Once upon a time, there was a Savior and a Pirate. No matter the time, the place or the situation, they would always find each other, following each other to the end of the world or time; even death couldn't keep them apart. Their love was not only true but timeless. This is their story.
Captain Swan is My Favorite Rom Com: Far and Away, Part Three
Here’s a teaser of part three of my Captain Swan AU of the Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman movie Far and Away. This chapter was the one with the most angst, but I really loved how it turned out. If you want to read the rest of it as well as parts one and two, you can find it here
Ao3
Rating: High T for suggestive scenes
Words: 9,000 + (yes, just for this one chapter!)
Emma cleaned up their meager meal while Killian wearily took off his wet, muddy clothes. They no longer bothered with modesty. Once Killian’s wet clothes were hung by the open fire to dry, Emma peeled off her own clothing. Normally, Killian was already asleep at this point, but tonight, with his mind turning over itself, he was still awake. He watched her from where he lay curled on the floor as she quickly stepped out of her dress and layers of skirt. She had discarded her corset long ago, explaining that it had gotten too big for her anyway. Only further evidence of how thin she had become. In only her shift and pantaloons, she slipped under the one blanket they shared.
The rain had finally stopped, but in its place was a biting, howling wind. It shook the rickety tent, causing the cold to seep under and through. Emma shivered, her teeth chattering. She wriggled closer to Killian, pressing her nose to his back. It was frigid through his undershirt.
“H-hold me K-Killian,” she tremored, “I’m … so c-cold.”
Killian turned to face her, pulling her close. She sighed deeply as she buried her face against the crook of his neck. He drew the blanket tighter around them, wishing to lend her all the warmth he could. She fell asleep quickly, her hands curled against his chest. As he held her, it came to him again. 22 Charles River Square. If he truly loved her – and he knew now beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did – he would want her to have her best chance at happiness. At that wasn’t with him.
“Killian, where are we going? This is a really, really nice neighborhood.”
Killian turned to see Emma stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, huddled against the cold, with a confused look upon her face. He gave her a sad smile. “Rich people have work. Come on.”
He knew he would have to tell her eventually. Preferably before he knocked on her parents’ door. But not yet. He told himself it was because she might refuse to go, but he knew deep down that wasn’t true. What reason did she have to stay with him? And that, in the end, was the real reason he was delaying telling her. Because as soon as he told her, he would no longer be able to deny the inevitable.
That he was about to lose her. The same way he had lost everyone else he had ever loved.
He glanced behind him to see Emma sinking onto a wrought iron bench. He hurried to her, glancing around nervously.
“Emma,” he encouraged, “you can’t stop here. This neighborhood … they’ll call the police.”
He managed to hoist her up, and she sagged against him. “Please, Killian,” she murmured, “I’m so tired.”
He slung her arm over his shoulder and managed a wry laugh. “All the more reason not to lie down. It’s below freezing; you’ll never wake up.”
The thought had his heart racing with dreaded fear. Please God, he prayed, I know I should have taken her to her family long ago. Please don’t let it be too late. He saw a family up ahead unloading groceries from the back of an open buggy. Seeing it as providence, he hurried to them. He let go of Emma and started helping with the load, despite the fearful look from the woman who ushered her two small children quickly into the house.
“I’m looking for work,” Killian told the man, who snatched angrily at the box Killian had just hoisted from the wagon. Killian hurried on, despite the man’s hostility. “I’m strong and willing to take on any task.”
“I don’t hire Irish,” the man snapped, turning his back.
“Killian,” Emma called, and he turned to see her swaying on her feet. He rushed to her, tears pricking at his eyes.
“Please, sir,” he begged, “my wife is starving.” When the man shook his head, Killian grasped at his arm desperately. “She’s … she’s with child. Please, have pity on us!”
“I don’t hire Irish!” the man shouted, wrenching his arm free. “Now get out of here before I call the police!”
Killian stood there, unmoving, until he felt Emma tugging on his arm. “Killian, please,” she begged, “just let it go.”
With a deep sigh, he did as Emma asked, and they moved on, leaning into the wind. He kept his arm around Emma, hoping to shield her from the cold.
“Why did you say I was your wife?” she asked him softly.
Killian shrugged. “It seemed a more sympathetic story.”
He bit his lip lest he add, and sometimes I pretend that it’s true.
Here’s a teaser from my Captain Swan AU of One Fine Day, the 90s movie with George Clooney and Michelle Pfieffer. If you want to read the full story, just click on the link to Ao3 below.
Remember if you have any contributions to this summer fandom event, be it fics or artwork (old and new), just tag it #csromcom18 and then tag me, @searching wardrobes.
Rating: G
Words: 13,000 +
Trigger Warning: Large doses of Daddy!Killian may cause side effects to your ovaries.
Emma flushes again as she snatches the phone and drops it into her purse. She then pulls his out and hands it to him.
“And your mother says she’s sorry she can’t watch Henry and it has nothing to do with him shoving her ring up his nose,” Killian continues as he takes his phone from her. “Any messages for me?”
“No,” Emma replies, then can’t help snidely adding, “she never called back to tell you the color of her bra.” Let him know she sees right through the cute dad routine. Underneath it all, Killian Jones is still a typical male with only one thing on his mind. She needs to remember that.
Killian’s eyebrows raise, and Emma crosses her arms and flips her hair, suddenly feeling as if she’s an open book. He grins slowly, like a cat about to snatch the canary. He then shoves his hands into his pockets, takes a step right into her personal space, and leans towards her ear.
“That was my editor, just my editor. I was trying to get a rise out of you, Swan.” He leans away, cocking his head, and sticking his tongue out a bit. Then his smile grows wider. “Mission accomplished, I see.”
“Please,” Emma scoffs, “I could care less whose panties you have or have not been acquainted with.”
“But you were checking me out when I was putting my watch on Maggie just now,” he counters.
“I was just shocked it was a grown man and not a child with that puppet,” Emma quips flatly.
“Love your guy like a little boy and he’ll grow into a man.”
“What?”
Killian takes another step closer, “It’s advice my mom used to give.”
Emma snorts, “She gave you advice about loving a man?”
Now it was Killian’s turn to roll his eyes. “No, it was so I could find the right woman someday. You know, that, that … complex they say men have. They even wrote a book about it – The Peter Pan complex.”
“Please, you don’t have a Peter Pan complex. If anything, you have a Captain Hook complex.”
“What the bloody hell is that?”
Emma is flustered for a moment. She isn’t even sure why those words had come out of her mouth. You wear insanely tight pants, have a larger-than-life personality, and seem like a guy who can pillage and plunder my heart until nothing is left. Yeah, no. She can’t say any of that. Instead she glares at him and snaps, “I don’t know, but whatever it is, you have it.”
Captain Swan is My Favorite Rom Com: Ever After, part one
Ever After: Part One
Here’s a teaser for part one of my Captain Swan Ever After AU. It’s more fairytale than the movie. If you want to read more, click on the Ao3 link below. Remember, if you want to contribute a story or artwork to this event, tag it #csromcom18 and then tag me so I can reblog it. All movie AUs are welcome!
Rating: G
Word Count: 9,000+
“Is that any way to speak to a lady?” another cultured voice rings out.
The driver turns instantly pale as he pulls away from Emma. Emma’s heart begins to pound violently in her chest as she slowly turns around, keeping her eyes trained on the cobblestone street. August had said a true courtier looks down to no one. But this is the prince. Who has also seen her before, but as a peasant throwing apples. She bobs in a tight curtsy, but knows August is right, she must lift her eyes to face the prince if the ruse has any hope of working. She’s no longer grimy with dirt under her finger nails and soot staining her cheeks. She’s wearing a glittering blue dress instead of brown rags. And her golden hair is twisted into an elegant bun at the nap of her neck instead of blowing crazy and free in a mass of curls. Still, she prays like never before as her gaze meets that of the prince that he doesn’t recognize her.
But Prince Killian at the moment isn’t even looking her way, instead gazing angrily at the carriage driver. It gives her a moment to take him in, something she hadn’t had time for this morning. He has that dark skin tone that all of the royal family of Avelor possess, as well as thick, dark hair that curls just a bit at the nape of his neck. His eyes are his most well-known attribute; even peasant maidens around the village well gush about how sparkling blue they are. Emma sees now that those stories have not been exaggerated. The prince is clearly angry, his arms crossed over his chest, his jaw clenching. That jaw is a strong, masculine one covered in attractive dark scruff.
