of suicide so young. I know everyone else would understand(?) if I were to do it, but the boys wouldn't at all and I don't think I'd want them to.














