Desist

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[d3s1st]

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality 𓂃◞⟢

— Shirley Gackson

Des. She/her. Sixteen. Lgbtq+

↟ Medieval dividers by: @honeyluvsw

Requests : Open

જ⁀➴

⋆｡˚ Guidelines M!list About me

[honeyedclover]

look at my youtuber dawg 😭 throatgoatfs

[kookoodzilla]

How it feels hitting that save button before making a chose so I can explore the carriage for the queen, gaming on the couch and... *gulp* rose petal set up in one evening.

[heavenlyshadowhunter]

I love them

[d3s1st]

Navigating requests!

↟ I take a while making oneshots, fanfics, etc. So be patient.

↟ I find other people's output on characters or just random things interesting, so do feel free to rant to me!

↟ Sadly I do only write for F!reader.

↟ I I’ll write: fluff, angst, smut, explicit, and gore.

↟ I will NOT write: incest, adult+minor.

Fandoms

↟Hellsing

⤷ Alucard

↟Dr Stone

⤷ Stanley Snyder, Xeno Winfield

↟Creepypasta

⤷ Ticky Tobby

↟Tr

⤷ Chifuyu Marsuno, Mikey Sano

↟Mphfpc

⤷ Enoch O’Connor

[honeyluvsw]

── ✶ RED MEDIEVAL DIVIDERS !

please credit ; like & reblog to use, thanks <3 for recolors, ask me !

[d3s1st]

It's better with two

Stanley x f!reader x Dr.Xeno || [oneshot♡]

⋆.˚ In which ˎˊ˗

⤷ You're in your junior year of high school and want nothing more than to focus on studying, yet your friends convinced you to come to a party. At the party, you met Stanley, someone you wanted to take home, but your friend dragged you away. Only to meet you again and introduce a friend of his. Sucking you in between them, wanting both, and wanting to see both on each other.

Wc: +3.8k

Warning(s): Sex jokes, explicit language (kind of), talks of three-way, characters is oc-ish. (If I miss any, let me know)

Your teen years were filled with a tight-knit friend group, and that was enough for you. It didn’t help that you were super focused on your studies; you knew what you wanted to do, and nothing could shake that, so it was a straight shot, well, you thought.

It was your second-to-last year in high school, and you had never been more focused on your studies, working late at night on papers that were due the next day. No room to think about anything else– barely making room for friends, you knew what you wanted, and nothing could stop you from getting what you wanted.

Somehow, someway, your friends convinced you to come out on Friday to some party that was happening. It wasn’t going to be your first time partying, but it was something that you thought you were done with, especially now that you were bunkering down on studying.

Yet they were begging, and it hit your weak spot, so with a sigh, you agree hesitantly, knowing deep down that it will be good for you to have a change in your mind.

Friday came like a wave washing away your thoughts on what you're going to do for your next project, but filling your mind with what you are going to wear and how to do your makeup.

“I heard Aaron is going to be there,” Lexi spoke over the music playing in the background of your room. “I’m sorry, what?!” Nova gasped, sticking her head out of the bathroom that was connected to your room. “Wait, wasn’t that her ex-talking stage?” you exclaim over your shoulder, too busy looking for what to wear. “Pft, yeah, no, they’ve gone back to talkin’,” Ryea said.

“C’mon, weren’t they, like, toxic to each other-” “HEY!” Nova shouted, cutting you off. “Now that you say that. Yeah, they were” Lexi agreeing, thinking about the past telling of him by Nova. “Guys, come! He’s just too hot to ignore,” Nova squealed, thinking about him. “Sorry, girlfriend, but no,” she said. “Just because you're into girls, Lexi, doesn’t mean you get to dis on him,” Nova pouted. Lexi looked over at Ryea, who was shaking her head, snickering to herself.

“So what time are we going to the party?” you asked. “In two hours or so,” replied Ryea, checking her phone before dropping it on your bed and getting up to get ready, nodding your head, letting her know that you heard her. Moving from your dresser, satisfied that you found something you liked. “Lexi, are you done getting ready?” you questioned, noticing that she was missing a few touches. “No, not yet. Nova is just hogging the mirror.” “AM NOT,” Nova shouted

“You know, if we decide to get ready together at one of your guys’ houses, we wouldn’t have this problem.” “Plus, you guys have bigger rooms,” you added, “Well, we don't have a connecting bathroom to ours.” Ryea justifies them, “Also, your room is just more homie.” Lexi said. “Is that so?” You raised an eyebrow, moving to the full-length mirror that was propped up on a wall to start doing your makeup, “Totes!” Nova chirpy walking out of the bathroom and plopping down on your bed, waiting for all of you to be done getting ready.