Captain Swan is My Favorite Rom Com: 13 Going on 30, part one
13 Going on 30: Part One
I had so much fun writing this childhood best friends Captain Swan AU! Below is a teaser of the fic. If you’d like to read the entire thing, you can click on the link to Ao3 below.
Just a reminder to tag any fics for this summer even #csromcom18. It would also be helpful to tag me as well, that way I’ll get an alert from tumblr. If I have missed something you’ve written for this event, don’t hesitate to message me or send me an ask and let me know!
Rating: G
Words: About 10,000
Triggers: Little!Emma and Little!Killy may cause tooth decay from excessive fluffiness. And Emma calls him Killy a LOT in this ;)
Emma shuffled nervously outside the apartment door Astrid had sent her to. She knocked, but when a stretch of time went by, she impatiently knocked again.
“Coming!” a deep voice sounded from the other sound of the door. “I’m getting my wallet!”
A moment after that, the door swung open. Emma’s mouth fell agape and her eyes widened at the man who stood before her.
“You’re not my Chinese food,” he said with a voice like warm honey.
“Killian?”
She shook her head slightly, taking him in head to toe. His hair had darkened to an even deeper shade of black, and while it was still a little messy, it was thicker. His eyes were still that familiar shade of sparkling blue, the trait that let her know it was really him. Whether he still had freckles she wasn’t sure, because dark scruff covered his very masculine jaw. Masculine was the best word to describe the person who stood before her. No longer was Killian a cute little boy. No longer could anyone call him Noodle, either. He was still of slender build, but his t-shirt stretched over hard muscle. Emma blinked in shock. Her best friend had grown up to be insanely hot. Who would have guessed it way back when?
All of these thoughts flew through Emma’s mind in the space of a heartbeat. Killian eyed her in obvious surprise as well.
“Emma?”
“Oh, Killy!” she cried out, throwing herself into his arms.
It felt so strange to be able to press her face into his shoulder when earlier today – yesterday? 17 years ago? – she had to look down in order to look in his eyes. His arms came up around her hesitantly, his hands patting her back awkwardly. Yet she could still feel the hard strength of his muscles. And never in her life had he smelled so good.
“I need your help,” she whispered into his shoulder.
PSA for the Summer Captain Swan Movie AU Fandom Event
As many of you know, tumblr has been frustrating lately by dropping notifications. Tagging people seems to be hit or miss lately. Also, I have noticed that if you search the tags #csromcom18 or #csromcom2018, not everything posted shows up. @dassala had posted three chapters of her Pretty Woman AU before I knew about it, and that was only because it just happened to run across my dash. And tumblr seems determined to block @flslp87 from me completely!
So … . if I have missed any movie AU art or fics that you created for this, I promise it was not intentional. Please, please, please private message me or send an ask if I haven’t reblogged something within 24 hours. I don’t want to overlook anyone. Also, I’ve been asked if certain movies are okay or not for this. The whole “rom com” thing is just a cute title: ANY movie AUs are welcome, rom com or not. (I have a Jason Bourne AU coming up, okay?)
Join Killian and Emma in this new powerful love story by flslp87.tumblr.com
Reposted for @searchingwardrobes neat little event is my take on an older movie, The Promise. And that amazing video was put together by my friend @duathadun
Captain Swan is my favorite Rom Con
The Promise
A Captain Swan AU
Killian and Emma, two people longing for love. Come along on their journey of True Love, filled with romance, passion, and challenges as they fight for their Happy Beginning in The Promise.
Special thanks to @duathadun @hellomommanerd @linda8084 @juliakaze
Can be found on Tumblr (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14)
(15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27)
Can be found on FF (Rating changed to M)
Can be found on AO3 (Rating will remain T to T+)
Join 57 authors and 22 illustrators as they collaborated to bring you Emma and Killian’s story from start to finish. Inside you will find 62 stories—deleted scenes and canon divergences, rating from G all the way up to M—covering all the most important Captain Swan moments through the years. In addition, there are 9 vendors who have special Captain Swan Merchandise just for you. With 506 pages and over 176,000 words, there is something for everyone.
Sit back and enjoy and be sure to let the authors and artists know your thoughts.
click —- CSSB, Vol 2
Please reblog so that everyone has an opportunity to see this.
Some people are having trouble reading the CSSB from the yumpu site and have asked for another way to read it. If you reach out to @flslp87 I can help with that.
Some people are having trouble reading the CSSB from the yumpu site and have asked for another way to read it. If you reach out to @flslp87 I can help with that.
I’m trying to read the lovely stories of the CS Storybook on my ipad. I’ve tried in Safari, Chrome, downloaded the Yumpu ad - and nothing seems to work. There’s no go to page and it keeps reloading every 20 minutes or so. It’s driving me nuts - even though I am enjoying the reading I can do. Is there anyway I can find this in another format - pdf, epub or similar?
Sorry, I didn’t see this earlier. I can email you a pdf version of it. Send me, flslp87, your email address and i will send it along.
Stuck in the Dark - Once Upon a Captain Swan Storybook, Vol 2
Thank you so much @the-savior-and-the-pirate for the amazing artwork you created for this contribution to the @csstorybook. I would also like to thank @whimsicallyenchantedrose and @flslp87 for putting this project together and for including me and all of the other writers and artists who worked hard to make this happen.
Here’s a sneak peek of my part from season 5. Follow the link at the end to read the entire book. Hope you enjoy reading!
A collaborative story by @flslp87 @hellomommanerd @ilovemesomekillianjones and @whimsicallyenchantedrose with artwork by @sailingcaptainswan
Summary: A deleted scene during the Camelot scenes of 5-03, between the time that Emma leaves the room where she is with Regina, Belle, Snow, David and possibly Zelena and the scene of David’s Knighting Ceremony.
Killian’s Quest
5x03 Siege Perilous
~~~~~~~~~~~
Emma hurried from the tower where Merlin's room was located and went in search of a little peace. A place where she didn't feel torn apart in such a way that she wasn't sure if she could ever be put back together. She was the savior, yet in trying to be the savior, she had ended up the Dark One and now her family and others she cared about were trying to save her. Most of the time, she felt grateful, yet there were also times when she felt resentment. Two sides at war and she never knew which side was going to be stronger.
"Emma?" She heard her name being called and for a split-second thought about poofing away, even though she knew that she shouldn't be having those thoughts.
Taking a deep breath, she turned just as Robin came around the corner. "Hi, Robin. Did you need something?” The look he gave her was the same one that everyone kept giving her, reinforcing her desire to run away and hide. "I'm fine, Robin,” she told him tiredly before he even had a chance to say anything.
He studied her face, she was sure looking for some sign as to her darkoneness. "Any success toward freeing Merlin?" he finally asked.
"A little," she sighed. "Regina's still in Merlin's room with Zelena. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you checking on her." She felt bad for trying to get rid of him but when she was around most people, the act of trying to be normal was taxing.
He nodded his head in thanks and turned to walk away. After a few steps, he looked back, "Oh, and Emma,” he hesitated a bit, “we'll work this out... together."
She smiled at him, knowing it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I know." As she walked away, she thought about going to the beautiful chambers she had been assigned, but when she was in there alone, she had too much time to think. When that happened, the image of Rumpelstiltskin kept showing up telling her things she didn't want to hear and the only way to clear her head was to find her pirate. He had a special knack for distracting her, he always had, and she needed that ability of his right now.
Making her way through the halls of the castle, she eventually found herself outside. The fresh air was a start in the right direction. She wandered out toward the gardens to the east, focusing on the detailed landscaping and she felt her body beginning to relax. She’d been so tense in that small room, unable to help with their current crisis, unable to settle in her own skin. Emma closed her eyes and listened to the sounds around her, she inhaled deeply of the earth. Just as she started to appreciate the peace that surrounded her she heard the devilish cackle of Rumpelstiltskin echo in her mind. She squeezed her eyes tighter, trying to force him from her thoughts. Emma could feel the tears forming behind her lids, forcing their way to the corners of her eyes. She couldn’t let him get the best of her.
