slow decay. @cxrpsescxnt - Tumblr Blog

Corpse | 27 | MDNI

junkorexia & ✨autism✨

( diagnosed schizoid. )

pro-recovery but that shits not for me 🫶🏻

stats:

#jrnl.

waking up at 2am to drink at 6am to get fucked at 7:30am like a mentally healthy adult

#jrnl.

officially need to hit 120 by dec 21st which is an insane long shot but boy howdy am i absolutely obligated bc

I NEED TO PISS MY NARCISSIST MOTHER OFF AND BRAAAAAG ABOUT HOW I DID IN FACT FIND A MAN WHO LOVES ME IDCCC IDGAFFFFF

#let me absolutely shove her fucking face into our beautiful home & me being skinny god pls im begging #jrnl.

cxrpsescxnt

panic & stress binging 🫶🏻

i’m out of liquor ✨

IM OUT OF WEED 😰

cxrpsescxnt

bf bought both & our fatass activities may continue

#i think i’ve actually gone insane but im just ignoring it #jrnl.

panic & stress binging 🫶🏻

i’m out of liquor ✨

IM OUT OF WEED 😰

#jrnl.

nearly alc poisoned myself & im on a temp scared bitch baby sobriety break 🫶🏻

#it’s been 2 days now and my heart is Not fuckin fine actually #jrnl.

pvrged for the very first time lmfao

mostly in extreme panic bc i forgot i had shots then took double & that is F A R more alc than i can handle

it’s been (5) minutes and i’m literally waiting for the extreme consequences to be absorbed oh my fucking god omfggg

on the other hand i must admit im lowkey like very very quietly staring myself down rn like. r we getting Bad bad or just being dramatic idk

#it would truly be so so so godlike if i actually had even just (1) less than i think i did but hooo boyyy #anyways ive discovered why yall say not to purge spicy shit WHAT THE FUCK #AND ALSO WHY COULD I TELL EXACTLY WHAT WAS WHAT…..#jrnl.

having an absolute mental breakdown at the realization i’m actually living in this fucking life rn

#like on god it’s every goth girl’s dream but i’ve only ever wanted to be dead so like #how can i have literally everything that’d make everyone else happy and just. not give a fuck. still wanna die. lmfao #jrnl.

you’d think i’d starve in times similar to the last time i was fasting for days on end but instead im just.

drinking to the point of blackout and getting fat

great choices love this love myself

#jrnl.

chuped

when u weigh so little u can get drunk really easy and its much cheaper and thats important to me

20hr fast broken w fiber gummies & oatmeal crumble = 200

probably getting drunk and ordering indian food,

even if i have an extra shot & the whole fuckin meal it should be 2100 total M A X + i usually split it into two days

+ i have zero sugar mixer instead of my insane soda sugar bombs lmao

#will be immensely disappointed in myself if i eat the fudge brownies in the fridge lmao #jrnl.

uln

lock in, be private, accept the loneliness, and fix your life. level up.

terrified of a driving test as if i haven’t passed it before lmfao

#mmmm might die tho. yknow?#jrnl.

25,000 steps today against my will : )

#jrnl.

every single person except me & (1) other called out on a saturday

the other has bought us buzzballs and we’re drinking on the fucking clock lmao

16 hour shifts min wage no overtime & no tips is so fun 🫶🏻

#garbage human behavior but i’m a fucking raccoon anyways #jrnl.

about to weigh as the start of a new ‘program’ i’ve made reasonably realistic for myself

probably gonna vom on sight of the number but oooof gotta do it

#jrnl.

i am completely & totally normal about every minor change and/or pattern my brain notices

#i’m going to fucking kill myself over a behavioral difference #jrnl.

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