The Zombie Prostitute

40+ year old using this side-blog specifically for smut. Here's my masterlist.

[thezombieprostitute]

What's a cutie like you doing in a graveyard like this? You looking for a good time? I'm sure I can find something you'll like.😉

About Me:

My name is Zombie (she/they) and I run this little section of Tumblr. You won't know if I'm following you or not because this is a side-blog. And all asks from are on Anon, but I will sign my name to them.

I do some writing, here and there. Currently the majority of my writing is for CEvans and SStan characters, though Cavill and Hiddleston are quickly climbing the ranks. I've also got a smattering of other characters that I'd love to write more for if I get the time/interest.

You can find my masterlist here.

Warnings:

This is an 18+, NSFW, Minors DNI blog.

I am relatively human and, therefore, prone to mistakes.

If you send an ask, I'm unlikely to answer it right away, especially if it's a request for a story.

I reserve the right to not answer every ask sent my way.

I do not interact with blogs that do not have some indication of age. I am not willing to risk interacting with a minor.

Rules:

Don't be an asshole. Kindness is incredibly important.

Don't have a blank blog. I will likely block you.

Don't spam my ask box. As stated above, it can take a while to answer these things. Please be patient with me.

No celebrity gossip or the like, please. I'm just interested in characters, not actors.

Other than that, welcome to my little graveyard. Hope you have a fun time, cutie.

[biteofcherry]

Dom Ari coming to Ruby Garden later in the evening, due to previous business arrangements, only to be greeted by a pointed comment from another Master:

"Your sub is on the loose."

[thezombieprostitute]

Andy never stood a chance. I wonder if Bucky and Curtis could keep an eye on her. There's two of them, increasing their odds.

But then Jack causes a distraction (which Domme is currently punishing him for) and Cheri is out and about.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

June 10: Who I Was

For the June Jukebox Scribbles event

Warning: swearing, grabbing.

Prompt: June 10th - Pink Pony Club - Chappell Roan / “Every night's another reason why I left it all”

Character: Walter Marshall

I know it’s short but please let me know your thoughts and reblog. Also, would love to discuss any ideas these little snippets inspire!

Love you! 💞

“I thought you looked familiar.” The growl comes from the other side of the book cover.

You look above the pages as Walter glares at you, arms crossed, brows low over his blue eyes. They might be nice if he wasn’t always scowling. You go to lift the book higher and he catches it. You let him push it down.

“Can I help you?”

“Sure can, Kitty.” He sneers.

You sigh. “I’m not that anymore.”

“Doesn’t matter. When were you going to tell me?”

“I pay my rent. That’s all that matters–”

“It’s my liability to decide what matters.” He retorts.

You tilt your head and rip the book away from his grasp. He smacks the back of it, nearly knocking it out of your hands. You put it on your lap.

“Well, you know now.”

“Kitty–”

“Don’t call me that.” You snap. “You’re my landlord, not my goddamn parole officer.” You hurl the book at him and stand. “By the way, it ended six months ago. I’m a free woman to do what I want. Detective.”

“I know how it goes.” He scoffs.

You roll your eyes and spin away. You dodge away from his reach without looking. You do too. Doesn’t matter if a man wears a badge or a ball cap, they’re all the same.

Every night's another reason why I left it all,” you mutter. “Knowing I don’t have to deal with pricks I don’t want.”

[thezombieprostitute]

Leave her alone you grumpy old man! 😡

[biteofcherry]

Happy Wetnessday 💦

How are you? I am OK!

Let's play a game today.

Arranged Marriage, mind-blowing ONS, friends with benefits

CEO Ransom, neighbour Steve, enforcer Curtis

Who do you choose for what?

xoxo Wetnessday anon 💦

Hi! ❤️

I see your sneaky ways and tricks! Making Steve my neighbor, so it's not so easy for me to pair that role with arranged marriage trope

though I could make it, if I really put my mind to it 😂

But I want this to be fun, too, so I won't make it all about Steve all the time, lol.