“Ya can’t get rid of me that easily, Dearie,” he snickered. “Try as you might-”
Suddenly a firm pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, causing her to jump. She spun around to find herself face-to-face with her beautiful, blue-eyed pirate. “Killian,” she gasped in relief. She circled her arms around his waist, slamming into him and burrowing her head into his chest. She felt the hot tears fall as she breathed in his comforting scent. Dizziness clouded her head as the relief merged with happiness and bordered on hysteria. Feeling her knees buckle, she slouched against him more, she needed his support in every way. Emma had never voluntarily let herself be this vulnerable in her adult life, and as much as it grated against every fiber of her being, she needed this, she needed him.
Killian stroked his hand up and down her back comfortingly. “I’ve got you, love,” he whispered into her hair. It pained him beyond all measure to see Emma like this, he knew she hated it. All he’d ever wanted was for her to trust him, lean on him, but this was hard to see from his tough lass. “Tell me what you need. Tell me what to do, Swan.”
“Just hold me, Killian,” she said in a broken voice.
Killian did as she asked, wrapping her tighter in his arms and holding her head to his chest, letting her tears soak through his vest and shirt. He hated feeling so helpless.
“It’s this darkness,” Emma sniffled finally, “I can’t get rid of it, Killian. It’s with me always, and I’m just so tired. I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of trying to be strong. I can’t even escape in sleep. It’s like the worst nightmare of my life that I can never wake from.”
“Swan,” Killian said gently, “I know it’s probably cold comfort, but just know that you are not alone. All of us will do all we can to help you.”
Emma pulled back far enough to look into his face. “I know you are, Killian, and I love you for it. And honestly? It’s…better when you’re with me. When you’re holding me, I almost feel like my old self again.”
Killian wiggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. “Well, love, if that’s the case, I suppose I shall just have to keep you within the shelter of my arms. Whatever shall we find to do during the long nights you lay awake? I suspect we can manage to find something to occupy us that’s far more enjoyable than making dreamcatchers, aye?”
Emma laughed. “Believe me, I’d be all for that, babe, but I don’t think so. Not now; not when the darkness is here with me. When we’re together, you know, like that, I want it to be just you and me. Not you, me, and the darkness in my ear whispering suggestions.”
Killian grimaced. “Aye, fair point, love. No matter. It will be something to look forward to when we’ve freed you from the darkness.”
Emma searched his face carefully. “We’ve been here a couple days, and we’ve made no progress. Do you really think we’re going to succeed?”
Killian nodded forcefully. “There’s not a shred of doubt in my mind, love.”
Emma sighed deeply, leaning in to rest her head once more on his chest. “I hope you’re right.”
“Of course I am,” Killian said. “Now, while we wait for your father to return with the crimson crown, how about we pass the time with a tale?”
Rolling her eyes, but not suppressing the smile that he could always bring out of her, she dropped her hand into his and interlaced their fingers. “You’re going to tell me a story?”
“Aye.”
“About what, dueling another pirate captain? Secret deals with Peter Pan?”
“Not this time, love,” he punctuated the words with light kisses to her hand and head.
She felt some of the tension drain, and let herself be swept up in his charm.
“Today I will share with you the time I sailed the Jolly Roger to an ancient realm in search of a treasure that would grant the holder special powers. I was approached by a deposed king who was desperate to get his hands on an object. Along the way I-”
“Wait,” Emma interrupted, “what special powers? What king?”
“Ah, love, you are going to have to wait for that bit, because it’s the journey I wish to tell.”
Emma laughed. “A pirate sent on a quest.”
Killian held his finger to his lips and silently shushed her. “Pirates do not, as a practice, take on missions from kings when it is their sworn duty to pillage from those very same rulers.”
He had a point, and so Emma was confused. “So then why?”
“To put it bluntly, I lost a wager.”
“A wager with the king?” Emma squeezed his arm. “Tell me more.”
“It began on an evening in a tavern, and a bit too much rum. Of course, the monarch was dressed in the garb of a crofter, and I was past the point of realizing I was being duped. Before long, I was indebted to the man, and with a tavern full of witnesses, I was obliged to fulfill my debt. So, the next morning I gathered my crew,” Killian continued, “and we set out with a small bag of gold and a vial of potion, both courtesy of the gentleman.”
His voice had taken on that low, soothing tone, and Emma was caught up in his recount of how a day into his journey, they had found an old woman who needed to cross a strait he was navigating, and her insistence that Killian carry her to the ship on his back. He nearly drowned before reaching the boat and only upon taking her to her destination did he discover she was an enchantress, working for the king. She gifted him with another vial of potion before she disappeared.
“What color was her poof cloud?” Emma asked.
He grinned down at her, dimples on full display. “Blue, like the sea.”
“Naturally,” she said. When he hadn't said anything for a few moments, she glanced up at him. He was giving her such a tender look that it just about took her breath away. "What?" she whispered, not wanting to disturb whatever spell was surrounding them.
He pulled her into the circle of his arms, "I've missed that."
Sliding her hands up his sexy chest, exposed by his Camelot wardrobe, she dimpled, "What?"
"That smile," he thumbed her chin, "that lilt in your voice when you tease me." The pitch of his voice had lowered as he spoke and when he continued, she ended up stepping closer to hear him. "You, Emma. I've missed you." Pulling her tightly against his body, he kissed her, conveying all those emotions that he wouldn't allow himself to say.
Emma sank into the kiss, allowing him to take what he needed, what they needed. His body trembled in her arms, and holding him tighter she tried to convey how she was feeling and what she was thinking.
Pushing the guilt aside she allowed herself to enjoy the moment just like her father always said, and met him kiss for kiss. As the intensity of their kisses slowed and she opened her eyes to stare in the dark blue of his, her heart flipped in her chest. "Killian, I'm so..."
He halted her speech with a gentle finger, "Swan, don't say it."
"But Kill..." she tried again.
He stopped her words this time with a hard kiss, "No, Swan. I once told you I was a fan of every part of you, and I meant every word. I wouldn't have expected any less of you. I feel," he looked around to see several people milling about, "I would be remiss if I didn't say I was sorry for any untoward behavior I might have shown just now."
Both brows going up in surprise, Emma grinned, "I kind of liked your behavior."
"Oh?" he smirked.
"Yes," she drawled, "but for now how about that story." Lacing their fingers, they continued their walk. "What happened after the enchantress poofed away?"
"Well, now," he started in his most soothing voice, "she left something behind."
"Really? Something else magical, I bet."
"Aye, Swan. A magic bean."
"And what did you do?"
"Why, I picked it up, like any good pirate, of course."
"Of course," she agreed. "And then what happened."
"Well," he began, “I now had a bag of gold, two potions, and a magic bean, what else was I to do but-” Killian was cut off by a ruckus coming from across the huge expanse of the royal gardens. “What the hell is going on?” he muttered.
With Emma’s hand still in his, he started to move toward the commotion and Emma followed readily. The royal trumpets were sounding, signaling that someone important was arriving. She could feel the vibrations of hooves against the ground, and her heart began to pound in her chest, was this it? Had her father returned bearing an answer, or help? Squeezing Killian’s hand tighter, she felt an inkling of hope spark within her, maybe things would be okay.
Halting them where they stood, Killian looked at Emma when he felt her tighten her grip on his hand. The hope and excitement that blossomed on her face were beautiful. He knew what she was thinking, and, gods, did he pray she was right. Glancing back to the arriving party Killian realized almost immediately that it was not David and Arthur. This party was too large, as knight after knight arrived, seven or eight in total. He looked back to Emma to see her crestfallen expression as she came to the same realization.
“Come, love,” he murmured, “no news is good news, they’ll be back soon enough.”
“I know they will,” Emma answered, trying to sound as though she believed her words.
Killian wrapped her in his arms and hugged her fiercely, even as his heart broke for her.
She hugged him tightly, then separated just enough to kiss him. It was a heady distraction, and she needed something to get lost in. “I’m tired,” she stated, breaking the kiss. “I’m so tired. Of waiting, of hoping, of trying. I just want everything to stop, just for a minute.” She wasn’t angry, and she wasn’t crying, she was just talking, telling him exactly what she wanted.
“I think we can try to find a way to take a break. Perhaps if you find solace in my company and my arms while you’re awake, the same can be found while you sleep.”
Emma cocked an eyebrow, he brought up a good point. The insanity that found its way into her head abated whenever he was present, perhaps she could finally sleep if she had him with her. “It’s worth a try. I can’t remember the last time I slept.” Without another moment’s hesitation, she poofed them straight into her chambers.
Killian smiled at her, one of his brilliant, dimpled smiles, chuckling at her wordless acceptance of his idea. “All right, then, let’s make it official,” he said, still holding her in his arms, and gazing into her green eyes. “Emma Swan, will you take a nap with me?”
