Summary: What happens when your friends die, and you and your ex-boyfriend gain custody of the baby? (requested from: đŠ)
â. àšà§Ëâ
Bradley was watching the football screen on the flat TV. Meanwhile you sat on the other end of the three seater sofa reading. It was amusing that after all these years Bradley was still a big fan of the New York Jets. He always dreamed of having a flat screen TV, and now here he has it. Instead of reading your book, you were staring at Bradley longingly.
Under no circumstances have you ever thought that you and he would ever meet again. But after your best friend Malia and her husband died in an unexpected car crash, it left their 3 month baby girl without parents. To your surprise under Malia and Caleb's will, you and Bradley Bradshaw were written out as the God parents.
They must have written it before you and Bradley had broken up. It was already terrible seeing your ex boyfriend again after your friends died, but even more horrible when the estate lawyer revealed that both of you would hold custody over small Giovanna. Not to mention the grief of losing your college best friend so sudden and quickly.Â
It wasn't ever in your plan to have kids this soon in your life. But you had to do it for both your friends. You had given up your personal space, and lived at Bradley house for the babygirls sake. Bradley had turned down promotions, you gave up your freedom to travel, Bradley would have to cancel out on his friends multiple times for the baby and both of you sacrificed your sleep as well. But the one thing Bradley could not let go of was his grudge on you for cheating on him.
You understood where he was coming from, you would probably feel the same if you were in his shoes. But it made it a bit awkward and uncomfortable to live with him at times. All you could do was accept accountability for your stupid actions, and move on. If you could go back in time to redo the past you would one hundred percent take back your actions of going home with a different person that wasn't Bradley.
As you stared at him over the top of your book with your legs stretched out you couldn't resist and thinking how different things could have been. Bradley had grown up after 2 years, he bulked up and grew muscle. His once fair skin is now a beautiful caramel color. The shaggy curls that fell on his forehead were turned into a sharp regulation cut. His honey burnt eyes looked tired after all the baby trouble, but he still looked good.
Bradley probably could feel your sharp gaze at him but he didn't dare take his eyes off the tv. After moving in with Bradley, he didn't spear you a second of his attention which was understandable yet so very irritating. He was aware and alert of all his surroundings and he most definitely knew you were admiring his side profile instead of your book.
To add more sound above the play-by-play commentary on TV, on the baby monitor resting on the coffee table Giovanna started to cry.
"Not it."Â
Both of you said at the same time touching your nose. For the past 3 cries you had lost nose-goes. You knew you lost this one but you didn't want to move off the couch.
"I said it first." Bradley commented not bothering to shift his gaze at you. You closed your book frustrated, it wasn't fair that Bradley had faster reflexes than you.
"Rock, paper, scissors for it." You put your fist out towards him desperate not to go up. For a second you swore you saw the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. Which did make your heart skip a beat since nowhere near you did he ever look happy.
"No, you lost. Go." Bradley leaned back against the couch feeling no sympathy for you.
You left the living room with a sigh, making your way upstairs to the nursery. Right now Bradley was probably grinning now since your bothersome presence was gone. You twist the door knob and you're greeted with the most lovely high pitched crying you have ever heard.
"Hi Gigi." You muttered to the hysterical infant. Gently you reached down into the crib and picked up Giovanna, making sure to hold up her head. Based on your forearms against her warm bottom, you could tell she needs a change of diaper. "I got you honey."
After changing a diaper for months, you moved into the changing table, placing her small tense body down on the thin cot. When Bradley found out about the death of Caleb, he didn't waste a second on moving all the nursery items out of Malia and Caleb's house into his small home. You asked him if you could help assist in the move but Bradley coldly said he would do it himself.
But out of this major step up he made in his life, the thing that pulled on your heartstrings the most was Bradley had painted the spare room sky blue, and added small white clouds to the walls. To the baby it didn't matter where she was, but to Bradley it was important she still got her room.
You hand blindly tapped around the shelf under the wooden changing table for diapers and felt nothing. You poked your head down remembering you had forgotten to grab the case of diapers down stairs, and restock the changing table. Giovanna mouth opens wide in a quivering wail, gums bare, and chin trembling. Her tiny brows knitted together.
You moved to the crib grabbing the small baby monitor and speaking into the small sound system.
"Bradley, could you please bring the diaper box up please?" You felt embarrassed to even talk to him, the shame of your mistake all those years ago still haunting you. It took a second before any word was spoken by him.
"I don't remember losing this round." Bradley's raspy voice had you fluttering eyes shut. Before you could start begging, Bradley spoke again. "Hey but kiss G goodnight for me." Then it was utter silence.
I cheated on Bradley. I deserve this. I cheat on Bradley. I deserve this. I cheated on Bradley. I deserve this. You said to yourself and you quickly dashed downstairs for the pampers
âčâ~âĄâ
You got little Giovanna every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Bradley got her Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. It's like you were a team but a broken one. Holding on for the sake of the child. The days Bradley or you got her, of course one another still helped around for a little but then you were completely free.
It was Thursday morning and Bradley and you were moving through the kitchen doing your separate routines together. Bradley was holding small Giovanna in her strong arms feeding her a small bottle of formula milk. Meanwhile you made a yogurt parfait adding your granola and fruit in an aesthetically pleasing manner.
When you cooked breakfast, you always made extra for Bradley. Stubbornly Bradley would never take it. So on occasion you would slip it into the passenger seat of his bronco so he had no choice but to take it. Always you made extra for him even if he didn't eat it.
In the fridge there were definitely sections. The top shelf was yours, the bottom one Bradley's, and the middle one just condiments and baby formula. You would sneak the Tupperware leftovers into his bare section. Then the next time you were in the fridge the Tupperware box was back on your shelf.
When it was Bradley's turn to take care of the baby, he usually had iceman's wife kindly babysit her, as he went off to work or sometimes just called in sick and stayed home with Giovanna. By this time Bradley was usually out the door, so for a second you thought he was waiting for breakfast.
"Hey I was wondering if you can do a favor for me?"
Your eyes immediately snapped up at Bradley as you never heard those words for him before. Obviously he wasn't looking at you though, staring at the small baby in a pink onesie while she perfectly sat in his arms. The picture of Bradley in his navy green flight suit holding a small Giovanna would forever be tattooed in your mind.
"Yeah?" You asked, feeling a bit too excited for your own good. You went back to adding strawberries in your yogurt since he wouldn't yet look at you.
"I got this important briefing today." You glanced at him. Bradley set the bottle down on the counter before moving the baby upright. Her face over his shoulder as he patted her small back. "And Sarah can't watch G for me today."
You already assumed what the next words lined up. But you didn't jump at the chance to help him, your shoulder slumping down since of course this was a baby related matter. When you didn't respond yet Bradley rolled his eyes, forcing him to get the words out he didn't want to be spoken out loud.
"...So I was wondering if you could take care of her for today?" Once the infant let out a small burp Bradley cradled her back down into his arms. Your eyes didn't leave your yogurt this time. This could be your chance to get on Bradley's good side. For those awkward football nights to become a comfortable hangout. Yet your mind wondered back to when he didn't bring the pamper box up for you.
So out of pettiness you twisted the circle lid on to your bowl and said: "I don't remember today being my day to take care of her."
With that you grabbed your breakfast, left his yogurt parfait on the counter and exited the kitchen. Leaving Bradley standing there with his jaw clenched, holding Giovana in his arms.
âčâ~âĄâ
Maybe if I wasn't an asshole yesterday she would have helped me. Bradley thought to himself, staring down at the 4 month baby in his arms.
"Alright, I guess today itâs âtake your goddaughter to work day.â " Bradley glanced at the yogurt and with his free hand, stretched his arm out to grasp the container. Just this once, I'm eating for me not for her. He moved to the closet where the baby's Winnie the pooh bag was. He ducked down and pressed his shoulder against the wall before standing up properly and getting the strap off the hook and onto his shoulder.
"I know I almost traded you today. But don't give me a hard time for it, please." Bradley said in a baby tone holding Giovanna's small body in one arm and his yogurt in the other. The small girl made a small cooing noise as he made his way out of the house.
"Yeah I know, your godmother looked pretty today." Bradley admitted to the baby. You always looked pretty, but Bradley just had to pretend he didn't see it, for his own sake.
When Bradley got to hangar late everybody looked at him as he made his late entry. Looking like a professional godfather with a diaper bag over his shoulder, and holding a black stroller basket in his hand. He heard some of his coworkers laugh and Maverick looked at him like he was crazy.
"Rooster you can't have babies-"
"I'm sorry that it's such an inconvenience to you that her parents died." Bradley angrily stated, leaving his godfather speechless. He wasn't sure if he spoke for the baby or for his younger self as well. "Listen, I'm sorry. But I don't have anybody to watch her. She's asleep, but the moment she starts crying I'll go out into the hall and take care of it."Â
With that Maverick helplessly directed Bradley to the open seat in the back. Bradley moved down the aisle taking the seat and setting the portable baby basket on the floor and set the Winnie the pooh bag down as well.
His ears were tuned into the flight instruction Maverick gave, but his attention was on the baby asleep in the basket. With Bradleyâs boot propped up on the edge of the basket, he gently tipped it back and forth, rocking her gently.
After that Bradley had to deal with finding where to change her since there was no fold out table in the men's room. Realizing Giovanna's onesie was too small for her, having multiple women gush over the baby, and learning that Giovanna likes yogurt when he placed a dot of it by her lips. Natasha watched over Gigi in the rec room as he did his flight practice.
The moment Bradley was back home around 4 o'clock. He went straight to your room that used to be his spare bedroom. Giovana cradled in his arms, ready to pass you the baby, now since he got home. This time around Bradley didn't even knock, opening the door and seeing you laid on on your bed with your phone in your hand.
A funny thought tickled his brain that it would be nice to lay next to you. Especially since you looked so peaceful and uninterrupted. It reminded him of the days you waited for him at home in your shared apartment with open arms.
"I gotta shower, you watch the pumpkin for a bit." It wasn't a greeting or question, it was a demand as he went over to the other side of the bed and placed the baby in your arms. A fond look over took your eyes now that you had the baby once in your arms again. That second Bradley immediately missed having Giovanna warm body in his embrace.
"So how did it go?" You hesitantly asked not at all bother by the fact he just bursted in here. Bradley stood there for a few seconds debating whether to rant or not.
"Swell." Was all Bradley could say remembering he had spilt milk all over his car seats. Bradley left the room with no other words being said. Once he got to his master bedroom he realized his shower only shot out cold water. Last month he would prance into the extra bedroom and shower there since the water was always warmer.
Now with his ex-girlfriend in the other room, he would just have to suck it up and deal with the ice cold water. But today the idea of showering with cold water left Bradley shivering. So he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and white t-shirt and walked down the hall to your room.
Since he wanted to use your shower Bradley knocked on the door this time before letting himself in. The moment he set foot through your door he felt somewhat better seeing you taking a picture of Giovanna. He felt the tightness in his shoulder disappear for a second when you looked up at him.
"Can I use your shower? Mine only sprays cold water." Bradley found himself looking at you way longer than he usually does too caught up in the scene before him.
"Yeah go for it." You casually said looking back at the baby and letting out a delighted squeal. "Gosh you're so cute G! You're like the doll I always wanted." His feet were pasted to the ground forgetting why he was here. A small smile pulled on his lips; Bradley always thought you would make a great mother for his kids. He almost wanted to tell you he loved you at that moment.
Your eyes looked back at him and thatâs when his feet directed him to the bathroom. It was a very odd feeling, being in the shower and feeling safe that you were behind the door.
Once Bradley got out of the shower he thanked you, but found himself yearning to be in the same room as you two girls.
"Do you mind if I sit for a little?" Bradley pointed at the spot by the edge of the bed. He had no right to ask that especially with the way he had been ignoring you for the past month. You hummed a response and Bradley took a seat. He had nothing to talk to you about besides the baby. "Did you see the little rash on her thigh?" He asked, turning to look at you.
You grabbed one of your silk pillows before setting down sleepy Giovanna on the nice material. "Yeah. Don't worry we put baby powder on before the diaper this time so she should be good." Your attention was on Bradley once again and there was nothing he could do besides feel embarrassed about how badly he wanted to kiss you at that moment.
"You know she likes yogurt?" Bradley stupidly announced not knowing what more to say.
"Does she?" You perked up, raising your brows.
"Oh yeah. You should have seen it." Bradley laid back against the foot of the bed wanting to see Giovanna sleep. "Got a finger full and put it by her mouth to try, and she ate it without making a face." The soft rise and fall of the little babyâs chest made Bradley smile. Babies were such a blessing, for a second Bradley was glad she was too small to understand that her parents had passed away.
In this moment laying next to Gigi, Bradley felt drained from the day's events and sleepiness overtook him. Closing his eyes to rest his eyes lids for a second. Slowly starting to grow unconscious.
"You took the yogurt?" Was the last thing Bradley heard before he had completely blacked out on your bed.
âčâ~âĄâ
Not a day went by that you didn't think about Bradley accidentally falling asleep in your bed. Both Giovanna and Bradley had tired each other out passing out side by side. You kept telling yourself it was the pure utter exhaustion that had Bradley out like a light in your bed, not because he wanted you close... But why the hell would he sit down in the first place?!
You had thrown a blanket over him and an hour later he had woken up. Automatically you thought he would leave but he got up and gently placed Gigi in the middle of your bed, before laying down in your bed. What the hell?! Bradley hated you, the hell was he doing casually laying in your bed, like he did this everyday... a few years ago he used to.
Bradley didn't bring up the sleepover in your room, nor did you. It was the same routine with Bradley after that, grocery shopping together, occasionally greeting each other good morning, him watching football while you read on the couch, trying to get Giovana to say her first words.
Once when you were on the couch you had blacked out while doing a word search. Yet somehow the next morning you woke up in your own bed. You didn't ask Bradley but you were 100% sure that he had tucked you in. But obviously you didn't ask.
Slowly but surely you had a feeling that Bradley was warming up to you. Like the past could maybe stay the past and you could work together, to make eachother life easier. That's why you made sure to butter Bradley up before he realized that you could be trusted once again.
Everytime he lost in nose-goes you volunteered to check on Giovanna instead, when he lost his keys you helped him look, when he came back home you offered up your shower before Bradley could ask.
On a Monday afternoon when he came back home rather late, you had Giovanna on your lap playing with the rainbow stacking ring toy. Bradley was wearing civilian clothes so this must have been one of the rare nights he went to the Hard Deck. His Hawaiian shirt was a blue decorated with black palm trees, you were certain he wore that shirt the day he had planned you a surprise birthday party many years ago.
"Hey." Bradley passed by the living room, moving to his room not caring to talk to you like usual.
"Hi," You threw your head back following his every movement. "Do you wanna know the score of the game?" Bradley stopped in his tracks and smirked a bit. You never cared much for meatheads pushing each other on a field before so he was amused.
Bradley rested his hand on the white stair ball finial, and propped his chin on his hand. "Tell me."
"Eagles 25 and Buccaneers 11." You started bouncing your leg making Giovanna gently coo. Bradley pressed his lips together, trying not to smile.
"Did you search that up?"
You shook your head and lifted your head up focusing on Giovanna instead. "No." The baby grasped the red ring sliding it down on the pole "I watched it." You timidly confessed.
"Did you?" Based on the sound of his voice you could tell he was smiling. Not being able to see his facial expression reminded you of when he was deployed and you could hear the warmth in his voice through the phone. "Since when do you watch football?"
"Today when I missed you sitting next to me." You muttered so he couldn't hear. You grabbed a green ring and slid it on to the pole. Giovanna burbled in disagreement, her small hands pushing the ring up and out of the pole.
You thought Bradley had left but his raspy voice had your blood pumping rapidly through your body. "Since what?"
"Nothing"
"No, what did you say?"Â Bradley egged on moving off the stairs and returning back to the living room. Everything was left unspoken between you two, so he was pushing your limits wondering if you had the guts to say that to his face.
"I said nothing."
âčâ~âĄâ
"Do you need the shower?" You instantly asked Bradley when he had knocked on your door. It broke his heart that you always thought he wasn't here for you. Using your shower was now just becoming some bullshit excuse to come visit you and be close.
Through the reflection of the dark window, you were doing your mascara. Now that your eyes didn't linger on him, he missed your attention now since he didn't have it.
"No, Giovanna toy keyboard doesn't work, and I think I left some spare batteries in your closet." Bradley checked you out since you weren't facing him, his eyes focused on your ass a little longer than necessary.
"Yeah, you can check." You answered. Too busy fixing your appearance to get it yourself. Bradley walked into your cozy room and opened your closet. "Are you sure you want to hear those lovely symphonies she can play?"
Bradley laughed at your sarcastic comment. "Hey if it keeps her happy." His eyes scanned over your selection of clothes before looking at the top shelf. "Honestly I think I'm more addicted to the cat keyboard than she is." He heard you infectious laugh as Bradley grabbed at a navy shoe box with no lid.
The batteries were clearly not in there, but the items in the box had captured Bradleyâs attention. It wasn't morally correct to be going through your things, but how could he not when an old polaroid strip of pictures of both of you kissing was in the shoe box. Your closet door opened prevents you from seeing his snooping.Â
The photo booth you took that in was so tiny, you were sitting on Bradley lap while the pictures were taken. The Polaroid square of you guys making funny faces used to be in his wallet. It was a bit odd you kept it after all these years but perhaps for the memories?
Curious overtook him and he kept going through the box. His heart did a flip when he realized this box was dedicated to him. There was a movie ticket of your first date, the souvenirs shot glass he got from Florida for you, his beat up cap he thought he lost. A dried dandelion, that you had wished upon to be together forever. A baseball he wrote his number on, and a rock with googly eyes Bradley stupidly made for you one day when you wanted a pet.
Bradley forgot some of these things had completely existed.
"Did you find it?" Your voice had startled Bradley. He stole the pet rock from the box before sliding it back onto the shelf.
"On second thought, I think the meow meow piano sounds just fine with zero sound." Bradley closed your closet giving you a once over before you turned around to face him. "You look beautiful." Bradley's mouth moved quicker than his brain. He felt like he was caught red handed.
Your face lit up at the compliment "Thank you. I'll see you later, Rooster."
Time heals all wounds. For once Bradley might agree with the saying because, for the first time in forever Bradley could forgive your past actions. It wasn't the shoe box that changed his mind, but everything else in-between. You had thrown a blanket over him the night he fell asleep on the foot of your bed. You watched the eagles game to tell him the score. Made him food even if he didn't eat it. Always giving him your full attention, every time he talked to you.
The truth was Bradley had never stopped loving you. It was hard enough already that one of Bradley's best friends had died, but to make it worse they were the 2 people that had brought you and Bradley together. Bradley was just a chauffeur at their wedding, a little lost between careers. Meanwhile you were one of the cute bridesmaids that stood besides the bride on the steps. Wearing a silk lavender gown that fits you like a glove.
Melissa and Caleb were nice people, so they had let Bradley sit at one of the tables during the wedding at the fancy country club. Bradley's eyes were burning into you. The moment you recognized his piercing gaze, you shot him a smooth wink with a gentle smile. The small gesture did something to him. Feeling recognized and reassured in a crowd where he knew no one.
After eating the food the caters had so kindly served, he went back to the black SUV, not wanting to overstay his welcome. Bradley sat there for a while listening to music with his seat reclined. That's when he heard the knock on the window. The bridesmaid hadn't had her fun yet.
With a smirk Bradley rolled down his window.
"I got you cake. Was wondering if I could sit with you?" You licked some frosting off your finger holding a plate of lemon cake and a bottle of champagne. Bradley unlocked the passenger door for you. One thing led to another and the chauffeur had his fun with the bridesmaid. That's where it had all begun. If it weren't for Bradley's unemployment crisis, then he would have never met you at Melissa and Caleb's wedding. The thought genuinely scared him.
That's why it felt like a punch to the gut when both of you were announced as Giovanna godparents. Melissa and Caleb thought both of you were made for each other. The night of their wedding you had catched the money bouquet you had pointed the flowers at him and said: âBaby itâs gonna be you and me up there next!â That day was the first time he met you, and technically you were a complete stranger, but he believed you.
There was this regret that lingered, when you had moved into his house. If Bradley forgave you for cheating before then the pair of you could have been living together for a long time now. He wasted time that could have been. Lots of ifâs played on his mind. If you and him hadn't broken up, Melissa and Caleb probably wouldn't have gotten into a car crash. If Melissa and Caleb didn't die, Giovanna would still have parents.
âčâ~âĄâ
It was crazy to know that you had spent 2 months raising Giovanna, and living with Bradley. It was Thanksgiving. Which lands on a Thursday, so Bradley had responsibility over 5 month Giovanna. The little girl was growing too now. Her hair was getting a little longer so you had to brush it down. She could crawl now from Bradley back to you and her teeth were starting to come in.
For Thanksgiving you had asked Bradley if he had any plans. Last time, you remember he was the life of the party, he was the music, the entertainment, the drunk, playing with the dog, the social butterfly of the function. Actually Bradley was a fun time in general, he had that positive mindset that made everyone smile.
But you were surprised when he said he had nothing going on. All his friends were home for the holidays, so there would be no get together. It broke your heart because Bradley didn't have any other family to celebrate with. Meanwhile you had plans with your sister's family to eat turkey at 6 in the evening. You had invited Bradley but he kindly declined saying he didn't want to intrude. No matter how much you told him he was more than welcome he said he would be fine at home with Giovanna.
Around three o'clock you were already dressed to head to your sister's house. But when you were going down the stairs, Bradley's back was facing towards you. He was sitting on the floor in the living room with Giovanna. The parade was playing on TV and there was a tower of blocks being stacked between them.
G was wearing a white long sleeve shirt with an orange dress that had a small pumpkin embroidered on the center pocket.
