Just The Facts

J. Jonah Jameson

[dailybuglebossman]

Welcome to the Daily Bugle!

Got something good? Dirt on vigilantes? On...

SPIDER MAN??

Let me hear it! Drop news in, set up an interview, and if you don't have any of that...

SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!!

[burningfudge]

Iron Man (2026) #6

[dailybuglebossman]

Very sure. Spider-Man is a good guy.

HE'S MANIPULATING YOU!!!

[dailybuglebossman]

Spider-Man got my bag back for me after I was mugged - all my stuff was still in there too. He’s a hero

Are you sure?

[dailybuglebossman]

I have information about Spider-Man

I'M LISTENING GODDAMIT!!

[scottsummers-xmen]

Guess who just made grilled cheese and tomato soup!

[dailybuglebossman]

BREAKING NEWS

[scottsummers-xmen]

… what did I ever do to deserve this

[friends-of-humanity]

Muties shouldn't be doing that!

[dailybuglebossman]

GET OUT OF HERE!!

[scottsummers-xmen]

Guess who just made grilled cheese and tomato soup!

[dailybuglebossman]

BREAKING NEWS

[dailybuglebossman]

What do you think of model and superhero Jonny storm?

I don't know whether to despise him or feel sorry for the kid.

[dailybuglebossman]

[the-amazing-peter-b]

WELL GEE THANKS TO A CERTAIN SOMEONE (Eh-hem @dailybuglebossman) IT SEEMS I’M OUT OF A JOB!

Can’t cash my checks, can’t go on TV, and now I can’t even save people without getting the blame.

Guess I’ll have to set my sights on different ventures…

[dailybuglebossman]

So you resort to stealing, huh? Menace!

[dailybuglebossman]

Jameson. Do you think it's weird that people talk so much about Spider-Man in different ways, almost as if... they're describing more than one person? Do you think there's multiple Spider-men out there?

*JJJ just stands up and looks out the window in his office, contemplating*

[dailybuglebossman]

*Celeste hurries into the office of her boss with another coffee*

Here’s the coffee you wanted, Mr Jameson. I made a post on social media and asked people to get in touch if they see anything media friendly.

I’ve got tabs open to keep an eye on what others are saying about Spider-Man as well, sir.

@celeste-daily-bugle

Good.

*JJJ grabs the coffee and sets it down next to the one that's already there, then pauses*

Why the hell'd you get me another coffee?

[celeste-daily-bugle]

Because you asked for one, sir. You said “bring me another coffee”, so I did.

[dailybuglebossman]

I don't think I said that. Whatever. We have more urgent things to focus on.

[dailybuglebossman]

*Celeste hurries into the office of her boss with another coffee*

Here’s the coffee you wanted, Mr Jameson. I made a post on social media and asked people to get in touch if they see anything media friendly.

I’ve got tabs open to keep an eye on what others are saying about Spider-Man as well, sir.

@celeste-daily-bugle

Good.

*JJJ grabs the coffee and sets it down next to the one that's already there, then pauses*

Why the hell'd you get me another coffee?

[dailybuglebossman]

Mr Jameson, there’s a person who’s going around claiming he’s Batman. You might get a message about it. I don’t think it’s harmful, just annoying.

I just thought I’d let you know.

Oh, and here’s your coffee.

@celeste-daily-bugle

Thanks, Cindy.

*He sets the coffee down hard and it splashes on papers scattered on his desk*

Spider-Man is on a rampage again.

[celeste-daily-bugle]

It’s Celeste.

Is there anything you need me to do?

[dailybuglebossman]

*He ignores her correction*

Do your social media thing, make sure everyone on chirper or whatever knows that Spider-Man is breaking into homes and that they can be next! Tell them to lock their windows! Hide your pets and your food! HE'S COMING! HE'S GONNA TEAR THIS DAMN CITY APART!! RUN, NEW YORK, RUN!!!

[celeste-daily-bugle]

You got it, Mr Jameson. I’ll make a post right away.

[dailybuglebossman]

AND GET ME A COFFEE!

[dailybuglebossman]

Mr Jameson, there’s a person who’s going around claiming he’s Batman. You might get a message about it. I don’t think it’s harmful, just annoying.

I just thought I’d let you know.

Oh, and here’s your coffee.

@celeste-daily-bugle

Thanks, Cindy.

*He sets the coffee down hard and it splashes on papers scattered on his desk*

Spider-Man is on a rampage again.

[celeste-daily-bugle]

It’s Celeste.

Is there anything you need me to do?

[dailybuglebossman]

*He ignores her correction*

Do your social media thing, make sure everyone on chirper or whatever knows that Spider-Man is breaking into homes and that they can be next! Tell them to lock their windows! Hide your pets and your food! HE'S COMING! HE'S GONNA TEAR THIS DAMN CITY APART!! RUN, NEW YORK, RUN!!!

[dailybuglebossman]

mr jameson sir i have inside information on spider-man 👀

I'm listening.

[dailybuglebossman]

WHERE'S MY GODDAMN INSIDE INFORMATION?!?!

[dailybuglebossman]

Mr Jameson, there’s a person who’s going around claiming he’s Batman. You might get a message about it. I don’t think it’s harmful, just annoying.

I just thought I’d let you know.

Oh, and here’s your coffee.

@celeste-daily-bugle

Thanks, Cindy.

*He sets the coffee down hard and it splashes on papers scattered on his desk*

Spider-Man is on a rampage again.