What do you think Bruno was trying to say when he went "I just don't know how to,,, I just don't know how to,,," before he broke it off to tell Mirabel she should go? It's been plagueing my mind ever since--
Please forgive the long wait for a reply. Your question inspired me to take a deeper look at that scene, so I wrote a little analysis (I hope you don't mind!)
From the very first meeting with Mirabel, Bruno tries to reject her. First he says "bye" to her outright, then he knocks on wood, sprinkles salt and sugar on her (I know this is superstition, but maybe he was also doing it for the purpose of making her think he's crazy and leave? Who knows). But it didn't work.
Why is he doing this? Because he knows what questions she will ask him. When Mirabel tells: "you never left", he gets nervous.
He tries to distract her, tries to change the subject to telenovelas and the "love could never be." But Mirabel doesn't fall for his ploy and tells him bluntly that she "doesn’t understand why he left, but didn’t leave". Bruno is again nervous and again answers evasively.
All this shows that he really wants to avoid answering this question.
But when Mirabel discovers the slit and the "plate", Bruno is frightened. Look, he slouches even more and awaits Mirabel's reaction with fear. Maybe now she'll start to resent him because he's been spying on their lives all this time. So he excuses himself by saying that he loves his family. And thus unwittingly answers Mirabel's question.
Yeah, my Gift wasn't helping the family, but, uh, I love my family, you know? I just don’t know how to… I just don’t know how to…
A contradiction arises. He loves his family, but his Gift isn't helping, which means that he's useless to the family. That the family DOESN’T LOVE HIM. Probably it is a thought that remains a thought without being able to be put into words.
Why didn't he say so? Why did he shy away from the question so insistently? Because the thought HURTS him.
Look at this frame again. One more second and he would have cried! But he restrained himself, trying again to drive Mirabel away. He was used to keeping his feelings in check, and maybe he didn't want to burden Mira with his problems. He didn't want her to feel sorry for him. That's why he looked away, hiding the pain of loneliness from his niece.
In these scenes we see his real face, without the masks of laughter.
When Mirabel talks to him about herself, he listens to her, but is still focused on his own pain. But look at his reaction when she says:
I just wanted to make the family proud of me. Just once.
There's finally an answer! These words resonate with his soul! Because Mirabel has brought to the surface the very thought he hasn't voiced!
I just don't know how to make the family proud of me.
I just don't know how to be useful to my family.
I just don't know how not to make my family sad.
But, in the end, it all comes down to this formulation:
I love my family, I just don’t know how to earn their love. The same love that I love them.
After these words, Bruno realizes that he and Mirabel are alike. And from that moment on, his own pain gives way to his niece's pain.
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janainaart