"You're such a little pumpkin you know that?" Bradley fondly stared at Giovanna stacking blocks on top of one another. She started to giggle when they all topped over hitting the ground with a soft thud. Bradley could never handle the cuteness, scooping the baby up into his lap, and kissing all over her chubby face. "You're my little pumpkin right?"
She stared up at him with her hazel eye, the exact same color as her father's. Giovanna didn't know how much she meant to Bradley. That he would give her the world if she asked for it. Bradley kissed her forehead giving her a little squeeze.
"Don't grow up on me okay? You're not allowed to."
Everything about him was amazing. Probably still one of your favorite people even after you broke up. You didn't want Bradley to catch you staring for the millionth time longingly. So you shook your head and quickly scurried off the stairs in the direction of the foyer. You slipped your kitten heels on and we're out the door.
When you were in your car and turned the engine on you werenât able to put the car in drive. The whole week you've been looking forward to this. Your sister made the best mashed potatoes and was an amazing hostess. Always had fun party games that had you doubling over in laughter and fondly looking back at when they were memories. The family picture that always took way too long to get snapped. You'd always loved the sense of family when everyone listed what they were grateful for.
But this time around the two people you were grateful for wouldn't even be at the diner table. You were just outside of the house, and you already missed them. It's safe to think that you might have separation anxiety from those two. Going to Thanksgiving at your sisterâs didn't even seem appealing when you could be home with Bradley and Giovanna. Yes, you had grown up with your sister and cousins, but you had a new family now to prioritize and put first.
You backed out of the driveway and instead of going in the direction of your sister's house, you went the opposite way to the grocery store.
Once you had gotten to the Grocery store thirty minutes away from your house, you realized you never cooked Thanksgiving dinner. Last time you tried helping when you were younger, your mother had kicked you out of the kitchen. Saying you did better off watching the parade. Times like this you really wished your mom wouldn't shoo you away, and showed you how to prepare the turkey.
Staring at the freezer full of turkey, you couldn't resist shaking your head feeling nauseous. No way would you be able to cook that, and make it edible. The next best thing was the warm rotisserie chicken under the yellow oven lights. Turkey, chicken- tomatoe, tomato, pretty much the same thing. So you grabbed the warm plastic box and placed it into the cart.
You were ready to turn the dinner into a lazy one, as you reached for the mashed potato mix on the shelf. Then your hand dropped back to your side. Bradley liked the mashed potatoes with the lumps in them because it reminded him of his mom, since she never had the patience to fully smash them down. You ditched the artificial mashed potatoes and went back to the produce, to grab some real potatoes.
Oh and Bradley also likes pumpkin pie. Never finishes the slice, but he likes the thought of one. Maybe he would prefer brownies and ice cream, like his mom used to do?
You took a shaky exhale feeling the emotions bubble to the surface, while grabbing a sack of potatoes. The biggest regret you ever made in your life was cheating on Bradley. He was the best boyfriend you ever had, and you had thrown 4 years down the drain like it was nothing. Bradley trusted you to be loyal to him; he told you his fears, secrets, likes, traumas, hobbies, and you didn't even think twice about that.
Tears started to flood your vision while you pushed the cart towards the dessert aisle. You were convinced that you were an awful person. Everything changed after Melissa announced she was pregnant in July. You had been dating Bradley for almost five years and there was zero ring. You tried convincing yourself that you weren't ready for marriage or kids or living together. But with Bradley you never felt so sure in your life.
Bradley said it was never the right time to get married, it's like every other day in the year he was doing a mission or getting deployed. He wanted stability for both of you when you got married. That he was waiting for a point in his career where everything would settle down... but it never did. You didn't care about stability or the right time. Every day felt like the right time for forever to begin when you were with Bradley. You loved everything that came with Bradley Bradshaw, even down to the crazy deployment set backs.
You got tired of hearing it'll happen tomorrow, or this year, or "soon baby, when everything works out." The world was gonna keep on spinning and you were still waiting for Bradley's perfect moment to strike like the Rooster in him.
Around the time of Melissa's first ultra scan, you were sick of waiting. You had gone out with your sister and a group of her friends to a club. Not somewhere familiar like the Hard Deck but something across town that wasn't Bradleyâs scene at all. You were just so pissed at the timing, and everyone growing up without you.Â
Then the shots happened, cocktails, and a beer (which you weren't a fan of but you drank it because it was Bradley's favorite). After drinks, it correlated to dancing to the heavy music blasting in the club.
Some guy ended up grabbing at your hips when you were swaying them. You looked around for your friends, none of them in sight. First thing you thought of was: Bradley would not like this. You weren't even remotely attracted to the guy grinding against you and he didn't hold a candle close to Bradley. Yet another thought came in: I also donât like sitting around waiting for Bradley to get his shit together, so what did it matter if I danced with some random guy who had the same build as my boyfriend?
You couldn't even blame the influence of drinking for what you had done after that. Because you were fully aware that it wasn't right, except you were so numb to it all in that moment you didn't care. But when you had got to sleep in a bed that wasn't Bradley's you immediately regretted it. There would be no church bells, or baby showers after your tramp behavior.
The day after when you were severely hung over, Bradley had called you asking you to come grab a bite with him at your guys favorite burger joint. When You got there you looked and felt horrible, but the moment you sat down he still greeted you with: "Hi beautiful."
Bradley was so happy to see you, and when he leaned down to hug you, you felt disgusted and ashamed with yourself. Bradley had ordered your favorite before you got here. He looked so tall and handsome and he was all yours for those last few minutes. Your food hadn't even been served yet. But you couldn't bear leading a kind hearted man like him on. After a massive exhale you confess your sin while crying immediately.
The only times you have ever seen Bradley heartbroken was when Natasha and Bob had gotten hurt during a training accident, and both anniversary days when Carole and Nick died. Now you were the one to be a part of his pain. Bradley had let you explain yourself through sobs. Not telling you to breathe, or calm down. He made you feel sorry and ashamed.
After that he was gone. Bradley moved out of the apartment first, leaving you with an empty place. Where 4 walls haunted you with the memories built inside. It didn't matter how much you called him because he never answered. With your tail between your legs you went to the Hard Deck to try to show him he still meant the world to you. But none of that mattered to him any longer, and you understood that.
A one night stand and your whole relationship was ruined. You couldn't even look yourself in the mirror after that. All you felt was pure utter hatred for yourself, that the best part of your life was gone because of your own actions. Then it occurred to you that it was better waiting your whole life for Bradley to be ready then, have him out of your life for good.
You ruined your own forever, and now you were forced to deal with the consequences everyday near the love of your life that would never forgive you. Most of your Thanksgiving shopping was spent wiping your eyes, like you have been doing for the past 2 months. Knowing this was your fault.
It was around 5 o'clock when you came back home. When you entered the house with grocery bags marking your arms, Bradley was no longer in the living room.
Not only did you have a breakdown at the supermarket but you still needed to prepare some massive feast you weren't even in the mood to make anymore. But you moved forward.
You had a rag over your shoulder as you lit a candle on the table. Hopefully Bradley didn't assume you were making a move on him, and just wanted to hang out with him. After arranging the silverware, and three plates around the table you suddenly felt embarrassed by doing this much. Never have you eaten dinner at the table all together once since youâve lived here, and if you did eat it was only ever in the living room in front of the tv.
A frown fell on your lips. It felt shameful to walk up stairs and tell Bradley that Thanksgiving dinner was served and ready. It was a very vulnerable feeling to show that you did enjoy his company, and might have even preferred it over your actual family members.
"I thought you were at your sister's."
Bradley sounded as shocked as you felt, when you saw him in the dining room. He was holding Giovanna in his arms and with her tiny hands playing with his dog tags that were tucked in his shirt. Your mouth felt bone dry, standing there awkwardly like you had been caught doing something terrible.
"Well- I uh. I was, I was gonna go and but I thought-"
"You made this?" Bradley pointed at the table with a raised brow. Suddenly the rotisserie chicken in the center felt like the biggest disappointment on the table. Everything felt so pathetic, and you wished the floor had swallowed you whole.
"Mh hm." You nodded. Giovanna's face planted into his chest and Bradley's lips pulled into a small grin. You couldn't tell if it was because of the growing baby in his arms or the Thanksgiving dinner.
"And we're gonna eat together?" All you could do was, nod your head nervously not knowing what was the right answer. The suspense for his feeling about this was killing you.
"If you want. I'm sorry about there being no turkey- I just. I never learned how to prepare one and it was last minute and all but." Your ramble was cut short.
 "No, no I love it. it's perfect." Bradley looked at the mash potatoes fondly. You hoped he would taste the lumps in them later. "You actually care about me." It was hard to tell if that was a question or statement coming from his tone of voice.
"Shut up." You laughed it off like it was nothing.
âčâ~âĄâ
What the hell was Bradley doing on this date? He didn't even like Thai food, let alone how busy a trendy restaurant could be. The worst thing about dates was the small talk he had to pretend to care about. By all means the raven haired girl, Caroline across the table from him was very nice and pretty. But mentally he wasn't at the restaurant, he had never disassociated so hard from reality before.
Bradley missed you and Giovanna. It felt like he was counting down the seconds until he got to see you two again. He longed to smell the lavender scent that stuck to your clothes, and the way Johnson & Johnson shampoo smelled in Giovanna hair. The smell in his imagination tickled his nose like he was actually near both of you. Bradley felt the bump in his front pocket, where he carried the flat pet rock he stole from you. It was like he was a little kid with his comfort blanket, somehow carrying the stupid rock made Bradley feel like he was closer to you.
All he could do was nod his head at Caroline pretending he understood everything she was saying. How could Bradley be on a date with another woman when he knew he loved you? After the Thanksgiving meal, it was all set in stone for him that you were all he ever wanted and needed. Bradley didn't have anybody to share that holiday with, and you had gone out of your way to ditch your earlier plans to make and eat dinner with him and Giovanna. Lumpy mashed potatoes, and Brownies with ice cream for dessert just like his mom used to do it. It warmed Bradley's heart that you still remembered those stupid silly details he would retell about his childhood Thanksgiving. It made him smile that after 6 years of saying you wanted to learn how to cook a turkey, you still didnât know how. The rotisserie chicken didnât matter though, what mattered was that you had tried with the intention of eating all together.Â
He felt seen and cared for, the exact same feeling he had when he had dated you before you had cheated on him. Always he blamed you for what happened, that was what had him sleeping well at night. Except for the past week straight it wasn't so easy to go to bed. He kept tossing and turning and the thought came to mind: maybe if I married her earlier on, we would still be together.
If Bradley put himself in your shoes then he would get sick of waiting too. He most likely would feel insecure, if you kept on putting the idea of marriage off. So he did come to terms with the thought that maybe you felt like an option instead of a priority. Not most girls wouldn't deal with a guy getting deployed 3 times a year and still wait for him to get back, but you did. From the moment he met you, he recalled you saying long distance relationships were stupid, but for him you sucked it up.
Maybe it was his fault that you cheated on him.
"Bradley?"
Caroline giggled, once he didn't reply to her question. Then his mind floated back into his body, and he was sitting at a table covered with a red cloth and a yellow candle flickering between the two of them. The food had arrived and he didn't even recall seeing the waiter place the dishes down.
"Sorry I get distracted sometimes. What was that?" Bradley raised his brows and glanced at his stake. He didn't even remember ordering either.
They made small talk trying to get to know each other but Bradley was still thinking about you. Random Thought crept in and out like: is she thinking about me too?
Whatever happened to her favorite sleep shirt that used to be mine?
Do you know I stole the pet rock from your box, and keep it in my pocket wherever I go?
Did the scare on your lower back ever healed after you scrapped it against the pool?
Does she still think of me when âGreat Balls Of Fireâ plays?
Does she realize I carry her to bed when she falls asleep on the couch?
There were so many thoughts left unanswered because Bradley never asked you. Up until now did he actually start making full conversations with you instead of humming replies and using head signals. Bradley never wanted to be home so bad in his life. Even if that meant you reading on the couch, while he watched tv.
Bradley didn't even finish his food before he was pushing his chair out the table and reaching for his wallet. Times like these Maverick words rang in his head: don't think just do.
"I'm sorry Caroline. It was nice meeting you and having dinner, but I gotta go." Bradley picked two bills of one hundred out of his wallet and placed it on the table.
She furrowed her brows staring up at him. He never liked to ditch anybody, but this didn't feel right at all. "Okay... is everything alright?"
"Yeah, everything's fine, I just feel a bit under the weather." Bradley stood up from the table. Caroline was the move on girl, to help him get back out there and get over you. Turns out Caroline would be the girl that had him miss his ex more. "It was nice seeing you Caroline, have a nice night." She wished him a fair well and he quickly moved out the restaurant before the staff could question his departure.
When he turned the engine on in the Bronco he let out a sigh of relief that he would be heading home.
After the drive back to Coronado, Bradley was unlocking the front door, shaking the keys a few times by the door to alert you he was coming in. The whole ride back, Bradleyâs mind left the car thinking about imaginary conversation he would have with you that would most likely not happen. A few fake scenarios about the night ending in a kiss, or hug, and a little further in his bed.
Bradley threw the keys in the ceramic bowl, and took his shoes off. While in the restaurant his lap had felt awfully empty without Giovanna sitting with him. Bradley strolled into the living room and smiled at the sight before him. You passed out on the couch and Giovanna was on your lap fully awake, staring at the kids show on TV, like she could understand the words.
"Pumpkin, I thought we agreed that you wouldn't tire your godmother out?" Bradley asked the baby. Her attention snapped to him and a gummy smile took over her small face. On instinct Giovanna was stretching her small arms out to him. Bradley was such a servant to this girl, because in seconds he was sweeping her off your lap, and holding her high up in the air. Her beautiful giggles had Bradley chuckle. After playfully lifting her in the air a few times he brought her back down to his level.
"You miss me?" Bradley kissed her soft chubby cheek. Bradley took her soft coo's as a yes. "How's my girl doing huh?" He pressed lips on her forehead. Taking an inhale of how her head smells like the yellow Johnson & Johnson soap. Bradley pulled away and with his big finger he booped her small button nose.
"I should put your godmother to bed, huh? Can't leave her down here." Bradley stared at the little girl in his arms waiting for a reply. Obviously she said nothing, just staring up at him with her clueless hazel eyes. He was gonna protect and take care of Giovanna for the rest of her life and he wasnât mad about it at all. "Gosh you're so cute, I want to eat you." Bradley put her small hand up to his mouth and gently sank his teeth on her small finger. Bradley kissed her hand before looking back at your relaxed face.
"I'm gonna put Gigi upstairs and then I'll come back for you okay?" Bradley reassured your sleeping self, as he went up the creek steps. Once Giovanna was in her crib Bradley moved back downstairs. He made sure everything was put away and locked up, before he went back to the couch where you had fallen asleep.
Bradley had done this a total of 5 times, and he was pretty sure you never noticed. Careful not to wake you, he placed his arm underneath your knees, and his other arm under your back. Bradley easily got you off the sofa. Carrying you always reminded him of how much he used to love doing it. The only light provided was the one shining down on the stairs, so he made sure not to skip or trip any steps.
The old wooden floorboards creaked underneath him, and a small laugh had caught his attention. Bradley looked down at you, in his arms and there was an obvious smile that you were holding back.
"You're such a fucking liar."
Bradley huffed out, once you had the liberty to have a good laugh. Your energy was so infectious he found himself laughing. It left him wondering if you played pretend all the time to have him carry you up the steps. Here Bradley thought he was so slick with bringing you to bed, but it looks like you did notice.
"I saw an opportunity so I took it." You reasoned. Bradley avoided eye contact because if he did look at you, he was sure he might solidify his brewing feelings. There was a part of Bradley that told him that it shouldn't feel natural to hold you like this, but it felt so right.
Bradley got to your room and gently kicked the door open. "Sorry, We don't do free rides here." He placed you on the bed like you were a delicate flower. You rested on your elbows staring at him amused.
"Sorry, What form of currency do you take?" You raised your brows expectantly. First thing that came to mind was a kiss, but he shook his head.
"Just don't let it happen again." Bradley warned as if this wasn't the peak of his night. This little moment felt better than being on a date with some random girl Natasha set him up with.
At the same time both of you spoke.
"How was the date-"
"I'm gonna go cheek on G-"
Bradley wanted to slam his head against the wall for not thinking of any other small talk besides the baby you had in common.
"Alright, I'll see you in the morning Brad." Your cheeky little smile had definitely dropped. He would be lying to himself if he said that you being upset over his absent presence didn't slightly excite him.
"Yeah, Night." Bradley was hesitant to go, but ultimately left, closing your door.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. He sighed to himself as he went to Giovanna's room. Once he looked down at the crib he was surprised to see that the little girl had passed out in the short time he went to collect you upstairs. She looked like a little lamb when she slept. Her features were not fully developed, but she looked like her parents. She had Melissaâs straight brown hair, and Calebâs ears. Bradley never thought he could love a little baby so much in his life. Giovanna was worth every Hard Deck trip and rank he had given up.Â
"Sweet dreams G. Scream if you need anything." Bradley kissed the tips of his fingers and then pressed them to her forehead. He turned on the small baby monitor by her crib, made sure she was comfortable before he left her room.
Bradley somehow forgot which way his room was, and magically ended up knocking on your door again. Once he was allowed entrance Bradley, opened the door, and you were still in bed resting against your head board.
"She fell asleep like a little lamb-"
"Do you wanna use the shower?" Both of you spoke above each other. It occurred to Bradley that it might be odd that he was here, considering he only entered to use your shower. For a second he almost thought it was okay for him to be here.
"No, I just wanna talk to you." Your curiosity peaked. Bradley had nothing interesting or planned out to say, he just wanted to be next to you. Bradley decided to be bold and move to the other side of the bed, and lay down with his head against the headboard as well. Your head turned to him, waiting for him to say something. Bradley felt settled knowing he had figured out his feelings on you, but he felt antsy in front you. "What was the score of the game?" Bradley stupidly asked now that he felt all nervous and tongue tied.
Your laugh made him smile. "Uhm hate to break it to you Eagles lost, 33-36."
"No." Bradley said playfully, any other day he would be heartbroken if the Commanders won, but since he was in your bed, it didn't hurt too much.
"Yeah I'm sorry." You nodded in a pitiful manner. There was a silence that fell over both of you after, he couldn't tell if it was comfortable or awkward. He guessed it was uncomfortable since you were quick to speak again. "How was the date?"
"You know-" Bradley thought it was better to lie or settle on the truth. He already laid in your bed, might as well say it how it is. He spoke quickly because looking into your eyes made his stomach flip. "I couldn't really enjoy it, I was missing you guys too much." The words hung in the air finally being said. Your eyes had softened but you had looked straight ahead. A small smile captured your side profile.
"I have the same problem." You admitted making Bradley feel relieved. "Don't worry we missed you too." A grin pulled at his lips. Crazy how far a little communication could get you. "Wait, can I tell you something? But promise you won't think I'm weird or laugh." You sat up against the headboard. It seems as Bradley's confession had started a domino effect and you wanted to let something off your chest as well.
"I promise." Bradley nodded, feeling very good about himself since he had gained your trust.
"Okay." The hesitation flashed before your eyes just like it had with him earlier. You took a deep breath and spoke. "The 3 days the remote control to the TV was lost, I had hidden it so you were forced to talk to me."
Bradley didn't let his jaw drop, or laugh. He controlled his emotions, pressing his lips together, even though inside he was freaking out about it. Your little plotting had worked because in those three days Bradley did start talking to you way more than he usually did. Bradley recalled being very annoyed when he had missed the Eagles game last week, but he wasnât very upset about it now. It felt good to hear that. It felt even better to know you would go to those measures for him to open up to you. Bradley glanced at your poker face, he had a feeling of the silence and his lack of reaction might be driving you crazy. He didn't want to judge you, so he decided to admit something as well.
"When you kiss Giovanna goodbye, I get a little jealous I don't get a bye bye kiss." Bradley turned to look at you and you started to erupt In a fit of giggles. "You can't laugh." Brad bent one of his legs up, trying not to laugh at himself. Your room was turning into a confessional, because there were a lot of things both of you had on your mind.
"Sorry, I'm not judging at all." You put your hands out in defense. The Thanksgiving dinner, and watching football games for him proved you still cared about him. But hearing it was a whole different feeling. He thought the conversation was over but you revealed another thought.Â
"When I go out with a new guy and he does something I don't like. I think Bradley would never."
Bradley hated thinking about you going out with another guy, but it was nice to know that you held him as the standard or expectation. You still thought of him the same way, he did with you. Your eyes anticipated his next admission. Bradley let out a little laugh at how eager you looked.
"Can't laugh." You pointed a scolding finger at him. He put his arms up in surrender like you did not too long ago. Bradley wasn't sure he wanted to admit his thoughts, he was sure that he was way more screwed in the head then you.
"You left a perfume bottle in the apartment when we broke up. Sometimes when I get lonely-" Bradley let out a nervous laugh while shaking his head. He was gonna regret this later. "I spray the perfume on my pillow, so it's like...I'm laying next to you."Â Bradley physically couldn't face you, so he started to rub his forehead. There was no laugh, or gasp from you. Just acceptance and no judgement. But he didn't know your facial expression since he was too embarrassed to face you.
"I have a shoe box dedicated to you. It's got souvenirs of our relationship in it."
"I already know that one." Bradley ignorantly blurted out before he could think. A gasp came out of your lips and you swatted his shoulder in disbelief.
"How do you know that?"
Bradley was a red mess now. He was sure his ears were crimson, like every other time he laughed too much or got embarrassed. "When I went to get batteries in your closet. I found the box." Bradley bucked his hips up and reached into his front pocket. He pulled out the flat grey rock with googly eyes.
"I know this was missing!"Â You shrieked out snatching the pet rock from out of his palm, the contact made his heart rate pick up. You must go through the box often, if you knew the rock was missing. "Start confessing before I throw Erile at your head." You smiled at him once he finally had the courage to face you again. Erile, that was the stupid rockâs name, he had been trying to figure that out for weeks.
