UselessBurningTrashCan @cuminaflowerpot - Tumblr Blog

"Go with the flow" they said and now I have diarrhea. Neat.

I need to clone myself so one can do whatever the heck she’s been doing and the other can spend all her time exclusively hand-writing correspondence

cuminaflowerpot

And also I would need her ambidextrous because Hand Cramps.

Need to stop saying "it can't get any worse" because life will listen to that one mumbled sigh of a statement and prove to you how much fucking worse it can indeed get.

#justkillme #please

If redbull won't give me wings I'll do it myself.

#takingmyselfout #not to dinner thats for sure #Immediatly to hell probably

"Get humans wet and Staring into each other eyes vavoom👏"

#good omens #i wish an angel and a demon would get me wet and staring into a pretty girls eyes～(^з^)-♡

Abilify is to motherfuckin stressed.

Just you guys wait his boyfriends gonna lightning mcbeatyourass ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ

#good omens #rewatching to feel something

No one:

Aziraphale almost getting head chopped off because he wanted a crepe in the middle of a Revolutionary war:

#good omens #aziraphale is a foodie who would DIE to fulfil his endulgment on food #My apologies get dicombobulated or wtv #of course his slow burn lover popped up and they STILL went for crepes even after the whole head thing lol #slay the gay away

I got high off my rocker a few days ago. First time ever getting high and when I closed I was third person viewing the inside of my body and instead of it being organs and shit running my body it was weird shit. Instead of bones in my arm it was those gymnastic things you swing off of and do a flip. They were made of giant candy canes and tires were spinning in them. And it kept getting progressively weirder throughout my body.

#Green eggs and ham kept playing as i was veiwing the inside of my body and i thought i was dr suess and that this was my real body

Chase would absolutely hate my ass he hates fat people.

Me:I feel like my organs are rotting and I can't breathe and I was wondering if it was-

Chase: Stay out the pantry fatty and you will be fine

Me:

#house md #Sir I have an eating disorder I don't go in the pantry:0

simplyghosting

Turns out the cure to impulse purchases is $15 shipping and handling

cuminaflowerpot

I refuse to every pay for shippin😭 costs more then the actual item sometimes chirst on tits

Update: yall I fucking lied. I payed shipping on a tiktok shop order. A chicken nugget dino stuffed animal for my girlfriend and the gift itself was less then the shipping. Ten dollars i paid on total. A peice of me died a little bit. But it will be worth it in the end

#i also got her five books not on tiktok shop but it was free shipping thankfully #My ladies bday is five days from christmas so i made sure to include birthday and christmas

simplyghosting

Turns out the cure to impulse purchases is $15 shipping and handling

cuminaflowerpot

I refuse to every pay for shippin😭 costs more then the actual item sometimes chirst on tits

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

UselessBurningTrashCan