HEY, TAKE ME AWAY.

DAGNY JUNIPER MILORI i'm literally just pretending to be a princess in training. i'm so bad at it. that's why i'm hiding in walt until i'm 90 years old.

[dagnyjuniper]

how are things with fab?

Bad. I hate that guy. Hate being roommates with him. Hate it! I’m sure he’d say the same thing. @itzfabi 

[dagnyjuniper]

itzfabi‌:

Well, yeah, but…it’s not like he and I stayed great friends while you two were dating. I kinda hated his guts for a little bit. I will gladly get drunk and dance to Kate Bush with you. I’ll even make a dessert of your choice. What’ll it be, cookies? Cake? Pie? I’m at your disposal. 

That’s understandable. We were annoying. Good, because Wuthering Heights is gonna be on non-stop for the next 72 hours straight and so is my desire to have a glass constantly filled with a cocktail. It’s like a new beginning for ole Dag. Cookies would be flitterific! I need so many sweets in my mouth. I’m kinda glad it’s back to the two of us, though, if I’m being honest. 

[dagnyjuniper]

deliajubilee‌:

Oh especially not that one, It makes you sound like a blood clot. See! This is why I need a better position in your life other than “Scheming little sister” I’m clearly the only one who does the real thinking around here. Because what if you don’t? And then you’ll have to do all kinds of annoying council things with him including probably having to do stuff One on One during the spring! And no offense, but new purple haired Dagny still probably wouldn’t be able to make it bad for him.

Why did you get the cute and pretty names? I sound like I’m about to stomp on everyone all the time. You’d have a better position if you weren’t literally a “scheming little sister”! You’re always trying to get me to give up the throne! She wouldn’t, you’re right. But isn’t it weak to give up your title for a boy? Isn’t that like, the opposite of the feminist message?

[dagnyjuniper]

itzfabi‌:

That’s what happened?! Wow, I just thought he like…I dunno, went on a really long jog or something. And he didn’t even say goodbye? To either of us? What a dick. He was my friend, too, did he forget about that? I mean…obviously this is way more of a you thing, sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it less soul-crushing for you?

Yep. I only found out through asking around. Apparently Bonnie at least had the decency to let people know. I guess you forget about everything when it comes to “true love”. No, you can have as much anger and grief about it as I do. Friendship can be equally as strong as a relationship. But...maybe neither your friendship or my relationship was as strong as we thought. Honestly, all I want to do is exercise my legal right to get drunk and dance to Kate Bush. You’re welcome to join if you want. 

[dagnyjuniper]

deliajubilee‌:

Is it really that bad if he deserves it? But fine, “Bloody Dagny” doesn’t have any kind of ring to it anyway. As it should be, especially he inherit’s his dad’s title and then you’d be stuck working with him forever and ever and always get suck seeing him with the random girl he left you for.

You’re right, it doesn’t. Neither does Bloody Clodagh so it’s definitely out of the question. Oh my God, I didn’t even think about that. That’s even worse. Maybe I’ll get over it sometime in the next twenty years? Possibly? 

[dagnyjuniper]

deliajubilee‌:

Wow that sicks, Dagny. I know people that probably know people that can have him killed, if you want. (And by “I know people”, I mean Ofelia. So she could really get things done.) But if you don’t want him murdered, you could always let me be the heir so then he’d never see you again and you wouldn’t have to see him either! Yay!

No, he doesn’t deserve to be murdered. Like, he does for not at least sending me a “Hey, I’m running away” text, but also murder is bad? Trust me, that was my immediate first thought. I literally can’t even say that I haven’t completely ruled it out yet. 

[dagnyjuniper]

Your boyfriend ever run away in the middle of the night with a girl you’ve literally never heard him talk about before and leave you no explanation and answer none of your texts or calls, only to find out he’s gone back to Pixie Hollow forever with said girl who’s now also going to be there forever so you know the next time you go back you’re going to have to hide, but you can’t really hide because you’re a princess and heir to the throne so you’re going to have to see him or at the very least he’s going to see you because it’s unavoidable and to deal with this whole crisis you dyed your hair and decided to adopt a whole new personality? No? Just me? Yeah, thought so. 

[ivyflutterdust]

For those of you who are unaware, I’ve decided to  boycott any dances and/or parties that involve non-biodegradable decorations. I’ve had to help far too many sick animals who have ingested these things and I refuse to participate in anything that isn’t environmentally friendly. I suggest you do the same, too!

[dagnyjuniper]

Hey, that’s a great idea! Maybe we can present a list of alternatives to FG and make a campaign to have Walt completely make the switch! That way you won’t have to miss out on a lot of things. I know I definitely won’t be throwing any parties without reusable cups and straws! 

[dagnyjuniper]

TEXT || DAGERON

Oberon: I really despise it when I'm referred to as Dude, it's so pedestrian.

Oberon: I don't know? I stayed that the dance pretty much the entire time. What happened to YOU?

Dagny: Okay, MAN. SWEETHEART. LOVER.

Dagny: I went to the bathroom and heard a lil commotion then went for snacks and then couldn't find you again? And, to be fair, I didn't realize until I was home that you were not there, so that was on me and I'm sorry about that. Still, some Valentine's Day, right?

[dagnyjuniper]

TEXT || DAGERON

Dagny: Dude, what happened to you last night?

Dagny: We split up for like two seconds and then it was like POOF!

[daisyshiverdew]

Okay, how am I supposed to practice for Battle of the Bands exactly two inches tall? I mean…I could just jump on my xylophone keys like that piano scene from Big, but like….How am I supposed to kazoo at the same time??? I’m smaller than the kazoo! 

[dagnyjuniper]

I am having the same problem but with my keyboard, not a xylophone. How am I supposed to tend to my farm when it takes all my effort just to move from key to key!? Hopefully Fairy Godmother will take care of this soon, though. I’m just thankful Oberon is going through it with me so we can be small together. 

[dagnyjuniper]

sorry i wasn't such a great roommate, but i thoroughly enjoyed living with you, so while we're not really friends (as i'm not at all easy to get along with), i wish you the happiest of new years.

SEND ME ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS BEFORE 2019 IS OVER.

[dagnyjuniper]

I'm trying to be happy for you. Really, really trying. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm being distant for that reason.

SEND ME ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS BEFORE 2019 IS OVER.

[dagnyjuniper]

TEXT || DAGJ

Delia J: No, it's not MY fault! Blame your parents from banning me from the love of my life!

Dagny: They’re your parents too! You can’t just push them off on me when you’re mad at them! I hate being the center of attention and if you’re not there they WILL start asking me a million questions.

[dagnyjuniper]

TEXT || DAGJ

Delia J: I'm not going home for break. I'm protesting.

Dagny: Can you stop protesting for one second? We haven't had a real family get together in so long.

[dagnyjuniper]

TEXT || DAGJ

Delia J: It was only half of one, but I guess so? But it's probably more like Lux just really being the world's most perfect boyfriend to the max. Lesser men could NEVER

Dagny: Subject change, but how long are you planning on staying in Pixie Hollow during winter break?

[dagnyjuniper]

TEXT || DAGJ

Dagny: Damn you're a good kisser

Dagny: You must be to have a boyfriend that would agree to keep your relationship a secret for like a year.