Mind-blowing one night stand with CEO Ransom. Pure coincidence, since Ransom usually has a type for hookups and he isn't as dumb (as some might think) to fuck a woman connected to the mafia in any way. He has exceptionally good deals with Barber and wouldn't want to risk it by breaking Andy's conservative rules. But Ransom was on his own yacht when you got on board along with a few girls you met on vacation. It was your chance to be a little wild outside of the rules of the Famiglia. Not only that forbidden fruit made the experience all the better, but Ransom was really fucking masterful in how he took you apart for his own pleasure.

Back into your life, your friends with benefits arrangement with your neighbour Steve provides known comfort, joy and truly satisfying sex. Steve's father was one of old Barber's underbosses, so despite not joining into the ranks Steve is considered a part of the Famiglia. Andy respects him, so do the others, so no one interferes with your mutually beneficial arrangement.

That is, until the decision to marry you off. Andy is the one who decides on the arranged marriage to his most efficient enforcer, Curtis.

Though you knew of him, of course, and saw him on a few occasions, you never really interacted with Curtis Everett. When you're made to face him for the first time, you make a little squeak before composing yourself. You're not sure you'll be able to survive whatever the glint in Curtis eyes in response to your reaction means 😳

[thezombieprostitute]

I wonder if Curtis will occasionally invite Steve over for some fun.

[biteofcherry]

um- I- yespleaseohmygodI'llbesuchagoodgirlbutalsobadsotheycanbeextrameantome butalsoohmygodCurtisnotlettingStevefillmypussy

[alexakeyloveloki]

@thezombieprostitute you need to be restrained! My Lord!

Curtiiiiis my looove!!!

But Steve ... hng ...

[thezombieprostitute]

Pretty sure I already am. 🤭

[kisseism]

if you push your fingers deep enough you'll find the brat off button

[babyjakes]

i’ve decided i want to make some pretty major edits to ellie’s undoing :/ i was going back and reading my older work (some smut, some not) and idk i just feel like i am pretty rusty after not writing this sort of thing for so long, lol. i think i was a little bit too matter-of-fact, and the writing lacked artistry. i also am still trying to figure out how i want to do this video library thing; like what is that going to look like? is this the best way to be doing it? the fics might need to be in past tense, even though present felt more natural at first.

idk, i just think coming back to writing is going to be a process of remembering how to do all of this and that’s okay. so please don’t mind if there are some pretty substantial changes made. i have even been in my head thinking i should really just take it down, rewrite it, and post it fresh, but i think that would be annoying to people so instead i’ll just heavily edit it and indicate that somewhere. maybe i am overthinking all of this but it’s been bothering me since i posted tbh.

[thezombieprostitute]

This makes me want to do a revamp of Alphas & Algorithms. I wrote it so long ago now...

[heartattackinblackdye]

bites bites bites bjtes wait no im sorry come back i wont do it again bites bites bites bites

[thezombieprostitute]

@startcarvingdarling

[bodeckerhedron]

SEBASTIAN STAN as CHRIS BECK

➤• THE MARTIAN (2015) DIR. RIDLEY SCOTT

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

He's waiting outside our apartment BC he's concerned ok

[thezombieprostitute]

"Did @sarahdonald87 send you to check in on me or something?"

[esthermika]

[thezombieprostitute]

Leaving

A/N: Written for the June Jukebox Scribbles. Prompt:“Every night's another reason why I left it all”

Word Count: 220

A familiar voice calls your name making you look up from your book. You're surprised to see him in this part of town.

"Long time no see, Ransom," you greet. "Or do I have to call you 'Hugh' these days?"

"You never have to call me that," he's quick say. "We were friends for a very long time."

"Were we?" you raise an eyebrow.

"Fair," he rolls his eyes as he sits across from you. "I haven't seen you since you cut ties with your folks."

"That's by design."

"I suppose," he grumbles. "Do you ever miss the rich life?"

"Not really," you confess. "Every day I get to be myself and not what my parents want me to be. I don't have to perform for 'friends'. And I can sleep pretty well knowing that my life is real."

"Can't put a price on good sleep, I guess."

