Oh, my god, your dog is so cute!
I know, right? Such a sweetie. Say hi, girl!
Aww, isn't she precious? Where did you get her?
Funny story, actually. Turns out she had spent a lot of time listening to that file I put out a while back, you know the one, uhhhh... Adopt-A-Puppy. That was it.
Oh, yeah, I remember really liking that one.
Well, apparently she had it on repeat for days. I checked her phone history when she showed up at my house. I'm talking 24-7 puppification, it was nuts.
Oh my god... And it turned her into this?
Well, almost. When she got to my doorstep, she was still human enough to ask me to adopt her before she broke completely. But she hasn't said a word since then. Hasn't stood up, hasn't done her business inside, hasn't used her hands... and now she's just a stupid, happy, horny lil doggy, aren't you, honey?
My idea. Whenever she's getting a little too playful, I can just give them a tug and her mind blanks right out. Usually I tell her to go hump a pillow or play out in the backyard or something. It's nice to have a fuckpet like her around, but a guy's still gotta have some time to work, y'know?
Smart, smart... does she know any tricks?
Ohhhhh, buddy, you have no idea.