porn makes it all go away. porn lobotomized my brain. porn will never abandon me. porn is the best high i've ever felt. porn is my salvation.
every time i edge i forget more details about my life. i've ignored important phone calls or appointments in favor of staying home, locked up in my dark apartment with all my windows shut, watching all my screens play never ending PORN.
oink oink oink, thaaaat's it, melt all those thoughts away. rot your brain away until it's nothing but sex addicted sludge. god, i'm a pig. i'm a failure. i'm a disgusting masochist nympho.
all i care about, all i think about, is porn. delicious, violent, disgusting porn. my mind has been completely taken over by lust.
and i love to drag others down with me. i wanna push further. ruin myself to the point i become a fucking vegetable. i wanna be so aroused i'm foaming at the mouth, only to be denied for eternity.
as long as i rub this puffy, swollen clit, everything is good. i'm happy, my brain is quiet, my eyes roll back and i'm in paradise.
when my husband is present, i'm his plastic fleshlight, for him to dump his load in so many times, he starts shooting blanks. whether it be my womb, my delicious meaty gaping asshole, or my tight wet meaty throat. i take it all in pure ecstasy.
when he's not around, i make sure all of my senses are involved with nothing but porn.
you don't understand. i'm borderline, and a psychiatric unit nightmare. when i say i want to ANNIHILATE my brain in favor of porn, i mean it LITERALLY.
every day i'm farther and farther away from the light. from salvation. and i'm so fucking euphoric over how even those close to me are starting to figure out what it is that i do all day, behind their backs.
delicious, endless, depraved, violent masturbation. oink oink oink oink. i'd do bumps of coke to keep me going longer. to keep me awake longer. i need to edge again, and again, and again.
i need to sob and cry, begging for it to stop, but i can't stop my compulsive rotten sex addiction.
it feels way too good. his cock down my throat while i watch spirals telling me to give up my soul to porn, feels so good i cry in gratitude.
i'm a BPD walking nympho nightmare. i'm a junkie who dropped out of high school, and i was gonna join the porn and stripper industry.
i worship my husband like my messiah because i adore him more than anything in the whole wide world. and he adores me too.
and y'know what makes everything feel good again, every time? sex.
please fry every last bit of a self i ever had. please let porn take everything from me but my husband.
deprive me of all of my senses, only keeping a vibrator to my clit at max power, force my eyes open only to watch porn, only to hear all those wet, squelchy sounds, and hook my nose up like a pig, while i oink oink oink.
"i want you to destroy yourself, lily. destroy whatever is left." my husband told me while destroying my cervix, and i almost climaxed right then and there.
"just like that, baby. mush all those thoughts together and let them melt away. trust me, i know how good it feels." he was a porn addict too in the past, and that's so fucking arousing.
my husband would pump, pump, pump nonstop, ignoring life passing him by. all it took was one tiny trigger, and nghhhhhh, he'd have to go home and shlick, shlick, shlick, shlick for six hours.
he'd shoot load after load after load all over his computer screen. even after shooting blanks, he kept going, hyperventilating. eventually with hard work and therapy, he was able to overcome his addiction. never... fully however. and of course, there's a devil inside me that loves to drag him down to hell with me. or at least, try to.
i'd never actually encourage him to do anything hurtful to himself, not like i do to myself, but there are certain days where i keep him in bed, and suck his fat cock while he lazily thrusts down my throat, while watching porn.
i can see his pupils dilate, as he tries to fight back, as he wants to say "enough", but he can't. i'm sucking him way too fucking good and his eyes are rolling back while he's high off all the wet sounds coming from the screen. the woman's screams, the plap plap plap of a man's balls hitting her clit from behind, the notion of absolute pleasure...
my tongue piercing swirling all over the head of his cock is driving him mad. he's bucking his hips and fucking my throat, drooling at the meat squeezing and pumping his cock.
"i had... somewhere to... be..." his head is leaning back and his spine is starting to arch inwards.
"too bad. today, you belong to porn... and to me." and he's spurting his white, creamy, delicious gunk all over my face and tongue.
got him. now he'll be flooded with happy chemicals, and tempting him will be all the easier, and easier, and easier.
again, and again, and again, and again.
he does call me a succubus after all.
i live for porn, and for his fat XL cock. every time he feeds me his sperm, my happiness is at its fullest. i can't explain it. i feel... perfect.