A few conversations later, and everyone was ready to head out. Lexi is volunteering to be the designated driver. She’s having brunch tomorrow with her family and doesn’t want to deal with a blinding hangover, which is the only reason she is being the designated driver.

Pulling up to the place, it was already packed with even more cars coming through. “This house better have a decent selection of liquor,” you grumble while getting out of the car. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up if I were you,” Ryea said, walking next to you. Nova and Lexi followed Close behind to not get left.

Opening the door, you were met with a grey cloud from all the joints and cigarettes being passed around, not to mention the smell of liquor floating through the air. “This is a party, alright,” Nova said before running to find where the joints were being passed around. Yeah, she was already gone.

Lexi went off on her own, probably scouting some hot girls who are willing to do a three-way. Knowing her, she’ll make her way back to check in, same with Nova.

“Well then. Let's get some drinks,” Ryea suggests– no convincing needed, you follow after her lead. Thankfully, the house was not that big, and it only took a minute to find the kitchen. “Here,” Ryea said, handing you a red solo cup with most likely every kind of liquor found in it, taking a sip, you knew immediately that you're going to be doubled over the toilet, chanting that you’ll never touch another red solo cup again. For now, though, you’ll enjoy the burn of the liquid seeping down your throat.

Somehow you teleport outside and your three– five cups are down? You’ve lost count. Lexi has made an appearance now and then, same with Nova, but she’s in another universe.

“Ryea! Imma’m gonna get another cup,” you slurred, shaking your cup side to side, indicating that it’s empty. “Mhm,” she answered, going back to the conversation with someone who came up to us.

Stumbling slightly through the door, to the kitchen.

Stepping through that door might have changed your life forever, because upon looking at the counter, there was a trophy placed on it, shining in its own glory, waiting to be taken home. Yeah, so you wanted him and those lips decorated with what seems like purple lipstick and a smoke hanging from them.

“What’d you doin’ sitin' here all alone?” you smirked, finally getting a closer look at him, “Siting, yeah. Alone, no. I'm just waiting for a friend to get back from the bathroom.” Amusement flickered across his face, “Don’t you say…” “Stanley,” he said, taking the hint that I didn’t know his name. “Well, Stanley~ this so-called friend shouldn’t leave you too long, because you might just get taken” flirtation leaking from your voice, “I’m sure you’ll love that,” he answered, following a long.

“The only thing I’m not sure about is whether you’d like to be called a ‘good boy’ or to be degraded.” Those words fall from your lips without hesitation while slotting yourself between his spread legs and putting a hand on the counter on the left side of his thigh, almost touching it. Leaning into him, tilting your head, while ever so slightly craning your head so your nose nearly touches his, your breath fanning over his lips and his smoke fanning over yours, wanting to get a taste of those purple lips so bad to the point it's driving you insane!

“Y/n?... OH MY GOODNESS!” Lexi's tone is getting higher at the end, realizing that I was basically on top of a random dude. She made quick work of grabbing you to pulling you off him, spewing apologies, at the same time saying that you were drunk. Yet he didn’t need to be told that; anyone can tell by looking at you.

“Keep her safe. That mouth of hers can get her anything”, he laughed, giving a wave to your silhouette being dragged away. “No, I wasn’t at the part where I got married to him,” you whined, hands being thrown over your friend's shoulder, trying to get back to him.

The car ride home was long for your friends, from crying about almost getting him to come home with you to praising his looks and how he could look under you. Let's just say there are images in your friend's head that can't be erased.

Tomorrow came, posing as a hard task to you, as you expected, you were over the toilet bowl wallow away, spewing curse words and new vows at the same time. Your mind was a fog on top of it– can’t quite get a grip on what happened last night, well, from what Lexi told you, brings a tiny breakthrough. All you can muster is purple lips and the smell of smoke, which does match Lexi's words.

You groaned, wishing to never run into him. Ever.