She rolled her eyes at him affectionately. “Do you have any idea how ridiculous you are?”
He grinned. “Aye, but if my antics put a smile like that on your face I’d wager they’re more than worth it. Now, love, I believe I asked you a question. Will you nap with me?”
“Yes,” she said, savoring the thought of a few minutes blessed sleep, something she hadn’t had in nearly a week now.
Killian took off his jacket, unsnapped his hook, and then laid on the bed, arms wide in invitation. Emma curled up beside him, focusing on his warm chest at her back, his strong arm around her middle, the gentle puffs of air against her neck as he slowly drifted off. She closed her own eyes, determined to relax and fall asleep.
But after fifteen minutes of simply lying there, trying not to fidget, trying not to disturb Killian’s rest, she finally gave up. Even Killian’s love and comfort weren’t enough to break through the darkness and allow her to rest.
“Come now, dearie,” came the obnoxious voice Emma was becoming all too used to, “you didn’t think it would be that easy to suppress the darkness and the natural instincts of the Dark One, did you? The love of your pirate? Really, dearie I didn’t take you as so simple-minded.”
Emma reluctantly opened her eyes, and found sparkly, golden Rumpelstiltskin sitting in the chair by the bed, looking down at the two of them with a mocking grin.
“Go away,” she said on a sigh.
“I’m afraid that’s not in the cards for you,” Rumple said. “You’re the Dark One, and you’ll get to enjoy my company until you finally accept the inevitable and give in.”
“No,” Emma said louder than she’d intended. “I’ll never give in. I won’t embrace the darkness!”
Killian’s arm tightened on her waist, before he propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at her in concern. “Swan?”
“It’s okay, Killian,” Emma said with a weary attempt at a smile. “It’s just the darkness. You know, same old, same old. Would you mind, you know, finishing your story? I think I could use distraction more than sleep right now.”
He looked at her in concern for another moment, but then he nodded. “So, there I was with my crew, a sack of gold, two bottles of potion and a magic bean, going along on my journey,” he paused, yawning, and she envied his ability to find rest. She loved his voice though, and this chance to get a glimpse into his past. It wasn’t often that he shared those times with her, and she nudged him, letting him know she was listening.
“Before long, we came across a narrowing in the waterway; two massive rock formations, but easily wide enough for the Jolly Roger to navigate. However, upon nearing the gap, I couldn’t help but notice flotsam all around – the vestiges of past ships.”
“They had been destroyed,” Emma said.
“Utterly. One of my crew sounded an alarm and we heard a great rumbling and too late I realized that those hulking boulders were somehow alive and coming together just as we are entering the strait. I had no time to stop my ship or reverse course.”
“What did you do?”
“The only thing I could, love. I pulled one of the potions from my satchel, the one granted me by the enchantress, and I poured it out onto the decks. Since she was a sea goddess, I thought it was our best chance.” He paused, letting her curiosity build. “All of a sudden, the rocks seemed to be growing larger and larger, their movements slowing, and I understood that they weren’t changing – we were.”
“Your ship was smaller.”
“And faster. We were through the gap and beyond danger, or at least that’s what I thought at the time.”
Emma turned toward him and traced her finger along the open vee of his shirt. “It wouldn’t be one of your stories if it were that easy.”
He took her hand in his, halting the movements of her curious fingers. “If you want to hear the rest, you’ll need to stop what you are doing.”
“Fine,” she stopped playing with those soft chest hairs of his. “Go on,” she said.
“Once clear of the cursed rocks, we thought our next obstacle was how to get the ship and ourselves back to our normal dimensions.”
“I like your normal dimensions,” Emma said.
“Stop being cheeky, Swan. This was serious business we were about.”
“You did have another bottle of potion,” she reminded him.
“True, and that was what I turned to. Unfortunately, it did not have the desired effect.”
Emma sat up. “Tell me it didn’t shrink you even more.”
“No, it did not. It actually didn’t seem to do anything, and while we were all contemplating that, we heard a vicious screeching sound coming from above.”
“Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes. At first, we thought they were birds; ugly, misshapen birds from the bowels of hell. As it turned out, it was far worse.”
Searching her memories of mythological creatures, she guessed at one she knew, “Flying monkeys?”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “Missing your ex-fiancée, are you?”
“We were never formally engaged. I didn’t answer him.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “No, these were Harpies. Half birds and half, for the lack of a better word, women. All razor-sharp talons and beaks, swooping out of the sky looking for a meal of delicious pirate crew. Even if we’d been full sized, we wouldn’t have stood a chance, as they could have sliced us to pieces before devouring us all.”
Emma’s hands were busy again. Those Harpies were giving her ideas about delicious pirates, but Killian cleared his throat and fixed her with a warning look. Fine. Whatever. “You’re obviously still here,” she said, “so what happened with the bird monsters?”
“It was as if the gods knew what our journey held in store for us, for that second potion served to make us utterly distasteful to those winged beasts, and their claws shriveled when they tried to grasp us. They flew away, unsatisfied.”
“Poor Harpies,” Emma muttered. “So, the second potion was like a bird repellant.”
“A particularly effective one.”
“Okay, so what next?”
“Oh, just a few other obstacles here and there.” He shrugged. “Through the course of time, we regained our size, and we made our way to the shores where our treasure lay waiting for us.”
Emma leaned back against the headboard. “You still haven’t told me what this great prize is that the king was after, and what do you mean by ‘other obstacles?’”
Killian grinned up at her and she resisted the urge to kiss him. “Well, there was a dragon,” he began.
“Old news,” Emma said. “We’ve both fought Maleficent.”
“True. And then there was an army of dead men that gave us pause.”
“What?”
“And the fire-breathing bull. That one actually cost me more men than the skeletons.”
Remembering an old movie she’d seen once at a Saturday matinee when she was ten, Emma gasped. “You were after the golden fleece!”
“Aye, that I was.” Killian’s smile grew. “You’ve heard of my adventure?”
“Sort of,” Emma said, “except the guy was Jason and the ship was the Argon.”
“That bloody ponce, Jason,” Killian said.
“You knew him?”
“He was on my crew, and bloody drunk for most of the voyage. Worthless. I ditched him on the island when I left.”
Why did these stories never play out the way she’d always been told? “So, you were the one who found the fleece?”
“Hell, no,” Killian said. “That thing was enchanted so that whoever owned it couldn’t be defeated in battle. It was a lost cause before we ever began.”
“Then how, why…”
“As soon as we found out that bit, I grabbed the gold and used the bean to escape with my ship and what was left of my crew. We went to a realm where that king wouldn’t be able to follow, since he’d foolishly given us his bean.”
“But, what about Jason?”
Killian shrugged. “The drunken miscreant probably killed himself another ram and dyed the hide gold so he could tell his own tale. It explains the ship name, too.”
“The Argon?” Emma asked.
“Couldn’t pronounce Roger when he was that far gone. Always came out ‘Argon.’” His tone conveyed his disgust over the whole ordeal.
As he told her his story, Emma had felt her body relaxing more than it had since she had been in Camelot. "Thank you for sharing," she sighed against his shoulder.
He didn’t say anything for a while but she could feel his smile against the top of her head and his arms tightened around her head. "My pleasure, Love. Did it help?"
"It did," she acknowledged as she lay her hand back on his chest. She found that when she could feel the steady thump thump of his heart, it calmed her and made her actually feel that everything was going to be alright. "I'm feeling surprisingly relaxed,” she gave a small self-deprecating laugh.
"I'm here for you, Emma." His voice took on a low, seductive whisper. "In any way you need me, I’m here.” Kissing the top of her head, he rolled them over onto their sides, tucking her face against his chest. “Sleep now, Swan.”
"You won't leave me?" She asked him hesitantly even though she knew the answer.
"Never, Emma. I'll be here when you wake," were the last words she heard before she was finally pulled under.
~~~~~~
As Killian felt her body relax into sleep, he vowed he would do whatever necessary to bring her back to him. Watching what the darkness was doing to her was killing him, but she was strong and together they were stronger. They would fight this thing, together.
Relishing the closeness he felt when holding her in his arms, he allowed himself to drift to sleep.
Hours later, after her father had returned with the Crimson Crown, he found himself feeling a hope that he hadn’t felt since arriving in this place. Walking along with Emma toward the Round Table room for her father's Knighting Ceremony with their fingers laced, he could tell by the look on her face that she was feeling it too.