"I don't want to say anything. Your confessions are so mild compared to mine." Bradley chuckled trying his best to maintain eye contact with you. You placed the pet rock on his folded knee.
"Fine, I'll give you two." You hummed and looked up at the ceiling trying to think of some. Still had the cutest thinking face he had ever seen. "Alright, here's one. I learned how to play piano. So I can play great balls of fire because-"
You cut yourself off reaching for the rock but Bradley grabbed it off his knee before you could. Last time he tried teaching you basic piano skills, you ended up on his lap, while you requested him to play song after song.
"Your second one?"
"Every day I listen to the Playlist you made for me." That made him smile. Because he wasn't a passing thought, but one tattooed in your brain. But still your confession was as crazy as the ones he's committed. Bradley pressed down at the plastic googly as and began to state his secret.
"When I get deployed, I take all your past letters out of my attic and put them in my bag. Then when I'm in my bunk, I pretend like I'm reading them for the first time. When in reality I have all of them memorized⊠I find it crazy that somebody loved me that hard."
"Baby I still love you that hard." You admitted with a laugh. Once you realized what you had said, you were quick to move past it like it didn't happen. Bradley didn't get a chance to say his I love you too, since you moved on to your confession. "I bought some expensive crystals. Hoping it's magic would have you forgive me."
Bradley started laughing, now realizing why he saw pretty colored rocks everywhere around the house. "How's that working out for you?" Bradley smirked.
"Mh well you're talking to me right now, so I'd say pretty damn good." Your laughter is always his favorite melody. He wasn't into the whole hippy chick zodiac thing. But right now- god bless those god damn stupid rocks. This was probably the best night he had in your two months living here with him. Bradley placed the pet rock down on your white sheets, wondering if he should shut.
"I got a good one." Bradley crossed his arms over his chest. Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it.
"Let's hear it." You mimicked his pose crossing your arms as well. It felt like he was picking the petal off a flower. She loves me, she loves me not. She ironically loves me... or not.
"My biggest regret was not marrying you when I had the chance."
That was the final comment that left you speechless. It's like both of you were trying to outdo one another, instead of realizing the things that were being spoken out loud. You bit your bottom lip, shaking your head. Every time you cried your bottom lip would quiver and jutt out, so you bit it to prevent it. The last thing he wanted to do was have you upset with him.
"Bradley I'm so-" Bradley gently brushed his lips over yours. Not long enough to be considered a kiss but maybe an accident. But you were so caught up with the past the action of intimacy went unnoticed by you. "I can't do anything besides say I'm sorry one hundred times. And say some bullshit like I wish I could take back the past. If you gave me a second chance I would not mess it up." You rambled on letting the tears pool at your eyes. Your earlier confessions didn't compare to the amount of emotions that went through your eyes in these few seconds. "Please, you didn't even offer me a second chance. But I would wait now Bradley. Whatever you wanna do, I'm with you. If you want me to change, I would. My biggest regret is even thinking about somebody else when you were everything I have ever wanted."
You sniffled, wiping at your runny nose. A soft smile came on your lips that read, it's okay if you wanna keep pushing me away. None of your love letters when He was deployed had compared to this moment. It felt like everything was right in the universe. All the years of wondering and yearning were being said out loud. Bradley still loved you, and you still loved Bradley. Both of you had always been sure.
"C'mere." Bradley said with open arms. You hesitated before scooting closer and his arms were wrapped around your waist and your face was pressed to his chest. The missing piece of the puzzle was finally put into place. "I forgive you." Bradley muttered into your hair, kissing the crown of your head.
"Really?"
"With my whole heart." Bradley wasn't lying one bit, he forgave you. He was over with all the, ignoring you and pretending like he didn't see your kind gestures. Bradley had figured out his feelings, and never felt so sure of somebody before.
Taking care of Giovanna got stressful sometimes and going through the emotions of lost loved ones was tough. But with each other it felt like you could manage it together. These were the roughest times both of you would be going through, and it was better to do it together then separate.
AHHHHHHH! đŠ I said give me 3 or 5 days to write this. I meant 10 to 20 business days hahaha. So sorry for the wait, I hoped you liked it. Cheers to my first request <3
author's note: just like all my other fics, we are existing in an alternate plane where tito was never traded. also i've never worked for the nhl, so i have no idea how accurate being a photographer is but guess what. idgaf. also sorry for the amount of italics in this fic, i have no self control apparently. and shoutout to my new friend @dani746 for helping me with this monstrosity.
summary: you've been in love with mat barzal for as long as you can remember, so what do you do when he asks for your help to win over your friend?
pairing: mat barzal x islanders photographer!reader
warnings: cursing and low self esteem
despite working for the isles for two years now, you still got nervous walking into work.
you weren't a stranger to the team, some of them you knew quite well. anders and marty being two players you were friendly with (mainly due to the fact that you were somewhat friendly with their wives). but there was always one player who eluded you, who you'd only ever had professional interactions with.
mathew barzal.
and it shouldn't be surprising, you were a measly photographer whereas he was the star player of his team, the winner of the calder trophy, an nhl heartthrob. why should he pay attention to you?
media day was one of your favorite days, mainly because it was the closest you ever got to holding full conversations with him. not that the conversations went anything beyond "look right here" or "great job, mat."
you didn't even think he knew your name.
the longest conversation you had with him consisted of him asking to see the photos you took and patting you on your back when he liked what he saw before he went off to talk to tito.
"you having a good day?" you nearly jumped a foot in the air when your staring was cut off by anders walking up to you.
"yeah," you said when your heartbeat returned to normal. "just busy is all." you held your camera up as if that was enough of an explanation.
anders nodded. "any of the boys giving you a hard time?"
you shook your head rapidly. "nope, they've all been on their best behavior."
"even barzy and beauvillier?" at the mention of their names, the duo turned their heads and locked eyes with you and anders.
you wanted to dig a hole and die in it.
"what about us?" mat asked, sauntering over with his best friend right behind him.
"you haven't been giving her a hard time, have you?" anders crossed his arms. and if you weren't panicking at the closing distance between you and mat, you might've noticed the shared smirk between the three hockey players in front of you.
"us?" tito asked. "why would you think that? we've only ever been angels."
before anders could ask you to corroborate tito's story, your name was called. you awkwardly waved to the three men before walking over to another set of props, ready to photograph another hockey player.
"done embarrassing yourself?" your coworker tyler asked.
you lightly shoved his shoulder. "shut up."
"seriously, you're not his type," he added. "he's not gonna go for you."
tyler might as well have stabbed you in the gut with how much his words hurt you, but you put a smile on and nodded. "yeah, i know. i know."
and you did.
you knew.
but you'd be delusional for a little while longer if it meant going to work wouldn't suck every day.
later that night, you found yourself at a bar with a group of your friends. you didn't want to go originally, but when alexa said she needed to go out to get over her ex, you felt like you had no other choice.
which is how you found yourself sipping a soda water in a booth while your friends danced and took body shots.
your gaze wandered around the bar aimlessly before you checked your phone for the time.
you'd only been there for an hour.
it took all self restraint not to bang your head against the table.
"having fun?" your head snapped up at the familiar voice only to see anthony beauvillier standing at the edge of your booth with a self satisfied smirk.
"i--"
"i didn't take you as one to go out drinking on a weeknight," he said.
you slumped into your seat. "i'm not. my friend alexa wanted to go out because her boyfriend just dumped her and she wanted a distraction."
anthony took the seat opposite of you. "and that is...?" he gestured at your drink.
"soda water," you answered. "i'm the DD for tonight."
"oof," he groaned before taking a sip of his beer. "that's rough."
you shrugged. "it's not that bad, i'd rather my friends get home safe than get drunk and show up to work hungover."
anthony nodded in a way that you'd seen other men do, the type of nod that comes right before someone looks around for someone more interesting to talk to.
"but what about you?" you rushed out, nearly tripping over your own words.
tito smiled. "what about me?"
"why're you here?"
he shrugged. "mat wanted to come out and didn't want to go out alone, so here i am."
mat.
you wanted to vomit.
"oh," you mumbled. "mat's here?"
tito nodded and gestured with his bottle to the bar. "he's over there talking to some brunette."
you followed with your eyes and when you finally locked eyes on him, you wished you hadn't.
he was talking to alexa, smiling at her the way you wished he'd smile at you.
maybe you could leave the bar and get hit by a taxi on the way out, that would be less painful than seeing the man you're in love with flirt with your friend.
"you okay?" anthony asked, nudging your leg with his foot.
you turned your gaze back to him and attempted to give him your most convincing smile. "i'm great!" you said before throwing your soda water back and coughing when the carbonation burned.
anthony didn't say a word.
when you looked back at the bar, alexa was nowhere to be found while mat was fiddling with one of his wristbands. you looked around to find alexa, thinking maybe she was in the crowd dancing or perhaps she was in line for the bathroom.
but she popped up at your table, sweaty and smiling.
"you good?" she asked before fixing her eyes on anthony who was sipping on his beer. "who's this?"
"anthony. i know him from work." tito gave her a small wave before taking another sip of his beer.
"alexa," she smiled before her attention focused back on you. "i actually met one of your coworkers, mat right?"
you forced a smile and nodded. "the one and only. what did you think?" though, to be fair, you didn't really want to know her opinion on him. not when you thought the world of him.
alexa shrugged and tossed her perfect hair over her perfect shoulder and gave a perfect smile that was a healthy balance of nonchalant and mildly interested. "he was alright, he knows he's attractive which is rather unattractive if you ask me."
tito choked on his beer while you stared in awe.
of all the words you'd use to describe mat, "alright" was not even close to the top 25.
"something funny?" alexa asked.
"nope," tito supplied, shaking his head. "nothing at all."
alexa looked at him, unconvinced, but didn't let it bother her. "i'm gonna go dance, you coming?" she asked.
you shook your head. "not really my scene."
alexa nodded and pranced off to the dance floor where the rest of your friends were grinding on strangers to the tune of some 2000s pop song.
"she's a delight," tito said.
you sighed. "she's practically miss america." you were too busy staring at her having fun to notice another person walk up to your booth until he was standing right in front of you with a question posed on the tip of his lips.
mat.
your mouth went dry at the sight of him.
"you know her?" he gestured over his shoulder to where alexa was laughing with one of your friends.
you nodded.
"are you two close?"
you shrugged.
mat sighed. "are you capable of speaking?"
tito spoke up. "mat, you just bombarded her without a single hello, chill."
mat pinched the bridge of his nose. "sorry, i just--she rejected me and i don't know why."
"you're too attractive and you know it," you blurted out before you could stop yourself. you quickly slapped a hand over your mouth like that would stop any other bullshit that might come out.
mat tilted his head and leaned in. "huh?"
"her words, not mine," you said like it would absolve you of any guilt.
"what do you mean by being 'too attractive' and 'knowing it'? how does that even make sense?"
you shrugged for what felt like the twelfth time that night. "alexa's not really into guys who are obsessed with their appearances. she just got out of a relationship with a guy like that," you explained.
mat ran a hand down his face before placing both hands on his waist. "so what do you suggest i do?" he groaned.
"i--"
he snapped his fingers and looked at you for what felt like the first time. it sent a chill down your spine that you had a problem suppressing. "can you help me?"
your mouth dropped open. "huh?"
"you're friends, right? can you help me win her over?"
you could list about a thousand other things you'd rather do. you could think of five just off the top of your head.
but he looked so earnest and willing and how could anyone possibly resist him when he looked at you like that--
"of course!" you smiled.
of course?! yes would've sufficed but now you've got him thinking you'd enjoy this. which you most certainly wouldn't.
oh who were you kidding? all attention was good attention when it came to mat barzal and you'd give anything to keep him looking at you.
"thank you!" he smiled before clapping tito on the shoulder. "ready to head out?"
anthony nodded before addressing you. "i had a nice time. see you tomorrow?"
you smiled and nodded, giving them both a small wave as they walked away. the second they were out the door, you thumped your head against the table.
playing wing-woman for mathew barzal.
what the fuck was wrong with you?
how to be a wing-woman: a guide
usually when you went to work, you kept your head down and stayed out of the way. occasionally, you'd run into anders or marty, or maybe even tito, who would say their polite hellos, but for the most part you stayed out of the way during practices.
you were looking at the photos you just took when someone banged on the glass. a quick glance (that turned into a double take) let you figure out it was mat based on the 13 on his jersey and the fact that you could pick him out of a crowd anywhere.
he waved and smiled (and you might've died inside). "can i talk to you after practice?"
you nodded frantically before gaining a semblance of self respect and slowing down.
"great! meet you outside of the locker rooms!" he said before skating away.
"what was that about?" tyler asked. you turned, not even realizing he'd made his way towards you considering you thought he was on the other side of the arena.
"what? can't i talk to the players?"
tyler laughed. actually laughed. "considering barzal has never so much as looked at you, i'd say him approaching you during practice is pretty strange."
your shoulders sunk at the weight of the truth. "if you must know," you started. "he wants to date one of my friends, so i'm helping him out."
tyler laughed again and walked away without saying another word while you scrolled through the photos you took again until practice ended.
you headed towards the locker rooms only when the last player had been off the ice for ten minutes, you didn't want to chance waiting around too long looking like an idiot.
as you waited, you made a mental note of all the editing you'd have to do when you got back to your cubicle. you got a few good shots earlier, but they'd need some tweaking before you sent them to the social media team. in fact--
"hey, what're you doing here?" you glanced up and saw anders, hair wet from whatever brief shower he took.
you shrugged, not sure if it was your place to give away mat's intentions. "just waiting around."
"for?" he pushed.
"barzy needs her to play wing-woman," tito said from over anders' shoulders. "he wants to get with her friend, but her friend isn't interested."
anders threw his head back and laughed. "barzy not getting a girl? that's fucking hilarious."
tito smirked. "tell him what your friend said" he told you.
"she doesn't like that he knows he's attractive," you mumbled.
if it was even possible, anders laughed even louder. "un-fucking-believable."
"what's so funny?" mat walked up, running a hand through his damp hair.
you said "nothing" at the same time anders asked "you got rejected, barzy?"
mat's face dropped before looking at you and tito accusingly. anthony sighed and nudged his best friend. "chill out, barz. she didn't bring it up, i did."
mat's shoulders relaxed before he punched tito in the arm. "dick," he mumbled.
anders looked between the three of you and sighed. "i don't have time for this shit," he said. "i'll see you later." and he was off down the hallway.
"so what's the plan for today?" tito asked.
"you're not included," mat said. his gaze focused on you. "can i have your number?"
you blinked. "what?"
mat laughed a little and you could feel heat and shame running up your spine. he asked you one fucking question and you had to go act like a weirdo. "so i can text you? i think we should sit down and create a strategy."
you nodded and read off your number as he typed it into his phone. "great," he gave you his megawatt smile. "i'll text you."
"okay," you breathed out as he walked away without a thought.
tito kept standing there, smirking to himself. "you're so fucked," he said.
you nodded because there was nothing else to say.
step one: talk him up
you and mat got lunch two days later on a saturday when he didn't have a game. it was rather surreal, sitting across from him in public. the delusional part of you was begging you to imagine this as a date instead of a meeting to set your friend up with mat.
when did your life turn into something so pathetic?
"okay," he started. "tell me about your friend."
you would rather do anything else.
"she just got out of a long term relationship with this guy named jared. he was a bit self absorbed which is probably why she didn't like you knowing how hot you are." you paused as the words left your mouth, ready to set yourself on fire if he reacted. but he didn't, he only leaned in closer to listen. "she uh--she likes daffodils and goes to the farmer's market at union square every saturday."
"but what's she like?" he asked. "what's her personality?"
how would you say she's the trademarked cool girl? the girl every guy wanted, that mat was one man in a long list of men who tried and failed to win her over.
"she's sweet and affectionate," you started. "she pretty girly on the outside but knows her way around a car. she grew up with three older brothers so she knows a fair bit about sports, just not hockey, but if you wanted to talk stats about football or basketball, she's your girl. in college, she held the record for fastest shotgun in her sorority."
you racked your brain for more information about your friend, but it was difficult under pressure to sum up someone you'd known since freshman year of college.
"what else?" mat asked.
"she's a bit of a partier, but knows how to settle down and just chill. she's a really good friend, like last year i dated this guy who was cheating on me the entire duration of our relationship, which i should've known about because he said he had to go on business trips all the time but he worked as a barista, and she held me while i cried for three days straight and even threatened to fuck up his car."
mat stared at you without saying anything in a way that made you want to sink into a hole, never to be seen again. "you dated a barista and thought he needed to go on business trips?"
you blinked. "that's what you got from that? me dating a shitty barista?"
he shrugged. "i heard everything else, but that was definitely the funniest part. how long did you date him?"
"six months," you replied quickly. "but that's not the point! alexa is going to play hard to get because she doesn't want anything too serious right now."
"great! neither do i!"
"but she's not a one night stand kind of girl anymore. so if you want her, you have to prove to her you can be serious enough for a relationship but not serious enough that you get clingy and overbearing and propose within six months."
mat blinked at you. "how the hell does that make sense?"
"believe me, there's a balance."
he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "and you would know this how?"
"well i uh--" you sputtered. your nerves were only encouraged by his light chuckling. "all girls know these things! we don't want overly possessive boyfriends but we also want someone to care. it shouldn't be that hard to comprehend."
"it's not," he defended. "just a little...complicated, don't you think?"
"alexa's a complicated girl!"
he sighed and ran a hand down his face. "okay so how do i show her i mean business but that i'm not looking to settle down and get married?"
"i guess i could talk you up to her in passing conversation?"
"what would you tell her? we don't know each other very well."
"i know more than you think!"
"please, share with the class."
shit.
do you confess that in the two years you'd worked for the islanders that you watched him borderline obsessively?
"well, i know you're good with kids, if your interactions with young fans is anything to go by. you don't like dogs, which is a bit of a red flag in my book, but alexa shouldn't mind. you're a fantastic hockey player, and a great teammate."
"is that enough to convince her?"
you grimaced and shook your head. "she's a bit more personable. she one time broke up with a guy because he was rude to waitstaff. she would want to know how you treat non millionaires and authority figures. for instance, how much do you tip a server?"
"25%," he replied. "but why does that matter?"
"alexa used to be a server throughout college and couldn't stand people who she knew had money but would cheap out on the tip because she didn't greet them fast enough."
mat opened his mouth, presumably to ask another question, when his phone started ringing. "shit," he mumbled. "listen, i gotta go. it was nice talking to you, i'll be in touch." he pulled out a few twenty dollar bills and put them on the table before getting up and walking away.
you waited for the server to come back before paying the bill and told them to keep the change before you got up and walked home.
when you got back to your apartment, alexa was already standing at the door, waiting to be let in.
"finally," she said. "i was wondering when you were gonna come home."
"you could've texted me," you said while unlocking the door.
she followed you inside and shut the door behind her. "i could've, but your phone was on do not disturb for some reason, so i doubt my texts would've gone through in time. where were you anyway?"
"getting lunch with a friend from work," you replied.
alexa groaned as she all but collapsed onto your couch. "please tell me it's not tyler. i hate how he treats you."
you dropped your bag by the door and headed back to your room, but not before calling over your shoulder. "he's not that bad, he's like that to everyone!"
"doesn't make it any better!"
you changed into some comfortable clothing before joining alexa on your couch. "did you have fun the other night when we went out to the bar?"
alexa looked at you weirdly.
shit. you must not have been as subtle as you thought.
"i did," she said. "but what makes you ask."
you shrugged. "i know it's been rough with your breakup lately, but i saw you talking to mat and you looked happy."
alexa groaned and sunk into the couch. "i thought we talked about this already. he knows he's attractive, it's such a turn off. you should've seen the way he was talking, it was like he knew that if he gave me a look, i'd be going home with him."
"well he's really nice, i promise! you should see him with kids at the stadium--"
"you mean the kids who idolize him? yeah i bet he's real nice to them."
okay, switch strategies.
"he tips waitstaff really well!"
"with what he makes? he better." alexa sighed. "listen, i'd be more impressed if he could tell me anything about you, but seeing as you've worked there for two years and he couldn't tell me anything other than your name the other night says all i need to know about him. so can we talk about something else?"
you nodded, ignoring the jutting pain in your chest at her words. you knew well enough that mat knew nothing about you, why would he? but to hear it come from the mouth of someone else stung.
getting them together was gonna be harder than you originally thought.
step two: get them interacting
you were dreading the next time you saw mat for the first time in your life. you were in your cubicle editing photos from the game that night to be posted tomorrow to distract yourself from the inevitable conversation you'd have to have with him. tyler, unfortunately got the shot that was posted immediately to the islanders' instagram account to celebrate their win over the rangers and he had no problem letting you know it. and while it was annoying, it served as a great distraction from your other problem.
"maybe you'll get it next time," he sneered as he packed his bag. most days you hated the fact that you were cubicle neighbors, but neither of you were powerful enough to request moving spaces. and even if you could, you knew it would just make you look hard to work with.
"have a good night, tyler," you replied, not even wanting to give him any ammo to use against you.
the door shut behind him with a click, locking you into sweet sweet silence.
until a minute later when your phone went off with a text message.
mat barzal: where ru?
mat barzal: wanna go to a bar with me and tito and you can bring alexa?
you scoffed. "you can bring alexa," you mocked under your breath. "like that's not the sole reason for you asking me to go out tonight." you packed your bag up and shot a quick text to alexa, asking if she wanted to go out. she replied with an immediate yes, asking where to meet you, which prompted you to reach out to mat who sent you an address in response.
which is how you ended up on a sidewalk in front of an incredibly busy bar with alexa next to you.
"i've never been here," she remarked. "how'd you hear about it?"
"oh, a coworker mentioned it," you said in what was hopefully a nonchalant manner.
she looked at you a moment too long before grabbing your hand and pulling you inside. "you find us a place to sit and i'll grab our drinks!" she shouted over the music.
you quickly looked around for mat and tito, the former who'd texted you the second they arrived. you saw a head of dark hair and immediately knew it was mat. you hurried over, panting when you arrived from having to shove your way towards them.
