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@cubxnfuri
[SMS –> Angry Mexican Guy]: You’re asking too much of me, Mendoza. [SMS –> Angry Mexican Guy]: I am, after all, an appreciator of fine looking things. You do realize that, right? [SMS –> Angry Mexican Guy]: You should be flattered, you put everyone else to shame!
[Msg -> Pain in the Ass]: Flattered isn’t the word I’d use.
[Msg -> Pain in the Ass]: I’m scared to know how long you’ve been appreciating.
[Msg -> Pain in the Ass]: And pick up a Spanish dictionary or something!
"Hey Mendoza-- I got a new phone the other day. Number's changed." Total bullshit - he hasn't changed his phone or his number at all, and he may or may not have written down the number of a sex hotline on the post-it note that he gives to Nick...
Nick doesn’t pay any mind to it, simply inserting the new number into his own phone for the days the two exchange texts. Or more, Nick trying to talk about work and Stoddard spamming him with puns.
At least, he doesn’t pay attention until he tries to call, and Stoddard is not the one that speaks on the other end.
He stomps into work the next day red-faced and looking more or less murderous.
Source of anger:
[SMS –> Angry Mexican Guy]: Quelle? [SMS –> Angry Mexican Guy]: …That was French, fuck. [SMS –> Angry Mexican Guy]: Point is, all I caught of that was something about asses (yours is still great by the way, just in case you were wondering), something about bullheads, and you swearing at me. Are you going to actually tell me what you were talking about in English?
[Msg –> Pain in the ass] quelle? it’s Que!
[Msg –> Pain in the ass] Deja de hablar de mi culo! Eres un pervertido es jodidamente ONU creíble
[Msg –> Pain in the ass] aka: STOP STARING AT MY ASS STODDARD!
[Msg –> Pain in the ass] POLLA
Stoddard:
♉ - ❝ -I’m not afraid at all. If it helps you to lighten up a little at times, then that’s all I’m asking for. ❞ He sits back in his chair, kicking his feet up onto his desk (much to Dawes’ chagrin, and Stoddard’s sure he’ll get told to at least look like he’s working should the captain end up walking past anytime soon) as he waits for Nick to find the CD. He’s surprised the other hasn’t already, it didn’t exactly blend in well with the book’s pages and it wasn’t exactly the thinnest of items, but he doesn’t question it yet.
Truth be told, Stoddard’s actually had this planned for a while, it was just that finding the damned things was harder than he expected it to be. Deep down he actually didn’t mind Nick at all– he was considerably easier to tolerate than any of the other co-workers in their department. And that in itself makes the extra effort worthwhile.
❝ Besides, I can’t be seen to be the only one with a decent sense of humor here, right? ❞
He gives a chuckle, a mix between a particularly bad pun and the others’ remark as he skims over the book still. They had themes, categories and even not safe for work jokes. For a joke book, the thing was oddly well organized and presented. He already saw a few his sometimes irritating partner would appreciate. Save those for a late shift.
“I think we have different ideas of decent. Honestly Stoddard the jokes you tell sometimes are--” He stops, his amusement turning into a puzzled frown as a thing case falls from the book. How the hell did he not see that?
It seemed the older was full of even more surprises, the frown morphing into a surprised gape as he looks over the name on the plastic, the box still wrapped tightly in its plastic that keeps people from taking the disc inside.
Nick’s embarrassed when he can’t stop the smile. “I can’t believe you actually remembered their name.”
ᵃᶫᵉᵃ ᶦᵃᶜᵗᵃ ᵉˢᵗ || ᵗʸˢᵒᶰ ﹠ ᶰᶦᶜᵏ⋅
‘ alright, the sooner we finish up here, the sooner we can leave — i usually wouldn’t give a shit, but considering half the state is after us, let’s not hang around longer than we need to. ’
it’s not that the idea of incarceration concerns him, but rather the failure of being able to hit dawes where it hurt. && after all the effort he’d implemented into destroying his business, then it would only be fair to reciprocate the gesture. ( you need to let dawes know you’re thinking of him, tyson — && what better way than biting him in the ass? bastard thinks he invincible. well, even people like him fall sooner or later, && we’re going to be the one to send that house of cards tumbling down. ) hues turn to focus upon his companion as he has to admit that the aroma of food has caught his own interest — even food which he wouldn’t usually consume on a daily basis.
