x

[rollingstoneboycomplex]

when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me

[heavensickness]

Full paragraph hurts even more.

“ (…) I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”

[damhanalla]

Haven’t seen J in nearly 3 weeks and he didn’t even mention once this week about meeting up so I am starting to wonder why we ever bothered saying we’d try. He also leaves my messages unopened for 3, sometimes 4 hours and I just find it rude. I don’t expect constant interaction but come on. I’d been feeling like this the week before last though all week and then last weekend I went out with my department and got with a project manager from work. And now he’s asking me to go for dinner and drinks and I don’t know what to do about it because he is the furthest thing from my usual type and I didn’t even really know who he was in work. I haven’t told a single person about it because everyone thinks me and J are seeing each other unofficially and yeah a part of me feels bad but another part of me is like does he even care??? I have a job interview for a brilliant company in my home city next week and I ament even happy about it because yeah obviously it’s a fantastic company and I miss home but I’m nearly two years living here and I’m settled down. I want more money though and more career progression so who knows. I feel extremely overwhelmed and I just want someone to talk to but I also don’t want to tell anyone. Logic!

[cowboydarling-deactivated201911]

womanhood is having moments where u are terrified of being physically witnessed by anyone because u haven’t put enough effort into ur appearance

[damhanalla]

Met up with J last night, we went for dinner and he said he’s sorry about the way things ended the first time around, that he used to feel worse about having cut me off every time he’d meet me cos I was always so nice to him and he wished in a way that I’d just not speak to him haha. Which is funny because I never felt like he’d cut me off I felt like we’d both done it to each other because we had no idea where we stood. This is like 3 years onwards so it feels very weird. I was so so nervous last night but then he told me he’d been nervous all day aswell which was nice. He asked me if I wanted to see him again and I said I’d like to but he said he didn’t want to mess me around because he’s definitely planning on going travelling early next year. I really admired the honesty and it’s just refreshingly different to the first time round. We’re not guarded anymore we’re just saying exactly how we feel. I don’t know if I’m stupid to be considering staying seeing a guy who’s moving away in a few months but I just have always liked him and it’s never gone away and I just don’t see myself finding that level of a connection with anyone else rn. I’ve done the whole casual scene and I’ve definitely outgrown it and have no desire to hook up with someone without real intimacy anymore. He dropped me home last night and kissed me and said he was so glad I’d agreed to meet him. Asked me what I was doing for the weekend and I said nothing and he said “great, we can be at nothing together”. I can’t explain it because I was so upset last week when I hadn’t heard from him and so nervous waiting to meet him and I went to bed last night feeling so at peace. Anyway if anyone has any thoughts and thinks it’s a v bad idea I would like to hear lol x

[damhanalla]

I have made a very big decision and I’m going to text J this evening and tell him I’ve been thinking about our conversation and if he’s still interested I’d like to meet up sometime. Worst that happens is he rejects me. I’ll cry for a bit but I’ll get over it. Have to live my life !!!! It’s gonna break my heart more long term to have waited for a boy who’s probably equally as scared as me. I feel so free by knowing they even the worst outcome isn’t all that bad ☺️☺️☺️

[damhanalla]

And just as I’d decided I was going to do it HE TEXTS ME. The law of attraction in the universe is very real.

[damhanalla]

I have made a very big decision and I’m going to text J this evening and tell him I’ve been thinking about our conversation and if he’s still interested I’d like to meet up sometime. Worst that happens is he rejects me. I’ll cry for a bit but I’ll get over it. Have to live my life !!!! It’s gonna break my heart more long term to have waited for a boy who’s probably equally as scared as me. I feel so free by knowing they even the worst outcome isn’t all that bad ☺️☺️☺️

[damhanalla]

The body on you girl, ya look amazing!!

Pre holiday- a far cry from that now haha but thanks

[letters-to-the-sea]

“It is not easy to let go of people, especially when they are of kindred souls to your own. You just have to trust that however short they stayed in your life, they have fulfilled a beautiful purpose - perhaps it was to touch you softly, or to wake you up from a stupor, or to teach you a lesson of some sort. Whatever it was they came into your life for, you are never emptier for their absence. Rather, you are more whole for it. Love them while letting them go. Love them even after they are gone. And love yourself all the more for your strength.”

— The Subtle Art of Letting Go // Genefe Navilon

[damhanalla]

I was at a festival at the weekend and was camping with friends from college and amongst the group was an old flame of mine I used to date about 3 years ago. I’d met him at Christmas and we ended up kissing but nothing became of it and I didn’t mind at the time because I just didn’t expect it to. So I had no expectations for anything to happen at the weekend either. Anyway we were getting on really well and making jokes about the past and then on Sunday we were all dancing in a big group and but somehow the two of us ended up breaking off together and I cant explain it but when I’m with him and we’re dancing it’s as if nobody else is there and I was quite drunk at this point and told him I really liked him, not sure exactly how I delivered it but yeah. We spent the rest of the night together and we were fairly off our faces by the end and he stayed in my tent. We just lay there cuddling and holding hands the next morning and he told me he’d thought we were getting on so well all weekend and that he was hoping this would happen. And that he was “big into me” aswell. We both live in the same city now and he asked me then if we were going to meet up there and I just went silent and then told him how I’d said this last night not to say things if he’s not going to follow through with me. Anyway it’s two days later and not a word from him and I’m so upset that i fall so easily for him every time but I can’t help it because I genuinely have always felt such a connection with him and he obviously does too but is so bad for communicating so he’s just gonna break my heart AGAIN.

[thecommonchick]

OMG! 

[pascalation]

HIS LITTLE HAND HOLDING HIS FINGER IM SOBB ING

[screengeniuz]

😩😩😩❤️❤️❤️

[elegantpaws]

:)

[prsephonies-deactivated20200815]

bro stop falling in love w the intangible idea youve projected onto someone you barely know youre scaring the hoes

[damhanalla]

I am on the way home from an amazing time in thailand where I conquered my fears of being in water where I can’t touch the ground (snorkeling) and heights (zip lining) and I also kissed the most beautiful Australian man at the jungle and full moon party and he drove me around the island on the back of a scooter all v fun :-)

Absolutely don’t want to go back to work on Wednesday pls n thank

[damhanalla]

Thailand is beautiful 🥰

[verybrightdarkness]

[damhanalla]

My mom is upset atm over her job and it’s making me upset but I am bad at expressing emotions so i can’t be on the phone to her :(( she doesn’t have any confidence in herself and it actually breaks my heart

[damhanalla]

It’s 5 weeks until thailand and I’m not ready to be in a bikini so I’m trying to push my body to the limits to try and lose weight. I did a circuits class tonight and then went for a walk and I’m doing circuits and spinning tomorrow. I plan to go gym 6 times this week but I honestly just think I’m gonna burn myself into the ground 🤷🏼‍♀️

[damhanalla]

My ex of 3 and a half years super liked me on tinder this eve and that pretty much sums up the shit show that is my love life atm xx