“So what’d you want to do about food?” Ryea asked, scrolling on her phone, comfortable in your bed. Gagging, along with flushing of a toilet, was heard. “Ryea, seriously,” your muffled voice making it out to your bedroom, it being returned with unseriousness, “You did this to yourself, girl.” “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just give me a minute… or an hour,” you replied.

By Monday, you’ll have recovered with all stars. Ready to start whatever work is thrown your way.

“Omg, I saw this absolute cutie at the party!” Nova hyped, making sure that everyone who was standing around your locker heard, “Wait… What about Aaron?” Ryea prodded. “Oh, him, yeah, he had his tongue down someone's throat,” she scoffed, foot tapping the ground. “Toxic” came out of both your and Lexi’s mouths.

“Yeah, whatever,” Nova mumbled to herself, lips forming a pout, bringing her arms up to cross over her chest. There was silence that fell between us, which was interrupted by a soft thump against a locker. A locker that was right next to yours, closing the one to yours, wanting to see who or what it was. You were greeted with caramelized eyes with purple lips, “Hey, flirts,” fell past the lips that held a shit eating grin. You slowly move your eyes to look at your friends, seeing that Lexi was mouthing something, taking a moment to focus on her lips, you added it up.

He was the trophy that had you sputtering in the car.

Stanley.

“Oh. My. God,” you muttered with tight lips. Trying and failing to hold up a smile, turning your attention back to him, you spoke, “Hi.” It fell past your tight smile to sweet, to friendly. “Need some liquor to talk?” almost sounds like a statement to you instead of a question. It was both totally. Looking to your lovely friends for help, but kidded you not– they’re already ten feet away. Basterds.

Settling back to the task ahead, “Hah… I can do without just fine,” you said, “You’re sure?” “Because I can repeat the things you said to me so confidently, what happened to that?” he added, popping a lolly into his mouth. “Oh. No, that’s fine, we can do without,” you said, drooping your right hand under your left elbow, propping it so your left hand fingers can pinch the inner corner of your eyes.

“So who's your friend?” Changing the subject, “Hmm, ah, he's the friend that I said went to the bathroom,” he said, his friend moving out from behind him. “So I heard,” you nodded, eyes moving over to the white hair.

“I’m Xeno,” bringing his hand out to be shaken, returning it with a smile on your face, “Y/n, nice to meet you,” giving his hand a firm squeeze, “Likewise”.

You thought you were dead just by one of them, but there's now TWO, your double done for– so executed. You’ve got one bumpy road ahead of you.

“No, not only was it just him, there was his friend too.” Hands coming up to cover your eyes, wanting to hide, “Simple answer, have a threesome.” Lexi's mouth was being muffled by her chewing of– who knows what kind of candy.

“Three…some. LEXI!! I beg your pardon! Of course, you would say that” you sighed not moving, “There is one thing I can’t shake…” lifting your hands from your eyes to look at them before setting them back down. “Well, keep going!” Nova is encouraged to keep going.

“I-I can’t stop imagining them on top of each other!” you spat out, hands furiously rubbing your eyes, wanting to think of anything other than that (not really). Ryea choked on her drink, and Nova was left speechless.

“You're whipped.” 

“YA’ THINK!” sitting up now, hands slumped at your sides, “So what do I do, Lexi?” you breathed, asking the only person here who has/ had tried to have a threesome. “You see, when I do it, it's mostly girls,” she answered. “Lexi, I don’t think gender matters,” you said. 

“I would just let it happen if you really want it,” she said. “Just make sure that they are into each other and well you, also if they're into that kind of relationship,” Lexi advised. Figuring out if they like each other will be a breeze; you can already slightly tell because of their body language towards each other. 

You hope at least.

“Y/n!” Your name being hollered stopped you. Glancing everywhere, you saw him approaching from behind you. “Oh! Xeno, hi,” you greeted him. “Hi to you too. I was just heading to the lad if you want to join me?” he offered, holding up a smile. “Sure,” you said, growing a smile yourself. “I don’t know if Stan will be joining,” he said, thinking about whether Stan was busy this afternoon or not.

Nevertheless, you and he made your way to the science lab, entering the sterile room, which sent a shiver down your spine. Xeno notices, deciding to hand you a lab coat similar to his. You expect it to have a different last name on it. It didn’t, before you could ask, he answered you, “Stan would forget his jacket sometimes, so I just got a lab coat made for him. He also insisted on having my last name on it still,” he explained while moving around, setting up his lab space.