‘ i’m sure the kid’ll bite when we bring the food back — no pun intended, of course. ’
“Fair enough. You wanna sit here and I’ll run inside?” He turned towards the other, single finger pointed in his direction at the question. It’d probably be faster, easier. Order whatever fit everyone’s tastes and hop back into the car.
In and out, like everything they did. Or...tried to do. Hopefully this wouldn’t be as messy as their chosen life of criminal acts seemed to get. Nick could have sworn it was simply his luck. His work as an officer was messy, and it seemed this was following the same path.
“Put your order in now, otherwise I’m just going to get everyone the special.” Which he hoped was something spicy, his pallet was itching for something besides seared meat and cheese over and over.
@vitiosuscoercitor
Cont. of (x)
There was a long pause between the olders’ text and Nicks response. For good reason.
[Msg –> Pain in the ass] usted es DICHO ASS
[Msg –> Pain in the ass] VETE A LA MIERDA que bullheaded mala boca crees que eres tan lindo con su mierda BIEN SU NO DIVERTIDA, voy a patear el culo
♉ - ❝ -Which is often, so you still take overtime a lot. ❞ There’s an idea that springs to mind– one which should at least cause a good laugh if nothing else. ❝ Okay, look, would you at least be willing to give it a chance if I paired you up with a…’friend’ of mine? I mean she and I kinda had this whole friends with benefits going on but maybe a guy like you could really do her some good, you know? She’d like you, I think you two should hook up. ❞
A friend of Stoddards. Now if that wasn’t a frightening sentence he wasn’t sure what was. He wants to say no, leave it at that and maybe have a nice quiet night to himself. But...he’s been around Stoddard long enough that no isn’t always an answer taken. “I--fine. You’re not going to drop it otherwise.” Might as well get it over with, least that way he can say he tried.
@cubxnfury
♉ - ❝ -Sorry it’s late Mendoza, fucking thing arrived late. ❞
Technically, half of it hadn’t - the bigger, less serious item arrived on time, the main present itself hadn’t. And Stoddard wanted to give them both to Nick at once, mainly to see the other’s reaction when he realizes that maybe the older’s got some decency when it comes to presents after all…kinda. After all, everyone knew what he was like by now, so Mendoza’s inevitably expecting some sort of joke present, and he won’t be disappointed.
What he isn’t expecting is that Stoddard’s been listening in to conversations regarding the Cuban’s music taste (he may or may not have slipped in a signed album from Nick’s favourite band within the pages of the book).
❝ But happy belated birthday all the same, right? Maybe now you’ll finally start being able to keep up with my good wit and humor! ❞
He wasn’t even surprised, a snort leaving the fellow officer as he skimmed over the back of the rather thick book. How many jokes were in this thing? Enough he supposed for ammo pointed at the notorious joke teller in their office, he’d have to take note to mark the completely awful ones for the next time they had a patrol.
Even though sometimes it drove him nuts, Nick couldn’t help but think how thoughtful it was as a whole. He hadn’t really said anything about his birthday, and the fact that Stoddard did something like this--albeit a jab at his humor skills, and it’d probably drive the other coworkers crazy--kept a soft smile on his face as he turned a few pages.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll create a monster? But seriously, thank you Stoddard. It was--actually really thoughtful.”
♉ - There’s the response he was hoping for, the feeling of satisfaction at having achieved what he set out to do only growing further, and it takes a lot of his willpower to retain some form of neutrality in his countenance because admittedly, Stoddard was feeling rather smug about the outcome of this…talk. Of course there may be more hurdles to jump over along the way, he highly doubts that Nick’s going to be completely and utterly cooperative with him from now on after all.
But, he’s got what he wants, for now anyway. Nick’s working for him, in exchange for getting his records wiped once they’ve finished dealing with Khai, and Stoddard’s just about ready to remove a few more names off the list of threats to his survival and prosperity with Preferred Outcomes. Khai was the main target– without her and Nick, any plan the four of them might’ve come up with together to take down the company would just fall apart. Tyson, on the other hand, is a man that Stoddard’s just more likely to shoot outright for kicks, for the satisfaction of permanently putting the asshole down.
And he’ll worry about Boomer if he gives him reason to do so. Because as far as Stoddard’s concerned, he’s not capable of becoming a genuine problem on his own. So he gets up out of his seat, all the satisfaction and smugness he felt now simply replaced with a steely determination to see this through to its conclusion…with an old partner by his side. The thought of working with someone else out on the field again for the first time in years may make him apprehensive on the inside, but it’s something he doesn’t show for the sake of professionalism as he offers a concise answer to Nick’s question.
