my rules will say I’m 23 or something for 4 years but in actuality I’m timeless
I’m 28 I’m on @greaterfinds

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@cyclone24
my rules will say I’m 23 or something for 4 years but in actuality I’m timeless
I’m 28 I’m on @greaterfinds
at the grocery store i bought 2 limes and a lemon and the checker said to me "two limes and a lemon... Anything could happen"
stiles going to bh wearing a shirt that says a c a b ! on the front and then even my dad on the back
*parks horribly in front of your house* i love you so much
I’m gonna SHITPOST then see if stiles still lives within my mind
didn’t see the movie but I like to think that’s all happening with stiles just sleeping through it
my rules will say I’m 23 or something for 4 years but in actuality I’m timeless
🕴
gavegifts.
“we leave th’ hidin’ for th’ amatoors,” theo affirms with a sharp nod. if this were almost any other fazbear facility he’d have basically the whole thing scoped out, but with how big this place was and all the stupid security tags and clearances on the doors it made getting his bearings a lot harder. that and moving the puppet took a lot out of him, and he could only stray so far from it astrally. “okay – we gotta get you same tags. passes. th’ security cards.” theo flaps his hand impatiently, not willing to wait even for himself to figure out the right word for it. “so y’can get into all th’ doors. mos’ of ‘em are gonna be at the front desks of the diff’rent places, i think. if we get the tags we can get into the guard rooms. and we can mess stuff up.” the devilish grin deepens for a moment then becomes serious. “ – ‘n there’s a kid stuck here tonight, too. we gotta make sure nothin’ happens to him either.”
right. of course. the amatoors. something which they, decidedly, are not. as theo tells him what they’re going to do, he nods and nods and nods, taking the information in as he ties the puppet’s arms and legs around him--- like the world’s creepiest baby bjorn. fantastic. the only thing that gives him pause, is the mention of the child. “there’s a kid?” that’s bad news. kid trapped in the place designed for kids maybe doesn’t seem so bad, but stiles is looking at a prime example of what happens to kids that slip through the cracks in a place like this. “shit.” theo’s mess stuff up plan might have to take a back seat, at least until they find the kid. “this place is huge,” he mutters, taking in just this room alone, hands on his hips. he gives theo a look. “security clearance first, kid second, messing stuff up maybe.”
gavegifts.
theo’s giddy joy at reuniting with stiles mixes with his somehow giddier joy at having backup at a place he wants to utterly demolish. that’ll teach them for dragging him in as decor for the third floor arcade. the puppet doll, who had been swinging from the black and white striped rafters and electrical wires above, goes limp as it’s over stiles, draping itself over his shoulders like a backpack. at almost the same moment, theo flickers into forms in front of stiles, an impish grin searing itself into his face. “y’don’t even have that many grey hairs yet. c’mon – ’m not locked in here w’th them – they’re locked in here with me! i mean – us!”
the thud of all too heavy ( all too familiar ) fabric landing on his back shouldn’t come as a surprise. even so, he lets out a little squeak of fear surprise. definitely surprise. as long suffering as the sigh that follows it is, there is something about seeing theo’s small form, poised for mayhem before him, that makes all the running and screaming seem worth it. “easily said, when you’re not the one they want to take a bite out of.” he knows he’s picked the winning team, though. in the fazbear game of bunny, chicken, bear? the puppet always comes out on top. “what’s the game plan, here? something tells me you won’t be content to hide for the next---” he glances down at his watch. “--- six freakin’ hours.”
“i understand,” stiles says through huffs of ragged breath. “that this venue was probably not your personal choice. but can you please stop putting me in situations where i get chased by fuckin’ robots all night?” he hates it. he hates it so, so much more here than he ever did at the old place. it’s so big. it’s huge. he hates it. he wants to leave. he wants to take theo’s little puppet ass and go. “like, if people try and remove you from your place of residence, how about you fight back? i will give the doll a knife. a gun! i don’t care. i am too old to be doing this.” // @gavegifts heehhehehehe
starslung·
“your entire argument is flawed because in that metaphor i would literally be on your dick, which is something i can guarantee will never happen. oreo or not.”
“so you admit it. you’d fuck another oreo.”
starslung·
“jeez, at least i have the grace to admit when i’m not people’s cup of tea. are you actually delusional enough to think you’re a delight to be around? genuinely?”
“the closest thing you are to a cup of tea is if they gave me the wrong drink at starbucks, the lid popped off, and i accidentally spilled it in my lap while i was driving and ended up with third degree burns all over my crotch. don’t compare yourself to tea. i’d never compare myself to tea. me? i’m more like a delicious snack. i’m the oreo of people.”
starslung·.
“if you were saying something even slightly clever it would be hard to process, considering all the bullshit its surrounded by. like, have you ever had a filter? or has everyone you’ve ever met been subjected to this, too? if so, they all have my condolences.”
“projection, much? everyone else i’ve ever met has been delighted by my wit and my banter and the soothing cadence of my voice. you’re the exception, not the rule. i can’t help that your eardrums don’t know what to do with genius. sounds like a you problem.”
starslung·:
“you know what’s really difficult? having to sit here and listen to you stress syllables in words while you act like you’re doing something really clever with the english language.”
“i can see how cleverness is hard to process after you’ve spent so much time with your own thoughts. man, that has to be difficult. i should know. i’m spending time with your thoughts right now. you have my condolences.”