Twas the Night Before Hell.
Twas the Night Before Hell, and all through the site,
Tumblr users were protesting with all of their might.
The Safe-For-Work tags were hung up with care,
In hopes that the Demon Bot would passover there.
I on my phone, in this shit mobile app,
Watched all of the memes of this website’s collapse.
The users were snuggled all tight in their beds,
While visions of female nipples danced in their heads.
The time growing nearer, porn artists grew strapped,
While I waited for a gif on this piece of shit app.
Furries and Anime was flagged with a clatter,
I checked out some posts to see what was the matter.
Away to the searches I flew with a flash,
Reloading a few times and praying not to crash.
When what to my confused eyes would appear,
“Your Post Had Been Flagged”, the reason unclear.
With a stupid red banner so lively and quick,
I knew it was a bot, who thought it was slick.
It blocked out and flagged and called them by name,
“On boobs, on hentai, on old chronic pain!”
“On furries, on sex ed, and food porn on main!”
“From the tone of their skin to art made by all!”
“All flagged as explicit, this is their downfall!”
Up to the post tops the bastards all flew,
To check out the tags, those spared were few.
They came for a post which was simply tagged “oof”,
Which was just two girls suntanning on a roof.
Users ran for the hills with new sites abound,
Like Pillowfort, Instagram and Twitter they found.
Some hopes had been tarnished, their porn side blogs thrashed,
With beautiful artwork treated like trash.
A girl with her breasts out was like a hail Mary,
And Tumblr, the hypocrite, had been quite contrary.
To innocent things they had kept saying no,
Till Apple decided that they had to go.
Then they blamed harmless porn, and without a warning,
Had taken our things, and users started warring.
Our posts were being flagged, our art we loved dearly.
The staff have no clue how to run this place, clearly.
We were frightened and frankly, a great deal pissed off,
And so many users are all logging off.
Some bread had been flagged, I knew this was broken,
The staff had no clue of the hell they’d awoken.
“Maybe a glitch?” We asked, “a quirk?”
“No.” Said the staff. “This was our work.”
The bot flagged a picture of a beautiful rose,
And later a post with a sweet baby’s nose.
The app was delayed, the damage not done,
But at least the memes were made in good fun.
Now sweet little Kirby’s been flagged as explicit.
This dumb fucking bot will never quite get it.
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