‘Yeah, seems like him,’ the phrase barely escapes your lips. You dragged your feet to one of the chairs that were at his table, plopping down on it, bobbing from the force of you landing on it. Shifting your gaze from the ceiling to the outside, seeing raindrops begging to litter all over the window, racing down to see which would win.

“Ha, it's raining,” you pointed out. Now, propping your right elbow on the counter so that your chin can rest on your right hand. Eyes dazing out to the world.

“That it is,” Xeno said, keeping his whole focus on whatever he was working on, but trusting your words.

Our short-lived conversation was broken by the door to the lab being opened rather roughly by the one and only Stanley Snyder, who was in loose-fitting jeans and a clear, you mean white t-shirt. “Damn, it’s raining,” Stan groaned, raking his fingers through his soaked hair. “Wow, I’m wet– cough cough– I mean, you're wet… yeah…” your hand coming up to hide your reddening cheeks. Your eyes are having a hard time looking away from his see-through shirt, not to mention his high beams are… On.

Pulling away from the view, you peek at Xeno, and– well, he’s doing the same damn thing as you. Before delving too much into the images that are popping into your mind, like your death just befallen you. 

Shuffling the lab coat off of you and handing it to Stan, knowing he’s freezing his ass off in this lab. “Thanks, flirts,” taking it from me, wrapping it around him. “I would think you're smarter to carry a jacket around, especially now that it’s getting colder,” you sighed, retaking your seat, and Stan taking the one right next to you. 

“I forgot it,” he grumbled under his breath, “Hmm, I didn’t catch that?” you snickering while cuffing your ear at the same time. “Tch, I said I forgot it,” Stanley pronounced his words more clearly this time around, “Yeah? Maybe you’ll remember next time, especially when you wear white, it's obvious that it gets super clear when wet.” – “Giving us a show,” taking a breath before starting your next words. “Sorry?!” his eyes popping, “Are you really? Because I’m soaked now,” trying to pout and not slip up into a smirk.

POOF

Charcoal, like smoke coming up, engulfed his head, staining his lab coat, along with his face. “I wasn’t even teasing you,” trying to hold in a laugh, “Yet I still have ears,” he stated, “Let me clean this up, then we can go home.” “I’ll help,” you said, standing and getting to work, Stan helping himself.

“Oh, can you drive me home to Stan? Please,”

“Fine, but you're not getting aux, I’on trust you.”

It's been months since you first met Stan and Xeno.

All the last times you’ve hung out with the guys, it would be your house. This time, you’re at Xeno’s house in his room. It was pretty spacious, a couple of shelves filled with books around the room, a bed in a corner, a desk across to it with a window above it, and lastly a TV center on the opposite wall of the bed.

You stood scanning his collection of books, yet your mind was miles away. Then the question came, “How could a three-way work?” said to yourself, but they heard. You never gave much thought to it because you didn’t have two people on your mind. Even then, it was hard to imagine.

“Thinking of certain people, flirts?” Stanley said, doing his own thing. “Fuck you,” words beating their way out, turning to have your back to the books, arms folded over your chest, glare hard set on Stanley. His eyes were already fixated on you, and you knew– just knew nothing good was going to come out of that mouth. “When. And. Where” he made sure you understood him, spacing those damn words. “Ugh, you get on my nerves.” Your arms swing out, hands making a choking position, then you vigorously shake them back and forth. He laughed, “You like it though”.

Rolling your eyes, you move to lean against the desk right beside where Xeno was seated, working on whatever, well, trying, “You guys done teasing each other?” he questioned. “I’ll tease something else,” you said, looking over just in time to see Stan making a stroking motion. You both chuckled… “I’ll take that as a no…” Xeno spoke slowly, a light blush developing across his face.

You weren’t going to make new friends this year or years after that, but then those two popped up. What if you didn’t walk up to the hottie that night, psyching out and fulfilling your main mission? Would they appear again, or just never exist to you?

You didn’t know, not wanting too anyway.

All you can do is enjoy the company they bring, forever glamorizing it.

It was a few hours after school, and the duo was hanging out at your place, everyone doing their own thing. Stan is playing his gun game on the floor, claiming that the rug that you had was soft, wanting to lie on it. Xeno, on the other hand, was mapping out a device that you had no clue about. What you did know was that it made a mess of your desk.

