cvpiid111

deranged bitch TW: i post about my ed

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i relapsed in my sobriety lmao (drugs not alc, i don't count alc as affecting sobriety bc it feels medicinal)

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shoutout to that one time i went viral for some shi

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i'm just gonna post all my drafts without editing them :D

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i have never once intentionally saved smth as a draft.. i just try to post shit whilst in a chudlike haze and then forget abt writing it

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i also miss u :/ @idkwhattoputbroo @sorryimanempath @sizzlingcandyje1lyfish @gir11indisguise @alfvr @cerealmuncher5000 @xluxlindsayx and also as small as a doll, Z! idk her @

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i have a whole hour unmonitored at school... what to do what to do

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bro... there's this guy who lowkey has rizz but isn't my type that i might be down bad for

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new high unlocked: everyone looks ai generated

like my friend looked like one of those ai videos like i was spawned in "chatgpt, generate a video of a girl in a coffee shop"

it was interesting to watch, but i got the feeling that that's what hell is like

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i'm just gonna post all my drafts without editing them :D

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i bought the absolute best thing i have ever owned today...

a stainless steel hip flask which says "worlds best dad"

literally my prized possession now

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wishing i was fruity rn

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my mommy issues r becoming more and more apparent

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i’m brewing my own cider rn and once it’s done i will definitely NOT be freeze distilling it to concentrate the alcohol… that would require a permit or smth so like i said i’m NOT gna be doing that

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idk how i even let myself get like this holy shit

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anyway um here’s some pineapple (was 89g 45c)

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i’m back.

i’m fat and the boy i like isn’t texting me back lmao so yk what that means…

time to blame all my problems on my body 😃

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my ed sent me to the ER. a cautionary tale.

tw: tmi, ed discussion

Not too long ago, I got really sick. I was in a pattern of restricting both food and fluids. Now, I've never been super skinny (even in times when i was fasting for 30+ hours regularly and eating <300-700 calories a day), so I thought I was immune to ed side effects (not sick enough mentality). I was wrong.

I wound up in the ER after 15 hours of extreme abdominal pain and vomiting. It was so bad I thought I had appendicitis. After some testing and a CT scan (the contrast material they injected me with was genuinely one of the weirdest drugs i've ever done), it was revealed that I was chronically constipated. Ew, right? I wasn't surprised though. I habitually restricted fluids and opted for high fiber foods to keep me 'fuller'. NAWTT a good combo y'all. Anyway, They basically told me I had hit my cap and i was throwing up because my bowels were no longer able to move. I was severely dehydrated.

Ummm so anyway. Moving forward. After that I felt like shit and was too sick to gaf about restricting. I just wanted to feel healthy and like i ought to be alive. So I started eating again. Three times a day. Absolutely horrifying, really my younger self's worst nightmare. at least it wasn't forced recovery. I gained a few pounds at first, then maintained. Apparently when you don't starve yourself, you don't get ravenously hungry and binge eat. But I'm actually kind of healthier now. Like, I have energy that didn't come from a can. It's sooooo weird to be posting this. I've been in self destruct mode for years.

I wouldn't say I'm 'recovered'. I still feel fat. I'm actually actively losing weight now.. but it's not controlling (I think it's just a byproduct of having a healthy digestive system and being active). My mindset has shifted to prioritizing health for myself. Soooooo lame ohmygawddd.

Anway y'all. ya girl's trying to be happy and has decided that she'd rather not miss out on things because she thinks she looks fat.

I will probs still be on edblr tho cos who gaf i do whatever the fook i want

[t0r1rex1aaa]

I was infected by brain eating prions, help me find my mutuals?