My Place To Shed Some Tears...

This is my journal that only receives entries when my partner is away from me. This is a frequent occurrence, anywhere from 3 weeks to a year at a time. Sometimes the military benefits absolutely do not outweigh the complications.

[dailyanon]

I miss him.

[dailyanon]

Our bed seems extra cold when he's gone. The anxiety moths that reside on my chest flutter more when he is away. My nails are too short and sleep is far away.

[dailyanon]

Thanks y'all

He's home, so hopefully we won't need to chat for a LONG time. Peace!!

[dailyanon]

349

This deployment has lasted 349 days. It's ends in 12 hours. No one can really understand unless they have been through one. I thought I knew, but I was wrong. I am more prepared for the next one, but lets hope we get more than a few months in between them...

[dailyanon]

98.01%

This deployment will be just a memory in a week. One week! I have so many feels right now...

[nyldushkaa]

[cutegirlonline-deactivated20181]

instant wish gratification

[loveyoutilltuesday]

two brains, one heart

[dailyanon]

The end may be further off then was planned. I almost lost it today when I found out. I’m still getting my brain/act/shit together. But in the end it will be ok. It HAS to be. Because otherwise, I don’t know what I would do. I’m so tired… Since we met in 2010, we have spent less than 300 days in the same place together. I want to add to that total, but odds look grim at the moment. So tired.

[dailyanon]

[explodingdog]

I’ll be home soon

(this is the one I drew a while ago.)

[dailyanon]

Missing him extra right now… We are so close to the finish line, but, alone in my bed, it still seems unreachable. Positive thoughts, keeping busy(not that that is ever an issue), and books will see me through. As always.

[dailyanon]

So tired of this deployment. I am emotionally exhausted. I cannot imagine what it is like for my fella(cough cough officially husband now). September needs to hurry it’s booty up cause I. am. just. done.

[dailyanon]

I find it hard to make a perfect cup of tea when I’m away from home, or not in the UK. Traveling around on Husband’s R&R, I had dozens of substandard cups. But today I realized my tea is only perfect when I can drink it next to him. So, I’m home, with my delicious tea, but it won’t taste right until he comes home to me.

[dailyanon]

If you're still breathing, it's not too late.

[dailyanon]

Ugh.

I am tired of being sad 75% of the year. I'm so ready to be done with this last deployment before we move to Japan, and (supposedly) will be safe for at least a year. I am trying to look forward to that, but all these deployments are weighing me down. Only 70(ish) more days before we can finally be together for more than 2 months. So bully for that!

[dailyanon]

One day down. I wish I could sleep and/or feel like eating. It's silly, really, because I know these (less than) three months are going to disappear quickly. But, for now, I feel like I did at the beginning of this deployment, not like we just had R&R. Tomorrow will be better. Remember. Tomorrow will be better.

[dailyanon]

I just dropped my husband off at the airport again. R&R is such a tease. I know from experience that I will be ok, that each day gets a little better. I have to remember that, because if I don't, I will end up back on the floor, crying myself into a frenzy. I think I will take a nap and wait to hear from him. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, letting him go, over and over. I'm pretty sure a piece of me gets hurt, and it takes a long time to get better.