You lie on your bed. You’ve invited Stanley multiple times, but he has denied each try, so you moved to Xeno next, trying to lure him in. He didn’t bite, sighing, you went back to doom scrolling, legs hanging off the edge, kicking up in the air now and then.

The bed dips, instantly looking over your shoulder, you see Xeno getting on in his long-sleeved turtleneck with some basic trousers, discarding his lab coat long ago. “It would be better with no clothes on, but it will have to do.” Batting your eyelashes towards him, “You think so?” He thinks about it, “I know so,” you teasingly whisper.

He laughed fully on the bed now, lying flat on his back, eyes monitoring the ceiling. You sit beside him, legs half tucked under you, while your left hand is placed by his left bicep. You put your upper body strength on said left arm so that your right side could hover over him.

Tracing your fingers from his chest up to the hem of the turtleneck, pointer finger dipping in and slightly pulling it down, “Too bad you're wearing this, I’ll never be able to leave a hickey.” sadness washing over your face, wanting to get a taste.

“I could just take it off, better yet, I’ll place you on top of me. You would look good on top of me, yeah?” Xeno smirked, seeing the blush take over your face. 

Did he? He did. Saying the longest, sexiest thing to you. Sure, he would flirt with you, but it was always light, nothing like this.

Stanley's ears perked the moment things got hot and thick. Stan came up from behind. You sat on your heels, shocked by what Xeno said. You're dazed, face red– tomato red, you didn’t feel Stan's presence until he was turning your head, tilting it up so you could look at him, “No…” “You’ve lost her,” Stan laughed, a pure, loud laugh.

Xeno blinked. 

“Really? I didn’t even do anything extreme.”

 “True, but it was enough for her,” he was still laughing, “Give her a minute, she’ll come around,” Stan stated, grabbing his phone off the floor to come join us on the bed.

Did you picture every thought you could think about Xeno being under you? Yes. Yes, you did indeed. Not only Xeno but Stanley too, but him being behind. No matter where you were, you would at least get one image (more like a thousand).

That day made the thoughts about a threesome even more apparent. The only is… How would it start, or even end? 

Then you started switching Xeno and Stan’s roles that you had made up in your head, totally confusing you, now.

“Burning question?” you started. “Shoot,” Stanley said, eyes glued to another gun game or something completely random.

Pencil on paper can be heard from Xeno, but he was barely listening, a.k.a., he was listening.

“So which one is the bottom and which is the top?” You're looking up at the ceiling, pencil stopped moving, fingers stopped tapping, the room falling to silence, realizing you just said it, not trying to split it, not anything– just said it. You open and close your mouth multiple times, coming up with nothing each time.

“You wanna find out?” Stanley smirked; phone discarded on my dresser, pencil and paper being abandoned too.

“P-pardon!” tripping over your words while backing up on your bed more, elbows propping your body up, legs hurrying to get yourself away from the edge, thinking it would help you. Nope, it didn’t do nothin’.

“You know that you guys are pretty fun to hang out with!” Your voice slowly cracked, sweat beading from your face.

It was getting hot. NO, it WAS hot.

“Doesn’t sound very convincing to me, huh, Stanley?” Xeno played, “As right as ever, Xeno. But we can convince her, can't we?” Stanley played back, liking where this was leading. “One hundred percent” confidence seeping off of Xeno.

“Huh..?”-- ”Wait, WAIT!”

Well, they convinced you, alright.

Now they’re glued to your side forever.

[d3s1st]

You can't push me away

Chifuyu Marsuno x f!reader || [Sfw♡]

Wc: 2.3k

Summary: At a young age reader was taught to push things away, to not let her emotions consume or control her. So, once she grew up and yearned to know what it's like to be loved and to understand. After running into Chifuyu on her way to read a book under a tree, she noticed that she would get all warm and giggle when she thought of him. But she didn't know how to comprehend these feelings, so she did what she knew best: she pushed him away. Until a week later, when he showed up at her door requesting her, only then did she talk to him, which led to them hanging out. Her father disapproved, so they got in an argument, leading y/n to push everything away again, until one night that changed her life forever.

Warning: Angst with a happy ending

Just tonight. Just this once. I’ll accept that I love you.