"you made it!" anthony said. you looked at him and mat, eyes bouncing back and forth between them, when you realized your first problem.
they were sitting on opposite sides of the booth.
which meant you would have to sit with one of them, and alexa would have to sit with the other. if mat had it his way, he'd sit next to alexa, but you knew your friend wouldn't have that. she'd feel manipulated and uncomfortable.
"is there a problem?" tito asked.
you gestured to the booth. "alexa will want to sit by me. she's still not convinced about you, mat."
mat, to his credit, didn't look shocked or offended, he just shrugged and moved to tito's side. "this work?" he asked as you sat down.
you nodded.
"so what's the plan? how should i approach this?" he asked.
"keep the conversation on her, when she tries to turn it on you or about your career, focus on other people, applaud your teammates, your coaches, but whatever you do, don't talk about yourself too much. she already thinks you have a big ego."
"to be fair," tito started. "he does."
mat didn't even dignify that with a response. "so keep the conversation on her and others, got it."
alexa found you a moment later and didn't do a great job covering up her disinterest in sitting with mat and beau.
"i couldn't find anywhere to sit," you explained.
alexa didn't buy it if her eyes bouncing around the bar to find empty tables said anything. but she sat next to you anyway, placing your drink in front of you.
"you remember mat and anthony from the other night, right?" you asked.
she just hummed and took a sip of her drink.
"so, alexa," mat started. "what do you do for a living?"
she stared at him and sighed. "i'm a vet tech," she said, but offered no other information.
"she especially loves the cats," you added.
"cats are great!" mat said a little too enthusiastically.
alexa drained the rest of her glass and got up, leaving the three of you behind.
the second she was gone, beau broke into laughter, slapping his own chest. "that was fucking hilarious," he said.
"yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up," mat grumbled, swirling his cup around instead of making eye contact with anyone.
"i'm serious, i don't think i've ever seen you fail so quickly. it's kind of amazing."
mat focused his eyes on you. "what did i do wrong? i tried asking about her life and she seemed wholly uninterested."
you shrugged. "i don't know! maybe she feels cornered?"
tito took a sip of his beer. "i think you need to workshop this. clearly, neither of you thought this through."
you groaned and rested your head on the table.
this was already harder than you anticipated.
step three: reevaluate and regroup
you met mat in a booth of a coffee shop after you got off work. he was staring at his phone when you walked in, completely unaware that you even existed.
which wasn't abnormal considering you didn't even think he knew who you were a few months ago. but the second the barista called your order out, his head whipped up.
you could've sworn time stopped at that moment.
you made your way towards him and plopped down in the booth opposite of him.
"hi," you smiled. "what's up?"
"i don't know what to do, she doesn't seem interested in me." he groaned into his hands before running one of them through his hair.
god he was so attractive.
you snapped out of your reverie. "listen, you've got what it takes, we just need to reevaluate our strategy. i think the bar thing was a bad idea, she felt ambushed and it probably set us back a little, but i have an idea."
he leaned his forearms on the table. "let's hear it."
"practice dates," you said.
mat blinked once. twice. a third time before he spoke. "practice dates?"
"okay hear me out," you said, pulling a notepad out of the bag you brought. "i have a list of things that alexa likes to do and i was thinking, you and i can do them and work on conversations and how to approach her. so when the time comes, you don't feel out of your element."
"who said i feel out of my element?"
you stared at him. "you said last night 'cats are great!' and expected conversation to flow naturally."
"okay so not my best moment."
"not even close." you sighed. "listen, i wanna help you, and i feel like this is your best bet in winning her over."
mat ran a hand down his face. "okay fine. what's the first date?"
practice date one: pumpkin patch
to be quite frank, you were nervous when proposing the idea, scared that he wouldn't be willing to sit in a car with you for three hours just to get to the pumpkin patch. and maybe he would find it childish.
when in fact, he said nothing about the long car ride, he even offered to pick you up from your apartment, and laughed when you offered to pay for gas. when you finally arrived, you jumped out of mat's car like an excited child. mat stepped out like he knew he was the romantic lead in a movie, suave and collected.
you two could not be more opposite of each other.
it took everything in you to focus on the task at hand, and not fall deeper in love with him. but how could you not? when he looked so boyfriend in a coat and flannel and beanie and jeans that hugged his thighs just right--
you were getting ahead of yourself. you were doing this for mat and alexa, not your own selfish ambition.
"so what's the plan?" he asked after locking his car with the key fob.
you shrugged. "what would you do if you were here with alexa?" the words tasted bitter in your mouth. it was such a painful reminder, knowing that this wasn't real and was in service to hook him up with your friend.
mat looked around and shoved his hands in his pockets. "corn maze?" he pointed. you must've made a face because he spoke up again. "what?"
"alexa hates corn mazes."
he paused. "to the pumpkin patch then?" you nodded and followed his lead. "so how did you meet alexa?"
"she was my first roommate in college, we shared the smallest dorm in history."
"that sounds like an exaggeration."
"says the man who never went to college."
he laughed. "i don't need a college education to identify a hyperbole when i hear one."
you gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. "a hyperbole? what a word."
"laugh it up," he said. "but i'm not a complete idiot, you know."
"never said you were. i just haven't heard anyone use hyperbole in a sentence outside of my english lit classes."
"well, you should know i'm full of surprises."
the two of you approached the pumpkin patch and started weaving between families and the occasional rogue toddler. mat had to tug you out of the way a few times when you about stepped on a child because you were gazing at pumpkins.
"if you don't mind me asking," mat started. "why are you helping me? you don't owe me anything. i feel like i'm taking advantage of your kindness."
you shrugged. "you wouldn't be the first one."
"what's that supposed to mean?" you looked up from the pumpkin patch to see mat's brows furrowed together and his mouth twisted in a cute frown.
"well, i mean, i've been told i have a habit of being a doormat at times."
"who said that?" his tone had changed to a softer one.
"huh?" you asked.
"who called you a doormat?"
you shrugged again, that seemed to be your go to move around him. you squatted down to look at a particularly fat pumpkin, inspecting all sides of it before you responded. "i've heard it all my life, some have said it in meaner ways, others have been nicer about it."
"i'm sorry," he said.
you stood to your full height which was still much shorter than mat's. "why? it's not like it's not true."
"what if i helped you?"
it was your turn to frown. "help me? with what? ice skating?"
mat rolled his eyes. "no, with confidence. maybe even get you a date."
you guffawed, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "what?"
mat pulled you out of the way of yet another child and kept his hand on your elbow until you were clear of the pumpkin roots. and if your heart stopped for a few seconds, that was your business, no one else's. "you heard me. you're young, single, and attractive and you spend all your free time at the office or DDing for your friends. we can work on your confidence and get you out there."
"i don't know..." though your mind was still focused on the fact that he'd called you attractive.
"what about that other photographer guy? tony?"
you cackled. straight up burst into laughter. "tyler? that's fucking hilarious mat."
"what?" the two of you continued down the patch, occasionally gazing at the pumpkins, but mostly just talking. "you two are always talking."
talking or being insulted?
you shook your head. "enough about me, we're here for alexa."
mat nudged you with his elbow. "actually we're here for me to win alexa over."
you kicked a small stone with the toe of your shoe and said nothing. the tragedy of your own personal situation wasn't lost on you, neither was the idiocy of your plan. what were you thinking, spending your free time with mat? to win over your friend?
it was textbook self inflicted torture.
"where'd you go?" mat nudged you again. "i lost you there for a second."
you bent down and picked up a smaller pumpkin. "what do you think about this one?"
"it looks fine. you're ignoring my question."
you juggled the pumpkin back and forth in your hands to determine if you liked it or not. "what question?" you looked up just in time to see mat roll his eyes, but he dropped the topic anyway.
the both of you walked over to the stall to pay for the pumpkin. you reached into your tote bag to grab your wallet, but mat was already holding out a five dollar bill to the vendor.
"you didn't have to--"
"do you wanna get some cider?"
you could've started drooling at the idea of drinking cider. "yes!"
mat chuckled and started walking towards the cider stand where a small family waited in front of you. "does alexa like cider?" he asked.
"what a random question."
"well you're not giving me anything to work with!"
you almost groaned. because he was right. you got caught up in the idea of hanging out with mat outside of work that you forgot the real reason both of you were there in the first place.
"she loves cider, especially when it's spiked. she also loves mulled wine." mat scrunched his face up. "not a fan?" you asked.
"warm wine? no thank you."
mat paid for the cider, going as far as having the cash ready before you could even order.
"you really don't have to keep buying things. i can pay!"
"oh this is all a bribe to get you to go through that corn maze with me."
your face dropped. "alexa doesn't like mazes."
"so i won't go with her next time, but you're here now and i wanna go."
you let him drag you along until you were in the thick of the maze. you let him guide the both of you through it like he knew what he was doing even though you were pretty sure you hit every possible dead end in the maze.
two little kids ran past giggling and smiling. "we found the end, mama!"
you almost laughed at the look of irritation on mat's face.
it took an obscene amount of time to get through the maze, and mat was in a much worse mood when it was all over.
needless to say, the ride home was quiet.
practice date 2: dinner at mat's
you weren't quite sure what mat was planning on making for dinner, but you were willing to bet the smell of smoke wasn't a part of the plan.
the scene when you walked into his apartment could only be described as chaotic. the smoke detector was going off and when you walked into the kitchen, mat was going between waving a towel under the detector and opening every window in his kitchen.
"you weren't supposed to be here yet!" he shouted over the noise before darting past you into the living room to open the windows in there.
you dropped your things on the counter and took over waving the towel under the smoke detector.
"what happened?" you asked.
"i suck at cooking!" he came back in the kitchen and took the towel from you. "i'm taller," he said like that was an explanation.
the beeping ceased and left the two of you in a hazy apartment. when you looked around the kitchen, you saw what had to be charred meat and veggies in a skillet.
"okay so when you cook dinner for alexa, don't. just hire a chef."
mat held up his phone. "or order pizza. you in?"
"do i get to financially contribute?"
he gestured to your belongings on the counter, one of which was a bottle of red wine. "you already did."
"you can't keep buying everything," you said. "it's not fair."
"why not? i'm the millionaire here, i'd look like a dick if i made you pay for anything. besides, when i date alexa, it's not like i'm gonna let my girlfriend pay."
girlfriend.
right.
that was the end goal for him.
you kept forgetting.
you cleared your throat and dusted your hands on your pants despite them being clean.
"you can go pick out a movie or something while i order the pizza?" mat suggested.
you had no choice but to nod and wander into his moderately decorated living room. it definitely still looked like a bachelor pad, but if a bachelor had enough money to hire someone to say he needed artwork, decorative pillows, and a couch that wasn't brown.
you were scrolling through netflix when mat came into the living room and plopped on the sectional beside you, shucking his shoes off. why he was wearing shoes in his own apartment was beyond you, but you weren't one to judge.
"you look nice," he commented, as if just noticing you for the first time that night.
you looked down at your own outfit. it was a pair of jeans and a nice blouse. "this?"
"are you wearing something else that i'm not seeing?" he teased.
before you could die of embarrassment, you switched subjects. "what do you want to watch? i haven't made a decision yet." you handed the remote to him, hating being the one to make the decisions.
he shifted on the couch so he was sitting up instead of lounging on the chaise and took the remote. "what's alexa's favorite movie?"
"birdbox."
mat did a double take. "she likes birdbox?"
you shrugged. "she's into suspense."
mat was about to select birdbox until he took one look on your face. you don't know what you looked like but it made him pause. "but are you?"
"why do you care what i like?"
"because you're here, alexa's not. i don't wanna make you watch something you'd hate." mat shifted on the couch. "why don't we work on those dating tips i talked to you about."
"oh i don't think--"
"why not?" he asked. "you're always so jittery whenever we talk about it."
oh.
was he referring to the other day after practice when he saw tyler tormenting you and mat misinterpreted that as flirty banter? mat had come up to you afterwards to give you pointers but you practically ran away.
"it's not that simple, mat."
"i think it is."
you threw your hands up. "well then, by all means you must be right."
"what's with the attitude?" he asked. "did i say something?"
it was a good question. one that shouldn't make you want to cry, but life felt overwhelming in all the worst ways. between tyler harassing you every second of every day and pretending like you weren't in love with mat so you could set him up with your friend, and taking photos for games and practices, you were exhausted.
"i'm not sober enough for this," you said before getting up and popping the cork on the wine bottle and drinking straight from it.
it was another thirty minutes before the pizza arrived and the both of you were well on your way to wine drunk, you more so than mat. who could blame you though? your life was a sad excuse for a single twenty-something and you were tired of thinking about it.
"truth is," mat started with a mouth full of pizza. "you just need to act like you're the best thing that's ever happened to this city. guys love confident women."
"and that's your biggest issue with alexa right now."
"wanna switch personalities?"
you laughed.
"what?" he asked. "what's so funny?"
"i'm trying to picture you without an ego and i don't think it's possible."
mat rolled his eyes but had a smile on his lips anyway. it shouldn't have made your heart pound the way it did, but you were weak for that man, you had been since day one.
so you switched courses.
"okay," you started. "how do i make get a guy to wanna date me?"
mats eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "you're serious?"
you nodded. "as a heart attack."
mat sat up on the couch and faced you. his eyes scanned your face like he was looking for something but couldn't find it. maybe he was looking for a reason to change the subject.
"alright," he said. "you gotta be confident, even if you don't feel like it. most guys don't mind a little insecurity, they find it kinda cute, but a guy who wants an insecure girl is a red flag."
"should i be taking notes or...?" you took a large sip of your wine and smiled when mat rolled his eyes again.
"secondly, you can't be hiding behind your camera all the time."
you guffawed. "i do not hide behind my camera!"
"oh give me a break, you totally do! you walk around like it's a safety blanket or something."
"because it is!"
"exactly my point! thirdly, chivalry isn't dead. if he's not doing basic things like opening doors, walking on the closest side to the street, and he's only talking about himself? run."
"what? he can't be a good person if he doesn't do those things?"
"if he can't do a basic kind gesture, he's not going to do larger ones. sorry. i don't make the rules."
you blinked. "but you kinda are making the rules for me, right now."
"you're such a smart ass, just like tito."
"is that a good or bad thing?"
mat shrugged and took another bite of pizza. "hard to say, i love tito most days."
love.
don't be an idiot and read into things.
"so," mat leaned back into the couch. "i gave you advice, it's my turn. how do i win over alexa?"
you thought back to the conversation you had with her a few weeks ago about mat. and one comment stuck out the most. "i think the biggest sin you committed was not knowing anything about me despite working together for two years," you admitted shyly.
mat's brows furrowed in that cute way they always did. "what do you mean?"
"she said she's not impressed by you being nice to kid fans or tipping waitstaff. she would be impressed if you knew anything about me because i'm not a hockey player."
mat recoiled as if physically struck by your words. "she thinks that low of you?"
"no she didn't mean to say you were--" you paused. "me? you think she has a low opinion of me?"
mat crossed his arms. "she just insinuated that you weren't important enough for me to know."
"no! that's not what she meant! she was saying that you think you're better than me."
"that's not even remotely true." and he said it so confidently, you almost believed him. "it's not, you know that right?"
you hesitated and you might as well have punched him in the gut.
mat said your name so softly like it was precious. like it was something special. "you have to know, i have never, not once, believed you were beneath me."
you gave him a small smile. "you don't need to explain yourself to me, mat."
he reached over and grabbed your hand, tugging on it lightly. "no. i need you to know, you are important to me."
your heart fluttered at his words, or maybe it was the fact that you were holding hands and you could feel the calluses rub against your own palm.
you could've stayed there forever.
"jesus fucking christ, why does it smell like something burned in here?" the front door opened and slammed sending you and mat sprawling apart like you hadn't been locked in a staring contest and holding hands. tito rounded the corner and crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face. "what do we have here?"
"nothing!" you squeaked out. "i was just leaving!"
"no you weren't," mat started, eyes wide with an emotion you couldn't place. "beau was just leaving."
you looked as confused as tito was. "what? no i'm not." you glanced back at mat who could not have looked more annoyed if he tried. "or i can...?"
"no!" you said. "i need to get going anyway. got work tomorrow, long day."
mat stood up when he realized there was no convincing you. "i can walk you out--"
"don't worry about it! i'm a big girl." you were leaving when you heard whisper shouting. you couldn't fully make out what they were saying, but before you shut the front door behind you, you could've sworn you heard them mention "liking her."
you did your best not to let the talking break your heart even more.
practice date 3: ice skating
you made mat pick out the last date but he hadn't told you what it was, just asked for your shoe size.
aside from that?
radio silence.
maybe you should've seen this coming. you'd talked to alexa a few days ago and she'd suggested that maybe you should put yourself out there more, find a date, find a boyfriend, find some happiness.
after practice, you found yourself scrolling through your camera roll in one of the seats in the arena when a pair of skates came into your peripheral. you looked up expecting to see a mop of black hair and hazel eyes.
but it was tito with a sheepish grin on his face.
"hey," he said.
you put your camera down and smiled. it was always good to see tito, with the exception of the other night. "hey, what can i do for you?"
anthony playfully rolled his eyes. "you don't live to serve us," he said. "i don't need anything, just wanted to say hi."
"hi!" you smiled even brighter.
"i was wondering, what're you doing friday night?"
you jaw dropped. and it must've been funny because tito threw his head back and laughed. "what?"
tito smiled at you and gestured towards you. "i was wondering if you'd want to get dinner with me on friday. i don't know what time you get off work, but i was thinking 6:30?"
you blinked. you blinked again. "are you serious?"
"why wouldn't i be? you're attractive, single, and i like your company. i think we'd have a fun time."
"okay," you smiled again. have you ever smiled this much in your life? you were unsure. "okay yeah, friday at 6:30 is perfect."
"great," tito grinned. "can i have your number?" you handed your phone over rather quickly, watching as he typed his number in and texted himself. "i'll see you," he said.
"bye tito!" you waved until he was out of sight. and even then, you continued to stare at the spot he was once occupying.
"what the hell was that about?"
you jumped about a foot in the air when tyler made his comment from over your shoulder. "jesus fucking christ, tyler." you placed a hand over your heart to feel how rapidly it was beating. "are you some sort of lurker?"
"what did beauvillier want with you?" he condescended.
"it's none of your business." you rolled your eyes when your phone buzzed.
mat barzal: come down to the locker room.
"who is that?" he asked, peering over your shoulder, but you stood up and started walking away.
the both of you headed down to the locker rooms, though you weren't really enjoying the company. tyler kept talking about your lackluster photography skills like the both of you didn't have the exact same job title.
you were rounding the corner when you saw mat leaning up against the wall, still in his hockey gear. tyler, being confronted with an audience, immediately departed. if you had to guess, he probably went back to his office to scheme how else to make your life miserable.
"hey," you said as you approached. "what's up?"
mat reached down and tossed a duffle bag at your feet. "open the bag," he directed.
you squatted and opened the zipper to see a pair of ice skates. you looked up at mat who looked pleased with himself. "what're these for?"
"you ever been ice skating?" he asked.
the short answer? no.
the long answer? once in second grade for a field trip.
"kinda?" you said instead.
mat laughed, like an actual laugh. there was a shiver that went down your spine at the very sound of it. "it's a yes or no question."
"i would say yes, but i was like eight."
"yeah, doesn't really count anymore. grab the bag, let's go." he walked off without a second thought, leaving you scrambling with the bag and rushing after him.
"what's the point of this?" you called after him.
"you told me to pick the last date, this is it!"
you stopped walking immediately. "mat, i don't know if this is a good idea..."
as if sensing your hesitation, mat turned around and walked back towards you. he rested his hands on your shoulders and squeezed lightly, ducking his head down towards yours. "i'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, i promise. you have nothing to be afraid of."
"what if my boss sees? what if lou sees? i'm a lot more replaceable than you are."
mat scoffed. "first of all, you're not replaceable. second of all, it's gonna be fine. i'll take all the heat if we get in trouble, which we won't because it's not a big deal." he reached down and grabbed your hand that wasn't holding the duffle bag. "now c'mon."
he led you out to the bench where you sat down and placed your camera on the bench. "take your shoes off and put these socks on." he tossed a pair of socks at your head that you barely caught in time.
"but i'm already wearing socks," you said.
"these are longer, unless you want the boot to cut into your ankle."
safe to say, you put the socks on.
mat knelt in front of you to help put the skates on, tying them up so they were secure on your feet.
you wanted to swoon at the sight of him before you. thankfully, he stood up and helped you to your feet before you could start imagining anything preposterous.
like him proposing.
you watched as mat slid over the top of the bench railing and onto the ice. he turned around and looked at you expectantly.
"oh hell no," you said. "where's the door, i'll use the door."
he cackled as you walked and opened the door, but skated to you anyway to give you some assistance when stepping onto the ice.
"easy does it," he said, chuckling when your grip was practically crushing his fingers. "you're okay, i'm not gonna let you fall."
"it's not you i don't trust, it's me."
mat kept a grip on your hands and led you out to the center of the ice. on the way to the center, you slipped twice, a squeak leaving your lips. you quickly latched onto mat who only laughed at your death grip on his forearms.
"it's not funny," you whined. "i'm terrified."
"you're right, it's not funny. but it is cute." he removed your hands from his arms and skated away from you. "okay, now come to me."
he was easily twenty feet away.
you glanced down at the ice and then back at mat. you would've sat down if you knew how to without eating it. "mat, i'm telling you right now, that's not gonna happen."
"it's not that hard."
"you've been skating since you were a child. i have not." you attempted to take a step forward, but thought differently of it. "besides, how does this help you with alexa?"
"easy," he said. "if i can teach you to skate, i can teach anyone."
"so your idea of a romantic date is a girl busting her ass over and over for an hour?"
"not quite," he said, skating circles around you.
literally.