"Every night's another reason why I left it all," you nod. "No more crying myself to sleep. I don't have to wake up extra early to get my makeup and hair perfect. I can eat what I want, when I want. It's a good life."

Ransom looks uncomfortable for a minute before leaning in close.

"Do you think you could help me get that, too?"

"I'm sure we can work something out."

Tagging: @agustdboyoongie; @alicedopey; @alphabetically-deranged; @blobfishlol; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @iwudbutnah; @kmc1989; @lokislady82; @peaches1958; @ronearoundblindly; @stellar-solar-flare; @thiquefunlover63;

[biteofcherry]

Look at Ransom making the right moves to protect himself and build a healthier life 🩷

[thezombieprostitute]

He had to see someone else try it first, make sure it was worth it. But now he's got help he'll put in the work and follow through.

[thezombieprostitute]

Leaving

A/N: Written for the June Jukebox Scribbles. Prompt:“Every night's another reason why I left it all”

Word Count: 220

A familiar voice calls your name making you look up from your book. You're surprised to see him in this part of town.

"Long time no see, Ransom," you greet. "Or do I have to call you 'Hugh' these days?"

"You never have to call me that," he's quick say. "We were friends for a very long time."

"Were we?" you raise an eyebrow.

"Fair," he rolls his eyes as he sits across from you. "I haven't seen you since you cut ties with your folks."

"That's by design."

"I suppose," he grumbles. "Do you ever miss the rich life?"

"Not really," you confess. "Every day I get to be myself and not what my parents want me to be. I don't have to perform for 'friends'. And I can sleep pretty well knowing that my life is real."

"Can't put a price on good sleep, I guess."

"Every night's another reason why I left it all," you nod. "No more crying myself to sleep. I don't have to wake up extra early to get my makeup and hair perfect. I can eat what I want, when I want. It's a good life."

Ransom looks uncomfortable for a minute before leaning in close.

"Do you think you could help me get that, too?"

"I'm sure we can work something out."

Tagging: @agustdboyoongie; @alicedopey; @alphabetically-deranged; @blobfishlol; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @iwudbutnah; @kmc1989; @lokislady82; @peaches1958; @ronearoundblindly; @stellar-solar-flare; @thiquefunlover63;

[spicy-hobbit]

She had a rough day. Fuck her till she can't think anymore.

[thezombieprostitute]

Looking ahead at the June Jukebox Scribbles prompts and I'm stuck at “Only those in love could know”. I've got a few too many ideas so my brain isn't braining.

Which character gets this prompt?

Colin Shea

Jefferson/Mad Hatter

Andy Barber

results

Voting ended on3h

[late-to-the-party-81]

More exes and more angst for day 10 of #JuneJukeboxScribbles. This time it’s Andy Barber with Pink Pony Club - Chapell Roan.

Unbeta’d. Banner by me  and divider by @firefly-graphics.

Master list | Jukebox Master list | Join my tag list

Relationship: Ex Andy Barber x Stripper! Female Reader

Word count: 300

CW: Angst, Exes, Stripper AU

“Hey, Kitty. There’s a guy out front asking for you. Think he wants a private dance or something.”

You rolled your eyes as Candy – whose stage name was as real as yours – passed over the information.  You ran your blusher brush over your cleavage once more and stood with a resigned sigh.

You’d never planned to work in a strip club, but needs must, and as much as you disliked doing private dances, you disliked living without heating and lighting more. It’s just that most of the guys, while loaded, were gross, thinking that paying for privacy meant something more. Luckily, you worked in a decent establishment, with emergency buttons installed in the dance rooms and very enthusiastic security.

Pushing your shoulders back you sashayed out, ready to negotiate with tonight's rich asshole. And what should your eyes behold, but the most ass of all the holes. Andy Barber. Ex-DA and ex-boyfriend.

You scowled as you stalked up to him, glad that he was at least waiting off to the side where there was a modicum of privacy.

“What are you doing here,” you hissed, disliking the way his eyes roved over your outfit.

“I could ask you the same thing, Kitty.” He flicked the cat ears on your head with his pointer finger.

