Skinny.thinspo

Don’t report just block This is my safe space 🖤 Feel free to dm me ✨

[daanmy]

So it’s been 8 months since I last posted and I started looking through my old posts and it’s crazy to realize how much can change in such a short amount of time , for so long I thought I was broken that it was impossible for me to feel happy and love myself . I genuinely believed there was something wrong with my brain and that was why I could never be happy . I had no hope for life and saw no future , for years I always felt that was my last one and there was no way I’d make it to the next , somehow I did every time . I tried and tried over and over again to end it myself but for some reason I always failed now I like to believe it was someone or something looking after me trying to get me to the point I’m currently in where I can confidently say I finally feel happy .

It took a long time some effort and a lot of pain and suffering but I think all that thought me so much and now that for some time now I have finally been happy I found that it was harder for things to bring me down because I’ve already went through so much and came out of it that I just feel so confident that things DO GET BETTER . I used to think it was stupid and cliche when people said that until I experienced it , rn I’m honestly crying because I’m realizing how far I’ve come and how much I have healed and I’m proud of myself .

Sometimes after basically living all my life with Ed’s and some other bad habits I find myself thinking about relapsing into them but since I’ve learnt to be more compassionate to myself and to love and appreciate myself no matter what I’ve been able to keep myself on track and even though I might slip up sometimes or eat unhealthily I’m not that harsh on myself and I just remind myself why it’s okay to make mistakes because I’m human and it’s also okay for me to nourish my body .

I have no way of explaining how crazy this year has been and how magically things started falling into place and so much good things came into my life I feel nostalgic thinking about how bad I felt and how I dealt with all that alone and it makes me cry happy tears knowing that I finally feel good , I can see a future for myself and have hope and faith that good things do happen .

I wish little me got to feel like this but I know I’m now feeling it for the both of us and I’m grateful because I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for her being so strong and for putting in the work . I don’t who’s gonna read this but I hope it reaches the right people that might need to realize that there is hope and when you least expect it life can do a 180 and you’ll realize how much you deserve to be happy and that there are things that can help you be at peace 🤍

[daanmy]

I need tips please to fade quickly sh scars they’re really dark red some already getting white they’re from months ago I’ve been clean for like 2 months and a half but I have some blood tests coming up and I really want to fade them as much as I can if anyone has any tips I could really use them pleaseee

[daanmy]

Today the person if least want to know and get forties aka my brother fucking found me about to jumó off a 5th floor like srsly? None of my other attempts anyone found me I woke up alone confused so many hours later and when I finally find one that might work my brother finds me like FUCK I had to pretend and was like o I was just watching the horizon and he was like no be real what are you doing and I was like I just told you so to bring him peace of mind We left and when I’m on my room I start getting texts from my dad whom has never cared and he’s like you brother is concerned because he says he saw you blah blah

Now I’m here like shit literally feel so guilty because after that I arrived to my room to make a you know a rope in a certain way for a certain purpose as I was about to use it he says that like wtfffff universe stop it

[daanmy]

I’ve been skipping school for a week and we’re on midterms and here’s the thing, all my friends now I’m really hard on myself if I don’t get a perfect score or at least what I would consider good in something that is harder and stuff and my parents also always demand for no grades lower than B+ / 9 but they are not that “mean “ if I get like a little under that .

Anyways so this week I was absent from all classes and I missed all my exams and what’s so funny to me is I also ghosted everyone yet it wasn’t until rn that some of them wanted like help in their hw or to study and stuff that they texted me and the 4 friends that texted me to check up on me they only just noticed my absence today at almost the last class that it was exam time 💀

And also I haven’t come out of my room in two weeks and my mom hasn’t noticed like if I didn’t hear her being loud all the time I would be the one to think she’s dead or smth.

so yeah I now know I could disappear and people wouldn’t notice either for either two weeks (because the week before this one were holidays so no classes for them to notice and then this week ) but I did log in on Monday to three classes so maybe they saw I was like okay that day so it could be just disappear for 4 days anyways that was cool knowing it wouldn’t affect them that much and I’m gonna keep pushing for longer next time until they don’t worry about me at all so I can finally u know I’m peace knowing I didn’t leave them hurting or smth so yeah .

Oh and wish me luck I’m about to go outside and ask my mom to call the school and tell them I was sick or smth so I can retake ? Or more like take my exams because I don’t wanna fail lol

I’m pretty sure she might say no so I might need a plan b if anyone bothers to read this please give me ideas on how to get her to say yes because she’s the type of what’s mental health haven’t heard of her ,oh you tried to kill yourself all those times and even though no one found out you probably did it for attention and finally she’s the “your only responsibility is school you lazy *!?*$:!?**!!!*”

[daanmy]

My mom found out and she screamed at me lol basically I’m locked out for being lazy and stuff and not allowed to come back until I find a job

Honey how am I supposed to find a job while wearing a sweatshirt that I haven’t come out of in two weeks a pair of broken pijama pants and two dollars on my pocket like not even a hotel room to shower sweetie jeez thanks for the support 🙄

[daanmy]

I’ve been skipping school for a week and we’re on midterms and here’s the thing, all my friends now I’m really hard on myself if I don’t get a perfect score or at least what I would consider good in something that is harder and stuff and my parents also always demand for no grades lower than B+ / 9 but they are not that “mean “ if I get like a little under that .