I grew up with pushing things aside, moving things out of the way that would hurt me. My parents were precise with not letting your emotions consume you. So, I learned to accept that I should not show emotion, to not show people that I can love and care for others. To not let them see my weakness, putting up a front that I don’t have anyone to love and look for in an overcrowded room.

My parents wanted complete obedience from me, not fighting back at whatever they were spouting at that time. At thirteen, I realized that my life was, in fact, not normal, far from it. 

I was still young but yet I couldn’t comprehend what love was like, what it should be.

So, I started to read cheesy romance novels, wishing that I were the main character, falling deeply in love with a caring boyfriend. My parents weren’t that happy that I was reading things other than non-fiction, but I kept going, caring less about what they thought.

That was only the start of my rebellion.

“Chifuyu~” I cued softly from behind him; he jumped a little, not expecting me to appear behind him.

He and I have been friends for quite a while now. We met in elementary, but didn’t really get to know each other until we were at the start of middle school.

“Oh, Hi, y/n. Didn’t really think you were going to be out today,” he said, giving me a smile. I returned it. “Yeah, same, but I convinced my parents to let me out,” I replied with a small laugh. “So where are you heading to?” I asked, now coming up to stand beside him. “Just running to the store for something,” he answered, “Without Baji?” I thought out loud, he gave me a chuckle, “Yeah, without him. He had other things he was doing, so I let him be,” he said, starting to walk again. “So, what are you doing out?” he questioned, “I was going to sit under a tree and read this new book I got,” I glee, remembering the reason why I begged my parents to let me outside.

“Why outside, you could have just read it inside, you know?” he buzzed, “True, but it’s a nice day out and I’d like to take advantage of it.” I smiled. “Touché,” he chuckled.

“Do you want me to accompany you?” I asked, not minding being in his presence more. Looking over at him, waiting for his answer, “You don’t have to, I wouldn’t want to take away your reading time,” he replied after giving it a second to ponder. “Mmm, I guess it would take away from my reading time” — “But that taken away time would be well spent since I'll be with you,” I added, shrugging my shoulders. “I made up my mind. I’ll go read my book. Tooles Chifuyu, talk to you later.” I gave him a goodbye as I picked up my pace, now being ahead of him, and waved my hand before I turned the corner, going my own way, leaving him to analyze my words.

“But that taken away time would be well spent since I’ll be with you.”

Some time has passed; I've been into my studies. Talking to Chifuyu less and less, not wanting to accept that I might have a crush on him. It was only last week that I was fine, but once the weekend hit, my brain was swept away by the thought of him being my boyfriend. Delusional, I know, but he’s just so nice to me.

Right now, I am trying to draw out that thought by putting all the energy into my studies, like I have been for the past three days. 

I was pulled from my thoughts on what this answer could be from whatever homework I was doing right now, by the doorbell, before I could get up and answer it. It sounds like someone already did it for me. Getting up from my chair and walking to my door to leave my room, to go to the top of the stairs to hear who is here.

“Uh, hi, Mr. L/n, is y/n here?” A similar voice questioned, but I realized that it was just Chifuyu. “She is here, are you her classmate or something?” my father's gruff voice asked. “I am, but I’m also her friend,” Chifuyu answered. I sucked in a hard breath, knowing that my father isn’t keen on having friends, but more so that it should only be an alliance. Keeping them close but far enough not to make something more out of it.

My father huffed before calling my name, letting me know that someone was here for me. I sighed, shuffling my feet down the stairs, making way to the front door as my father stared at me like I had just burned the world.

I rolled my eyes and then greeted Chifuyu. Stepping out of the house, making sure to close the door behind me.

“Wassup Chifuyu,” I said, turning my attention from the door to him, “Nothing really, just the same old.” he smiled at me, I returned it with my own. “So, is there any particular reason why you came to get me?” I inquired, moving from my front door to walk down the path that connected from the sidewalk to the entrance. "Yeah, there is,” he said, following me, but soon took the spot that was right next to me. “We haven’t been hanging out much, and I wanted to know if I did something wrong, if so, what can I do to make it up to you?” he added.

“You didn’t do anything Chifuyu, I’ve just been really engrossed in my studies,” I assured him. “Understandable,” he nodded, with a sigh of relief, knowing it wasn’t he who did something wrong.