“Well I wasn’t left with many options after you torpedoed my life, Andy.”

“It’s why I came to find you. I feel awful. Can we go talk somewhere?”

Over the tannoy, you heard Greg the DJ announcing your name as the next stage dancer. You turned away, but he stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“On the stage. In my heels. It’s where I belong,” you replied sarcastically with a glower, before stalking off to your awaiting public.

Taglist: @butimaficwriter, @alexakeyloveloki, @doasyoudesireandlive, @goldylions, @crayongirl-linz, @nicoline1998enilocin, @king814318, @blackhawkfanatic, @steviebbboi, @patzammit, @ozwriterchick, @butterflyevans, @saiyanprincessswanie, @km-ffluv, @wheezy-stucky, @kmc1989, @kombatfather1796, @castielscaplan, @rnurse-kole, @peaches1958, @gremlin-girly

[thezombieprostitute]

Don't give him anything! Even if he pays, he doesn't deserve any closeness!

[hothorrorsummer]

Welcome to the Hot Horror Summer Fest!

🐦‍🔥 Creature Feature 🐦‍🔥

Text list available below the cut!

Angel

Behemoth

Centaur

Chimera

Cyborg

Demon

Dhampir

Dragon

Dullahan

Eldritch Deity

Fae

Gargoyle

Gorgon

Gryphon

Harpy

Hellhound

Hippocampus

Incubus/Incubi

Jackalope

Jersey Devil

Kelpie

Kikimora

Kitsune

Kraken

Leshy

Mermaid

Mimic

Minotaur

Naiad

Nereid

Nogitsune

Nymph

Oni

Orc

Phoenix

Rusalka

Satyr

Seelie

Shoggoth

Siren

Sprite

Succubus/Succubi

Thallid

Unicorn

Unseelie

Vampire

Werejaguar

Werewolf

Will-o’-Wisp

Zombie

2026 Event Post

Complete Event Info | Ao3 Collection | Squidge Collection | Bluesky

[biteofcherry]

Happy Wetnessday 💦

How are you? I am OK!

Let's play a game today.

Arranged Marriage, mind-blowing ONS, friends with benefits

CEO Ransom, neighbour Steve, enforcer Curtis

Who do you choose for what?

xoxo Wetnessday anon 💦

Hi! ❤️

I see your sneaky ways and tricks! Making Steve my neighbor, so it's not so easy for me to pair that role with arranged marriage trope

though I could make it, if I really put my mind to it 😂

But I want this to be fun, too, so I won't make it all about Steve all the time, lol.

Mind-blowing one night stand with CEO Ransom. Pure coincidence, since Ransom usually has a type for hookups and he isn't as dumb (as some might think) to fuck a woman connected to the mafia in any way. He has exceptionally good deals with Barber and wouldn't want to risk it by breaking Andy's conservative rules. But Ransom was on his own yacht when you got on board along with a few girls you met on vacation. It was your chance to be a little wild outside of the rules of the Famiglia. Not only that forbidden fruit made the experience all the better, but Ransom was really fucking masterful in how he took you apart for his own pleasure.

Back into your life, your friends with benefits arrangement with your neighbour Steve provides known comfort, joy and truly satisfying sex. Steve's father was one of old Barber's underbosses, so despite not joining into the ranks Steve is considered a part of the Famiglia. Andy respects him, so do the others, so no one interferes with your mutually beneficial arrangement.

That is, until the decision to marry you off. Andy is the one who decides on the arranged marriage to his most efficient enforcer, Curtis.

Though you knew of him, of course, and saw him on a few occasions, you never really interacted with Curtis Everett. When you're made to face him for the first time, you make a little squeak before composing yourself. You're not sure you'll be able to survive whatever the glint in Curtis eyes in response to your reaction means 😳

[thezombieprostitute]

I wonder if Curtis will occasionally invite Steve over for some fun.

[biteofcherry]

um- I- yespleaseohmygodI'llbesuchagoodgirlbutalsobadsotheycanbeextrameantome butalsoohmygodCurtisnotlettingStevefillmypussy

[thezombieprostitute]