~fin
Other canon deleted scenes and divergent stories can be found in the Once Upon a Captain Swan Storybook, Vol 2 which can be found here.
A collaborative story written by @forestiyari @hungrywhovianpotterheadfrom221b @superchocovian @whimsicallyenchantedrose and artwork by @gingerchangeling
A divergent scene that starts when Killian, Henry, Snow and David go to meet Emma after she returns from NYC. Rating - T
Killian pressed the “off” button on his talking phone, feeling the relief bubble up from within. Swan was due to return home that very afternoon and despite the Crocodile’s best efforts, she’d resisted the call of the darkness. She’d not darkened her heart, not given in to the urge to murder Lily to save her parents.
He didn’t know when he’d been so proud of anyone. He knew how seductive the darkness could be, but his Swan, his amazing girlfriend, had pushed it back.
There was an extra spring to his step as he, the lad and her parents walked the short distance to Granny’s dining establishment as the time drew near for Swan to return to town. It had been a mere 24 hours since she and Regina left, but it had felt like a lifetime. Since they’d returned from their adventure in the past, he and Swan hadn’t gone a day without seeing each other, and a day without her felt colorless, incomplete.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Read the rest of the story and many others in the Once Upon a Captain Swan Storybook, Vol 2 which can be found here.
A deleted scene that starts just as Ursula stops Emma and the others from saving August. Rating -K
Emma gritted her teeth in frustration. You would think that fighting on the side of good would make things go your way. The plan to rescue August had started out smoothly enough, with Snow getting the jump on Cruella, and August, adult August, being released to put an end to whatever Gold had up his sleeve. But no. Ursula appeared and Emma’s heart sank.
“No one is going anywhere,” Ursula said, and her tone sent a chill through Emma’s spine.
This could not be happening. Killian had told Emma he was sure he could help Ursula with whatever the problem was that put the sea goddess on the side of the villains, but now she was here and he was not.
“Where the hell is Hook?” Emma demanded. “What did you do to him?” Multiple scenarios flashed through Emma’s imagination, and none of them had a good outcome. That pirate was so sure, so confident that he could survive anything, and all Emma could think was that once again, he’d marched right into danger.
Ursula sneered at her. “Sorry, sweetheart, your boyfriend is shark bait.”
No. NO.
The witch grabbed her mother, winding her tentacles around her neck and the meaning was clear. She’d taken Killian and now she was going to take her family. Panic and rage surged through Emma, and she raised her hands, willing to do whatever her magic allowed to defend them.
But Ursula was having none of it. “Drop those hands or your mother here is going to need gills to breathe.”
Every ounce of her being wanted to lash out, but Emma knew the other woman had power. If what she said was true, then Hook… Hook was. No, she couldn’t give into that, and so she dropped her hands and tried reason, telling Ursula that she really didn’t want to do this. Hook and Regina had wanted to change, and maybe she could convince this woman, too.
~~~CS~~~
Killian closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar sea air. It had been far too long since he’d stood on the deck of his ship, feeling the motion of the water and the sound of the breeze in the sails.
He could hardly believe his luck that Ariel had turned up for him at the exact right time, and with the exact right talent for what he needed. It was taking longer than Killian had wished for Ariel to retrieve the Sea King, but he was grateful for her assistance nonetheless. After everything he’d done he still couldn’t believe the mermaid had agreed to help him, much less save his life. He couldn’t help but smirk as he touched his cheek, remembering her enthusiastic greeting as he’d woken up earlier. Aye, he deserved that slap, and the others the mermaid had bestowed on him over the past year, just as he had deserved his dunking in the sea that Ursula had given him today.
After giving Ariel the sincere apology she had coming, Killian had laid out his plain, and she had been willing to do whatever he needed. He supposed some of that was gratitude for being freed from the bottle that had once contained the Jolly Roger, but, in truth, he knew it was because she was a hero who had always been open to doing the right thing. The other mermaids most certainly hated her for that, and his chagrin over his past betrayal of her rose a notch.
On that thought, he heard a loud thump on the deck behind him, and turned to see the pretty red headed woman and an angry, glowering Sea King. Poseidon was on board, and Killian was well aware as he watched Poseidon raise his trident that he was undoubtedly about to be killed.
~~~CS~~~
Emma could not give into her emotions, not when there was so much saving to be done, but nothing was going right. Ursula would not be reasoned out of her rage. What had the woman done to Killian? Could she really have drowned him? It didn’t seem possible that a man who had survived hundreds of years and was constantly rushing into danger could be gone just like that, but she pushed the thoughts aside again. It was just too much to deal with, that she could somehow lose him. There had to be a way out of this mess.
Panic had even taken hold of her father. David’s hand kept twitching, wanting to use his sword, but afraid of losing his wife if he fought back. How could these villains keep using love as a weapon? Did being the Savior mean that she would never have love in her life because it made her weak?
She couldn’t accept that.
~~~CS~~~
Once again, Killian owed Ariel his life, for Poseidon had lifted his staff as a formal, if reserved, greeting. Before bringing him to the Jolly Roger, she had gone so far as to inform the sea king that Killian’s intentions were pure in his desire to unite him with his long-lost daughter. “You have my thanks,” he told her.
She smiled at him. “Any time, captain.” And with a soft splash off the port bow, she was away to be reunited with her prince.
As the men hastened toward the cabin to try and locate Ursula, Poseidon informed Killian as to why they’d been unable to extract the voice from within the shell, and assured him that he was more than ready to help right the wrong for which they were both culpable.
As they approached the cabin Killian could hear the raised voices. First Emma’s, and then Ursula’s, and then silence. Poseidon’s expression grew grim, and his hold on this trident tightened. Killian raised his hand and they stopped.
“Let me go first,” Killian suggested.
Poseidon didn’t seem convinced. “If Ursula decides to act against them, you won’t be able to stop her.
Killian nodded his understanding, but he had thought this through. “You and I both know that she doesn’t want to do harm, she’s just in pain, and with you here, I can help with that.” Poseidon stepped back, granting his approval.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he heard Ursula argue as he approached the door. “I can’t have him leave with you – not when the Author is the only one who can give me what I want.”
Killian pushed the door open. “That’s not true,” he called out as he made his way into the cabin. Emma turned anxious eyes toward him, and her shoulders dropped as she released the breath she’d been holding. The shift from tension to relief at his appearance a palpable transition that seemed to ripple through the room.
“How are you still breathing?” Ursula exasperated, drawing a smirk from his lips.
He spared a quick glance Emma’s way, wanting to go to her, but knowing that right now that couldn’t be his priority. He was here to make things right. “I’m good at surviving, or you’re bad at killing. Either way, you don’t need the Author to get what you want.” He approached her, knowing that at any time she might choose to end him for good this time. Best to be on about it. “I know why you couldn’t release your voice from that shell. Only the one who enchanted it can do that.”
“Wait, you don’t mean…” Ursula whispered in hopeful hesitancy.
“Aye,” he confirmed and her father made his entrance.
Killian stood transfixed at the sight before him as father and daughter reunited and lay to rest the misery he’d had a hand in causing. Overwhelmed by the knowledge that he had restored another’s happy ending, he glanced over and caught the eyes of his. Emma. The happy ending, he never thought he’d find, the happy ending he wasn’t sure he even deserved.
She moved over to him, tucking herself against him, and he pulled her closer, resting his hook against her hip. He couldn’t help but take a moment to enjoy how good it was to hold her and feel how thankful he was to be with her, again.
All too soon they had to deal with the realization that one of their quarry had slipped away, and a silent nod of gratitude from Ursula, the team of heroes hurried themselves in retreat from the cabin, but Killian found himself unable to join their ranks. He may no longer be a villain but he was far from a hero, and now more than ever he felt haunted by the words Regina had spoken at the helm of his ship.
Villains don’t get Happy Endings.
~~~CS~~
Emma had never been a touchy-feely person, but here she was holding onto this pirate, half afraid that if she let go she would lose him again. Something had changed inside of her and it didn’t matter that her family or anyone else was around to see how she felt about being reunited with him. She let her hand drift over his chest and the leather of his jacket, still feeling traces of dampness there that let her know Ursula hadn’t been bluffing about his fate. She could sense that Killian was still uneasy, could feel the tension in his body as he held her. Despite the happy turn of events, he wore a look that she could only describe as brooding as he walked away from her. The feeling of loss was immediate. Emma Swan, who had spent her entire life building a shell around her heart so that she couldn’t, wouldn’t ever rely on anyone else, had become a woman who needed people in her life – Henry, her parents, and this man.