❝ -You know her better than I do, Mendoza. I’ll follow your lead. ❞
God please don’t let him be making a mistake; this isn’t how he envisioned his life going, or this plan. He was so certain Stoddard saw him the same as Dawes, a liability that needed to be cut out. But no, that was Khai’s position in this scene. She was who Stoddard wanted gone, and Nick can only hope he can talk her into running. Leaving, while she still has a shot at life because she’s not the one with prison looming on her shoulders, he’ll give her a shot to run. She was using him, milking him of his uses but he was still out because of her. Boomer was nothing if not an accessory, a kid who got tied into this for his tech skills. He didn’t mean any harm, and the Cuban doesn’t think he could stomach hurting him. Tyson...he’s not as bad as he imagined.
There’s already something close to unease wriggling in his gut, but he pushes it down to start walking, looking ahead and away from Stoddard. He’s afraid if he turns around there’s going to be something in his gaze that’ll make him turn back, or worse he’ll see something in Stoddards’ gaze that will force him to realize what he really just did.
But there’s no time for that, because for once Nick wants to be selfish. Only problem is, it feels like he picked the worst possible moment. “You’re driving.”
Needs to stop:
♉ - ❝ -I’ve paired people up before! ❞ As a joke. And it may have never lasted for that very reason. And Nick’s definitely not going to find out about that part of the story. ❝ You aren’t being very trusting Mendoza. Come on, take a night off instead of doing overtime for once and I’ll take you somewhere and we’ll get drinks, whilst I teach you to pick up girls and get into a good relationship. You’ll thank me for it later! ❞ Or, more likely, Nick will kill Stoddard for it later.
“I’m--really not up for the whole picking up random strangers thing. And I don’t take overtime that often! I take it when I’m asked.” Though he must admit, he could use a night out. One preferably in a nice, secluded bar that didn’t blare it’s music, and he didn’t have to worry about catching something touching the bar table. “The crowds at some bars aren’t exactly up for conversation.”
Temper expectations, please.
Needs to butt out:
♉ - ❝ It’s not that much of a turn off if I’ve still managed to get into relationships. And your sex life has every relevance Mendoza because you need help. Getting stuck in all your paperwork and being so uptight’s never gonna get you a girlfriend, so y’know, maybe I should give you some man-to-man advice, help you get laid, yeah? ❞
Getting into a relationship is easier than staying in one. “Getting laid and getting a girlfriend are two different things, Stoddard. And doing my work does not mean it consumes my life. I do things outside of work you know. And, I doubt you’d be helpful in something like finding someone fitting.”
This is why Stoddards annoying:
♉ - ❝ –Nor the day before that, nor anytime before that…probably. And I’ll have you know there’s a lot fuckin’ more to me than my wit…I’ve got to have some hidden depths, what makes you think I’m just a smartass, hm? ❞
“I didn’t say you’re just a smart ass, I’m just saying it’s a turn off trait when you use it constantly. And knowing you, the constantly isn’t exaggerating. And what does my sex life have to do with your ‘wooing’ skills?”
“Bad Boy”:
♉ - ❝ -Actually, they don’t. Believe it or not Mendoza, most chicks prefer a bad boy to a stick in the mud workaholic. I mean come on, when’s the last time you actually had sex? ❞
“Not yesterday, not that my personal life concerns you. And you are not a bad boy by any definition. A bad boy is a rebel, you’re just a smart ass.”
♉ - ❝ -Well the job can be shit but you wanna know what makes it bearable somedays? Ladies love a guy in uniform. ❞
“Uniform only gets so far, Stoddard. Open your mouth and they’ll run for the hills.”
Welp farewell world:
♉ - ❝ Why are you backing off, Mendoza? I’m not going to get you back. ❞ …Yet. And that is definitely the most important word to consider here, because Stoddard never gave up without getting his own back first. His grin is definitely far from innocent by this point, and he knows it. ❝ Just… don’t fall asleep on any more shifts near me, alright? ❞
Oh he calls hardcore bullshit on that first sentence. “Y’know I don’t think I’m gonna close my eyes near you.” Stoddard is if not anything....persistent, and Nick may have made a huge mistake. Still worth it. For now.