After that short conversation, I spent the rest of that day hanging out with him, and somehow, Baji also made an appearance. It wasn’t until the sun had gone that I made it home, with a smile bigger than it had been for the past week.

Sighing as I finally shut the door, I took off my shoes from my aching feet. I didn’t have time to soak in the relaxation of being home for long. A cast of a shadow was now covering me; I didn’t have to look to tell who it was coming from.

With a silent groan I cocked my head up to face my father. “Sir?” I started, “And where have you been?” he demanded. “Out with friends,” I replied, already dissociating from the conversation that was coming ahead. “You know what we say about having or even calling people friends,” he grumbled, but still kept an assertive tone to it. 

I mocked his words, walking around him to go to the kitchen for food since it is late and I haven’t eaten since the time I left. “Why can’t I have ‘friends’, does it insult you?” I shot at him, “You know why, young lady.” — “And no, it doesn't insult me,” he scrunched his face at me. “They take up too much time, the time you need to use for studying, it’s already bad enough that you are reading your dumb novels,” he explains, moving his hand to pinch in between his brows.

“They’re not dumb, they’re entertaini-” “And they’re taking up time,” my father cutting me off, “Are you dense?” — “Look at me father, really look at me, not just a glance of disapproval or rage” I snapped, “Don’t you see that I’m unhappy with this family, you teach me how not to love and care for others, I can barely understand it!” my voice rises “DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME, YOUNG LADY” my father snapping himself. “I’m teaching you servile!” his voice quieting down but still raised, “And how to not let things control you” he added, I scoffed “Well you're doing a shit job at it” I walked away after saying that, forgetting a snack to, “LANGUAGE” my father shouted, but it was muffled from me already being a good distance from him.

Minus the end of it, it was a good day, and I hoped it would go back to the way it was from last week.

But no. It didn't, of course it didn’t.

A week has passed, and I locked myself in my room, not wanting to see the day, and especially not Chifuyu. I don't blame him for what happened between my father and me. It only made me realize more that I do, in fact, have feelings towards him. But having to accept that is a hard pill for me. 

It’s still a new feeling for me, so I pushed everyone I knew away.

The reason?

To figure it out on my own.

I only ever left my room for school and food. I hoped that after a week of this, it would go back, but it didn’t.

A month has finally passed, and I’m still huddled up in my room. Not speaking to anyone, well, except my teachers if I needed to.

The days mushed together, having me forget what day it was from time to time. And today was no exception. Just the same as the others. Me lying in bed, staring out the window, pondering stuff and nothing at all.

I was lucky to watch the sunset because by the time it set, I would have still been asleep and most likely was not going to wake up anytime soon.

Sighing as I rolled over in my bed, I had finished watching the sunset. I closed my eyes, not having anything else to do, that was until my eyes shot open from a tap on my window, then there was another one.

Quickly sat up to look at my clock. It surprised me that it was already twelve, I only thought that I had rested my eyes. Another tap broke me from my mind, glancing over, I saw what the tapping was, it was a pebble that was being thrown.

Taking a breath, I left my bed, making my way to my window and looking out to see.

Chifuyu?

My eyes widened with shock that Chifuyu was the one throwing the pebbles, shocked to even see him here. Before I would open my window to ask, he made a hand motion to come out.

I was frozen in my spot, not moving and not breathing, as it had gotten stuck in my throat. Everything is hitting me like a bus, semi-bringing me back to the present.

Without thinking, I dashed around my room changing into something other than sweatpants that had probably not been washed in a week. I kept the same hoodie on, though. Grabbing my phone and whatever else I needed, I opened my door quietly, so I wouldn't wake my parents, and made my way to the front door and left.

Making it to the sidewalk was when I was finally face to face with Chifuyu. The guilt was bubbling inside of me, the regret of not trying to communicate with him. My eyes welled with tears, tears that were about to spill.

“Hi, y/n” was all he said, nothing more, nothing less, but yet he had that stupid smile that I liked so much. But how could he smile when I pushed him away for over a month?

“How can you not be upset with me, I’ve basically ghosted you for over a month” my voice wobbled with each word, “Because you're in front of me right now, shit even talking to me right now brings me a smile” he spoke.

With a broken breath and a couple of blinks to keep the tears down, I started to walk away, knowing a place to sit and chat. Looking back, I realized that he was not following me. “Are you coming?” I asked, “Right, yeah,” he said, jogging to be able to walk right next to me.