She finally let her guard down and let what had just happened wash over her; the fear and the anger and the panic and the sheer relief and happiness that it was over and that he was still safe. Killian, though, didn’t seem happy or relieved at all. She moved to him, not understanding. “Hook, what’s wrong? You gave Ursula everything she wanted.”
“But I almost didn’t, love.” His words were soft, but honestly was in every syllable. “I was so desperate to figure out what the Crocodile was up to, I almost became the man I used to be. You have no idea how easy it is to fall back into the darkness.” She could hear the venom laced with despair in his voice as he spoke, and though it wasn’t aimed at her, it still sent a chill down her spine. It’s wasn’t until he’d almost finished speaking that he finally turned to look at her.
Filled with the overwhelming urge to reassure him, that he was a hero, Emma got as close as she possibly could to him and stated with confidence, “Whatever mistakes you made with Ursula, you fixed.”
“Aye, but it’s a stark reminder of something.”
At the ominous tone of his comment Emma’s defenses piqued causing her to take a step back, as she questioned, “What?”
“With all this talk of authors and the book, we’ve never discussed one fact. I was a villain.”
Relief surged through her at his statement, because she had already determined that this was something that she could assuage his guilt on, by saying, “But you’re not anymore.”
“Neither was Regina, but she still lost her happy ending. If we are to believe the rules of the book, then It’s only a matter of time before I lose mine.”
She really hadn’t known what he was going to say, but hearing that this was about his happy ending took her by surprise. Killian had been through so much, and had given up so much that had meaning to him. He’d left his life in the Enchanted Forest, his crew, and even his ship. He loved the sea, and yet here he was in a tiny town, talking about losing something that was precious to him. “Wait, if you’re afraid of losing your happy ending, that means you found it. What is it?”
She could see the tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes as he confessed, “Don’t you know, Emma? It’s you.”
She was overwhelmed by feelings she wasn’t ready to name as well as how this man constantly wore his heart on his sleeve for her. And as she listened to him tell that nothing, in all the years of his life, meant more to him than she did, caused the tears that she had been holding at bay, to spill from her eyes. For the first time in her life, she was hearing words that she had never expected to hear. In that moment, she knew that she felt the same way. That this man was in her blood and the thought of ever having to go on without him was terrifying.
Unable to fathom a response, she closed the distance between them and kissed him, slowly and tentatively, the tears still spilling down her face. She savored his taste and the soft touch of his breath on her skin. Deepening the kiss, she tried with her actions to show him how she felt, even without words. As she went in for another kiss, she could finally feel some of the tension ease out of Killian’s demeanor, just as they were rudely interrupted.
Poking his head back in through the open door, David cleared his throat and said, “Uh… guys. Not to ruin the moment, but Gold is probably already on his way back here… we should really get going.”
“Your father is right, love,” Killian said, his voice still low, but rough his emotions – their emotions. “We should depart before the crocodile comes back.” Holding onto his arm, they made their way through the front door, and down the porch steps. She should probably go back with her parents, but couldn’t seem to let go of her time with Killian. “I guess we should go to the loft,” she said, reluctantly.
He seemed to feel the same way, as he added, “I do need to go check on the Jolly, I only had moments with her.”
Emma paused mid-stride. “Wait, the Jolly is back?” She turned to gauge his reaction as she asked her question.
A beautiful smile bloomed taking over his handsome features as he responded with a wistful, “Aye.”
~~~CS~~~
As they left the cabin and began walking toward the docks, Emma kept replaying the last few hours in her mind, and the ones that played over and over again were that Hook almost didn’t come back to her and his confession. Essentially, he had bared his soul to her and what had she done? Slammed up those walls on the words just like she always did and kissed him. Not told him how she felt when Ursula had said he was shark bait. And more importantly, not given him the words that were swimming in her head when he told her she was his happy ending. Something told her she needed to remedy that and now.
“Killian,” his name still felt new on her lips even though she had thought of him that way for quite some time. “We need to talk.” She stopped walking to wait for his answer.
“Aye, love. We can talk on the Jolly Roger.”
Emma watched him take a few steps before realizing that she hadn’t followed, but it felt wrong somehow to talk on the ship. They needed to go somewhere alone, other than the Jolly Roger or his room at Granny’s, and the loft was where they were taking August, “No, can we go somewhere else to talk?”
He tilted his head staring intently into her eyes, making her feel as if he was seeing inside her soul and pulling all those emotions that she was keeping close right out of her. “Sure, Swan,” he finally answered his voice sounding perplexed, “lead the way.”
When he answered, his blue eyes were swirling with things that in the past, she would have chosen to ignore, but tonight, her goal was to find the words to take away any questions that he might be having. She was in this with him and he needed to know that.
~~~CS~~~
As he walked beside Emma with her hand in his, he wondered what she wanted to talk about, because in his experience when a woman said they wanted to talk, it usually wasn’t a good thing. Had he said too much? And did she understand what he was really saying to her? That he loved her but that he knew she wasn’t ready to hear those three words yet. She hadn’t said anything back to him, but he hadn’t really expected her too, after all he was sure she was worried about August and her mother.
Perhaps he should have waited to tell her, but in that moment, he couldn’t hide anything from her. There had been too much of that already.
He recognized the terrain, and that she was taking him down to the bench by the water, a place that he personally thought of as their bench. It was where she’d run to before they’d been pulled into the time portal, and he knew it was where she liked to be alone. This might indeed be a conversation that didn’t bode well for him, in spite of her soft kisses and their loosely linked fingers. He waited for her to sit, and then settled beside her, careful to not crowd her. She reached over to run her fingers along the curves of his hook and looked uncertainly into his face.
“It’s okay, love. You can tell me.”
“I…”
Emma’s voice trailed off and Killian waited, not knowing if her next words would break his heart or send it soaring.
“I like kissing you,” she said.
His heart was amused.
“What I mean to say is,” she continued, with a light blush on her cheeks and her gaze rising to look at him, moving from his eyes to his hair, glancing across the scar on his cheek, and finally settling on his mouth, “sometimes it’s just easier for me to show you how I’m feeling instead of, you know…”
“You aren’t much for illuminating conversation, Swan.”
“Not my strong suit,” she admitted.
Her hair shone in the late afternoon sunlight, and he reached out to feel the softness of it, letting it fall between his fingers. She seemed to relax at his touch and he let his thumb trace across her cheek to her mouth and linger on her bottom lip. “I rather like kissing you, too, Emma.”
The corner of her lips hitched upward, and she tilted her head at him, wryly asking, “Even if I’m doing that instead of telling you what I’m feeling?”
His thumb drifted down to the cute little cleft in her chin. “You will tell me when you’re ready,” he said.
“What if I’m ready now?” she asked.
Killian had always had the knack for reading people, something that had saved his neck a multitude of times over the past few centuries, and yet Emma had always been somewhat of an enigma to him. He would be lying if he said that it didn’t intrigue him.
~~~CS~~~
As his hand drifted along her cheek, Emma’s heart was racing so fast that she wasn’t sure it would stay in her chest. The words to tell him what was in her heart kept running around in her head but getting her tongue to articulate them was another story. They welled up inside but then as soon as she opened her mouth, they dissipated into thin air.
Trying to relax herself, she picked up his chains and fingered the charms hanging around his neck, “Tell me how you got the Jolly back,” she finally asked, thinking if they talked about something else for a bit, the words she wanted to say would return.
His smile told her that he knew exactly what she was doing but then settling back in the bench and stretching his legs out in front of them he proceeded to spin a tale about what had transpired earlier in the day, glossing over his treatment of Ursula and subsequent dunking in the cold waters of the sea.
When his tale had wound down, Emma gave him a sideways grin, “So, not only did you help return Ursula’s happy ending today, but you also helped return Ariel’s too.”
He looked taken aback for a minute but returned her smiled, “It was the right thing to do.”
“It was.” She agreed, her nervous fingers playing over the leather of his jacket sleeve while trying to decide what to say next. “Killian?”
“I’m here, love. You can say anything to me.”
