Growing up as a boy in elementary school and junior high, I actively avoided having any kind of relationship with girls, even friendships, because of adults sexualizing us.
It wasn’t physical. I didn’t have a sexy body (still don’t), but the teachers and my mom were constantly watching for who was “sweet on” who else and gossiping, and I had enough anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD/autism/whatever things going on already, plus homework and the usual pressures of school.
Mom volunteered at school a lot, the faculty and staff knew her, and anything that happened to me within a couple days led to a “is there something special that happened at school you want to tell me about” from my smiling mom on the drive home. (Dad grew up in Chicago and hated living in cities, so we always lived in some exurb with nothing around, 20+ minutes from school and my friends.)
So I got really good (as I’m sure many here can relate) at controlling every last scrap of information that could be a problem later. Which, since I couldn’t just threaten folks into silence, always meant not creating the information in the first place.
It never stops either! After I brought my mom to open house at work once (I was 40), one of my female coworkers came up to me afterwards and said my mom had been asking them if there was anyone I was interested in.
And if I complain, it’s suddenly my fault because I’m not letting her be a mother!
So for the rest of her life, mom is getting a curated, museum set piece version of my life.
“Why don’t you cut her out of your life?” While she is not my enemy, there is wisdom in “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer,” that I feel applies in my particular case.
Sexualizing kids hurts all of us. I’m in full agreement with the folks above. It needs to stop.
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
pixelskylines
gummygunk
kianamaiart
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