"you're being an ass,' you whined. "why did the one practice date you pick out have to do with hockey?"
"because it's what i love. and if a girl can't hang with it, our relationship is doomed to fail."
you rolled your eyes. "that's a bit dramatic. you can appreciate and love hockey without having to ice skate. thousands of fans do it all the time."
"but my girlfriend won't be just a fan, now will she?"
your heart sank at the idea of alexa and mat in a similar situation. alexa actually trying to skate and looking beautiful while doing so. you pictured them laughing as she slipped and mat catching her before she could fall.
"you okay? i lost you again." mat skated right up to you, leaving maybe a foot of space between the two of you.
"yeah," you breathed. "just thinking."
mat smirked and skated backwards. "uh oh. that can't be good. less thinking more skating. would it help if i pushed you?"
"no!" you shrieked. "it definitely wouldn't!"
but it was too late. mat was skating up behind you and placing his hands on your waist. "relax," he murmured. "i'm not gonna push you without a little guidance."
relax?
relax?
when his hands were on your waist and he was mumbling in your ear?
how the hell was anyone supposed to live, laugh, love in these conditions?
mat added a little pressure to your back. and suddenly you were moving. "that's it," he praised. "now just move your feet."
it was easier with mat's hands on you, the sensation forcing you to focus on the warmth of his palms than the fact that you were skating on sharp knives.
"see? this isn't so bad, right?"
it wasn't too terribly bad, truth be told it was just like roller skating, just ten times scarier.
"yeah," you said. "not too bad."
"so you're ready to go by yourself?" his hands starting slipping away, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.
"i--"
but he was already skating away. he stopped about twenty feet away and smiled. "skate to me."
"mat--" your voice shook at the idea. skating with him was one thing, skating to him was another.
"hey," he said quietly. "eyes on me, okay? i'm not gonna let you fall, if i think you're gonna fall, i'll catch you. i was the fastest skater in 2020, remember?"
you nodded. "just like roller skating," you mumbled.
"except better," mat added.
you took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other, slowly but surely gliding towards him. you started picking up pace the closer you got to him.
"mat?"
"you're doing great!" he smiled.
"i don't know how to stop!"
mat laughed even as he caught you. his arms gripped your biceps and his smile was a mile wide. "you okay?" he asked.
you couldn't help but smile. "yeah," you breathed.
there was hardly any room between the two of you. your heart was beating wildly in your chest at the proximity, the rush of skating alone, who knew? you surely didn't.
you looked into his eyes and could've sworn his gaze dropped to your chin, but you were known for your hopeless romantic delusions, so maybe--
"hey!" whatever trance you were in ended when you saw a man in coveralls standing at the end of the rink. "time's up, i gotta clean the ice!"
"sorry!" mat called. "we'll get out of your way!" he gently took your hand in his and skated the both of you back to the benches.
mat helped you take off your skates and walked you back up the tunnel towards the locker rooms. the both of you stopped just outside of them, considering mat still had to shower and go home while you had the rest of the day to do your work.
"this was really fun," you said. "terrifying but fun."
"i'm glad you enjoyed it." his smile just about made you collapse into a puddle.
but you got a grip on reality and nodded. "well, i hope this helps with alexa, i'll try to talk to her in the next day or so, see where her head is."
mat's jaw clenched but he nodded. "i'll be seeing you."
"bye, mat."
you might as well have been on cloud nine by the time you got up to your office. you were in a different zone, focused on the way that mat's hands felt on your body, in your own hand. the feeling of euphoria wouldn't leave your body, you were sure of it. nothing could take that feeling away.
until you got to your desk and saw tyler.
who was sitting on your desk and using a paper clip to get the dirt out from under his nails.
"what were you and barzal doing?" tyler asked, moving off your desk, instead choosing to lean up against the cubicle.
you ignored him.
"i asked you a question," he said.
"i heard you, tyler. but i have work to do." you signed into your computer and plugged your camera in, ready to start uploading and editing photos from practice and the game yesterday.
âdo you really think sleeping your way through the roster will help you get your pics chosen for the social media accounts?â he sneered.
you froze, your fingers hovered over the keyboard. "what?"
"i said--"
"don't repeat it." another voice joined in and when you turned around to see who came in, you were flabbergasted.
mat.
"barzal i--"
"where do you get off talking to her like that? talking to anyone like that?" he stepped into the room, chest puffed out.
in all of your time working for the isles, mat had never been much of a fighter, but he looked ready to pummel tyler if need be.
"mat, it's fine," you mumbled.
"no, it's not. is this how he normally talks to you?"
you said nothing.
that only seemed to make mat angrier. "you need to go to HR about this. this is workplace harassment. now apologize," he directed at tyler.
"for what? speaking the truth? is this how you think you can get ahead in life?" tyler said to you. "first beauvillier now barzal?"
you and mat both froze. in the corner of your eye you could see his jaw clench before he looked at you.
"can you do your work from home?" he asked.
you nodded. "i just have a shit ton of editing but i can do that on my laptop--"
"great. i'll take you home."
"but my boss-"
"if anyone has a problem with it, they can talk to me. let's go." mat was spinning on his heel and walking out of the room as quickly as he came in. you were unplugging your camera and logging off your computer, packing up your things, before sprinting after him.
"mat! mat, wait up!"
he stopped walking and looked at you, an unfamiliar expression in his eyes. "can you wait for me outside the locker room? i still have to shower and change."
you nodded. "why did you come upstairs anyway?"
"to give you the skates." you glanced down at his empty hands. "i forgot the bag, and by that point, i was too lazy to go down and get them without you."
the both of you continued your walk until you got to the locker room.
"i'll be a few minutes and then i'll take you home."
true to his word, mat was only gone for ten minutes before coming out freshly showered and ready to go home. neither of you spoke until he was pulling the car out of the parking garage.
"what did tyler mean when he mentioned tito?" mat asked after moments of silence. his fists were gripping the wheel tightly, though you didn't know why.
"tito asked me to dinner on friday."
mat's fists tightened their grip on the wheel and his jaw clenched so hard, you were afraid he was going to chip some teeth.
"oh." was all he said.
"something wrong? i just figured for once i wouldn't be hiding behind my camera like you said and i thought it would be fun, you know? we get along fine. why? do you think i shouldn't go?"
"no!" mat said quickly. "no, i just, it just caught me by surprise is all. i'm sure you'll have fun."
"and i can give you alexa's number if you want to ask her out! she's coming over tonight so i can talk you up now that i know more about you, make it seem more genuine."
"yeah," he choked out. "yeah, that would be great."
mat pulled up to your apartment a few minutes later and watched as you got out. "i meant what i said in your office," he said. "you need to tell HR about tyler's behavior."
"i will." you probably wouldn't. "thanks, mat."
he nodded as you shut the door and waited for you to go inside before driving off.
you walked up the stairs to your apartment and unlocked the door. as you shut the door behind you, you felt the weight of today bearing down.
tito asking you out.
the moments with mat.
the slut shaming comment from tyler.
when did your life get so dramatic?
step 4: get her to say yes
you had alexa over that night, armed with a million reasons why she should say yes to mat.
and the one reason why she should say no was locked deep in your chest. your happiness and affection for him shouldn't deter her.
besides, you would eventually get over your silly little crush, right?
right?
"so what's new in your world? i feel like you've been so busy lately. it's kind of strange," alexa said before shoveling a forkful of pasta in her mouth. it should've been disgusting, but she made it look graceful.
"oh you know, just working."
"is that why you were in the middle of nowhere a few weeks ago? work?"
"what?"
"i checked your location, you were on a farm. didn't realize the isles was doing photoshoots that far out of the city."
"oh they're not," you explained. "i was with mat, we were just hanging out."
alexa blinked. "since when do you and mat hang out?"
ouch.
but true.
you couldn't come out and say it could you? that the reason the two of you started interacting was because he wanted to date alexa?
no, you couldn't.
so you lied.
"oh, the social media team wanted me to get some information on mat, like a get to know you segment. they wanted something outside of work, so we were just hanging out so i could write this article on him."
a complete lie. you haven't had to write anything on anyone since your college journalism class. but alexa didn't know that. you never told her what you do all day for work. for all she knew, you could be running the tiktok account.
alexa raised an eyebrow. "and how did that go? was he talking about himself the entire time?"
"no!" you said. but then you paused, realizing that getting defensive would just look suspicious. "he told me a lot about how he doesn't like mulled wine and loves corn mazes despite being absolutely shitty at them. he loves his friends and hockey, obviously. he refuses to let anyone pay for anything while you're with him because he has money and likes to treat people. and he sticks up for the people that are important to him. and once you're in with him, you don't have to worry about your place in his life or how important you are because he will keep reminding you."
alexa stared at you. "are you sure you don't want to go out with him?"
you guffawed and hoped that it covered up your embarrassment. "what? no! he's clearly into you, and i think you should go for it."
"give me one good reason why."
"because he's kind, and nothing like your ex. he cares, legitimately cares about people and their lives." you sighed, not sure if you were convincing her. âitâs just one date, lex. if you donât like him at least you got a free meal.â
alexa chewed her lip, letting you anguish in silence. "fine. you can give him my number and we'll set up a date. i trust you."
"fantastic!" you were already pulling your phone out. "he'll be so excited--"
"only if you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't have feelings for him."
you opened and closed your mouth. "i don't have feelings for him," you said with as much confidence as you could.
"honey..."
"no! i don't! if i had feelings for him, would i be going out to dinner with his best friend on friday?"
alexa didn't look fully convinced, but your date with tito was a welcomed distraction as she started rattling off questions about what you would wear and where he was taking you.
alexa left two hours later, meaning you could go to bed at a reasonable hour. as you laid in bed, you grabbed your phone and opened mat's contact, drafting a text to him.
here's alexa's number. managed to convince her you were worth a shot. xxx-xxx-xxxx.
you locked your phone and put it on do not disturb before you could see his response.
when you woke up the next morning, you saw mat had simply liked the message and left it at that.
by noon, alexa texted you that her date with mat was on saturday.
step 5: let the dates begin
friday came faster than you were anticipating. you kept your distance from mat, unable to look at him without thinking about how he was taking your friend out the very next day and that your interactions from that point on would probably be through alexa.
tyler kept his distance, must've been the threat of going to HR (that you still hadn't gone through with) that had him treating you like a human being with feelings.
as for tito, you probably should've been more excited for your date that night, but all you could focus on was how mat and alexa would fall in love and get married and have beautiful babies and grow old together.
and you would be the sucker who set them up because you could never tell mat no.
a slam against the boards startled you enough to look up from your camera to see tito standing there with a smile on his face.
"you okay?" he asked over the sounds of his teammates on the ice.
you gave him what you hoped was a convincing smile and nodded. but he rolled his eyes.
"we'll talk later," he said before skating away. you smiled and waved at him before you made eye contact with mat who was clenching his jaw. at what? you weren't sure. you even turned around to see if tyler had entered the arena, but you were standing alone.
like you always were.
you were headed back to your desk to do some editing as practice let out, but your name was called before you could get away.
when you looked over your shoulder, you saw tito doing an awkward half jog half walk towards you with a tired grin on his face. "hey," he said. "how do you think practice went?"
you turned to face him fully. "you're asking me? a professional asking some photographer how practice went?"
tito rolled his eyes. "oh c'mon. you've seen our practices, by now you should be able to determine whether or not it was a good one."
"well, no one fought each other, so i guess that's a win."
tito shook his head. "nah, that's when the best practices happen. when everyone's pissed at each other."
you smiled. "shows what i know."
"i think you know more than you think. you've worked here for awhile now."
"i've just gotten better at motion capture photography and following the puck around the ice. doesn't mean i know shit about hockey."
"don't think we don't notice you getting riled up during games when calls are missed."
you tilted your head and furrowed your brows. "we?"
tito shrugged and laughed to himself. "mat usually points it out before i can." you must've made a face because he added more. "it's usually on the bench, he's focused on the game when he's playing."
the both of you turn your heads at the other players walking down the tunnel. when the both of you caught sight of mat, tito smiled.
"will you send me your address? so i can pick you up?"
your attention snapped back to tito. "yeah! of course!"
he nodded and started his walk towards the locker rooms right when mat walked up to you. "what was that about?" he asked.
you shrugged. "just going over details for tonight. he needs my address to pick me up."
mat clenched his jaw again and looked down the tunnel, nodding his head. "that's tonight?"
"yep. at 6:30."
he wouldn't meet your eyes. instead, he looked at your shoes, your camera, the hallway, his teammates, but would never look at your face.
"you and alexa go out tomorrow, right? where are you taking her?"
he ran a hand through his hair and nodded at anders as he passed by. "yeah, we're going out to this sushi place. did you ever talk to HR?"
"well no but--"
"do i need to talk to HR?"
"he really hasn't been that bad lately--"
"because i threatened to tell HR on his ass. he's gonna get comfortable and start insulting you again. it's just a matter of time."
you nodded, feeling a lump in your throat form at the idea of mat scolding you, in front of his teammates no less.
mat sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. "i'm not trying to fuss or tell you what to do, i just don't like seeing you treated like that."
"thanks, mat," you mumbled.
he still wouldn't meet your eyes, instead looking down the hallway to see most of his team in the locker room. "i gotta go, but um, good luck tonight. beau's a good guy."
with that he turned on his skates and walked away.
you felt every bit of pathetic as you watched him go.
that night, you settled on a pretty dress that wasn't too fancy, seeing as the only details tito had given you were that it was nicer than an olive garden but not a michelin star restaurant. you were strapping yourself into your heels when you heard a knock on the door.
your phone said it was only 6:15, but maybe tito was accounting for traffic. he never did specify when the reservation was.
"coming!" you called as you put your last heel on and made your way to the door. "i wasn't expecting you this early, you never told me when the reservation was--" your voice trailed off when you opened the door and saw who was standing on the other side.
mat.
he looked more disheveled than you'd ever seen him. it was clear he'd been running his hands through his hair repeatedly just by the strands sticking out every which way.
he still looked handsome.
"mat, what're you--"
"i think you're beautiful. and smart. and passionate about a lot of things. and i think anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot, and i'd fight them if you'd let me." your eyes started welling up with tears. "i think you're perfect for me and if you'd let me take you out, i promise i'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you."
you blinked until the tears disappeared by sheer willpower, not willing to cry in front of him. "that's perfect," you said. "say that to lex and she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand."
you turned around to grab your bag and coat before you could see mat's face drop in confusion. by the time you turned back around, anthony was standing next to his best friend.
"you ready?" he asked, only glancing at mat out of the side of his eye.
you nodded and squeezed mat's arm as you passed; you couldn't help yourself. "get home safe, mat."
neither you or tito spoke until you got into his car. "what was that about?" he asked.
you shrugged. still not fully comprehending why mat showed up at your door in the first place. "he was telling me what he was gonna tell lex tomorrow, i think."
"really." he didn't sound convinced.
"why else would he show up?"
tito mumbled. "i can think of a few reasons."
after he parked the car, tito got out and opened the door for you while you were answering texts from alexa. he offered you a hand to get out that you took.
there were no sparks, no electric sensations going up your arm. just physical contact, just the warmth of his palm in yours.
he led you into the restaurant which was moderately fancy, like he said. the two of you were escorted back to a table in the corner, away from windows and therefore away from prying eyes.
like a gentleman, he pulled your chair out and helped you scooch up to the table.
"i can't remember if i told you this, but you look lovely," he said with a smile.
"thanks," you replied. "you look handsome." and you meant it. if you weren't in love with his best friend, in another life, you could see yourself falling for his blue eyes. and maybe you still could. mat was going on a date with your friend tomorrow so it was better that you just get over him already and--
"so how long have you been in love with mat?"
you choked on your own spit, and for a minute, tito looked apologetic. for his timing, you had to guess, not the question itself.
surely you heard him wrong.
"what?" you asked when you finally got your bearings.
"how long have you loved him?"
nope. you heard him correctly.
"i--"
he leaned forward, arms braced on the table. "you don't have to lie to me, i know. i've known for awhile."
"i--"
but the server came up and asked for drink orders. tito ordered a bottle of red for the table after asking for your thoughts.
you were still reeling from his question, safe to say you didn't have any thoughts.
"sorry," tito started. "i didn't mean to make you feel cornered, i just wanted to be honest."
"it doesn't look like you're the only who needs to be honest, it's me." you fiddled with the ends of your dress.
"why'd you do it? why'd you help set mat up with your friend?"
you shrugged. "i just wanted to see him happy. and i wanted alexa to find a good guy, i knew mat was one. they make sense together."
"even if it makes you unhappy."
"even if it makes me unhappy."
tito nodded, and looked at you like he could see something you couldn't. "let's forget about him for now and just enjoy dinner, eh?"
you gave him your best smile and nodded.
the rest of the night flew by. soon enough, tito was walking you up to your apartment and kissing your cheek before he left. you wished you felt butterflies, or something, but there was no special sensation. nothing to make you weak in the knees.
it was like a kiss from an old friend.
your phone buzzed with a text from alexa.
alexa: how'd your date go?
you typed out a quick response.
it was good. just got home.
you locked your phone and placed it on your nightstand before collapsing into bed. but your phone buzzed again. you thought about ignoring it, but if it was alexa, you didn't want her to think you were upset at her.
mat barzal: did you have fun?
you blinked before typing back.
yeah. tito's great.
not a second later, you got another text.
mat barzal: good. have a good night.
you fell back against your pillows and cursed at the ceiling.
step 6: let them fall in love
you woke up the next morning and stayed in bed until your bladder was about to burst. after the date with tito and the reminder that mat was going out with alexa tonight, it was all enough to put you back in bed as soon as you peed.
and you stayed there, flicking through netflix shows and wallowing in self pity. you usually weren't this pathetic, but the idea of alexa and mat getting cozy on their date that night was enough to warrant your sadness.
you'd pull yourself together by monday when you'd have to go back to work and see how happy she made him.
that's what you kept telling yourself, that at the very least, two of your friends would be happy.
by 7pm, you were sitting on the couch, waiting for takeout to arrive.
when a knock on the door signified your food arrived, you got up with your blanket burrito and walked to the door. you didn't even bother checking before yanking the door open and looking down at your doormat.
only to see a pair of shoes.
"what the hell," you mumbled. "i thought i said leave at the door...' your voice trailed off as your eyes lifted to meet a pair of hazel.
mat barzal.
he had your food in one hand while the other was in his pocket.
"mat?" you whispered. suddenly, you were throwing the blankets off your shoulders and behind you into your apartment where they'd be out of sight.
though it was then you realized you were in sweats and you hadn't done anything with your hair all day so you were probably better off with the blanket burrito instead.
"hi," he breathed. "here's your food." he handed it over, nodding when you murmured your thanks, and shoved his other hand through his hair.
you glanced at the time on the clock on your wall to make sure you weren't hallucinating. "why're you here, mat? shouldn't you be with alexa?"
"that's what i wanted to talk to you about, actually."
"oh no," you started panicking, your eyes widened. "did she not show up?" you turned back into your apartment and went to your phone, searching for texts from alexa to explain her absence. "i swear i thought she'd show. she told me she would and she's usually a woman of her word."
you turned around when your front door shut with mat standing in the middle of your living room, looking out of place and right at home somehow.
your phone was vacant of any text messages from alexa.
"no, she showed. i left early."
that caught your attention.
you set your food on the coffee table and turned around to face him.
"why did you leave early? was she rude? are you sick?"
mat shook his head. "no, i'm fine, she was fine. that's not why i'm here. i mean it is but that's--that's--i want, no i need to tell you something."
"tell me what?"
he rolled his eyes. "i'm getting to that." he started pacing your very small living room. you wondered if he knew how much space he took up in your apartment. you wondered if he cared how messy your place was. "i'm just gonna come right out and say it, and don't interrupt me this time." you nodded.
mat ran both hands through his hair for the twentieth time since he showed up. "when i said all those things last night, i wasn't talking about alexa. i was talking about you."
what.
but he continued.
"i'm not gonna pretend i've loved you this whole time, but i fell in love with you along the way. the way you kept analyzing every fucking pumpkin for the perfect one, or how you bring red wine to dinner unprompted because you can't not contribute to something, or the way you trusted me enough to take you on the ice and show you something i love, or how you laugh like no one has ever said something mean to you in your life even when i know that jackass tyler harasses you on the daily. you're kind to literally every person i've ever seen you interact with.
"but i hate the way you shrink yourself like you're afraid to take up space. i hate the way you act like alexa's better than you, like i couldn't fall in love with you when you're literally the most generous, kindest, passionate, and beautiful person i've ever met in my life. because i do love you. every fiber of my being loves you."
you blinked once. twice. and breathed.
"what?" you whispered as tears gathered in the corners of your eyes.
"i know you just went out with tito last night, and if you like him, if you love him, i get it. he's a great guy and you'd be great together. but i'm asking you to give me a chance, give us a chance. i've had fun with you the last few weeks and i cannot bear the thought of not calling you mine any longer." his chest was heaving as the words rushed out of his mouth.
you rounded the coffee table to get to him. as soon as you were in arms' reach, mat was pulling you to him. with your hips pressed together, your lips just a breath away, you spoke softly.
"please tell me this isn't a dream."
a small laugh escaped his lips and echoed over your own. "it's not a dream, baby. this is real. i love you so fucking much."
"i love you too, mat."
any words you had left to say were lost as he brought your mouths together.
you weren't sure how much time had passed before you separated from him with your hands pressed on his chest. mat tried to follow your lips, but you kept a firm hand on his sternum so you could speak.
"what about alexa?"
mat pulled back. "what about her?"
"you were on a date with her and just left her there?"
"i more than covered the tab if that's what you're afraid of--"
"what if she hates me?"
he laughed. like threw his head back and laughed before kissing you again. "baby, we were there for fifteen minutes and all i could talk about was you. she told me to come here and tell you the truth."
you smiled. "thank god for alexa."