How can he just sit there so calmly, she wondered, as she looked into the blue of his eyes, not seeing any signs of impatience or frustration? She took a deep breath, “When Ursula told me you were shark bait something inside of me shifted, Killian. I realized that perhaps what you had been saying to me was something that I really needed to ‘listen’ to and not just hear.”
He tilted his head, giving her a little smirk, “And which one of my prodigious statements resonated with you at that moment, Swan?”
“The one where you said perhaps I should start living my life during the crisis, or I might miss it.” Twisting on the bench toward him, she gently touched his face. “I don’t want to miss it any longer, Killian.”
Killian clasped her hand with him and rubbed his thumb back and forth across her knuckles, “I’m happy to hear that, Swan.”
“And,” she took a deep breath, ready to plunge into uncharted territory, and his quirked eyebrow gave her the last bit of encouragement that she needed. “And you, this thing we have and me being with you,” she looked into his eyes, “it gives me hope that I can have something I never thought I could. The idea of losing that…”
This time, he was the one who kissed her, letting her know without words that he understood. He had told her she was his happy ending, and those words had filled her heart because almost losing him had shown her that her happy ending would not be possible without him. She melted into him, and this time, when their lips finally separated, there were no tears.
“So,” she said, “about the Jolly Roger…
He gave her a soft smile and straightened, putting a small distance between them. “I do need to go back. There is some information Ursula is going to share with me about what the Crocodile and the others have planned, and she needs to get away before they find her.”
Once again, he seemed to understand what she needed without her telling him. “And I need to get back to my parents and check on August.” Some time with her family would help her come to grips with what Killian had come to mean to her. There was one thing that she knew for sure, though – she was done hiding the fact that he was in important part of her life now.
She watched him leave, appreciating the view and the fact that he was hers.
An introspective look at both Emma and Killian’s thoughts from the time he leaves after not telling her anything about Ursula to the time her parents catch them. Rating - K
After leaving Pinocchio with Marco, Emma planned to make her way back to the station to continue looking through the ATM videos, but somehow her thoughts took her a different direction and she found herself at the docks. They had become a place that she gravitated toward whenever her thoughts were muddled and she needed to sort through something. Today, it seemed there were multiple situations that needed her attention, but none more so than her conversation. or lack thereof with one close-mouthed pirate. When he arrived at the station with her lunch, and she had immediately tested him about whether he was bringing her french fries or onion rings, she had wanted to kick her behind for continuing to put him through hoops; but when he had grinned and rubbed her shoulder, she had relaxed and silently promised herself to behave. Why then had she immediately put him on the spot about Ursula? Was she jealous? No, that didn’t feel right, but something about his reticence to talk about Ursula immediately brought all her insecurities to the surface.
As she watched the birds fly over the water she thought about how free they looked and wished she could be as free with the giving of her trust and of her feelings. Her past still had a hold on her and those walls, while she knew they were falling down a piece at a time, and much of it was due to Killian’s persistence, she also knew that there were some instances when it appeared to be one step down and two steps back up. Today’s conversation with him left her feeling very unsettled as it was so different than most of their conversations had been recently. He was usually the one trying to get her to open up and this time, he had shut her down with, “I don’t know what else to say.” Why had she crossed her arms over her chest, her body position exuding mistrust and not shown patience with him like he has always shown with her?
~♥~
It was times like this that Killian longed for the familiarity of his ship most. He needed refuge from the onslaught of shame over the most current disaster he'd brought upon Emma, in the form of a sea witch who was only a danger because of what he did to her.
He sat on the beach and dug his nails into his scalp. He should be used to past misdeeds seeping into his present by now, but somehow, he was not.
He’d never get used to the way she shrank back into herself when she knew he was hiding something, how she stopped looking at him like he was safe, like she was preparing to be hurt beyond measure again. It undid him and made him want to hold her face and beg her to understand that he loved her so much his bones ache with it, that he’d spend his life proving he could be counted on, if only she’d be patient while he processed all this himself first.
But how could he think he was deserving of anyone’s trust or patience, after what he did to Ursula?
He's committed horrors of all kinds, but his wrongdoings against the young mermaid made him feel especially unworthy of Emma's confidence. He'd made Ursula a promise, looked her in the eye and vowed that she could rely on him. And instead, he'd stolen her voice like it was nothing. He'd felt genuine respect and affection for her... her fire and ambition had reminded him of Milah a bit, and he’d turned her into nothing but a pawn in his own depraved agenda. Hardly better than the Dark One himself.
He needed to tell Emma, and he hated it. Hated that in his most recent conversation with her he'd been so evasive because she'd caught him off guard, and he simply had no excuse for what a monster he'd been in his long life. He was fairly certain she would forgive him, because she was so fiercely good, but whether he deserved it is another story. He wanted to be more for her than a constant parade of old sins needing absolution.
Sighing deeply, he stood and headed back to the station.
~♥~
A feeling of chagrin stole over her as she realized that she had treated him unfairly. He didn’t deserve the brunt of her insecurities, he already had to deal with townsfolk not giving him the benefit of the doubt. She knew there was nothing going on between him and Ursula now. She also knew that no matter what had happened between them it would have no bearing on the man she knows now. It wouldn’t change how she feels for him. In fact, of that she is positive, because no matter what, she’s certain there is a line he wouldn’t cross where a lady is concerned.
Thinking back on the conversation she’d just had with her parents it dawned on her that she needed to take a page out of their book. If they could choose to see the best in everyone, including villains, then it is the least she could do for Killian. Deep down she already saw the very best in him, she just needed him to know that. She’d let her self-doubt and emotions shake her faith in him.
Shit, she thought. She needed to fix this and fast, who knew when the next crisis was going to rear its ugly head. Emma took a deep breath of the fresh ocean air to center herself. Digging her phone out of her pocket she dialed Killian, then held her breath hoping he would answer. By the fourth ring she was losing hope that he’d accept her phone call.
“Hello.”
“Killian!” she exclaimed into the phone.
“Is everything okay, love?”
“Yes,” she said breathlessly. She’d held her breath a little longer than she’d intended to, and now she was feeling a little dizzy. It wasn’t just the lack of oxygen though. It hit her then that she’d been more worried than she thought. Worried that this would be the time that Killian had finally run out of patience. That he was finally going to decide that her walls weren’t worth scaling. She shook her head, refocusing and shooing away the negativity. “Would you be willing to meet me at the station?”
~♥~
Just as Killian resolved to set the record straight with Emma, his phone buzzed in his jeans pocket. “Bloody hell,” he growled. He'd never get used to the sudden interruptions phone calls caused. Especially when he was in deep thought or concentrating, like now. He survived hundreds of years without being instantaneously accessible and quite frankly could do a hundred more.
Once he'd recovered from the shock, he glanced at the caller i.d., Emma’s name appeared. He sighed. This was too coincidental. How did she know he was about to confess? Could this woman read minds, too? Don't answer it. Give her a taste of her own medicine. No, she deserves to know the truth at all costs. He drew a breath and answered, “Hello?”
“Killian!” she blurted out. She never said his name that way. Something was obviously bothering her.
He frowned. “Is everything okay, love?”
“Yes,” she replied.
No, it's not Swan. You're worried; the anxiety is prevalent in your tone.
She continued, “Would you be willing to meet me at the station?”
“Umm, sure. Any particular reason?”
“I've had a lot on my mind today, and need to talk about it with you.”
Uh oh, the dreaded ‘we need to talk’ line. In all his encounters with women over the years, he'd learned that phrase rarely meant good things, and the subject matter would be serious in nature. “Like what?”
“Certain expectations and being honest about them.”
Now she’s playing the evasive game, huh? “Okay.”
“Just come over here as soon as possible. I’d rather talk in person.”
“As you wish, Swan. I’ll be there shortly.”
“See you then.”
Killian groaned as they hung up. One step forward, five steps back with Emma. Maybe she’d decided he wasn’t worthy anymore. He was too broken, too far gone, too much of a monster to consider loving. Even if this was the end, he wanted to finish on the side of good. Damn, why did he have to be honorable now? Sometimes it was much easier to burn bridges and never think about the issue again. Alas, this was the path he’d chosen. Heroes always tell the truth.
He glanced up at the night sky. I hope you’re proud, Liam. I’m becoming the man you believed I was. Now was the perfect time to prove him right, and Killian didn’t intend to pass it up.
