❝ i know you love me, but do you like me? ❞ ichiro for ophie :)
⟡ ݁. ⊹ ₊ ݁ ask meme ✦ @crimestruck ₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡
She has been quieter lately. There is more on her mind than she shares, things that have nothing to do with him, burdens she carried long before Ichiro entered her life resurfacing now. She is still there, always, whenever he reaches for her, but there is a distance now. Not because of him. Still, distance feels the same when you’re the one standing on the other side of it.
She never means to start an argument when she questions his choices, never means to wound him when she speaks too bluntly about this life. Intention does not soften impact.
The silence stretches on, heavy and unkind. Ophelia is still searching for the right way to mend it when he speaks first, closing one misunderstanding only to open another. ❛ I know you love me, but do you even like me?❜
❝Why would you ask that?❞ The hurt slips into her voice before she can stop it, exposing her heart ache. She isn’t angry with him for asking. She isn’t upset that he feels this way. What breaks her is knowing she gave the doubt room to grow.
She knows this isn’t something that can be fixed with simple words or soft touches. But that won't stop her from reaching for him. She takes his hand gently in hers and guides him to sit beside her, close enough that the space between them begins to shrink.
❝You know I do.❞ The uncertainty in his eyes makes her chest ache more. She lifts his face in her hands for a moment, just enough to meet his gaze. ❝Ichiro, I may not always agree with you, I won’t always understand your choices, but that doesn’t mean I stop liking you. It doesn’t mean my feelings are fading or changing.❞
Her thumb brushes his cheek, a deliberate touch full of love she has only ever felt for him. ❝...The things that have been on my mind lately, they aren’t because of you,❞ she begins to explain, hoping the words will ease the tension in his mind. ❝I should have told you sooner— I'm sorry.❞
She can admit it now: her own actions in the past have put a strain on them. The fractures of history hard to mend. Her leaving when the truth surfaced doesn’t help her case now, and she knows it. He is emotional, dramatic, human, but all of that is justified in this moment. She understands how they arrived here, and her own part played in his hurt.
❝When I get upset, it’s hard to remember that I wasn’t there,❞ she continues on, quieter now. ❝I know your past, but I didn’t have to live it. I didn’t have to make the impossible choices you were forced to, do the things no one else wanted to... I can understand why things happened, even when I wish they hadn’t. But knowing those moments doesn’t make me dislike you. It doesn’t make me hate you. It just… makes me feel things I’m still learning how to carry.❞
She hopes he hears what she’s trying to say: that stepping away wasn’t abandonment, only breath. It was never a falter in her feelings for him, just a way to process all that had hit her at once. She always meant to come back, she always planned to return to him.
❝Of course I like you. I like things about you that no sensible person should. I like who you are at your core; your strength, your flaws, even your stubbornness.❞ She smooths a dark strand of hair from his face, the echo of a smile begins to take form, her gaze softened as she allows herself to feel in the present.
❝I have liked you from the moment we met,❞ she adds quietly, leaning closer now, the flit of teasing carrying her words. ❝And I knew you were trouble before you even spoke.❞ She had known he would hurt her someday. The warning of the stars rang clear as a bell. And still, she chose him. Just as she would choose him again now.
❝I know it isn’t always easy, dealing with me, when I'm figuring it out❞ she starts, her voice dampened but much steadier now. ❝But you have no idea how much I like this—being able to feel all of it. The good and the bad. The joy, the ache, even the moments that hurt.❞
Her hand reaches for his, fingers curling around his with a gentle squeeze. ❝You make me feel things I never got to feel before, and I wouldn’t give that up for anything.❞
❝Just as I would never change anything about you.❞ She lets go of his hand, a slow, deliberate kiss pressed to his cheek instead. When the silence settles once more, she does too, sitting as close as she can beside him, her cheek coming to rest against him, content to stay there and let the feelings flourish. ❝Because not only do I love you, but I really do like you, every part of you.❞