"thank god for alexa."
mat led the two of you over to the couch where you immediately curled into him. he kissed the top of your head, seemingly addicted to having his lips on your body at all times. "you're fired, you know."
you would've pulled away had mat's grip allowed it. "what? fired from what?"
"the wing woman business. you're absolutely horrible at it."
"yeah, well i think it worked out pretty well."
he pressed his lips into your hair and mumbled. "yeah, i think so too."
Okay but seriously, I've only binge watched the first 6 seasons of criminal minds, so I'm probably a bit off with character personalities.
This turned into mostly the team finding out, so if anyone wants a part 2 with more scenes pre-reveal I'd love to write it!
masterlist coming soon
Word Count: 3k
CW// brief mention of kidnapping case, use of y/n (i'm sorry), not beta'd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
âWhen was the last time you saw Hotch leave before the rest of us?â
The most recent case had been a relatively short one, allowing the team to get back to Quantico reasonably early. A young man caught kidnapping local women, caught easily when he appeared on CCTV taking his latest victim. Three women, three days. All had minor injuries, but all were alive. It had been the ideal end to the case and no loss of life meant the paperwork was minimal.
Emilyâs voice caught the attention of Derek, who followed her gaze to the elevator, where the Unit Chief stood waiting. He raised his eyebrows, trying to think back on the last few months of late nights, week-long cases and multiple middle of the night calls.
âNot since before his divorce,â Spencer piped up helpfully from behind his desk, packing away the days half-finished reports and case notes before he too looked up. âHey, has anyone seen y/l/n? They mentioned going for food on the jet, and I know this really nice Indian restaurant not far from here, I was going to suggest we all go.â
Now that Emily thought about it, she hadnât seen you after youâd gone to Hotchâs office to drop off your report. Barely five minutes later, Hotch had made a beeline for the elevator, leaving unusually early compared to normal, and then you too had disappeared.
âHoly shit.â The dots were connecting in her head. âTheyâre totally hooking up!â
This gathered the full attention of everyone in the room.
âWhoâs hooking up?â Penelope had her bag in hand as she peeked in the door, drawn to the gossip like a moth to a flame.
âY/l/n and Hotch!â
âOh my god!â Penelope was quick to rush over to the group now huddled around Emilyâs desk.
âNo way,â Derek was shaking his head, arms crossed over his chest. Theyâd been working as a team for years, thereâs no way you and Hotch were in a secret relationship, and no one had noticed. âCome on, you really think they could have hidden something like that from us?â
Spencer shrugged, joining the conversation fully. âHotch hid the fact that Emily was alive from all of us for months, so a secret relationship wouldnât be that hard for him.â Emily grimaced at the comparison, searching for any hint of bitterness in his tone, though found none. He had been hurt that they hadnât trusted him to know the secret, but that hurt had faded over the couple years since Emily had returned. He offered her an apologetic smile, as if only realising what heâd said.
âWant to make this more interesting?â Quick to bring the conversation back to inane office gossip, Emily reached into her bag to pull out her purse. â100 dollars theyâre doing it.â
âOh, youâre on. 100 theyâre not.â Derek placed two fifties on top of Emilyâs two. Another two went down, and they both looked up to see Spencer sheepishly tucking his wallet back into his pocket.
âI think theyâve been dating for a couple weeks now, I assumed everyone else had noticed.â
Quickly, Penelope had joined, and much to everyoneâs surprise, so did Rossi. Penelope thought theyâd just started dating, and Rossi thought it had been at least six months. JJ scooped up the cash, promising to be a neutral party to assure the winner got the whole lot. Plus, when this inevitably went wrong, she did not want to be involved in the fallout.
âOkay, but how do we get them to admit-â
âOr not admit,â Derek cut in.
âOr not admit, whatâs going on?â Emily mused. Everyoneâs eyes instantly went to Penelope.
âOh no, no, no-â
Penelopeâs office felt quite cramped with some many people in it, the space only meant to house one technical analyst, not one technical analyst and five nosey special agents. Five nosey agents who were all huddled around Penelope to peer at the screen over her shoulders.
âOh it does not feel right tracking their phones like this,â Penelopeâs fingers danced across the keys as she brought up both locations, âMy powers should only be used for good, not- not snooping on our friends personal lives!â Still, she let the trace run its course, displaying the address for the others to see.
âThatâs Hotchâs apartment.â Spencer recognised the address immediately. Two little dots blinked on the screen, Hotchâs address hovering above them.
âSo theyâre together, that doesnât mean theyâre hooking up.â Derek knew his argument was weak, but hell he had 100 dollars riding on it.
âOh come on, they sneak out and go to Hotchâs apartment and you think theyâre what, making cookies?â
âKids, stop fighting,â Dave put a hand on both Derek and Emilyâs shoulders. âWhy donât you just phone y/l/n, invite them for food, see what happens.â
âYou think theyâd lie to us?â Spencer asked, as Penelope pulled out her phone and dialled your number.
âTheyâve been lying to us about this for weeks, if youâre bet is right anyway,â Emily nudged him with her elbow. He nudged her back.
âTechnically itâs an omission not a lie, since none of us directly asked if theyâre-â
âShhh its ringing!â The room fell to silence as Penelope put her phone to her ear.
~
Even though it had been a short case, you had been looking forward to getting back. And by how quickly Aaron had offered up his apartment for a movie night, he had been too. It was important to keep a clear line between boss and boyfriend while in the field, and it was only professional to stay in separate rooms during cases, so it felt good to have Aaron back in boyfriend mode, with comforting touches and quality time away from the office, away from the titles and roles that accompanied your positions at the BAU.
You had finished your report in record time. It was pure luck that everyone was too caught up in their own work to notice you slipping away. After dropping your report on Aaronâs desk, you had made a quick exit, waiting by Aaronâs car until he joined you in the car park. It had become routine to leave short gaps between your arrivals and exits, allowing the illusion that you had travelled separately, from different apartments, in different cars. It was a short ride back to his apartment.
You had only just settled back against Aaronâs side, a bowl of popcorn perched between your thighs when your phone buzzed.
âHey beautiful, whereâd you run off to?â Penelopeâs sweet voice rang out from the other end of the line, âWeâre going for food, you coming with?â
You glanced sideways at Aaron, who kept his eyes on the TV, though you knew he was listening in by the way his arm tensed around you. You gently squeezed the arm closest to you, relaxing further into his hold so he knew you werenât planning on leaving.
âSorry Pen, not tonight, Iâm, uh, not feeling great after todayâs caseâŠâ You trailed off, hoping sheâd accept the excuse and youâd be home free. You shouldâve known it wouldnât be as simple as that. There was pause, and you couldâve sworn you could hear hushed conversation. Mustâve been the rest of the team packing up to leave. You felt almost guilty that they were still at the office, when youâd left as soon as your own report was done.
âOh honey!â Her voice was laced with sympathy, âThatâs it, weâll bring the food to you! Nothing like good food and company to cheer up the soul!â Your head fell back against Aaronâs chest with more force than necessary. Curse her and her kindness.
âNo, no itâs okay, really-â You tried to prevent your voice from giving away your panic, âNo need to go out of your way! Tell the guys I said enjoy!â
âIts not out of our way at all! See you in twenty, gorgeous.â The line went dead before you had a chance to respond. You could feel the vibrations of Aaronâs quiet laugh behind you, tilting your head back to look up at him.
âYou think this funny?â Your words were pointed, but the smile on your lips gave away your hidden amusement. In lieu of an answer, he leaned down to pepper kisses along your shoulder, the side of your neck, anywhere he could reach. You savoured the warmth of his lips against your skin, a soft moan escaping your parted lips as the kisses became more heated. Tilting your head back to give him easier access, you let out a disappointed whine when he instead detached from you, gently pushing you up until you were sitting straight.
âTheyâre going to be at your apartment soon,â He reminded you, giving your arm a squeeze before moving to stand. Your cheeks were flushed red, taking a few steadying breaths as he took the popcorn from your lap, placing it on the coffee table, before holding his hands out to you. Shooting him a mock glare, you resigned yourself to getting off the comfortable couch and getting your shoes on. As much as you loved your co-workers, so much that they were practically family, you really did not want to spend the evening with them, not when you could be curled up on the couch with Aaron, pretending the outside world didnât exist.
âShit,â You nearly tripped over your untied laces in your hurry to turn, âMy carâs still at the office, Aaron I donât have time to get back there, get my car AND-â Your words were halted by the soft press of his lips on yours. Clearly, you werenât the only one wishing you could stay. Melting against him, your hands found purchase on the solid expanse of his shoulders, fingers digging into the soft material of his t-shirt. He pulled back, just far enough so he could press his forehead against yours.
âIâll drive,â His voice was quiet in the minimal space between you, âTell them your car broke down and I offered you a lift home.â You just hummed your agreement, too caught up in his closeness to really be paying full attention. Overwhelming warmth encompassed you as you breathed in the faint smell of his cologne, trying to catalogue the feeling in your mind as your panic disappeared with the gentlest of touches.
âOr,â You offered mildly, blinking up at him through your lashes, âWe could just turn our phones off, lock the door, and deal with all of this tomorrow?â Soft open-mouthed kisses were pressed to the column of his throat in between your words, hands climbing to wrap around the back of his neck. Your fingertips teased the baby hairs at the base of his skull. You knew he wouldnât take you up on the offer, even when his hands gripped at your waist, pulling you flush against him as he once again claimed your lips with his.
 It had been a tough decision, keeping the relationship from your team, but you had both ultimately decided that it was for the best, at least while things were still new. Then, six weeks had turned into six months, and six months into nearly a year. It was becoming harder and harder to keep a secret, and you nearly wanted the team to catch on. Youâd met Jessica, and had a proper introduction to Jack, even going so far as to have gone to a few of his soccer practices at Jackâs insistence. You had been slowly moving your stuff into his room, small things like toiletries, pyjamas and a few spare work outfits. You spent more time at Aaronâs apartment than your own. You loved it. What you didnât love, was having to hide it all from your friends.
âWe really should go,â Aaron murmured against your lips, âAt least youâll get free food out of this.â
You laughed softly at that, pressing one last kiss to his lips before pulling back, cheeks dusted pink. âIâd rather have you.â A rare boyish grin was your only response, before he turned to grab his keys and you quickly tied your laces. You were soon on the familiar road home.
 ~
They didnât wait around to see if you were rushing from Hotchâs apartment, instead piling into the back of Derekâs car haphazardly. All but JJ, who had familial responsibilities, and Rossi who just wanted to go home, managed to fit into one SUV. If Rossi had been with them to take some of the blame, Derek mightâve even thrown on the sirens and lights. Instead, he skipped through a few orange lights, and just barely stuck to the speed limits. When they arrived at the Indian restaurant, Spencer was sent to pick up the order, being deemed least likely to do something stupid like flash his badge for quicker service. Emily followed him inside to help carry it all back to the car. Even without the badge, they managed to make it in and out in under ten minutes. Luck was on their side, getting them to your apartment just 25 minutes after Penelope had hung up on you.
When they came to a stop outside your apartment complex, your car wasnât parked in its normal spot, and they had a moment of celebration before Spencer realised the light was on inside. A light that meant you had beat them.
They all had to hide their disappointment when you greeted them at the door, not showing any sign of having rushed from one apartment to the other. Being one of the closer apartments to the office, yours was often used as a base for nights out, girlâs nights, and team movie-nights. It was the teamâs apartment more than it had ever been just yours. Moving seamlessly through your kitchen grabbing plates, cutlery and glasses, Emily and Penelope set to organising the food, while Spencer and Derek moved your coffee table to the centre of the room so everyone could sit around it. It warmed you to know they felt at home here.
âIâll have to get someone to look at it tomorrow,â You sounded morose enough that Emily almost believed your âcar troubleâ story. She just hummed her commiserations before stealing some chicken from your Jalfrezi. As much as sheâd hoped to catch you and Hotch in your lie â or omission as Spencer would remind her â she enjoyed spending time with you, and this had been the perfect excuse for a team night.
âHotch didnât stick around after dropping you off?â Emily asked casually, scooping up a mouthful of curry with the edge of a poppadom. If you noticed the groups sudden interest in your conversation you didnât show it. You shook your head, pushing the thought of his hands on your waist and his lips on your skin, out of your mind.
âHe was just being nice, he probably has better things to be doing after a case than hanging out here.â
Derek had to hide his laugh with a cough. You frowned at him, but before you could question it, Emily dragged you back into a conversation about Sergio and how he stole her bagel the other day. She glared at Derek when you werenât looking. Conversation flowed easily after that, and it wasnât long before everyone was on their second helping of food and the booze cupboard had been ransacked.
âHey babygirl, you seeing what Iâm seeing?â Derek had just sat back down with his second full plate when he spotted it; the start of your downfall. He nudged Penelope, nodding his head toward you. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before rising nearly to her hairline. A sharp âoh my godâ left her lips, before she covered her mouth. Just beneath the edge of your oversized t-shirt, a small red mark was blooming on your skin. It looked suspiciously like a hickey. A very, very new one at that. Penelopeâs little outburst was quickly noted by Emily, who paused mid-conversation to notice what they had. Her shit-eating grin matched Derekâs perfectly. Â Â
âWhat?â You frowned at her, quickly glancing at Spencer opposite you. He shrugged, offering no help.
âMaybe Hotch stuck around for a little while after all?â There was a teasing lilt to her tone as she reached out to tug your collar a little lower. You could feel heat rising up your neck into your cheeks, a beautiful shade of crimson. Covering the offending mark with your hand, you tried to come up with an excuse. Nothing came. Opening your mouth and then closing it a few times, you tried to look anywhere but at your friends. You were caught and you knew it. They knew it too.
âIs there any point in me saying I burnt myself?â You tried for a smile, but it turned out more like a grimace.
âNope.â Emily said, popping the âpâ.
âAaron and I, we, uhâŠâ You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, your blush darkening, as Penelope mouthed âAaron!â at Emily, who practically giggled. You were going to have to restock your alcohol cupboard before they came round again. You took a breath, glancing around the room. All eyes were on you.
 âWeâre dating.â
There was an immediate outburst of âoh my god!âs and âI knew it!âs. You had expected to feel awful when your secret was finally out in the open, but all you could feel was relief. Well, and a tinge of embarrassment. Warmth bubbled in your chest, looking around the room at your team, your family, knowing you didnât have to hide it from them anymore.
âWhat ya thinking about over there?â Emily nudged your arm, a small tendril of guilt creeping through her. Youâd obviously wanted to spend your evening with Hotch, and instead theyâd dragged you away in a hurry, all just to invade your privacy. A small grin broke through your façade.
âIâm thinking, seeing as itâs not a secret anymore, I can leave you losers and go back to spending the night with my boyfriend.â A chorus of cheers followed your words, and someone (you suspected Emily) shouted âGo get some, girl!â.
Spencer wrinkled his nose at that. âGross, remember thatâs Hotch weâre taking about, heâs pretty much our work dad.â His words caused a laugh to bubble in your chest, and you leaned over Emily to plant a big kiss on his cheek.
âGuess that makes me your new work-mom!â He made a big show of wiping your kiss from his cheek, but the small smile that followed gave away his charade.
âWhat are you waiting for beautiful? Your man is waiting for you!â Your wide grin echoed Penelopeâs as she ushered you up and out of the living room. Your overnight gear was already at Aaronâs, so all you needed was your shoes and phone. You felt almost giddy as you threw the spare key to Spencer.
âDonât stay up too late kiddos!â
âHey, hold on a second,â You glanced at Derek, who had started stacking plates to take to the kitchen, âHow long has this been going on?â
âOh⊠Yâknow, only about 11⊠months.â You shot them an abashed smile, before darting for the door as all hell broke loose.
âYou didnât win the bet either!â Emily and Derekâs argument floated out the door with you, and you couldnât help but laugh. Of course they had bet on it. You didnât have it in you to care, instead shutting the door with a sound click. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you dialled Aaronâs number.
âHey handsome,â You couldnât help the smile that carried through in your words, âYou want to finish that movie?â
Fake dating your friend, Bradley Bradshaw - what could possibly go wrong? Your sister is getting married and you need a date. You enlist Bradley's help and the rest is history.
Love Epiphany: when a character realizes they are in love with another character. This is not when the character confesses this love to that other character or anyone else, but when the character realizes it themselves. Often this can be when a character had feelings already and realized this has blossomed into love, or when a character has been in denial about these feelings until this moment.
Premise:Â To your dismay, an Italian reunion with Harry seems impossible to avoid, and it's time to start facing the music- after all, it seems you are the one who can't stay away.
Word Count:Â 9.7k
Warnings:Â Alcohol use, mind-blowing banter. Use of She/Her.
Part One Part Two
Fashion Board - Fic Playlist - Other Writing
-
You were still at a loss for words, soul sucked out of your throat - straight into his hands. Perhaps if you said nothing, this would remain a figment of your imagination.Â
But he was as real as he had been between your thighs, as he had been when you were beaming up at him, eyes doey and desiring to please.Â
You suddenly felt insecure â thrust onto a stage, the spotlight so terribly blinding. Harry was politely keeping his eyes trained on yours, awaiting a response he would never receive.Â
He introduced himself as Jeff, and before you could even think to protest, Savina invited both men to set up and join your little beach session. A kindness you hardly ever saw her express, and Harry accepted far too quickly for your liking.Â
Naturally, he chose to set his towel next to yours; and to make matters worse, he sat directly facing your side, legs bent forward, almost touching your hip. You slightly shifted away, aware that he would notice but not address it.Â
Savina took the liberty of keeping the light conversation flowing, prying on how Jeff knew Harry, what they were doing here, where they were staying and for how long. You heard not a thing; head thumping, chest burning.Â
Harry was particularly quiet, chiming in every so often, putting forth his best side for Savina, encouraging her to change her mind- or at least opinions on him. Harry was certain you had only shared vague details about him â even vaguer about your relationship.Â
And he tried to avoid being disappointed, still completely overwhelmed by finally confirming that he was, in fact, not crazy - you had been the person he saw running in the opposite direction â twice.Â
Harry was yet to understand why he found it so challenging to stay on planet Earth when in your presence. He had to keep himself grounded, trying his hardest to keep his gaze directed away from you,
âOf all the placesâŠâ you built up the courage to snap at him.Â
Harry took this with a grain of salt- knowing you well enough to expect rejection and complete weariness. For now, he deemed he could deal with those feelings when you werenât fearsomely sitting across from him.Â
Savina ensured no gaps of silence settled, asking all the right questions â general and friendly. Jeff was eager to engage and happy to be in the company of others- the last day and a half consisted of only physically communicating with Harry. Harry, who had spent his hours mulling about, stuck in his head, totally distracted. Jeff didnât know what his problem was- starting to ponder if this was how Harry behaved during his downtime.Â
You were still focused on regulating your heart rate, ears ringing, eyes staring blankly at the sea,
âSo, Y/n, how do you and Harry know one another?â Jeff asked, startling you back into reality. Your lips parted, mind blank, and as you struggled to formulate a simple response, Harry stepped in and, to your surprise, helped you out,Â
âSheâs Jackâs little sister-â
âOlder sister.â you scoff, eyes rolling.Â
Jeff nodded along, having been around your brother in the past. He made the same face everyone made whenever Jack was mentioned; a look of approval after flashbacks of your chaotic-good, riot-of-a-time brother came to mind.Â
âWhere is he staying this summer?âÂ
âAlps.â both you and Harry spoke in sync.Â
You glanced his way, already sure he was smiling as a result. And he was - cheekily. Just as rapidly as before, your heart was beating against your chest. It was loud â orchestral; ears screeching, body-quaking thumps, waves crashing against the sand, and the chatter of the three people situated around you - they spoke with clarity, but you heard only mutters- feeling like a bomb had just detonated beside your head.
After applying extreme focus, the ringing in your ears dulled and replaced itself with the sound of talking- comprehensive conversation. The last thing you wanted was to give Harry a reaction. After all, it was what he lived for. But you both knew that it bothered youâ Harry knew before he even said hello.
Your stubbornness kept you going â always had â and from extensive practice, you were sure you could tune out his existenceâ at least for the time being.
âHe plans on staying until August.â you scoffed â your brother was a moron who always seemed to forget how much the snow displeased him,Â
âBet heâll last a month, tops.â Harry decided, and you briefly looked over in acknowledgement,Â
âA week.â you felt certain â remembering a phone call yesterday where Jack whined for far too long about another incident on the slopes.
âWanna put money on it?â Harry tempted.
âMoney? Weâre not children.â Instantly regretting your choice of words.
âIs that a fact?âÂ
âDonât start.â Yet again, your anxiety surfaced- hot under the invisible collar of affection he clearly wanted to swaddle you with.Â
âSo, no money?âÂ
âNo money.â You dismissed, breaking eye contact.Â
Harry thought about it for a while â certain he could find a cheeky consolation prize for his failed attempt at striking up some friendly competition.Â
âDoesnât he hate the snow?â Savina pondered.
âDoes it even snow there during the summer?â Jeff joined in.
âSome places snow all year roundâŠsurely?â Harry was sucked right into the confusion.
Your body was on fire, a headache threatening to split your forehead in half, and everything sounded like noise, sensory overload in full swing.Â
âYou can still ski in some places in Switzerland during the summer. Christ, next thing youâre gonna ask where snow comes from.â the longer you stayed put, the sooner you found yourself setting alight.Â
âYou already gave me that lecture in seventh grade.â Harry reminded.
âYou thought snowflakes were a myth.âÂ
âAt least I didnât take it upon myself to spend all week preaching safety tips.â
âIâm older. I know better.â you scoffed.
âSlanderous lies.âÂ
âIt doesnât matter. Clearly, all of my warnings went in through one ear and out the other because you sprained an ankle and lost one of your ski sticks.âÂ
âYou bumped into me.â Harry leaned forward, ready to argue to the death.
