ᴛʜᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀs ᴍɪɢʜᴛ *

Ⅶ. 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥, 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 [ ... ]

[cvrsdordr-a]

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[cvrsdordr-a]

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[cvrsdordr-a]

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[cvrsdordr-a]

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[conniidel-deactivated20230415]

she  would  ‘  never  ’…  but  look  at  her  tho.

[cvrsdordr-a]

skywalkeir asked: “ seems to me like you know more than you’re letting in on.”

an astute observation, given the situation the other was currently in. still there was little doubt in the former admirals mind while blue eyes locked with the jedis. rather would this man perish in a cell for the rest of his life, than give away vital information about the fleets current location. even so, what was a mere life when faced with an entire regime? head titled to the side, a smirk following pale lips, ironic to be faced with the last jedi. indeed the admiral must have been too important to simply dispose of his body and mind. 

still the question lingered in the room. although adan had chosen to never speak with this rebel scum - had the time come to explain himself and his believes. ‘’ indeed, skywalker. i am aware of a great many things, even the desired location of the imperial fleet. but whatever makes you think that i would betray my people? ‘’ determination spread across his face, eyes mirroring the simple disgust of being in contact with a war criminal.  ‘’ i would rather die. ‘’ bold words, still they held great meaning to the former admiral. 

[cvrsdordr-a]

orders had been given to secure new trade lines between the first order and arkanis, a system valuable to the further reaches of the known galaxy. diplomatic missions required a certain amount of charm and respect, things the man possessed enough of. still it had never been in the admirals blood to linger among royalty and make small talk with people that would be insignificant to the outcome. long had the man argued with the supreme leader, words were ignored however. for snoke knew about his accomplishments and put great faith in the admirals deductions. the flight was long, a proud fleet coming out of hyperspace to greet the people of arkanis, adan daring to present himself with royal gowns of his own choosing. black and red clothes lingered on toned skin, the insignia of the first order painted across his arm. a proud man, seemingly enjoying the attention he was giften by other participants. stormtroopers lingered in the halls, ready to assist the admiral should the king choose to defy the first orders wishes. 

it was a brief talk, exchanging mere pleasantries before the real negotiations would continue. nonetheless, adan had seen the dim shadow of a man hiding away from the visible eye. no doubt the prince, a young boy locked away by his own father. the admiral had seen the reports, knew how the man looked like. perhaps the easiest way to achieve his goals in the end. still the man chose to ignore the kings disgraceful words about his son - instead blue eyes locked with green ones, examining the face of true beauty. indeed the people of arkanis were breathtakingly beautiful, not to mention the riches they carried around their planet. a people strong and willful. weapons for the first order. 

but there was no time to dwell in thoughts, for his eyes caught the exit of the king. privacy to unfold a plan that would resume around the young prince. ‘’ Admiral Adan Carissian Varn, your highness. ‘’ smooth as silk, a voice that would make any women tremble in its wake. gloved hands taking a hold of smaller paler hands, placing a kiss upon them. a small bow to further dress his diplomatic charm ans wits. such a powerful man, bowing his head for the prince of arkanis, no doubt rumors would arise. ‘’ i have been informed about the beauty of your world, yet they forgot to mention that you are the center of it all. i humble myself in your presence. ‘’ 

[cloudyfacewithjam]

[cvrsdordr-a]

[gvgvdans]

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts

“ did you really have to be that honest? ” “ every time i see you i just feel more alone. ” “ you changed me. ” “ was this all just a joke to you? ” “ i don’t want to know. ” “ can we start over? ” “ you make me feel so insecure. ” “ i don’t know if i can love you. ” “ every time i wake up i’m reaching for you … but you’re never there. ” “ of course it meant something! ” “ stop yelling! ” “ i gave up on you a long time ago. ” “ you think i care about you? cute. ” “ did you just forget about me or something? ” “ i still need you. ” “ i wanna say that there’s still hope but sometimes things just don’t go your way. ” “ you said you would keep trying! ” “ no, you ARE strong. ” “ you promised me! ” “ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” “ i gave you everything i had. ” “ your eyes can be so cruel … ” “ i can never do anything right can i !? ” “ i want my life back. ” “ stop crying. ” “ you should go. ” “ don’t come back. ” “ does hurting me make you feel good or something? ” “ just stop it. ” “ i was never in love with you now leave me alone! ”