Anyways so this week I was absent from all classes and I missed all my exams and what’s so funny to me is I also ghosted everyone yet it wasn’t until rn that some of them wanted like help in their hw or to study and stuff that they texted me and the 4 friends that texted me to check up on me they only just noticed my absence today at almost the last class that it was exam time 💀

And also I haven’t come out of my room in two weeks and my mom hasn’t noticed like if I didn’t hear her being loud all the time I would be the one to think she’s dead or smth.

so yeah I now know I could disappear and people wouldn’t notice either for either two weeks (because the week before this one were holidays so no classes for them to notice and then this week ) but I did log in on Monday to three classes so maybe they saw I was like okay that day so it could be just disappear for 4 days anyways that was cool knowing it wouldn’t affect them that much and I’m gonna keep pushing for longer next time until they don’t worry about me at all so I can finally u know I’m peace knowing I didn’t leave them hurting or smth so yeah .

Oh and wish me luck I’m about to go outside and ask my mom to call the school and tell them I was sick or smth so I can retake ? Or more like take my exams because I don’t wanna fail lol

I’m pretty sure she might say no so I might need a plan b if anyone bothers to read this please give me ideas on how to get her to say yes because she’s the type of what’s mental health haven’t heard of her ,oh you tried to kill yourself all those times and even though no one found out you probably did it for attention and finally she’s the “your only responsibility is school you lazy *!?*$:!?**!!!*”

[daanmy]

I can’t wait to be skinny and be able to pull off this outfits omg I’m in love 🖤

[daanmy]

Like I’m obsessed with this style and just imagining myself skinny and dressed like this motivates me so so much

[daanmy]

Inspiration 🖤

[daanmy]

I srsly can’t wait to dress like this

[daanmy]

Mood because I’m not as skinny as her YET

[daanmy]

Okay but the belly finally reached its my legs that are refusing to lose the fat 🤨 so still mood

[daanmy]

I need tips to lose 15 kg in like 40 days I know it’s possible because I did it before and even faster but I’ve been on plateau for a month and I’m annoyed because I thought I could hit my ugw by my birthday by maybe slowly loading so I didn’t get like the weight back or Smth like every fucking time I lost too fast but this plateau messed up my plan so yeah

[daanmy]

Somehow a miracle happened I passed the test I’m not sure how but I did and I’m like beyond grateful to whoever made the mistake or on purpose wrote negative I love you sm whomever you r

[daanmy]

I thought I got away with them barcodes noooo my mom was like those r cuts and I was like no they’re not your wrong trying to come up with an excuse but basically she’s uncomfortable enough with the thought of being a bad mother she just pretended they don’t exist 😎

[daanmy]

You know what I hate ? Because I’m on a “healthy weight “ everyone is like you’re fine you are so successful for loosing so much weight so fast wow I admire you and I’m like yeah if only you knew how I did it.

And the thing is I’m glad they think that I’m okay so they can’t stop me , but being dizzy and lightheaded all the time, my hair I just ran my hands through it and so much of it came off , I look like a ghost most of the time but everyone is like embrace your white and pale skin the thing is my skin isn’t meant to be pale and white like I’m mixed I have pictures of me when I was younger and no one believes it’s me cause “that’s clearly a mixed kid “ or “they have waaay darker skin that could possibly have even if you get tan “ Because I “am white “ like no im not and that is me and the only ones who notice this is some family members when they are like “omg you used to (naturally ) tan so much so easily and so fast when you were younger and now you are so white you should go to the beach “

And I’m like I literally went last month it’s just my body isn’t doing what it’s meant to and what makes me even more upset is like I know all this is because of my Ed’s but I can’t stop like I want to I really do but I want to keep on losing weight and be so skinny everyone is afraid of hugging me because I might break.

I keep on telling myself you’re not sick you’re fine you’re not even skinny but the rational part of me tells me you’re passing out all the time , your hair loss is too much your heart beat isn’t normal and you feel sick and have to lay down after the minimum physical effort you make you need help and I wish people would notice or my mum just enough to get me vitamins or something because I don’t want to get caught and stopped but I really want to keep my hair you know ?

But I can’t ask her directly for vitamins because she’ll suspect my anemia is back and then I’ll get grounded everything is just so frustrating not having a job to be able to buy myself my own vitamins and what’s even more frustrating is there never is any nutritious food in the house is all just processed carbs and meat ( I don’t eat meat at all) so basically my diet is no more than 500 calories a day on purely carbs and if I’m lucky there’s sometimes popsicles.

Idk I guess I just came here to vent and ask for tips for my hair loss lol I really want to keep my hair .

[daanmy]

I just got suspended from school because I haven’t turned in a lot of stuff and like I’m really trying my brain just can’t focus or thinks and I’m tired all the time and it’s always been like that but before I like really did my best and pushed myself but now is like I don’t even know why I should bother like I find it so stupid maybe this is a very stereotypical “rebel “ idealist teenager or Smth but srsly the system just doesn’t make any sense to me I’m not understanding or learning anything anyways so why bother doing Smth just for grades if at the end of the day I don’t even know what I did I’ve just kinda been finessing school and haven’t learnt anything is this just me ? Or please tell me someone relates because I know I CANT be the only one

[yizarasheed-deactivated20211024]

Heal before having children so your children don't have to heal from having you as a parent.

Unknown.

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[daanmy]

goals

[daanmy]

Someone called me tiny and my heart went like AAAAaaa 🥺 idk I felt appreciated or Smth idk I’m so lonely but i felt so weird getting called like Smth sweet or talked to nicely ? Idk guess being surrounded by toxic people or just completely being alone all the time things like that just make me feel like crying idk