already dead

//ADHD / depression / anxiety // "Tastes so bitter, feels so sweet. I've come back to old remedies"

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

I had it all and I lost it all

[paper-wounds]

[scoliosischelsea]

[lanndscape]

[imsoofuckingsad]

do i really have to be alive every day

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

I don't want to be here anymore. The world is burning slowly. My life is burning slowly. What's the point of this?

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

How did we get here? I can't talk to you about anything. I don't feel safe around you. I don't know who I am or who you are

[lunamonchtuna]

— Clementine Von Radics, from In A Dream You Saw A Way To Survive; "The Fear" (via lunamonchtuna)

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— endlessnamelesseternity (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

I'll stay outside your closed door, with ours open, just to be closer to you. And it's a bitter irony, that the way it is now is the opposite of how I lived it. That I'm the one perpetually behind the closed door, cowering in fear at the first sign. That kept your door open to me until you couldn't

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

I have this dream that you'll come home and I will run to hug you and everything will be fine. We can go back to how things used to be, push past all the flaws that we deflect onto each other, all the ways we hurt in a mirror image. Life is not so simple. You will return and it won't pan out like I wish, or if it will, once that moment has passed, it won't, and we'll slip back into our ways, dancing around our pain, using our blades on each other instead of against everyone else

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

As I expected, you pushed me away, knifed me with your blade, your lethal anger, turning anything and everything into another blade to stab me with, at random

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

I have this dream that you'll come home and I will run to hug you and everything will be fine. We can go back to how things used to be, push past all the flaws that we deflect onto each other, all the ways we hurt in a mirror image. Life is not so simple. You will return and it won't pan out like I wish, or if it will, once that moment has passed, it won't, and we'll slip back into our ways, dancing around our pain, using our blades on each other instead of against everyone else

[mournfulroses]

Ioanna Tsatsou, translated by Jean Demos, from Selected Poems; "28 September,"

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

Everything I ever feared would come true when I lost you, has now come to pass. Lying alone, listening to songs from 15 years ago to quell the pain. For a time I had it all and I never knew it turn out this way. How can the other half of my soul break me. The feelings are too complex for words and I can't move anymore

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

Forget it all, it won't ever be okay, I'll go back to being withdrawn and you'll wonder why, when you caused it

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

How foolish of me to think being more vulnerable and more affectionate would help anything, it only caused more pain

[cutting-my-sadness-away]

I wish I could sever myself from my feelings, you cause too much damage to me