[cvrsdordr-a]

was he really mocking him for feeling the pain of a lost soul? was it so ridiculously funny to the man that wore his face like a cruel joke. either way, the man struggled to regain his posture. knowing what an easy target he was. drunk, depressed and definitely not in a state to fight this man off by himself. the comments mocked him, anger boiling inside. but he knew better than to act upon it - he had learned from the past, right? ‘’ oh, fuck off. at least my ass is fuckin’ self aware. you just shoot people because it’s fun. ‘’ it was the alcohol speaking, a man acting out of emotion. indeed he had not learned anything. instead a gun was pulled - an unloaded gun, against a man that would not think twice about blowing his brains out. but it went unnoticed by the cop, instead he decided to go on a rant. ‘’ you think yourself so clever, guess what, crazy, i’ll end your fuckin’ life. see how you like it. the city would kiss my ass for years. i wouldn’t even get in trouble for knocking you the fuck out. ‘’ 

[anxiousbutconfident]

when lazy kissing gets intense with that deep breath and hip pull

[cvrsdordr-a]

not an inch of his body flinched, instead the man simply resumed in their eye contact. knowing that this was but a test to see if his intentions were indeed true. there was no easy way to betray her trust - for there was none to begin with. but manipulation and charm had always been the admirals best traits. ‘’ your first mission? ‘’ cautious, knowing that each step could lead to her doom. a wise woman indeed. a warm smile spread on pale lips, letting his head title to the side. trying to give nothing away from his plan to use her as his own weapon against his enemies and soothsayers. ‘’ your first mission would only entail your cooperation regarding the poor pilot you merely deformed. give me the information of this one and i will make sure that no master shall control you. ‘’ 

[cvrsdordr-a]

this woman clearly had a disorientated view upon the world and how it actually worked. the audacity to pressure the guilt on a man that was simply doing his duty was impossible to realize. indeed this one had never interacted with another human before. ‘’ fuck your stupid cake! ‘’ the mans voice boomed, shaking his head in response to her words. words bashing against a never resting mountain - adan began to wonder whether or not this woman even understood how an apology worked. or what such things entailed. either way, an eye began to twitch, the usual response to being called out for no reason whatsoever. ‘’ i was standing right fucking here, lady. how hard is it for you to go around me? wasn’t like i’m not wearing my police uniform or anything. its a neon green, are you blind? ‘’ an honest question that would no doubt resume in adan being called in for questioning once again. great, more paperwork for insulting an civilian. 

[cvrsdordr-a]

how could this man change demeanor so quickly? it was a trait the other had always admired. a fearsome leader, that was eager to burn down whatever stood in his way - but there was more to him than his outward expression. varn wished to reach for him, make him understand that such things are needed to secure his legacy. whatever would adan do if his superior and former lover would be crushed under the might of the supreme leader. nothing but a shell of his former self would be left. 

a broken man that had always carried his heart. still the generals words stung deep, like a blaster blot having been shot right through his chest. although his cold expression had been normalized, were his words still able to crush the mans spirit further. almost praying that snoke would have killed him right then and there. for a broken heart was a foolish one - it was easy to manipulate. just then, blue eyes had begun to swell, tears forming. 

such emotions were new, the fear of loss consuming his very being. a rift had been created between them, whatever their plans for the future were, they had crumbled to dust. ‘’ valle bey rompi mia kor. ‘’ whispered under his breath, tight throat preventing to translate his words into basic. 

cruel words from a man that he had called lover just minutes before their meeting with the supreme leader. silent confessions nothing more but lies. adan should have known, how foolish he had been. ‘’ my love for you was real, armitage. do not presume to know my intentions. ‘’ sharp words, filled with pain and sorrow. they were meant to break down his every defense, make him see how the man suffered. ‘’ and i would have died for you, if given the chance. ‘’ gloved hands rose to wipe the tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. knowing that he had shown enough weakness. posture was corrected, knowing that dwelling on emotions would be useless in a time of war. 

still if they were going to be honest with each other, perhaps now was the time to confess his sins once and for all. ‘’ what i fool i was to believe that this facade was anything more than a game to you. your words mean nothing to me, and neither does your false praise. present it to ren, perhaps he shall fall for your wicked games as well, general. ‘’ 

[cloudyfacewithjam]