~♥~
After Killian had promised to come by the station, Emma hung up the phone and shoved it in her back pocket. Her palms were sweating and her pulse was racing and just sitting behind her desk made her feel she was going to jump out of her skin. Standing, she paced. Ten steps forward, ten steps back, over and over again until she heard the front door to the station open. Needing to look busy, she hurried to the filing cabinet, grabbed a file and pretended to look through it as she listened to his footsteps coming down the hall.
Taking a deep breath for courage, Killian rounded the corner into the station, “Well, Swan, why did you summon me?”
Here goes nothing, she thought as he posed the question. Making it her motto, she repeated, don’t screw this up several times in quick succession before turning to answer him. “Because I know there’s something about your past with Ursula you’re not telling me...” she began.
She’s right, he thought, and once I tell you what it is, you will no longer wish to have anything to do with me. A possibility that had been eating at his insides since their earlier conversation.
And finished, “And that’s ok.” She noted the hopeful expression on his face and continued, “What’s not ok, is you lying to me about it.” She watched his face, seeing no change in expression except to note that whatever had happened, was not something that he seemed to want to discuss. Which when she thought about it was odd, as he had never been one to shy away from any of his villainous deeds, owning them completely.
His first thought when she said that she didn’t care about this past had been that it was a trick, for that wasn’t what had happened with women in the past. But then again, he should have known that Emma Swan was no ordinary woman and when you are in a relationship with a woman such as her, all rules were new, often being made up as the relationship progresses. Hearing that she is ok with my past as long as I tell her about the past is a new and unique experience. What to say?
“Aye, love, you’re right.”
She wasn't sure if he'd continue, and it almost startled her when he did.
"I haven't been entirely forthright with you."
Her gut churned at the mere words, an automatic response. How many times had she heard words like that only to have her life promptly uprooted and left in tatters because of someone's dishonesty? Enough that it drowned out the part of her that felt safe and sure of his devotion to her.
She fought down the cold panic creeping up her neck and wrestled away the persistent, cruel mocking in the back of her mind. You thought this one was 'different', didn't you? What good have you ever been at picking out the ones that'll stay?
"The truth is, I remember my history with Ursula. It was early." She tried to focus on his voice, but the pounding in her head only grew as he approached her. She steeled her face and threw the question at him without thinking.
"Did you break her heart?"
The question was so quick and direct that it felt like whiplash. He heard her real question: Are you about to break my heart? He hated having her look at him like that; like she was still afraid, after all they'd been through, that he'd turn on her. It left him with a sudden flare of red-hot frustration--what in hell was it going to take to make her understand how much he loved her—that was quickly quelled by compassion. If she was so willing to forgive his unspeakable deeds, he could certainly be patient with her freezing up and shutting down. In a way, yes, he did break Ursula’s heart, but not in the way Emma meant right now, so he gave her the honest, plain truth.
"Worse."
He let the word linger in the air, and forced himself to meet her eyes and study her face. He looked for fear or disgust, but simply found resolve.
“Look, whatever you did, you’re not that person anymore. It’s not gonna change anything between us.”
The enormity of her words didn’t escape him. It was her heart and her blind trust, laid bare for him with a bravery that made his heart ache with pride in her. It was a gift which he both desperately wanted and wasn’t sure he could ever deserve. Killian opened his mouth to speak, then paused, trying to comprehend what he was hearing. “That’s quite a lot of faith you’re putting on me, Swan,” Killian pointed out. He shook his head as though doubting himself on Emma’s behalf. Did he even deserve to hope that she might actually mean it?
“I know,” she answered lightly, “and there’s a reason for it.” Emma took her baffled pirate’s hand and led him to the couch. She hated that she had put that look of self-doubt on his face, that she’d made him question his own worthiness. That’s why she was going to fix this.
“What’s that?” he asked, still quite certain that regardless of what she had to say, there was no way she was forgiving him this misdeed. His stomach churned with the memories of what he’ done to Ursula, all in pursuit of his damned vengeance.
“My parents. I had this moment today where I doubted them… said they were going for a hike, and I actually thought they were lying to me.” Emma thought back to her conversation with her parents. She chastised herself for doubting them, and doubting Killian. She had to stop this pattern.
Killian didn’t miss the look of disbelief in her own actions that passed over her features, and he yearned for her to have the same faith in him. Wished he’d earned the same faith. “Were they?” he asked, already knowing the answer. Their royal highnesses were above lying, they’d have to have something to hide. Now there’s a dubious concept, he thought.
“No, of course not, my parents would never lie to me,” she said, almost like it had been silly to think otherwise. “But the fact that I could think that they would it reminded me that I have this tendency… to expect the worst of people.” Emma couldn’t help but think of just how true this was when it came to Killian. He might be the person who’d bore the brunt of her doubt in others. She’d started their entire relationship on that path when she’d handcuffed him up on the beanstalk. Even though her lie detector had told her he was genuine, she’d still chosen to believe the worst. Shame flooded when she thought about the time she’d wasted since them. Time that they could’ve been together, really together.
Killian heard the dejected tone she took on when she mentioned how she tended to view the world, and the people in it. It broke his heart because he knew exactly where those feelings stemmed from. He knew what it was like to feel as though you couldn’t trust anyone but yourself, and that there was no one out there for you. He continued to listen as she explained herself, still in awe of her turnaround, and hopeful for what it could mean for them.
“My childhood, people were always letting me down, and I-“
“Hey,” he interrupted, needing to tell her that she couldn’t categorize him with those who’d broken her heart throughout her entire life. Anger coursed through him, directed at all who’d hurt this tough lass. He wasn’t that man, if he did nothing else right in his long life, he’d do right by Emma Swan. It only took looking into her eyes to calm the quelling emotions. “I don’t intend to let you down,” he vowed.
Warmth flowed through Emma’s veins. No one had told her that before; life had merely handed her one hardship after another. Killian had proved himself worthy several times over, even when she didn’t give him credit. "I know. And I know whatever happened with that sea witch, you can tell me on your own time. Because no matter what, I’m gonna do what my parents always do. I am going to choose to see the best in you."
I don’t deserve this amount of trust. But I’ll spend my life assuring your faith in me was correctly placed. He bowed his head and said, “And I with you.”
The couple smiled at each other and leaned in for a kiss-
CRASH! Moment lost, Emma turned toward the station front. Her bemused parents stood in the doorway. Of all times to interrupt…. we were having a relationship developing moment. Could you have arrived five minutes later?
What the…? Perplexed her lips weren't on his, Killian opened his eyes and glanced at the intruders. Snow and David. While he respected the queen and king, they were the last individuals he wanted to see at the moment. Blimey, what's a bloke have to sacrifice for some privacy around here? Their firstborn child?
Emma smiled apologetically and mouthed, “Later.”
Killian nodded. I'd like to have a word. No, this relationship is too new. I don't want to cast myself in a worse light than I already am or seem demanding. He bit his lips as Emma stood up and her parents walked in the room. David blatantly cleared his throat and Snow’s cheeks flushed fresh pink.
“Sorry… we didn't mean to… interrupt,” Snow stammered.
Emma’s eyes narrowed. “So, you stood there awkwardly and stared at us the whole time?”
David sighed. “Sorry, but we have bad news. Cruella and Ursula were up to something. They've resurrected Maleficent.”
“Wait. You mean that dragon I killed and took True Love potion from?”
The conversation shifted to Storybrooke’s latest villain filled emergency.
Twenty minutes later, the couple was alone again. Emma noticed Killian was filled with tension. He wasn't the only one with unresolved business. To Hell with being the Savior, I want to kiss my pirate. “You okay?”
“Sorry Swan, I'm still vexed from earlier.”
“I'm really sorry about that. I didn't know they were there.”
“Not your fault. You don't control other people’s actions. However, I worry it'll set a precedent.”
Emma stepped forward, inches from his face. “What do you mean?”
“Say things continue to go well between us, it could escalate into more intimate activities. If caught, your father would give me a fate worse than death.”
Emma nodded. She pictured her and Killian naked in her bed at the loft when David opened the door with a horrified expression. “Don't worry, I’ll talk to them about boundaries. I'm sure magic has spells that soundproof rooms. Now, kiss me pirate.”
“If the lady insists,” he replied with a devilish grin. The kiss sealed the vows previously exchanged.
Afterwards, they pushed their foreheads together. “May I come back to your room with you?” she asked.
That can’t be right. She’s asking me. I should be asking her. “Are you sure, lass?”
Emma smiled. “I’ve never wanted anything else more.”
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