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Assad and his Cadre Dead, His Killers Have Little Time for Victory

The Leaders of the Old Syria are Dead, Long Live the Revolution! In a last order by a dying and unpopular regime, Bashar Assad desperately called for airstrikes in the heart of his city to neutralize his attackers. They arrived too late to halt the assault, but in time to put a dampener on the victory parade, as the area in a one-block radius surrounding the bunker was razed from the air. Casualties included a detachment from the Free Democrat Party, and all the Communist Attackers.

Presidential Bunker Under Siege

The Presidential Bunker, where the executive elite of the Syrian Government is based, has come under siege by hundreds of men, with many government forces standing down upon seeing the famous Hammer and Sickle of the Syrian Communist party. Loyal forces are fighting bravely, but losing ground.

FDP

Dear Brothers and Sisters,The Government is working for the devil. Assad has led this country to dogs. If you want something concrete to happen to our country boycott Assad. That is simply put the best way to proceed. Liberty, Equality and Justice. That is what we fight for. Sincerely, the FDP.

India Threatens to Send Troops to Secure Oil Assets in Syria

India has threatened to deploy the Para Unit of Special Forces to secure their assets in Syria, and warns the Syrian government not to impinge on the rights of Indian Expats in Syria.

FDP

Today, 700 faithful followers of the great islam marched in the streets, vowing to go against the communist doctrine. They have called out for all believers of Islam who are under the influence of the communists to remember that before they are communist, they are all sons of god. Syrians, do not believe in the communist, everything they have done, every loved one you have lost is because of them. Zein (Assad's daughter's) clergyman has also claimed that she has always believed in the liberal democrats way, and that there was "no way the FDC would kill her given that she was a donator to the liberal cause, disguised as a foreign volunteer. So, respect her soul, respect her voice for a more liberal Syria and take it out on those communist infidels who have wronged islam, who have wronged us all!"

Sincerely The FDP

Generals: Overworked, Underpaid

In an unprecedented move, Several Syrian Generals have publicly made known their grievances over anticipated funding cuts, and the significant amount of work they have recently had to do “I recently had to order the arrest of someone I recognised as a childhood friend. It made me sick to my stomach. This is not what I signed up for.”

Minister of Civilian Welfare directs that all existing Syrian families and civilians are to be evacuated from the villages surrounding the Oilfields of Syria effective immediately.

“Why he doing this to me lol. I like my oil polluted house. Why does the government not do anything right?”

Government seeking to restart economy, exploring infrastructure programmes

Indian Visas Denied

The Syrian Government has suspended the granting of Work Visas to India.

Indian oil companies such as the Indian Oil Corporation threaten to take Syria to International Arbitration at ICSID. India prepares to take Syria to the World Trade Organisation. “This action by Syria is highly inappropriate especially given their deal with India. We expect Syria to behave in good faith and not arbitrarily as in accordance with International Law.

Op-Ed from an Academic

We, the faculty of the Damascus University, have had enough of this bloody civil war. We leave it up to Milton Friedman to speak to us from the bar of history- If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand.

Here in Syria, the suicidal al-Assad regime has already caused a shortage of sand- but it is under their enlightened rule that the world has witnessed the Syrian Arab Republic grow to the number-one global producer of innocent blood. We are here, on the behalf of the Syrian people with a mission- and put plainly, to tell the Bashar al-Assad government that there are no free lunches, and you have been having a helluva lunch for the last seventeen years without paying your tab.…

And if that tab be paid best by a .50 cal bullet in the Great Leader's cranial cavity, then so be it. We vouch for the Free Democrats to build a greater, freer society that will feed and clothe our peoples. Our verdict- Guilty. The Free Democrats are the guarantors of divine justice, and are the only ones who will protect the traditions, the culture, and the religion of our ancestors. We will be the victors, for we do not fight- we protect Syria from the vile machinations of fools and madmen.

from the faculty of the university

Donation to Syrian Government

Cuban Chamber of Commerce makes generous donation to Syrian Government. Thank Comrade Ledif Castro. Return to Go. Pass to collect.

Found on a Syrian Communist Memes Page

The disrespectful publicist of the FDP had very rudely barged his way into the communist party to "meet with the communist party" where he proved himself to be a bumbling idiot who did not have the prepared materials for discussion. We will not meet with this fool again.

Strike in the Oilfields

A strike breaks out in the Indian-run Oilfields of Syria. Labour Advocacy Agency has convinced workers not to take up employment there. “What idiot government minister sells of all these rights for $ 3 million? I could buy him for that amount.”

#-Reuters

NEWS FLASH

Parliament Building is structurally damaged but standing due to a bomb. 20 administrative staff dead, 15 injured.

FDP

I the Publicist of the Free Democrats Party, would like to have a meeting with the entire Communists Committees, Regarding recent events. I feel that if the Communist reject such a peaceful Request, we can see that they do not care about peaceful meetings.

Sincerely Publicist of the Free Democrats Party

Generals Pledge Political Neutrality

A press conference of the top generals of the Syrian Military was held earlier today, where they pledged to be politically neutral, and not interfere in politics. They further noted that the military was the guardian of the People and the Revolution.

Press Release - Communist Party

We are FOR the people.

The Communists once again deny responsibility for such baseless accusations and reaffirms their stance against the oppressive Assad regime and the hypocritical actions carried out by the FDP. The Government has handed over the oil industry of Syria on a silver platter to India. That leaves nothing left for the good people of Syria. The communists will return oil fields to the proletariat and ensure that all Syrians are employed and have equal pay. We are the true party that can take care of the chaos and restore order in Syria. We want to give the Syrians back their voices and rights.

Power to the People.

#press release #communist party

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