âFuck right off. You cannot bump into someone who is behind you. And you were certainly behind me, you fuckinâ klutz.â You reclaimed the nickname, amazed that you were still having this argument.Â
Harry always refused to let it go. It was one of the first times he learned that listening to you was probably a wise move. He remembers how frantic you had gotten- yelling at him for not listening, for hurting himself, and for finding it so amusing. But your eyes were so sweet, filled with concern, hands soft as they helped remove his gear.Â
âOh please, you came out of it practically unscathed.â Harry scoffed.
âI still have a chipped tooth!â you couldnât believe how incredulous he was.
âWell, my heart still hurts after you called me, âDickhead. You foolish dickhead. Are you trying to get us killed?ââ Harry had memorised it like his favourite song.
He deserved it then, and he deserves it now, you thought. And though Harryâs recklessness was anxiety-inducing, you couldnât help how fun the day was â before and after his fall â there was minimal argument, plenty of laughter, and the best hot chocolate youâd had to date.Â
âI was being nice.â you offered.Â
âOh, I know.â Harry said smugly, âUntil recently, it was the nicest thing youâd ever said to me.âÂ
A choral of your voice - singing sweet compliments his way, intent on luring him closer â made your stomach churn; the many, many pretty praises pointed straight at him. And just like that, all calm and collectiveness were sucked back into the Earth's core, replaced with only remorse and dread. There were no walls, and yet they were certainly closing in; you felt all eyes were on you now, burning into your skin with newfound curiosity- you couldnât bear to look anywhere other than directly at him.Â
And he was looking right back at you, waiting to see if he had struck a chord, hoping to get more than just a dismissal. But he was sorely mistaken â underestimating your need for control, becoming more overwhelmed by the second.Â
Harry hadnât the faintest clue about how he made you feel â how could he really? Your poker face could earn millions; your expression never faltered, no noticeable twitches, your body rejecting the ache to stiffen. But you could feel the cracks starting, threatening to shatter, spill all of your nerves out right into his lap, and if you stayed here a moment longer, you were sure to break.Â
With that in mind, you startled the group by standing abruptly, your book falling from your lap, hitting the towel, causing Harry to look away for a moment- enough time to gather your cool, pulling your shades back over your eyes, hiding sheer panic.Â
You turned to Savina, who was already looking at you puzzled, your words jumbling together, refusing to come out coherently. You searched desperately for an excuse- for some damn reason to get out of this mess. But all you could foolishly muster was both weak and faulty,Â
âItâs fucking swelting. Think I'm gonna go for a swim.â You turned with whatever confidence you could scrape to the surface, walking off toward the oceanâ your guard only retreating once the sea enveloped your ankles, cooling you down in more ways than one.Â
You kept on forward, letting the salty water twist and wrap your thighs and belly- letting yourself sink into its embrace, dipping your head back until your hair dampened, fresh and comforting to your swelling brain.Â
As you straightened, letting your body bob between the waves, hands coming up to cup your face, hiding your embarrassment from even yourself. This was not your definition of summer- you were sure this was nobody's ideal vacation.Â
Harry was punctually proving that spending even ten minutes with him was a grave mistake. And you decided then and there that designating your time to avoid him was your best bet- your only guarantee that whatever vacation remained would stay sacred.Â
Your skin was pruning by the point of your begrudging departure from the water, taking your time and returning to where you had left Savina, Jeff, and Satan himself.
And a wave of relief, bigger than those you had been bobbing in, washed over you with fresh revival at the realisation that the men were no longer here, only Savina, deeply invested in The Old Man and the Sea, perched in one hand, the other strewn across her hip.
You reached down for your towel, wrapping it loosely across your shoulders,
âY'know, reading that book is kinda foretelling.â
âAre you calling me an old man?â Savina turned, instantly shutting, and discarding the book.Â
âNo, no. I think youâre struggling with the language barrier.â You teased.
âI speak better English than you.â Sshe reminded.Â
You scoffed, folding and putting your towel back down, sitting cross-legged. There was a moment of pause, an itch to ask what had happened after you went for a swim- but the relief you had felt suddenly intertwined with slight disappointment. Why had they left?Â
âThey had lunch reservations.â Savina informed.Â
âYou did not need to invite them to join us.â you reprimanded.Â
âAnd I didnât need to invite them out for dinner tomorrow night, but I did.â She said matter-of-factly.Â
Rage, confusion, anxiety, and a little excitement. You couldnât decide which to act on- instead, your jaw went slack, lips parted, eyebrows raised,Â
âYou bitch.âÂ
Savina chuckled, picked her book back up and continued reading.Â
đ·
Lunch had been a quiet affair; Jeff did most of the talking, and Harry did his best to listen. If it werenât for the steaming serving of Shrimp Scampi keeping him sane, Jeff probably would have left Harry to his own devices for the day.Â
But, after eating had long passed, and the sun had set over the sea, Harry was still in a funk- one that Jeff had failed to see from him so far, which, in itself, was odd. Jeff was usually first witness to Harry going through the motions; stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or overjoyed.This mood is hard to pinpoint though. It almost seems like Harry is so deep in thought he has become dismissive of all surroundings.Â
Mid-way through the evening, when Harry unintentionally sighed for the third time in ten minutes, Jeff looked up from his phone, paused his round of Sudoku, and decided an investigation was in order,
âIs this how you behave on all holidays?âÂ
âWhat does that even mean?â Harry shrunk back in the sofa, shading his wariness behind a surprised façade.Â
âYouâre acting weird.â Jeff said, one brow arched, and as an afterthought, he decided to get straight to the point, âIs there something going on between you and Y/n?âÂ
âWhy would you say that?âÂ
Harry ignored the little cupidâs dancing within the walls of his stomach, swallowing hard and staring out past the closest window, watching the sandy shores welcoming waves, the sea sparkling under the waning moon.  Â
âFor starters, I donât think Iâve seen you get this flustered around someone before.â Jeff tested, âWhich isâŠÂ something.â He was too observant, which obviously didnât help soothe the little stars and hearts swirling around like a halo above Harryâs head.Â
ââŠDonât know what youâre on about.â He murmured timidly.
Jeff couldnât comprehend why Harry seemed so reluctant to talk to him- surely if the two of you were purely platonic he would have no reservations just clarifying. Right now, Harry could barely look at Jeff, forehead compressed in an intense moment of introspection.Â
A phone notification pinged, distracting Jeff momentarily, and Harry was back to his belligerent thoughts of yours truly. The knots in his stomach were ones of excitement and anticipation, but his head was advising him to halt, to be realistic for once in his life, even if a piece of his heart took a hit along the way.Â
âSo?â Jeff sternly pressed on, dropping his phone back into his lap. Â
âSo⊠what?âÂ
âIs there something going on between the two of you?âÂ
âNoâŠMaybeâŠI donât know.â Harry exhaled mercifully, only perplexing himself further.
âWhatâs the problem?â The muddy waters were only worsening- Jeff had never heard of you, and now he was hooked on figuring out exactly why that was the case.Â
âSheâs Jackâs sister, for starters.â Harry stressed, finally sharing his apprehension.
âDoes he care?â honest curiosity.
âProbably not.â Harry hadnât really thought about that part.Â
âDoes she care?â Jeff worded.
âOh, for sure.â He knew that for sure.Â
đ·
Harry was lying in bed now, the window ajar, salty summer breeze mixing with the lull of waves crashing in the distance. A secret sliver of the moon peeked through the sheer curtains, dancing across his face, illuminating his features, flickering like a flashlight above his shut eyelids.Â
With a huff, he grabbed a fistful of the thin cotton sheet covering his torso, crinkling it between his palm, tugging it along with him as he turned over, facing his back to the moon.,Â
Harry couldnât fall asleep, and even if he could, he wasnât letting himself. His thoughts were on a sugar high, replaying the entirety of today on repeat; hyper-focused on the moments that included you, the sun crisping your edges, sunscreen turning to golden gloss atop your soft skin.Â
And though he felt tremendous relief knowing he was, in fact, not delusional. You were as real as you had been the last time he saw you - sweetly slobbering, just for him â Harry felt you slipping further away. Especially after your less-than-stellar reception to his arrival- it could have been chalked up to the fact that you were surprised to see him, but something in Harry knew better.Â
And when you jumped up off of your towel, body seeming scorched, scalded and scathing - desperate to separate from him- he easily confirmed you were running from him.Â
Harry felt a pang in his heart each time he thought of you walking away, unable to drift off peacefully knowing that you were so close, and he had blown the opportunity once more. He would sell his soul to find out what went on in your head-especially regarding him. Harry thought he would gladly doze off into slumber, wrapped in the soothing comfort of your headspace.Â
Yet here he was, his mind and body riddled with inertia- swallowed and swaddled by the sheets- he felt lonelier than he would have liked to admit. Harry knew just how well your body fit so snugly with his own, considering the feeling of tugging you closer, tangling yourselves into one whole being.Â
Never in his right mind would he have actually expected to see you here. He had sooner accepted that he was slipping into delusions- and somehow still easier to pretend that was the case. At least then he wouldnât be trapped in this limbo.Â
As you walked away, Harry quickly glanced over at Savina, and they shared a brief but curious exchange. Jeff, none-the-wiser â reminded Harry that they still had that lunch reservation. Though he wished to stay, feet buried within the sand, relief rushed through his veins- frustration for, once again, being unprepared in your presence.Â
He hadnât expected you to be so standoffish, a hint of discomfort seeping through your usual style of banter. Harry worried it was because of him- because you truly couldnât stand being near him.
Punctured with confusion, but almost certain that you had meant it when you were asking for him with such a needy craving that night in his bedroom, Harry still felt he knew you- knew not to take it too personally when you sent such frigidity his direction. He couldnât â and wouldnât â let it get to him.
His neck started to ache, threatening to spasm if he didnât punctually readjust. And with that being the case, Harry lifted himself up and swung his legs over the mattress- feet softly thudding against the hardwood.Â
Waiting on his eyes to adjust to the darkness, his hand blindly roamed the nightstand in search of his phone. Coming out successful, he unlocked the screen, glancing at the time, 01:13. He decided this was still a reasonable-enough hour, going to recent calls and pressing dial- knowing the man on the end of the receiver was still awake- confirmed when the call connected after two rings,
âTalk to me, baby.â
âWhy are you still awake?âÂ
âWhy would you call unless you thought I was?â Jack starts to think, offended that Harry would have called whether he was asleep or not.
âAnd why didnât you tell me Y/n was in Capri?â
âI didnât think youâd care.â He says nonchalantly.
âWell, you thought wrong.â Harry tries not to snap.Â
Either Jack canât tell that his friend is currently rather moody, or he can tell and just doesnât care. Considering that their consistent friendship spans two decades, thereâs a high likelihood Jack made a more-than-conscious choice to dismiss Harryâs demeanour. Instead he takes the opportunity to do what he does best, complain,
âDude, Iâm freezing out here. I fear I might have hypothermia, and I burnt my tongue on a cup of hot chocolate first night here- barely have any taste buds left. And, for some reason, I have this feeling Iâm gonna get caught in an avalanche, I know, I know, that might be irrational but-â
âStop whining. Go somewhere sunny. Go to the sea, Iâm already looking forward to hearing you worry about hyperthermia instead.â Harry griped petulantly.
âNot a bad ideaâŠâ Jack considers.Â
It sounds like Jack has started busying himself on the other end of the line, shuffling around as Harry contemplates bringing you up again. But, sleep will be hard to find if he chooses not to, and heâd kick himself for backing out,Â
âYour sister doesnât seem very keen on me being hereâŠâ
âYeah, she didnât sound too impressed.âÂ
âYou spoke to her?â Harry almost sits up fully, soft sheets pooling at his waist.Â
âWell, she sent me some rather colourful texts earlier.â Still, in the midst of doing something, Jack definitely has the phone on speaker now, veering further from Harryâs evident curiosity.Â
âWhat about?â posed with caution,Â
âSame as you. Wanted to know why I didnât tell her you were coming.â
âYeah?â
âYeah. Donât know why youâre both suddenly so interested in one other. I could just send you her number- would help stop me from having to be the messenger.â Jack groused.
âNot necessary.â Harry quickly dismissed, his nerves untangling as relaxation began to wash over him. He liked the idea of you being interested in him. For now, that was enough to lull him into a state of sleep, âYou are the worst messenger, though.â
âAnd you love me, bitchboy.â He sang with silly spirit, voice nearing the speaker.Â
âYeah, yeah. I donât think insurance will pay out if you die on the slopes... Maybe keep that in mind?âÂ
âThatâs it. Iâm getting out of here, man.âÂ
âGood for you.â Harry affirmed, yearning for a yawn.
âTell Y/n I say hi!â Jack merrily tormented.Â
âFuck off.â He chuckled lazily, eyes visited by the Sandman. Throwing in an, âI love youâ, promises of their next dialogue happening during daylight hours, and a threat of coming to visit, the call came to an end.Â
Harry released a lengthily postponed sigh, palm pressing to his forehead, before his phone emitted a startling ding, Jackâs name lighting up. Attached are the words, 'I think my fingers are freezing. Will they fall off?', as well as your name and number.Â
He wanted to roll his eyes, dusty rose coating the apples of his cheeks- shyness coursing through him, and great relief that Jack had dismissed his protests- swooning at the digits belonging to you, feeling a little closer- nearer.
Customizing your contact details, gifting you the title of Klutz with a wine glass emoji for finesse, Harryâs eyes finally swell shut with sleepiness, body soothed back into the sheets, already drifting into dreamland by the time his head hits the pillow.
đ·
You would sooner face the guillotine than admit how long you took to choose an outfit for dinner. Throwing clothes in your suitcase the morning of your flight- âitâs not like Iâll have anyone impressâ mixed with âI put off packing to binge-watch Kitchen Nightmaresâ- was now biting you in the ass. Why the fuck did you bring so many socks? When would you even use them?Â
When you had finally settled on something- consisting of a white tee tucked into a high-waisted coral and pink mermaid-esque skirt, paired with white latex ankle boots, a cream belt and a matching mini baguette bag- it was time to start fussing over hairstyles and by the end of that, it was a miracle you hadnât ripped out all of the hair on your head. It was only when you caught a glance of yourself in the mirror that your confidence returned, and you mustered up as much of it as you could to get through the next few hours.Â
The chosen restaurant was spacious, built with cobblestone, and decorated with dark green vines and eclectic hardwood tables. Harry and Jeff were already waiting on the sidewalk. Greeting you warmly, the sudden kiss Harry pressed to your cheek was startling but welcomed, and you hoped he wouldnât see the way your cheeks flushed wishfully. Â
Settling in, Harry makes it very clear that he intends to sit next to you- forcing Jeff to the end of the table without a chance for choice. It had been expected, but still, you felt the familiar bubbling of anxious uncertainty within you. The only promising factor was the chance to eat- something you had been too distracted to do all day.Â
An awkward silence lulled over, only amplifying the splitting headache you soon faced. Harry looks at you as if he couldnât imagine being anywhere else in the world. Gaze happily settled on your own- and your lack of comfortability- clearly revelling in it all. If the wine you had ordered would just arrive, perhaps your nerves would settle.Â
âThanks for inviting us, Savina.â Jeff started after a subtle clearing of the throat, and everyone was more than grateful for it.Â
âOh, of course! Itâs such a coincidence bumping into someone Y/n knows from home. We just had to have dinner.â She shot a cheeky glance your way, and you hoped to God that the dim lighting would mask the blush rushing across your cheeks,Â
âWell, we didnât have to.â You mumbled, regretting it as Harryâs ears instantly perked up,
âCancelled another hot date, did you, Y/n?â With each word, he seemed closer and closer, pricking at your emotions, stirring frustration back to the surface each time it threatened to settle down.Â
âDo I sense jealousy?â You felt yourself shifting forward, arms resting impatiently atop the table.Â
âJust curiosity.â He shrugged, relaxing back into his chair, arms folded across his chest with nonchalance,Â
âWhat are you, a cat?â You dismissed him, turning both your attention and body to face the others, âItâs nice to finally meet you, Jeff.â
âLikewise, Iâve heard plenty about you.âÂ
âHope I live up to my reputation then.â Shrugging, you glance over at the loved-up boy from your childhood, and he's already looking at you longingly.
âOh, trust me, you already are.â Jeff chuckles with certainty,Â
âReally?â you pondered, mirroring the curiosity that flashed across Harryâs features.
âI canât help but enjoy seeing Harry being put in his place.â Jeff shrugged, sending a reassuring wink across the table. Â
âAh, youâre the designated babysitter?â You quizzed heartily.
âI hardly need a babysitter.â Harry defended in an instant.
âHardly.â Jeff emphasised.Â
âYou make it sound like Iâm a child.â Harry worked hard to remain still- tempted to act out with a pout and a soft foot stomp.
âAll Iâm saying is, itâs refreshing.â
âTo see me being scolded?â
âThe constant praising is great butâŠâ Jeffâs face scrunched sympathetically.
âTiring?â Savina tries.
âExhausting?â you add.Â
âAlright, alright.â Harry shushed with a playful eye roll- mostly directed at yourself.
The waiter arrived with a newly opened bottle of Merlot, gesturing for confirmation to pour a tester into the large glasses you were each designated. Savina approved, taking the liberty of tasting for the table. With a delighted suck of the teeth and a nod, the waiter went on to fill each glass.Â
âSo, Savina, what line of business are you in?â Jeff asked between his first sip- pleased with the bitterness greeting his pallet.Â
Savina knew exactly what she was doing as she blocked her courtesy and left you with the challenge of creating some form of communication with Harry. He proved to be kinder, however, taking the opportunity to show signs of life,Â
âWhatâs good here?â he made no effort to check out the menu,Â
âEverything.â no effort on your part either.Â
âNarrow it down.âÂ
âWell, you can never go wrong with Risotto alla MilaneseâŠyouâd probably really like Parmigiana- but either way, we should get the Olives Ascolante as an appetizer, theyâre incredible, and I know you love olivesâŠâ
âLook at you, so astute.â He was trying not to grin back at you, heart silently swelling at the subtle affection you had let slip,Â
âShove off.â You prayed he would let it slide.Â
Thankful for the return of the waiter, you took the liberty of ordering appetizers accordingly- glancing over at Harry to confirm he was satisfied with your choices. As an afterthought, you asked for a side of Rice Arancini.
Harry was enjoying his vacation more than ever, unabashedly sending a smile straight to your heart, hairs rising up the back of your neck,Â
âWhat?â You asked when it was clear he was in no hurry to look away,Â
âI like it when youâre assertive.âÂ
âYeah, why am I not surprised?â Â
âGuys?â In sync, your heads turned to the other two, âShould we also order some Focaccia for the table?â Nodding- in sync- Savina was quick to ignore you once more, âGot it. I started in MilanâŠâÂ
Twirling your index finger around the glasses rim, you had unknowingly prompted Harry to finally reach for his own wine, taking a curious sip. Wine was something he hardly humoured, even during his previous stays in Italy. His eyes lit up with adorable surprise, and a wave of endearment washed over you, the familiarity of Harry reappearing for the first time since even before your⊠incident(s),
âThis is good.â He praised, lips glossed over, reattaching to the glass for more.
âI know.â
âNo, like, really good.â He tried to emphasise entirely
âIÂ know.â You sent him a cheesy smile, reciprocating the need to completely confirm that you two were on the same page.
âIf the wine back home tasted this way,â his eyes still wide, going in for a third sip, âIâd have stopped with the scotch years ago.â
âPlease, you love your Johnny Walker too much.â You tried your best not to pay attention to the stray droplets staining his bottom lip- it would be too easy to kiss away all remnants.
âFuck, this is so good though.â Harry felt unnecessarily revolutionary, âmade in Italy?â putting his glass down to reach over and grab the bottle,Â
âI would hope so.â âSiena. Thank fuck.âÂ
âWith this many vineyards nearby, it would be criminal to drink anything else,â you engaged your own glass, taking savoured sips, lashes unintentionally fluttering their way into the crevices of his heart.
âBeen to any good ones so far?â Harry asked, leaning nearer with the excuse of the restaurant being a little loud, looking at you like he had loved you far too long- something you mistook for boyish fascination, it had always been just that, right?Â
âWineries?â You asked for confirmation he granted with a soft nod, âOh, of course. Did a tour from Modena down through Bologna. At some point the trip did turn a bit blurry⊠but from what I recall, the wine just kept getting better and better.â
âIâve never done a wine tasting before.âÂ
âYouâre kidding.âÂ
âNo?â he had never even thought about it before.
âToo much business, not enough pleasure?â You prodded, and as usual, you were correct. Harry had definitely spent plenty of time travelling- for the purpose of work.Â
You knew this without him ever needing to tell you, though you typically minimized the importance of his career, you were one of the only people who understood this- and he wasnât sure why you did⊠but it only helped reinforce the certainty he felt about the two of you, you just understood him, and you would never, ever admit that you knew he understood you too.Â
âExactly.â He agreed with subtle satisfaction, and a settled silence grew between yourselves, as you took another sip, swirling the rouge for a moment more.