Making it to the spot we both know well, because it was where we always had deep conversations, it became my personal favorite.

“Do I get an explanation?” chifuyu questioned right away when we sat down, “Of course, you deserve one” I sighed, “I got into a fight with my father the day you came to my house, and it made me realize things that I didn’t want to realize” I added, bring my knees up to tuck under my chin, “But that shouldn’t give you a reason to push me away” he explained. He was right, it gave me no reason to push him away, but at that time, it was the right thing for me.

“What did you realize anyway?” he said, moving on to the next thing, “That I have feelings that I tried so hard not to think about,” I replied softly, hoping that he didn’t hear me. “You could have talked to me about it, I’m here for you,” he reassured, “Why would you want to?” I questioned, wanting so desperately to know why someone would care for me. “It’s going to sound cliché, but you're unlike others. Sure, on the outside, you look like any other person. Still, yet you're so different on the inside it amazes me to a different level” he took a breath before continuing “I like that about you so much, it made me understand that I just don’t want to be friends anymore, I want to be more than” he said, almost losing me on how fast he was talking. “Wha- What are you going on about?” I stumbled over my word; I sat up straight, whipping my head towards him.

Chifuyu turned his head, finally making eye contact with me since we got to our spot, “What I’m saying is that I like you, y/n, alot,” he confessed, his face dusted with blush. I didn’t speak, I just looked forward, returning to the position I was in before.

“Just tonight. Just this once. I’ll accept that I love you.” I smiled, looking at the stars.

[d3s1st]

⸝⸝⋆｡⋆ꈔ Randoms ·˚⌇

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆One shots:

↟ It's better with two || Stanley x f!reader x Dr.Xeno || explicit

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Sfw:

↟ You can't push me away || Chifuyu Marsuno x f!reader

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Headcannons:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Nsfw:

[d3s1st]

Yamato Tenzo

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆One shots:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Sfw:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Headcanons:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Angst:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Nsfw:

[d3s1st]

Kakashi Hatake

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆One shot:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Sfw:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Headcanons:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Agnst:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Nsfw:

[d3s1st]

Itachi Uchiha

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆One shots:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ Sfw:

↟ Coming soon|| You stayed? I can’t live without you - [Sfw] Itachi x f!reader

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ Headcanons:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Agnst:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ Nsfw:

[d3s1st]

Naruto Uzamaki

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆One shots:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Sfw:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Headcanons:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Angst:

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆Nsfw:

[d3s1st]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚Naruto Shippuden°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Naruto Uzamaki

Itachi Uchiha

Kakashi Hatake

Tanzo Yamato

(More characters will be added)

[d3s1st]

Masterlistᝰ.ᐟ

Naruto Shippuden

𓇢𓆸

Creepypastas

𓇢𓆸

Hellsing

𓇢𓆸

Assassination Classroom

𓇢𓆸

Howls Moving Castle

𓇢𓆸

Randoms

[d3s1st]

Things to consider before following or interacting with my page!

↟ I am still considered a minor (16)

↟ ANYONE is welcome to my page

↟ I do write smut and explicit oneshots or fanfics, so if that makes you uncomfortable that a minor is writing that, then please block or scroll from my page!

↟ I am left leaning

↟ I'm not a religious person

Navigating requests!

જ⁀➴

⋆｡˚ M!list About me

[d3s1st]

About Meᝰ.ᐟ

“My unhappiness stemmed entirely from my own vices, and I had no way of fighting anybody”

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

✧ heya! I’m nat or whisperz whichever one is fine.

✧ I’m 16 years old, born in October making me a Libra, yay!!

✧ I’m on here for funzz(っ- ‸ - ς)

✧ I’m still a newbie, I only have had this app for abt a year now

✧ I’m an infp-T

✧ as you can tell I love the color red lolz

✧ most the time I’m sleeping or reading

✧ I’m an night girly so I pull a lot of all nighters

✧ I do tarot but very rarely, I do want to get into it more

Fav Bands / Musiciansᝰ.ᐟ

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

╰┈➤ Sleep Token

╰┈➤ Collin Selman

╰┈➤ SOFIA ISELLA

╰┈➤ PARTYNEXTDOOR

That’s all for now, tootles!

(๑'ᵕ'๑)⸝*