Wooden Overcoats: S2 Ep4 - Flip, Flap, Flop
“Now, if only I had the time to use it.”
“Bills, bills, more bills…”
“Why can’t anyone ever send me a postcard? A coupon? A nice threatening chain letter?”
“I know you’re jolly important around here these days, but I’m not making breakfast for you.”
“When the toast pops up, there is a finite window of exactly eleven seconds in which the spreading of the butter, which should be kept at room temperature, will be swallowed by the toast before it suicides into crumbly annihilation!”
“Dear God, where are the knives?!”
“That’s a sentence I never like to hear you say.”
“You’re beginning to seem a little unstable.”
“Please tell me you’re having a good morning.”
“I overslept, stubbed my toe, and accidentally brushed my teeth with Vagisil.”
“I don’t know what that is but your teeth look very healthy.”
“I suppose you’ll want the day off so you can retreat into a darkened room with a Gothic horror novel and a box of dates.”
“Does nothing ever phase you?”
“She hasn’t been okay for thirty-five years, don’t see why she ought to be now.”
“I just came by to confirm my schedule.”
“This letter! Do you know what it says?”
“We’re going to get stiffed!”
“The more you say it, the more I don’t like it.”
“I still collect them on the side!”
“We ought to be knighted.”
“We’ve proven once and for all that we’re better than that asinine people pleaser across the square!”
“May his shocking blue eyes be damned!”
“He may have charisma and a bowling alley-”
“Can you get me an appointment?”
“Stop seething and get planning.”
“Do you want me to butter your toast for you?”
“I don’t care what [name] said!”
“Can’t you fob him off? I’d rather not see him.”
“Are you sure you want an audience for that?”
“We were just talking about watching you get stiffed!”
“Every host has to give the keynote address at the conference.”
“Still, public speaking is a difficult beast.”
“A couple of jokes won’t hurt.”
“Sometimes jokes cut deeper than steel.”
“I want you to tell me if this joke is merely funny or very funny.”
“That must be stressful.”
“These sausage rolls won’t make themselves.”
“Being this funny is hard work.”
“I spent the morning mastering the art of French pastry.”
“I’ve learned a new skill.”
“Did you know piffling doesn’t rhyme with anything? It’s like orange.”
“I expect it won’t last more than a few minutes.”
“Have you got any napkins?”
“You wouldn’t fancy slipping out for a pint…?”
“Full disclosure: I am married but we’re on a break.”
“It’s worse than a toddler’s birthday party!”
“Personally I’ve always found joint ownership a tricky concept.”
“I used to have four sisters. I don’t anymore.”
“Be a dear and fetch me a glass of something scandalous.”
“Is there no one capable of giving me what I need?”
“I’m your damsel in distress.”
“You’re all invited, too.”
“Is it salt or white wine to get blood out of the carpet?”
“Does nothing ever flap you?”
“You’ve got a lot of responsibility. No wonder you’re a bit of a mess.”
“Go with what your heart tells you.”
“If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing as thoroughly as you possibly can!”
“Just go and get hammered.”
“I don’t want a couple of glasses of gin!”
“He had to be carried away on a stretcher.”
“They’re asking for our duet again.”
“I’ll be the Bono to your Cher any day!”
“I missed you, you big bear!”
“They don’t think we like each other!”
“You’re a brilliant man, somehow.”
“It lives on in my dreams.”
“The big secret is there is no secret.”
“By the time he was finished, I felt like he had touched a part of me no one had ever touched before.”
“I just want to kill them!”
“Who wants to go around smelling bodies all day?”
“Let’s just say the magic’s gone.”
“Best of luck with the candles, girls.”
“You got that scab to drink scented formaldehyde.”
“I’ve been up all night working on a backup plan.”
“Today’s already a favorite.”
“Thank you, whoever you are.”
“You’re not even wearing a tie!”
“Continuing a family tradition many centuries in the making is an honor I do not undertake lightly.”
“The hard truth of our work is that no one wants to spend any time with us.”
“We symbolize a subject many would prefer to ignore.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“Sometimes it kinda makes you want to be the one that’s dead.”
“This man may not be funny or very interesting but he’s put his heart and soul into this conference!”
“When he’s finished, you’re going to clap!”
“I know that twenty-five people don’t break their own legs because somebody plays a mandolin.”
“I’ll put you into intensive care myself.”
“I’ll remove them in a moment!”
“For what it’s worth, I liked the speech.”
“Sometimes you feel better once you’ve actually been sick.”
“Crikey! What did I miss?”
