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This was seriously the best prank

#funny #the office #dwight schrute #jim halpert #prank

"You looking for dinner and a movie?'Cause you're not gonna find it in that box."

- Andy (to Angela)

#andy #angela #the office

Dwight Schrute:I'm Jim Halpert. Jim Halpert:Spot on. Dwight Schrute:Yuhh, little comment, mmmh.

#the office #dwight schrute #jim halpert

Jim Halpert:Question. What kind of bear is best? Dwight Schrute:That's a ridiculous question. Jim Halpert:False. Black bear. Dwight Schrute:That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought-- Jim Halpert:Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Dwight Schrute:Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?!

#jim halpert #the office #dwight schrute

Dwight Schrute: You know what, immitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places bobblehead on desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

Jim Halpert:Michael!

Dwight Schrute:Oh that's funny... Michael!

#the office #jim halpert #dwight schrute

Assistant to the Regional Manager

Dwight Schrute: Okay, you know what? This isn't working because uh, I'm not nervous in front of them, they're my subordinates.

Jim Halpert: Uh, no we're not.

Dwight Schrute: Ah, yes you are, I am assistant regional manger.

Jim Halpert: Which means absolutely nothing.

Dwight Schrute: Michael can you explain?

Michael Scott: Well, it's mostly made up.. so..

#dwight schrute #jim halpert #michael scott #the office

I don't have a lot experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.

Dwight Schrute

#dwight schrute #the office

The chimney's in decent shape. Not great. I found some termite damage in a crawl space, and some structual flaws in the foundation, so, all-in-all, it was a pretty fun cocktail party.

Dwight Schrute

#dwight schrute #the office

Actually, it's polite to arrive early, and smart. Only really good friends show up early. Ergo de facto, show up early, become a really good friend.

Michael Scott

#the office #michael scott

Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing.

Dwight Schrute

#the office #dwight schrute

A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher, like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us and he would tell us awesome jokes and he actually hooked up with one of the students. And then like 12 other kids came forward.. it was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.

Michael Scott

#michael scott #the office

I saw Wedding Crashers, accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theatre. After an hour I figured I was in the wrong theatre but I kept waiting. That's the thing about bear attacks, they come when you least expect it.

Dwight Schrute

#dwight schrute #the office

Campus. Brings back so many memories, that I would have made.

Michael Scott

#michael scott #the office

Allegiance

Dwight Schrute: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. Will you form an allegiance--

Creed: Sure.

Dwight Schrute: To use sudden violence--

Creed: Okay.

Dwight Schrute: Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?

Creed: What size?