I was so close to reaching all of my body goals (weight, measurements, confidence) at the end of 2019. throughout 2020 until now I ended up gaining 40 pounds and my body now looks worse than when I first began my journey. I know some people are on a journey to gain weight, however I never wanted to gain weight as most of the fat I gain goes to my stomach since I have a mix between an apple and rectangle shape. All of the work I put in for 2-3 years has gone to waste.
And on top of that I'm only getting older so it'll just be harder to get my dream body in the end. And who knows when I'll eventually have kids too??
I just want to cry and give up right now. I feel like at this point I'll never feel confident in my own body.
The worst part is that I was ok with the weight gain at first because it came through a combination of ultimately good things that have happened in my life (besides covid quarantine, I've been working on finishing my last year in college, and I got a new office job, and i moved). But I saw myself on video and honestly I just felt disgusted with how I looked. My hair doesn't grow and my skin is absolutely horrible, so it's just hard to just accept my body how it is when I just don't like a single thing about the way I look now.
I'm just incredibly frustrated right now.