ââŠBetter change that then.â
âYeah?â Harryâs entire body perked up, hoping you would lead him directly in your trap, and everything in you wanted to go with him, to spend time with him. An invitation ached to slip from your tongue, fighting contradiction, just dying to tour wine country with Harry. But in true fashion, you tracked back on every feeling of affection and offered. Â
âIâm sure Jeff would love to go.âÂ
And Harry was lured straight into disappointment, having already indulged in the idea of spending time with you- ideally at your own suggestion. He was sure it looked like you were willing, if not pretty eager, but there was no way the frown accompanying your conflicting thoughts could go unnoticed. Harry knew this face well enough; you had sported it through most of senior year. Every time it seemed you were about to reconsider, to give in, a sudden reality check seemed to pull you back, retreating into nothing but a bowed head and twiddling fingers.Â
The aroma of the appetizers finally arrived, scattered across the tabletop with the threat of mouth-watering bite-sized pieces of heaven. The conversation is almost completely forgotten to you, your senses elated with the promise of food, and your hands are moving every which way, grabbing one of everything, piling your plate plentifully.Â
And even though the sight of your eyes rolling back, lips parted, as you taste a spoonful of, clearly entices him to try some for himself, Harry still thinks back to your last words, taking over your habit of overthinking. He can tell his brows are furrowed, canât help himself from shifting his chair to face you, his arm resting across the table,
âHow long are you gonna keep this act up?âÂ
You glanced up at him, Arancini half-chewed, eyes wide and heart thudding. Taking extra time swallowing, pushing it by reaching over for a sip of wine, you felt scorched by his stare and attempted another aversion,Â
âIâve no idea what youâre talking about...â
âWe both know youâve done damn near everything in your power to avoid me.âÂ
âNow thatâs just not true.â You try.Â
âOh, really?â His forehead raised.Â
You were trapped in a stare-off; Harry was clearly keeping you there by the challenging glimmer of his pretty green eyes. But, you donât lose,Â
âI havenât done everything in my powerâŠâÂ
âOh my god, youâre infuriating!â Harry has to stop his hands from flailing around dramatically,Â
âAnd you arenât?â You defended, unable to commit to keeping your hands at bay, and Savina glances over with a brow raised in suspicion.Â
Quickly detaining your outward display of displeasure, your hand finds the wineglass once more, taking a hefty gulp as Harry obtains the opportunity to get closer, eyes darting to the two diners across the table, engaging in a mild debate. His voice lowers,Â
âAt least I didnât almost get hit by a Vespa trying to run away from you.âÂ
Almost choking on your wine, withholding a cough, spluttering out in utter surprise- and undoubtedly shameful understanding,Â
âYou know about that?âÂ
âI do now!â Harry exclaims, shocked that his suspicions have been confirmed.Â
âI didnât almost get hit.âÂ
Attempting to turn your attention back to the act of dining, Harry finally reached out and grabbed an olive and popping an olive between his teeth, crunching down on it, his smile mixed into one both of enjoyment for the food, and sheer amusement for your attitude.Â
âWhatâs your plan, Klutz? To be the cause of pileups all summer?âÂ
The sheer suggestion of spending the rest of your vacation avoiding him and the ever-increasing fondness you felt whenever in his presence. And looking over at the man who seemed only capable of enjoying your company, you only panicked more,
âYouâll be here all summer?âÂ
âWell, if my staying will keep you this riled up, I think itâs my obligation to.â He was taking this less than seriously,
âHarry, I swear-â
âMan, my name never sounded so good being chewed out.â Heâs met with only sternness, a glare that had him feeling like a scolded schoolboy. And he didnât like your stare- not when you could be coating him in sweetness, so his features soften, his taunting tone turning tenderness, âWeâre friends, Y/n, Iâll make sure I donât get on your nervesâŠmore than usual.â
âWhy donât I believe you?â you ask meekly, shoulders relaxing and soothed by his surety, but still too sceptical to believe him. And when Harry sees this in the way your eyes stay squinted, he wants to reach over and soothe every frown line with soft kisses,Â
âTrust me, I would hate to see your arms and legs covered in bandagesâŠwould be such a shame.âÂ
He takes a long sip of his wine, savouring the way it tantalizes his senses, before reaching over and popping another olive into his mouth, chewing and talking consecutively,Â
 âBesides, I have plenty of sweet nothings lined up for you⊠canât bear to keep them all in.â
âBet?â you fail to resist falling for his promises of future-fondness.
âMight fuck around and writing another song about you.â He shrugs candidly.
âAnother?âÂ
Head racing, hurriedly scanning through the roller deck of songs and memories that pertained to Harry, you couldnât begin to highlight a moment or song worth writing for your sake. You want- no, need- him to say more, to give you something to soothe the idea that Harry might have been right about his feelings all along- that this âthingâ between the two of you was nothing new, only brushed aside.Â
âY/n, Harry. Are you guys ready to order the main course, or do you need a moment to finish flirting?â Savina interrupted, amusement showing in both her tone and her taunting smile. Your defence was back and bigger than ever, and you bit back with dismissal, Â
âWe were not flirting.â
âWell, one of us was.â Harry mutters.
âThatâs your problem.â You shut him down sternly, sliding your chair an inch further from his intensity, you focus all attention on the question at hand, âIâm ready to order.â
đ·
Wine glasses are empty, the bill is taken care of, and you can finally admit that relaxation has set in. With no further incidents during dinner, there was finally space to enjoy Harryâs company. Though that only reminded you of how fond you were of him, the night was young, and Harry was sure to resort to naughtiness.Â
Glancing between the group, Savina made certain her next suggestion wouldnât result in you retreating to a coffin. And with one more smile of endearment from you- directed at Harryâs detailing of an event he attended- she decided it was a safe bet,Â
âShould we check out some of the bars?âÂ
With a collection of cohesive nods, the restaurant was left behind in search of a place with dimmer lighting and louder music.Â
Standing on the sidewalk, the air was warm, but when Harryâs boot accidentally knocked your own, your skin had an eruption of goosebumps.Â
âI remember this little one on the corner of Regazzi. Very nice for dancing.â Saved by Savina, you had an excuse to take a step away, ensuring no further bump-ins with Harry.Â
âLead the way.â Jeff agreed, and with that, you were all headed off down the street.Â
A quaint but bustling location, already filled with enthusiastic guests grooving along to a song you faintly remember playing in a nightclub in downtown Rome? The energy was infectious, bobbing and weaving between those dancing. It took a moment to source a small table for the group to gather around. Instead of occupying the seat next to you- which you swear you hadnât hoped he would select- Harry stayed standing, addressing the collective,Â
âWhat are we drinking?âÂ
Savina was quick to name Sangria, Jeff offered to join Harry, and you were about to order your classic Gin and Tonic when the memories of Harry taking care of it for you came flooding back, and your feelings of bashfulness were asking to be fed once more,
âSurprise me.â Batting your lashes, his eyes lit up, confirmed with a nod; Harry, with Jeff in tow, made their way through those dancing in search of the bar.
They were hardly out of earshot when Savina gently grasped at your wrist, giving it a shake, her smile growing,
âHeâs fabulous!â
You scoff as the last person on your side seems to be switching teams, leaving you open to feeling crazier than you already did. He was fabulous, but you swear you arenât wrong in finding him aggravating,
âYouâre just saying that because heâs Harry Styles.âÂ
âYou know I donât care about that.â Savina dismissed.
âYeah, well, I wish you would.â She was right. You knew there was no reasoning.Â
âCâmon, heâs cute! A little puppy!â
âI donât want cute.â Griped through gritted teeth.
âBut you do want him?â She already knows the answer.
Who were you fooling? Either you were miserable at hiding your attraction for Harry, or it had gotten so strong that the mere energy between the two of you was telling. Probably both, and neither would gain your admittance any time soon,Â
âNo. I told you, it was a lapse in judgement.âÂ
âNo such thing.âÂ
âHeâs annoying. Heâs famous- and childish- and heâs fucking everywhere I go! Canât close my damn eyes without his pretty little face popping up like a Jack-in-the-box.âÂ
âWhatâs that?âÂ
âJack-in-the-box.â That cleared up nothing. Savinaâs gaze is perplexed.
â⊠Your brother is in a box⊠in your head?âÂ
âNo. Those boxes that sing when you wind them up,â You used your hands in an attempt to describe the boxes shape, âand then a clown pops out of nowhere, and youâre like, ah! Why didnât I see it coming?â
âOh my God, yes!â Savina almost cheers with comprehension, âMy cousin loved that thing⊠what is this universal fascination with clowns?â
âLike, who is their demographic?â
âIâve never met a child who likes clowns.â This was taking a real detour,Â
â Plus, they donât have the greatest rep.âÂ
âAlways trying to eat children⊠yeah, kids are definitely not the demographicâŠ.â Savina thought about it a moment, and you were sure you had successfully managed to divert the conversation from Harry until Savina did a one-eighty, âAnyways, stop running. Let him take you out. It could be fun.â Â
âThat would make me a clown.â
âYouâve been acting like one since he got here, no?â
âNo.â You had been acting nothing but rationally; hiding behind a tree was perfectly normal under the circumstances⊠right? Or did you really need to run when you saw him from the sidewalk? Thereâs no way he would have spotted you. Turns out, you had been acting anything but rationally, âOh God. I have, havenât I?âÂ
âA little.â Savina smiled sympathetically, grateful you were finally catching on to the bizarreness of your behaviour these last few days.Â
âI almost died trying to avoid him!â Your eyes were wide with embarrassment, absolutely mortified.Â
âI, for one, would like to see you relax.â She confessed, âIt would help me do the same.â
âYou took two naps today.â
âBecause I needed to relax.â
Across the restaurant, Harry waited anxiously for their round of drinks, trying his best to seek you out within the movement of other patrons. He was granted quick glances before bodies moved to the beat and blocked you once more.Â
âYou really like her." Jeff observed,Â
âObviously.â Harry thinks anyone who spent even five minutes with you two would be able to see the wishful fondness he felt for you.
âWhy am I only finding this out now?â
Harry really didnât want to get into it- especially since you clearlydidnât want to.Â
âBecause Iâve barely seen her the last five years.â He concedes, and when Jeff only looks at him like heâs speaking gibberish, Harry is forced to go on,
âItâs like sheâs suddenly everywhere. I mean, sheâs always been everywhere, but now sheâs like⊠everywhere⊠yâknow?âÂ
âSureâŠâ Itâs becoming rather evident to Jeff that Harry isnât sure when he stands with you, and as the conversation hits a dead end, the drinks arrive, and they busy themselves with making their way back to the table.
đ·
Your drink- long finished- forms a large part of being the reason you wanted to dance- so badly that your boots basically stood up on their own and made their way over to the make-shift dancefloor, slipping in between bodies vibing along to the beat.
It felt good to relax- as Savina would suggest- and you felt the release of all pent-up frustration as it left your body and disappeared into the crowd, no longer your burden to bear. The rest of the group had scattered, and for a while, that went unnoticed as the dancing held your undivided attention.
Harry was simply a thing of the past until you did a little twirl, and unbelievably, he was in your direct eye line. Leaning against the wall, an almost empty scotch in his hand, he seemed to be comfortably observant.Â
The checked overshirt he donned was doing a half-hearted job at covering his chest- most of which was on display due to his choice of a low, low-cut white undershirt. His pants were a peachy-pink hue, not unlike your skirt, and like you, his sneakers were white to match. Heâs dressed good. So good that you arenât surprised when a girl starts to approach him. That doesnât stop you from almost choking, insecurity suddenly invading your free spirit, and it killed you how much it bothered you to see him tilt his head to hear her better, a smile as she spoke, leaning in even closer.
Determined to stay sane, you continued to dance, looking anywhere but the scene of what you deemed a crime. But when you were about to explode from the need to let your eyes wander back to him, you looked over, heart sighing with liberation, when it became clear he was alone again.Â
That wasnât enough, though, your target had been set, and the need to dance was done and gone. Your body didnât want to sway; it wanted you across the room, trapping Harry against that stupid wall. So, you let that ambition carry you across the dancefloor, dodging dancers, focused on reaching his unsuspecting figure.Â
Harry followed the trail of your shoes up to the determined look plastered across your face as you seemed to be suddenly bounding over. He hadnât managed to spot you, searching the crowd for as long as he had been standing in this corner.Â
Before he could blink, you were before him, slotting your feet in the space between his own. The gap between you was small, but you gestured to it anyways, finally acknowledging the fact that you happened to be dressed similarly,
âI like the way you dress.âÂ
âI get it from you.â His head bowed to see you better, smile beaming down at you like you were the only person in the world.Â
âI thought about the betâŠ.â You started, chest tilting into his own, brushing up against him.Â
âReady to put money on it?âÂ
âNo.âÂ
âThen?â He wondered, hands finding their home on your hips, tugging you a tad closer, his eyes flickering back and forth across your features, loving the fact that you looked like you wanted him.
Your palm flat against his chest, the other resting on his forearm, only seemed to confirm Harryâs suspicions. Pushing up on your tippytoes, lips lining with his ear, your voice, low and sultry, threatened to turn Harry to mush. But that wasnât your plan,Â
âIf I win, you have to stop with all your little flirty remarks-â
âWhy would I agree to-â His eyes augmented with horror.
âIf you win, Iâll go on out with you... on a date.âÂ
Harry wanted to laugh. You had stumbled into a trap he hadnât realised was set the moment he had phoned Jack last night. But his body was in a shamble of shivers and goosebumps, hands pressing into your hips, pulling you closer, your chest bumping into his own.
âDo you hate my compliments that much?â He cooed, hoping to charm you closer.
âNo. I just want to wipe that smugness right off of your lips.â You slide your hand out from the trap of his chest and your own, wrapping it around his shoulder, nails raking across the back of his neck.Â
âDeal.â Harry hardly held back his enthusiasm, pupils swallowing the swirls of mossy-green whole.Â
âIâm sticking with one week.â You ignored the way his reaction sent a rush of encouragement straight up your spine and instead indulged in the feeling of him melting under your touch- like a magnet to your presence.
Harryâs face was closer now, his forehead threatening to brush against your own. Your grip tightens, hanging on to anything he might say next. Â
âThree days⊠max.â He was almost aching with adamance.Â
âBetter get the last of those compliments in, Styles. Make âem count.â You tried to warn, putting all available energy into maintaining control, but it was hard when he was still inching closer, his voice husk and for your ears only,Â
âEven if you win, I have a feeling we would both miss those compliments terribly.âÂ
Unfortunately, he was far from wrong. This was a last-ditch attempt on your behalf- and you knew that going into it. You could have easily dismissed the bet altogether- easily dismissed it even now, instead of pushing on with fervour. Â
âYou donât know that.â You swallowed, trying to remain factual- hating the way he made you feel so submissive. Your comfortability of being the older, mature one was almost non-existent the moment he opened his mouth. Cursing yourself for this sudden willingness to let him take the reins.Â
âIâm almostcertain I do.â he wouldnât budge. It only made you want him more as you unconsciously lilted into him, leaving no gaps to be found,Â
âYouâre far too hopeful.âÂ
âOnly when it comes to you.âÂ
âCute.â Sarcasm masking the way your heart did a hurdle- threatening to jump right into his arms.Â
âI know you are, but what am I?â Harryâs words brush over you with a mix of musk and mint, breath fanning over your cheeks, making your eyelashes flutter,
âAnnoying.âÂ
âWhat else?â Heâs so close now, jaw tilted and taunting you to reach out and grab at him.
âInsufferable.âÂ
âAnd?â His eyes are blown-out, one of his hands slipping from your waist and wrapping around your lower back. Trapped in his hold- and never wanting to leave- your former frustration was nowhere to be found, nudging your nose against the nape of his neck, lips brushing the warmth of his skin,
âAnd, sometimes, I want to just fuck the brattiness out of you.âÂ
Pretending the words that you had uttered were ineffective, Harry struggled to breathe; his brain scrambled, ready to be seasoned and served on a platter. His grip only tightening at your tantalizing warning, ready to do whatever it took to make it a reality, Â
âMight take a couple triesâŠ.âÂ
You breathe out at his suggestion, soft laughter tickling at his neck. Youâve never enjoyed being in the arms of someone more- and you ensure it stays that way, arms wrapping around him with warmth, pulling him impossibly closer. You press a soft kiss to the slope of his jaw and inform,Â
âWould be worth it.â Â
đ·
Jack doesn't mean to, but he sneaks up on you- consumed in overwhelming thought, staring blankly at the copy of Crime and Punishment strewn across your lap.
âMiss me?â His voice was sharp, slicing through the silence, sending a shockwave your way.Â
Your legs jolted- gravity dragging the heftiness of Dostoevsky off of your lap and onto the floor. But it was long forgotten, bent askew atop the tiles.
âWhat the fuck are you doing here?â You spat, seething at your brother as if you were sure that he was here just to spite you.
âIâm here to make this the best summer ever!â He hollered, embodying the energy of a teen on spring break.
âDoes Harry know youâre here?âÂ
âIâm not digging this lack of enthusiasmâŠâ He half-pouted.
âJack, respectfully, I will pay you to leave.â You bargained with the panic within, threatening to trap your tongue between teeth. Â
âKeeping the bit going, I love it!â Jack was hardly listening to you. Instantly falling into the routine of sibling comradery.
âIâm not doing a bit. You have to leave before Harry sees you!â
âWell, itâs too late for that.â His creased brows met in the middle, looking at you as if you were suddenly alien.
âWhat?â Panic was fizzling over, foaming at the gums.
âI called him before my flight, and he gave me all the details.â He shrugged.
âDetails?â
âYeah. Iâm staying with him. He said he thought you wouldnât be overjoyed having to host me, which is rude, by the way.â
It was as if you were simultaneously thinking and not thinking at all. The inside of your head was suddenly a jumble of letters, an amalgamation of nonsensical emotions. The rug had been ripped from right under you. Â
âSo⊠he knows that youâre here?âÂ
âGee, Jack. Itâs so good to see you. I missed you tooâŠâ He mocks, having expected better reception. Whatever was brewing between you and Harry was not going unnoticed.Â
âIâll deal with you later.â You huffed, turning on your heels.
Your head was a pot, thoughts bubbling and boiling over, steam surely sputtering from your nostrils as you stormed out of the house and onto the sidewalk. Taking two steps at a time, almost tripping, shoes scuffing the paving as you muttered your frustrations aloud.Â
The day was joyous- and you hated that â raindrops swirling within a cloud floating atop your head just as a crown would. It was more than obvious that Harry had been playing you all along. The part of you that felt mortified had rushed all heat to your blushing cheeks, and the part of you that felt so silly- so gullible- had you picking up your pace until abruptly arriving. Â
âHarry!â Fists thumping against the hardwood as if it was personally responsible,Â
âHarry.â Louder- thudding harder- indisputably sending your frustrations his way.
He took his time, bare feet strolling along the porcelain tiles. Running a hand through his hair, he unhooked the latch and smiled as your flared cheeks and kissable pout finally came into view.Â
He smiled knowingly, opening the door fully before leaning lazily against the frame, eyeing you up and down with endless patience, noting how lovely you looked in lilac; skin soft and shimmering under the sun, hair pulled back and certainly warm to the touch. He thought for a moment more, lips spreading into a smirk, and then shrugged,
âThere were no rules stating I couldnât make use of the information Jack provided.âÂ
âItâs- thatâs- what you did was totally unethical!â You reasoned, pushing past Harry into the villa, arms across your chest, owning the entire entrance hall. Harry only looked more entertained, enjoying the flashes of frustration in your eyes.
âUnethical?âÂ
âYes!â you settled.
âI won fair and square-â
âNot fair. Not square.â You all but whined, and a shiver shook at Harryâs spine; scenes of you pressed up against him, pleading for his affection.Â
âWow, Y/n. Iâve never known you to be a sore loser.â
Harry was pushing buttons for sure, seeing how much closer he could bring you, guiltlessly loving the attention you were paying him- even if it was lacking positivity, if it was all you were willing to give, he had to have it.Â
âI am not a sore loser.â You defend, accusatory finger pointing directly at him, âYou tricked me.â
âI hardly tricked you.â He scoffed, eyes rolling fetchingly.
âYou omitted very important details.â
âWe both knew he was on the brink of leaving.â He rationalised, âI simply gave him a little nudge.â
âYouâre unbelievable.âÂ
 âI could say the same about you.â He challenges.
âThis is like blood money or blood diamonds, I donât know.â Coming to terms with the catastrophic choice to indulge in this bet, you hadnât thought this far ahead- you hadnât actually thought about it at all. What happened next?Â
âOh, please.â He mused. But when you only seemed to look more upset, Harry softened, guilted and regretted putting you in this position, âIf you want to back out, I won't judge. We can forget the bet ever existed.âÂ
He meant it with all sincerity, but the words whisked over your head, hopelessly mistaking his sympathy for torment. This man had to be up to something. There was no way he would give you such a hard time only to retreat at the first sign of resistance. So, instead of taking him at face value, you switched up your tactics- whatever they were and tried a different defence,Â
âHa. Youâd just love that, wouldnât you?â
âNo, I would not, missy.âÂ
Harry laughed the words your way, arms folding atop his chest, almost totally distracting you as his muscles constricted against his flimsy t-shirt as it threatened to shift and expose the pleasing sight of the soft skin belonging to his hips and pelvis. Taking a step nearer, your next sentence would send Harry into a world of excitement,
âWeâre going on that date,â You said it straight, but when Harry shifts, and his stomach peeks past the thin cotton, you add for your own sake and reminder, âand Iâm gonna make damn sure you regret it.â
âIs that a threat?â He tries to move even closer, but you take a step back and then another, preparing to turn on your heels and put him behind you.Â
âYes, Harry Styles.âÂ
Itâs time to get out of here before you say more things you canât retract, and thereâs plenty of leftover angst you can project onto Jack, whom you only now acknowledge is probably still aimlessly wandering the grounds of your villa, waiting for an explanation.
Nodding your head with finality, this was your chance to finish on a high. You were already out the front door, sneakers angrily scraping the gravelled pathway, when Harry swung himself around the door frame- holding onto it the way you would wish farewell by hanging from the side of a moving train- projecting unnecessarily, and sending you home with some wise food-for-thought,Â
âIt would take a miracle to make me regret spending time with you, Y/n.â
---
đ·Reply if you wanna be added to the taglist!đ·
Lord have mercy, I am so nervous and hope you guys like this! This series is near-and-dear to my heart, living in my head rent free for the past few years lol. Anyhow, thank you for reading! I know my updates are less-than punctual, but I really do appreciate all the love and support đ„ș -Emmy. xo đ
This makes me happy! Hehe theyâre so cuteeeeee! I love how Monica FaceTimed Glen on the Vanity Fair carpet and now weâve got a shot of them together hahaha I love this friendship Cr Monbarbaro_ @IG theyâve been feeding us so well these few weeks! đđ»
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
ellievsbear
amandla
