if i dont laugh at a vulva joke shoot me in the head immediately
So you’re saying we can do this you invulvatary

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@damianmcgintleman
if i dont laugh at a vulva joke shoot me in the head immediately
So you’re saying we can do this you invulvatary
your aversion to anything earnest or sincere has affected us in the following ways 1. youre annoyinggggggg
I just don’t know how to tell a guy I need him to humiliate me/smack me around a little in bed so I can assert control over bad past experiences and re-contextualize them in a way that brings me pleasure and a feeling of power without scaring him off lol anyways just a Big Mac and a Diet Coke please
And a large fry for my good friend Natasha Bedingfield
A fight for the right to exist
I have to make the bed but hes in the way
Be sealed for all time
I'm starting a collection
oh my gawd, peter... we're umbran witches
it’s like i always say: fuck
a list of fake tumblr stories i can sort of remember:
that one where some girl claimed people thought her car was the tardis, so she leapt out of it and looked at her boobs like “wow that’s a development” and ran off
hipster blog vs. fandom blog in a starbucks
people singing “let it go” on a bus???
that student who looked into the security cameras in their school’s classroom whenever something stupid would happen and then the security guard thanked them personally
some guy fixing the lights in a store by holding up a sonic screwdriver
homestuck updates, a girl screams, the police come, one of the officers also reads homestuck, he starts freaking out, the other officer gives him a shock blanket
a girl has a joking argument with a police officer who’s a “mei main”
every time a waiter comes back to the table, they say a different supernatural/sherlock/dr. who pun, and the poster continues to fall out of their seat because they’re laughing so hard
someone catches someone on a bus says “i think you fell for me” and the entire bus applauds
a girl wants to buy a led zeppelin cd and the cashier wants her to buy a one direction cd then the manager comes out and yells at the cashier and thanks the girl for having awesome music tastes
boyfriend and girlfriend walk into store, girlfriend complaining that books are horrible, boyfriend breaks up with her
female student: *says something bitchy* nerd student: *calls her a slut* teacher: *laughs*
girl says alohamora to open locked door, it opens, classmates cheer
AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE
i’m a fully grown adult woman and one time this girl came up to me in a store and screamed “DO YOU SHIP REYLO” and i said yes and she started yelling at me then her mom came over and yelled at her because the mom also shipped reylo and then the mom apologized to me and bought me a nutella crepe
during these exciting times (heated rivalry) i am once again encouraging you guys to watch women’s hockey, where this ACTUALLY publicly happens
is this that yuri on ice people talk about
youtube comment that i think about a lot
My little Qais is getting worse every day, and I’m terrified I might lose him. His injured body can’t handle the cold, hunger, and fear anymore. Please, I’m begging you—don’t let him slip away.
When Qais stopped breathing for a moment, I thought his suffering had reached its end. Watching support disappear while he’s still full of shrapnel breaks me. Please donate and speak for us—your voice is the last hope keeping him alive.
Gofundme - Vetted
Don't abandon them when they need us most! Qais is in immense pain and needs our support- share and donate whatever you can to his campaign!
Franklin from Animal Crossing
psychiatrist just finished my evaluation and they said i have a curse most ancient
mutuals for like 10 years but never have spoken a word to each other. the true tumblr experience